I don't own these characters or profit from them. Also I can't guarantee that the contents of this fic will or won't match up with what happens in the show. For all I know it may be cancelled by the time you read this and at the time of writing they are not even half way through Season 4.

Two Broke Girls

And the Morning After

By, Clayton Overstreet

Total: $5496.32

Sometimes you're just not ready for the day. Max woke up with a splitting headache. Not unusual. Especially since the last thing she remembered from the night before at the party was her and Caroline singing karaoke. Oleg had just added something to the champagne… which probably explained why everything after that was a gaping black hole full of hangover.

Suddenly she felt someone move behind her. "Well, guess I got lucky." Without opening her eyes she rolled over and wrapped her arm around the warm body on her bed, spooning close as she kissed her partner's neck. "Mmm."

"Ooo, that feels nice," an all too familiar voice said.

Max's eyes snapped open. "Ah!"

Caroline turned and stared for a second. "Eek!" They shot apart, clutching at the blankets. Then they both winced as sunlight hit their eyes. "What are you doing in here?"

"This is my bed… isn't it?" They looked around. "Oops, guess not." She looked at Caroline. "Do you remember anything?"

"Not after Han started singing Tequila and doing the Pee-Wee Herman dance." Caroline and her looked at each other suspiciously. Finally the blond said, "Okay there's probably a perfectly good explanation for this. We were drunk and probably just crawled into bed and passed out. Perfectly innocent." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "We totally did not sleep together."

"I see two problems with that theory," Max said. Caroline opened her eyes and saw Max holding her half of the blanket up, staring down into it with wide eyes. "First of all, if I could do this to my own body, I'd have killed myself before I got out of high school by doing it all day every day." She leaned in. "Second, that is not my shade of lipstick."

Caroline gently lifted up her covers and peered inside. "Uh… this is." Max leaned over to look. Caroline pulled the sheets tight around her. "Hey!"

"Oh now you're shy? Where was that attitude last night?" She licked her lips. "All I can taste is whatever booze Oleg makes in the men's room toilet."

"Me too." Caroline ran a hand over her face. "Okay, it's almost time for work. Let's just get up, get cleaned off, and get through the day. We can work this out later." She paused. "Not that there's anything to work out. Right?"

"Right," Max said quickly. "We're probably just over reacting." She paused. "Whatever happened or didn't though, we have to keep cool. Nobody will ever let us live it down if thy find out."

"I can only imagine." They started to get up, then froze, looking at one another, neither sure how to move. "Uh…"

"It's cool. This isn't my first 'what the hell did I do last night and who did I do it with' moment. You take the sheet, I'll take the comforter."

"Okay." They grabbed each and quickly got out of bed, backs to the wall. "Well… I'll… just hop in the shower and you can go to your room and pick out clothes."

"That works." Max said nervously. She backed towards the door while Caroline waited, groping for the knob. As she turned and slipped from the room Caroline's face turned beat red as she saw her pearl pink lipstick in a print directly on Max's left butt cheek.

000

In the car it was silent. Caroline tried turning on the radio. "… she keeps me warm…" She turned the station so fast she almost broke the knob. "…kissed a girl and I liked it…" Switch. "And now for another in our marathon of romance ballads!" She and Max hit the off button at the same time so hard they almost stubbed their fingers. When they touched they jerked away, and Caroline almost swerved into oncoming traffic.

Max rubbed her fingertip. "Yeah, we're real inconspicuous."

"Come on, we can do this." Caroline plastered a smile on her face. "I'll just… think about shoes."

"And I'll act like I'm nursing a hangover… oh wait. I am."

"Perfect. Just a normal day."

They went into the restaurant and clocked in without looking at anyone. Earl smiled at them and they began serving customers. Everything was going smoothly.

Han came in holding paperwork, reading as he walked. "Hey Max, there been a change in trash delivery. They come on Thursday instead of Friday now."

"Aw come on, Friday is fish day. Do you know what those dumpsters will smell like if they wait a week before cleaning that out?"

"Hey, you think I like it any better? Maybe I talk Oleg into changing fish day…" Han looked up at Max and froze. "Oh my god." He looked at Caroline. "Oh my god!" He looked up at the ceiling, fell to his knees, and let out a stream of words Max did not understand, hands clasped in front of him as the paperwork hit the floor.

"What?" Max looked nervously over at Caroline who shrugged, unsure what was going on. "Did your platform shoes arrive? Is there a million dollar limbo contest? Did your other testicle finally drop?"

Han looked at her, smiling hugely. "You and Caroline… you slept together!"

"What!?" Max said.

Caroline couldn't stop herself from saying, "How did you—?"

Han stood up. "I… I have to go to the bathroom. Right now. Don't disturb me!" He turned and ran to the bathroom, slamming it shut. "Nobody come in!"

Caroline moved over to Max and whispered, "What did you say?"

"Nothing! You were here." Max but her thumb nail. "Maybe it was just a lucky guess. I mean Han has been imagining us having sex together since we met him."

"Right. He'll finish… whatever he's doing in there, come out, and realize he was imagining things."

"And if he doesn't we can toss him into the dumpster with Oleg's fish."

Oleg at that moment stuck his head out of the back. "Order up!" He stopped, staring at the two of them and his eyes almost seemed to pop out of his head. "Holy spit-shake! You two had sex!"

"Oh-my-god!" Max snapped. She looked at Caroline. "Do I still have a lipstick print on me?"

"No," Caroline said.

Earl looked up. "You did?" He slapped the side of his head. "Damn gay-dar must be on the fritz."

Oleg laughed. "This best day ever! Even better than Legend of Korra finale!" He frowned. "Oh damn it."

"What?" Max snarled.

"Now I have to change name of my blog from 'Max&CarlineShouldDoItdotCom' to 'Max&CarlineDidItdotCom'!" He slid the food out of the hole. "Here, take this. I am having real work to do." Caroline sighed and went to get the plates. "Still best day ever!"

Earl looked at Max. She looked back. "We were drunk and don't remember a damned thing."

"Hey, that's how I ended up in bed with an old blues player named Rough Hands Jackson back in nineteen sixty-four. I don't know what we smoked that night and we never spoke about it again, but if it was going to happen, there are worse choices than a saxophone player, let me tell you. Course before that he was just known as Mississippi Jackson…"

Before she could say anything the doors of the diner opened and Sophie came running in. She looked at Caroline and Max. "Girls! I just read Oleg's blog update! Is it true?" She ran over to Max and inhaled deeply through her nose. "Mmm, extra perfume, lots of soap, a whiff of shame, and a hint of…" She smiled. "Oh you silly naïve girl. You can't wash that smell off in one afternoon. It sticks around like body glitter."

"No idea what you're talking about," she said, stepping away.

"Then why are you blushing?"

"I'm not, I'm plastered. My face always looks this red after drinking until I pass out." She cleared off a table, picking up the dirty dishes like nothing had happened. "Back off Sophie or the only thing you're going to be smelling is my can of mace. I was saving it for Oleg and Han, but if you get all touchy feely I'll use it on you too."

"If I had a nickel for every lesbian who told me that..." .

Caroline groaned. "Why don't we just put out a commercial and let everyone know?"

Oleg peeked out of the back. "No worries, I already posted the one I made on youtube!"

Max glared at him. "Take it down or I'll be posting you being castrated and we'll see which one gets more hits!"

He frowned. "Fine." He slid back inside. "One day she spends as dyke and already I am having my balls busted!"

Han came out of the bathroom, wiping his hands off with a paper towel. "I am not mopping up in there!" Max shouted.

He nodded. "I know, I got it."

Caroline looked at Max. "What do we do now?"

She contemplated. "I have an idea." She looked at Han. "If I kiss Caroline right now, will you give us a two dollar an hour raise and an extra half hour paid lunch break?" He froze like a dear in a headlight. Slowly, eyes wide, he nodded.

"Max don't…" Caroline began.

Max grabbed her hand and kissed her quickly on the back of the wrist. "There." She looked at Han. "You'd better hold up your end of the deal." Han tried to speak, but then his eyes rolled up in his head and he fainted, a huge grin on his face. "Doesn't take much, does it? I guess because all the blood rushing around has a shorter trip than with most people."

"Great," Caroline said. "What do we do with him now?"

Earl said, "Leave him there until he comes to. I don't think any of us want to see what happens if anyone touches him right now."

Caroline sighed. "I'll get a bucket and mop ready just in case."

Max looked around at the others and held up a finger. "Look, we were wasted last night and don't remember a damned thing. But I want you all to know that whatever happens, we're still not sleeping with any of you!"

Sophie, Earl, and Oleg shared a look. Han raised his head off the floor. Together they all said, "I'm okay with that."

"Though if you change your mind…" Sophie began.

"I bring video camera," Oleg added.

"No!" Max and Caroline both shouted.

"Okay," Sophie said. "Just offering. Personally I would have appreciated a little guidance my first time with a girl. What a disaster that was."

"There wasn't a time," Caroline said. "We didn't…"

Oleg looked at Sophie. "Can you believe it? Still in the closet in this day and age."

"So sad," Sophie said, shaking her head.

"We're not in the closet," Caroline said. "We're not anything."

"Yeah, things that happen when you're blackout drunk don't count," Max said.

Earl said, "How many times are you going to use that excuse?"

Max smirked. "Hey, it worked when I was ten and it works now." She looked at Caroline. "I still maintain that I have no idea how my little red wagon ended up smashing into that police car, but I wasn't allowed to play Penelope Pitstop with little Johnny Walker and Captain Morgan after that."

"You and I are never getting drunk together again," Caroline said firmly.

"Then what are we supposed to do? Sober you're a kill joy."

000

After they finished at the diner and got to the cupcake shop the two of them felt more exhausted. Caroline said, "I feel like we spent the day in a fish bowl."

"Yeah, if Han and Oleg keep staring at us like that, they're going to go blind," Max said.

"That's just a myth."

"Not if I poke out their eyes." She put an apron around herself. "Let's just forget it until we finish up the day and get home."

"I don't mind that," Caroline said.

Max stopped and stared at the cupcakes. "Also, let's leave cherries off the menu today." They shared a look, both of them blushing and quickly busied themselves.

They were just about to close up shop for the day when a handsome man entered. "Hey Max, you ready?"

"Justin," Max said a little too brightly. "Oh right, we have a date."

"Yeah, but if you're busy…"

"No! No, it's fine." She looked at Caroline. "It's fine right?"

Caroline also seemed a bit too chipper. "Sure. Why wouldn't it be? You two go have fun and I'll close out."

Justin smiled. "Great!" He looked at Max. "Who is she?"

"Oh her? That's my part—" Her lips slammed shut. "Uh, she's my business associate. In the cupcake business."

He nodded and smiled at Caroline. "Nice to meet you."

"You too."

They started to leave. Max looked back and saw Caroline clearing out the register, not looking up. But then, why should she? No reason.

Justin said, "You alright?"

Turning around Max smiled up at him. "I'm great."

000

Caroline was sitting in the apartment. There was something on TV but she was not paying attention. She was looking at her hand, which still had a lipstick print on it from where Max had kissed her. Every now and then she used her other hand to poke at it, not saying anything. Suddenly the door opened, making her jump. Max came in, walked over to the couch, and flopped down. "What are you doing here?"

"I live here." She said.

"I know, but you've only been out with Justin about two hours. I figured he would be rounding third base by now."

"The catcher was a bit distracted and dropped the ball," Max said.

"Distracted?" Caroline paused, looking at her hand again. "Oh."

"When I can't focus on a guy that cute, something is wrong. We need to talk this out."

"What's there to talk about?" Caroline asked. "We were drunk and we do not even remember it."

"Oh come on, don't make it awkward." Max sat up and shook her head. "It's not like we've never thought about it before."

"I've never seriously considered sleeping with you."

"Hey!"

"You know what I mean."

Max nodded. "Yeah. I do." She lay back. "I mean even if we were gay…"

"Which we're not."

"Right. You can ask a hundred of the biggest losers in town, I'm definitely not gay. But even if we were, you're my best friend. My business partner. We work together. We live together."

"Gee, can't imagine why anyone would think we're gay," Caroline muttered.

"The point I was making," Max said slowly. "Is that we're too important to each other to risk that by letting a relationship get between us."

"Right. If it did not work out everything would come crashing down."

"Hey as things stand now half the time I can barely stand to be around you. If we started sleeping together I'd probably smother you in the dead of night before the week was out."

Caroline gave her a catty smile. "Plus it's going to cost me a fortune for the round of penicillin treatments I'm going to have to take this week alone. If we were together all the time I'd probably catch things that aren't usually seen outside of movies about the French Revolution."

Max laughed. "Plus I'm not your cousin and this isn't the back alley at a debutant ball so…" She stopped. "God, what are we doing?"

Caroline said, "We're getting worked up over something we can't even remember. How stupid is that?"

"Yeah and how good could it have been? I mean I've had blackout drunk sex before, don't get me wrong, but usually if I can't remember something there's a reason I find out later. Generally my policy is, if you can't remember what happened it's best to just slink back to your own bed in the morning feeling ashamed and dirty and let the memories stay buried."

"Sounds like a plan." Caroline looked at her nails. "Though I have to wonder why we did it."

"Well I don't know about you, but I'm irresistible," Max said. "Clearly you were dazzled by my charms and couldn't resist."

"Your charms… home made vodka. One of them anyway." Caroline fluffed her hair. "Besides if anyone was irresistible, it's me."

"Right," Max said, arching her back and cupping her boobs. "Like you could compete with this."

"I'll have you know that many women have hit on me," Caroline said. "And I never once had to solicit it by hiking my thong up above my pants for the world to see."

"So you were looking at my ass?"

"It's kind of hard to miss."

"Oh you bitch!"

"Skank!"

"Bimbo!"

"Tramp!"

"I'll have you know that with or without alcohol I would turn you gay way before you could make me switch teams."

"Please. If I tried you'd be on your knees begging me to be your lesbian love-ah!"

000

The Next Morning

Max and Caroline lay in bed together again, eyes staring up at the ceiling. Their hair was mussed, their makeup smeared, and both of them had huge smiled plastered on their faces along with a few lipstick prints. Max smacked her lips. "So you gay now?"

"Yep. You?"

"I thought that was implied when I was screaming 'Yes, yes, oh god yes Caroline I love you, oh god yes!' loud enough to be heard in Oleg's home village. Let me think about it for a minute with a clear head." She stared at the ceiling, lips pursed. "Yep. My freak flag's flying and it's in rainbow colors. Did not see that coming but there it is."

Caroline smiled. "I think for me it was when you did that one thing…" She looked at Max. "Where did you learn that?"

"It's the fruit of my life experience."

"Oh." She licked her lips. "But that other thing? You know near the end? Don't do that again without asking."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. Got a little carried away." She froze. "Dang, it really does happen like that. I owe a lot of guys an apology. Maybe I should hire a sky writer."

"It made me feel weird. I'm not saying never again," she added hurriedly. "But definitely let me know ahead of time. And save it for special occasions. Don't just whip it out all the time."

"Gotcha." Max reached over and laced her fingers with Caroline's. "So um… are we saying we're a couple now?"

"As long as we don't get weird about it and start calling each other pet names."

"No way, Snicker-doodle," Max said with a grin. Then she reached over with her free hand and smacked Caroline on the butt. "Now get up and make me breakfast, woman." Caroline snorted derisively. "Okay, so I guess that doesn't work. There is one thing that I wonder though."

"What's that?"

"How much do you think Oleg and Han would pay to see us get into a tickle fight."

"They couldn't afford it. Plus, I'm pretty sure it would kill Han."

Max grinned. "Guess we'll have to save it for when he's being really annoying."

Total: $5699.65

000

While I am aware that there would be many episodes of a season of the show that would revolve around things other than the girl's relationships, the following is a list of story ideas for episodes that would follow this one and scenes from them. Maybe half the season. 13 episodes.

1. And The Valentine's Day Massacre

It's Caroline and Max's First Valentine's Day as a couple and they exchange gifts. But when Max's present turns out to be a sex toy, Caroline's passion dims as she begins to wonder if a girl can be enough.

Max: (Posing against the bedroom door in the lingerie Caroline bought her) How do I look? (Bends over, displaying her cleavage)

Caroline: Like you are both sexy and desperate for loving.

Max: Perfect!

2. And the Support Group

Unsure what it means to be gay, Caroline joins an LGBT support group at the community center. But when she tries to be out and proud and forces Max who does not want to make a big deal of it to attend a gay pride parade where they end up on TV, they clash. Caroline thinks Max is ashamed of the relationship and Max, to try to make up for it, takes her out for a fancy dinner. But when someone she knows sees them Max runs out of the restaurant, leaving Caroline alone and stuck with the check.

Is this the end of their relationship and their friendship?

Max: I am not ashamed to be with you!

Old Friend: Max, is that you?

Max: Oh god… (Covers face and runs from the restaurant)

3. And The Rival

While Max seems to have vanished and cannot be reached by anyone, Caroline is rescued from her dine-and-dash charges and hit on by another rich and beautiful girl. When Max finally returns Caroline ignores her, agreeing to a date with the new girl. But is there more to her new romance than there seems? And will Max's fear of commitment and jealousy prevent her from rescuing Caroline before it's too late?

Caroline: Wait, why are we going to the airport?

Beautiful Woman: You fly often?

Caroline: No, but Max knows a great bar off the runway where they make a drink so good it's probably illegal for the pilots to fly afterwards. She and I used to go there to pick up pilots.

4. And Public Relations

A big company wants to invest in Max and Caroline's cupcakes, but there is a problem. They are big into classic family values. While they could lift the girls out of poverty, Caroline and Max would have to show themselves as being on the side of old fashioned family values.

Max: Sorry, but even if we could go back in the closet, there was no way I could have worn that gray wig and the granny dress.

Caroline: I know. You could barely keep your boobs covered when we weren't dating. (Shrugs) On the plus side, when you flashed the TV cameras you definitely made an impression. We've got orders for bachelor parties for the next month that want erotic cupcakes.

Max: (Reaching to lift up her shirt) I'll model for them myself.

5. And the Protest

After being outed on international television a teenage girl comes up to Max and asks her for advice on being gay, which Max gives in her usual sarcastic way. The girl's religious mother freaks out and drags her away. Soon the diner and Max and Caroline's cupcake shop become the center of an anti-gay protesters claiming the girls are leading children down the wrong path. When Caroline's support group weighs in things get even worse as the two groups begin a war with max and Caroline in the middle. How can the girls get both groups to leave so they can get back to normal?

Max: You're here! You're queer! Now buy some damn cupcakes or leave already!

Han: I have never seen so many lesbians in one place!

Caroline: Then you've never been to a shoe sale at Sears.

Max: Hey, I look good in these!

6. And the Commitment

Max begins to suspect that Caroline's interest in her is fading now that they are out of the closet. That now that she's out in the open the spark is fading. So she suggests they get a tattoo to symbolize their love. Will Caroline do it?

Max: A ton of guys are walking around with my name tattooed on them, but I've never gotten one for anyone else. It'll be special.

Caroline: Wait a minute, so there are a bunch of guys walking around with "Max" tattooed on their bodies?

Max: Yeah. It means that when I dumped them they either had to explain it to their next girlfriend or date someone else named Max. Really the gay community should be thanking me.

7. And The Wedding

Caroline and Max are hired to make cupcakes for a gay wedding. As they get mixed in with the other caterers and the guests however, the wedding brings ugly things to the surface. Between the family opposing the wedding, the implied pressure as Max secretly catches Caroline posing with the bride's dress and practicing her "I do" in front of a mirror, and Caroline catching the "groom", a nun, and three of the bride's maids going at it in the confessional the pressure is on.

Caroline: I'm sorry if I made you think you had to step up and be all mature. I'm really happy with where we are right now and I don't think we need to push it.

Max: And I'm sorry I cracked like a little girl who finds a spider crawling on her arm. I really should apologize to Han.

Caroline: Yeah, you teased him pretty mercilessly when that happened.

Max: To be fair, I didn't cry and wet myself— much. Certainly not that much.

8. And the Stripper

Caroline sees Max hanging out with a male stripper and follows her to a strip club. Later Max comes home sprinkled with body glitter and refuses to tell her what is going on. Is she having an affair?

Caroline: You mean you were stripping to buy me a birthday present?

Max: Duh! I wasn't doing it to hear forty year old men shout at me to "shake it baby".

Caroline: I am such an idiot. Can you ever forgive me?

Max: Sure. It's nice to see you get jealous every now and then. It let's me known that I basically own you, especially now. You do know you're cooking dinner for the next month, right? And I'm talking gourmet meals, not just Wendy's.

Caroline: Yeah, I know. But… well it is my birthday. Any chance I can get you to "shake it baby" for me?

Max: (Smiles and gets up to turn on the stereo) Sure, but you'll have to run down to the ATM and get some singles. I know the kind of money you're packing and I'm not letting you stick spare change in my g-string!

9. And the Baby

Caroline takes the bus home and gets grabbed in an alley. When she wakes up she's in the hospital and the doctors tell her she's the victim of a sexual assault. She's been drugged and her system is out of whack, but there is a definite chance that she is pregnant. When Max arrives to comfort her the two of them have to decide what to do if it's true while they wait for the results.

Caroline: I don't think I can get an abortion.

Max: Don't worry, I've got a wire hanger and a great right hook. (Caroline glares at her) I'm kidding. Sheesh, if My mom wouldn't abort me, you think I could do it to some kid I've never even met? Whatever happens we're in this together. You, me… and this little guy if need be.

Caroline: Thanks Max.

Max: Thank me when we track down the guy who did this and I rip his balls off.

Caroline: (Laughs while crying at the same time. Bends over and talks to her stomach) See that? Mommy-Max is planning our first family outing already.

Oleg: (In the doorway with Han and Sophie) We want in too. I have cousins in Russian mafia who really know how to hurt. Then when they're done we'll let Sophie have him.

Sophie: You'd be amazed what I can do to a man with nothing but a needle and thread.

Oleg: I can vouch for that.

Han: I'll tear him apart!

Max: Thanks Han, I'm sure he's trembling in his boots already, terrified at what you're going to do to his knee caps.

Han: Damn right!

10. And the Recovery

Caroline is afraid to leave the apartment after her attack, so Max covers for her at the diner and the cupcake store. But as they days turn into weeks Max is becoming more and ragged. Will Caroline snap out of it in time to save their business? Or will Max drop dead trying to keep it all going herself?

Max: Me? No, I'm fine.

Oleg: You look like you've been wrestling with Russian circus bear.

Max: Hey, leave my mother out of this!

11. And the Wonderful Life

It's Christmas Eve and Caroline receives an invitation to a family Christmas party she cannot refuse at a big mansion, but refuses to allow Max to come with her. Max is offended, but quickly pushes it down and wishes Caroline luck. While alone though she begins to brood, thinking Caroline thinks Max doesn't fit in with her rich and important friends. She falls asleep on the couch watching twinkling Christmas tree lights and thinking that maybe Caroline would be better off if they never met. She is awakened when three ghosts (Oleg, Sophie, and Han) show take her on trips through time. Oleg shows her Caroline as a girl, in her big mansion, but basically alone and miserable. Sophie shows Max the present, where Caroline is apparently enjoying the party, until her cousin starts making cracks about her and Max and is joined by several other family members, who point out that Caroline did not bring Max with her. Max is surprised when Caroline announces she left Max at home because she is too good to have to deal with them. Finally Han shows Max Caroline's future without her where her family brings her back into the fold, but she is just as alone and miserable as when she was a child.

Max: (looking at Han) Let me guess, you're the ghost who is yet to cum?

Han: Haha! Very funny. You want to stand here cracking wise all day or you want to get this over with? I haven't got all night you know.

Max: Sure, why not? It looks like the future is going to be pretty short anyway. Can you give me any horse race results?

Han: No.

Max: Then can you tell me if Han ever hits puberty?

12. And the Money

Caroline's grandmother offers her the chance to get her old life back. Money, a great house, and not having to work in the diner. The only catch? She would have to dump Max.

Max: I say you do it!

Caroline: How can you even suggest that?

Max: Simple. You lie to the old bat, then when she hands over the money, we run off with it.

13. And the Future (Hour Long Season Finale Special)

Total: $20,456,987.27

When Caroline's controlling grandmother dies of a heart attack after finding out that Caroline chose Max rather than her money, it turns out that she had already changed the will, expecting Caroline to submit to her will just like everyone else and did not have time to write her out. Which means that Caroline is rich again. The first thing she does? She proposes to Max, who accepts.

A month later the girls are getting ready for their wedding by visiting their friends. It turns out that Caroline not only has financed the cupcake shop, but bought Han's diner, making him do all the work he used to make them so, dress him and Oleg in an outfit not unlike Howdy Doody, much to Earl and Max's amusement.

Despite this everyone is only too happy to help with the wedding while the girls have a stressful time even with money, which Max isn't used to and Caroline wondering if it is all really meant to be. If the money will change Max. If she herself will become who she was back before she was poor.

In the end though Max and Caroline walk down the aisle. Caroline in a demure white wedding dress and Max in slutty red one on the assumption that if she tried wearing white the dress would probably explode on general principles. The two have a beautiful ceremony with Sophie as matron of honor, Earl as best man, Oleg as head usher and caterer for Caroline's side (her family trying to suck up now that she controls the family fortune and Max wanting to see them get food poisoning), and Han as ring bearer.

Naturally just after they say their vows and are declared married, the IRS busts in to inform them that Caroline's grandmother hasn't paid taxes in thirty years.

The last scene shows Caroline and Max working for Han again, dressed in the same outfits they forced him and Oleg to wear. They share a rueful smile and a kiss before Han yells at them to get back to work.

Max: (During the wedding) Caroline I can only think of one way to show you how much you mean to me. You see that hot caterer over there by the buffet table.

Caroline: (looks) Mmm, he is cute.

Max: An hour ago he offered to bang me in the coat closet. I turned him down and told him that I was committed to you.

Caterer: (Smiles and shrugs)

Caroline: Oh Max, that's so sweet. I love you.

Max: I love you too. (They kiss)

Caroline: (Turns to the caterer) By the way, you're fired and you're not getting paid. Get out before I kick you in the balls so hard you wake up with three Adam's apples.

Max: (Picks her up in her arms) That's my girl!

Total: -$345.97

Author's note

If you enjoyed this or my other fan fiction stories, please review them so that I know what you did and did not like and can in the future provide you with better stories in the future. Also you may want to look up my books on Amazon under C.D. Overstreet or Clayton Overstreet.

In the meantime I have a public service announcement.

Recently television history was made when Nickelodeon aired the season finale of The Legend of Korra, a kid's show that ended with two girls becoming a couple and walking off hand in hand at the end. This event is comparable to when Kirk kissed Ohura on Star Trek. Naturally there was an uproar as people claimed that the show was subversive and trying to turn young girls gay. This got me thinking about this old argument and I realized something that many of instinctively know, but that few people have ever put into words. So I want to explain this to everyone's satisfaction.

Yes, television shows can turn people gay.

No, it doesn't have to do with characters who act gay in the show.

When she came out on her sitcom Ellen did an episode where she ran into an old boyfriend and told him she was gay. He asked her if he had turned her gay and her response was, "Not unless you played Catwoman in the old Batman TV series."

Was Catwoman gay? Certainly not in the show. What she was, was a hot woman in a skin tight outfit who purred at people and carried a whip.

You see what it is about television that turns people gay is not gay characters, but attractive characters. Beautiful men and women, either live action or cartoon characters who inspire lust in those who watch them. Admittedly them having a gay or lesbian relationship might be a nice addition for those who enjoy that sort of thing, but it is not important to whether a character is lusted after by a viewer. All that matters is that the person watching finds themselves attracted to the person on TV.

If Caroline and Max do ever end up as a couple and girls watching the show turn gay, it will not be because the two of them are dating. It will be because one is a cute blond and the other is a sexy brunet and the girls watching want to kiss either one. Both of them being together is just gravy. There are fans who have been writing these fics and drawing art of the two of them since the show aired, even as they dated guys. Did anyone care that they were apparently straight? No. The fans scanned every episode, looking for the slightest hint that they were attracted to each other from day one.

Implying that them turning gay might turn the girls who watch the show that way is ridiculous and no more likely than when you saw such a thing for the first time.