I should be shot, hung, drawn and quartered. I'm so very sorry this update took so long. Life became a tempting and flighty distraction.

- Sorry about all my typos too. In this one and the others...my typing skills are all over the place. Review, please? Kthnx.

"Oh, Evans!" said Sirius, in a rather singsong voice, "I believe we have something to talk about."

The 'Evans' in question did not look best pleases with this announcement, her face a mingled mask of fury and discontent. Fury at being distracted from her precious charms essay, discontent at the very idea of being in close contact with Mr. Black. Her expression was nothing, mind you, when compared to the shock and horror lacing James's features. ...and when Lily stood up to join Sirius, many witnesses swore they saw James' jaw literally hit the ground. Few, however, noticed Remus Lupin, (who was of course sitting beside him), grip James's shoulder as if to prevent him from attacking Sirius on the spot. Naturally, James then decided it might be better to leave Sirius be. ...well, all that werewolf strength technically made the decision for him, but never mind.

James's mind was racing. After all, just yesterday Lily wanted to talk to Remus privately and today, today she willingly, (albeit grudgingly), followed Sirius to a secluded corner of the common room.

Elsewhere, as in, directly across the room, Lily was badgering Sirius for, as she put it, 'publicly accosting and destroying her.'

"Destroy you!" Sirius smirked, "how did I destroy you? If anything I gave your reputation a well needed boost."

"Just get on with it, Black."

"Now, now call me Sirius, once Moony and I wed we'll be brothers in law and such rudeness will not be tolerated."

"That doesn't even make sense."

"Minor details, my dear. Nothing to worry your pretty little head about."

"Patronise me again and I'll kiss you right now. In front of James, Remus, James, the entire common room, James..." said Lily, warningly.

"Prongs was right, you are feisty."

"I'm not kidding around, Black. No doubt Remus has told you how I threw myself at him. Don't think I wouldn't do the same to you, regardless of how nauseous it will make me."

"You – threw – yourself," Sirius said, exaggerating every word, "at – my – Remus?"

"He's not your possession, Black. But yes, I did," Lily said fiercely, but with a gentle pink twinge raising to her cheeks.

"Oh he's mine Lily, ALL MINE. So don't be getting any ideas. I know what you redheads are like!" teased Sirius and then laughing, he said, "I can't believe you threw yourself at Remus! I remember the first time I threw myself at him as if it were yesterday. Granted, I did throw myself at him yesterday too. He's just so –throw self at able-, isn't he?"

"Sirius."

"And he tastes so good, right?"

"Sirius!"

"Awh, ickle wee-miss Evans has a widdle crwush on the wee wolfy! ...wait. You just called me Sirius. Twice. ...this is a weird feeling. I mean if that's what you saying my name does for me, imagine what James would be like if you actually called him something other then Potter. Actually no, I digress. You called him scum in defence, last week. He's been raving about it for days...I'll never understand that boy."

"If you don't stop rambling, I'm going, Black. So just say what you wanted to say."

"Fine, fine. But you're not very patient, are you? I was just making conversation."

In response, Lily just rolled her eyes in irritation. Sirius, noticing and welcoming this annoyance just grinned and said, "so."

"So what?" seethed Lily.

"So, you know a little secret of mine and my beaus."

"Can't you be serious for once?"

"I'm always Sirius."

"I should've expected that. Ugh, I'm remembering why you always get on my nerves."

"Really? How quaint! It's the jealousy, I suppose."

"Jealousy!" Lily snorted, incredulously, "whatever reason would I have to be jealous of you."

"I've seen Remus naked."

"That's it!" Lily spluttered, "I'm not listening to this rubbish anymore. And just so you know, I think Remus has terrible taste in guys."

"Me too," nodded Sirius, "his first boyfriend, Longbottom, was a complete twat."

"Frank! But he's going out with Alice!"

"I never did understand bisexuals."

"You're joking, ...right?"

"No, really. I just don't get them. I mean, I'm gay. I'm attracted to the same sex, straighties go for the opposite sex. That I can comprehend. But be-"

"I meant about Frank!" interrupted Lily, "he wasn't really Remus's boyfriend, was he?"

"Would this face lie to you?"

"Yes."

"Good point."

Lily sighed. And as per usual, Sirius grinned. With his grey eyes wide with a mischievous glint and his mouth pointed, - again, wide, his teeth bared and his tongue resting on the roof of his mouth. It was a look, people could rarely carry off. Sirius managed to suavely look both demented and haughtily handsome, naturally.

"Look, Sirius. Just say what you wanted to say in the first place. Please?" Lily placated.

Sirius dropped his smile and feigned both caution and nerves, (though if you looked carefully enough, you could see a hint of a smirk marring his innocent façade). "Don't tell anyone, Lily. I don't want people to find out – not just yet. Okay?"

"I wasn't going to breathe a word. I promised Remus that I -"

"I know, I know. I just wanted to ask you for myself. I mean after all, it's just you, me and Remus that know."

"Right."

"Nobody else. Not even, James."

"About that," said Lily, not even noticing Sirius's unsubtle mention and stressing of 'James', "I think you should tell him."

"Why?"

"He's one of your best friends."

"And?"

"He has a right to know!"

"How?"

"Because he's one of your best friends!"

"Now, Lily dearest, that has nothing to do with anything. When you think about it, I should be pissed at him for not noticing something's going on. This may well be the most important thing in my life right now and he isn't observant enough to notice it."

Lily paused, "...oh, Merlin. In some bizarre, insane way, that...well, it kind of made sense to me."

"Evans don't kid about such things. We don't need to tempt faith, with our luck we've probably caused the next apocalypse. It's be raining cats and dogs soon...well, kneazles and grims, anyways."

"We were almost having a proper conversation there. Did you have to ruin it."

"Yes," Sirius smirked.

"I guess you're a lost cause then."

"I guess, but let's get back on topic, shall we?"

"Sure," sighed Lily.

"Now, where were we? Oh, yes! James – me no tell tell." said Sirius, taking it in turn to act out pointing at James, pounding his fist into his chest, wagging his finger and miming talking with his hand.

"He's going to find out sooner or later," said Lily, ignoring his actions.

"Preferably later."

"And he's rather you tell him then finding out at Professor Slughorns Christmas part after you too have a bit too much fun with the mistletoe."

"Why Slughorns party?"

"Random example."

"Like...what?"

"You're just brimmed full of ideas under all that hair, aren't you?"

"What idea!" snarled Lily.

"The one where James finds me and Moony snogging at Slughorns, of course."

"Not a chance. You can't let him find out that way!"

"And, why ever not?"

"It's not fair to him!" And Remus would never go for something like that."

"You think? I've gotta tell you, I have that Remus whipped...literally," winked Sirius, lecherously, "he'll do whatever I tell him to do and he'll damn well like it too!"

"Remus is not like that."

"I think you'll find he is...especially when I threaten no sex for a wekk."

"Oh, whatever Sirius. You still have to tell Ja-Potter."

"You almost said James! He's be so happy...can't I just tell him that instead?"

"You have to tell him."

"No – I – don't."

"You do."

"I don't. I'm not to be held accountable for the fact that he's a complete dolt and hasn't noticed yet! – haven't we been through this already? He should be able to figure out something's going on between his two best friends."

"How would you expect him to figure that out!"

"Well, Lily. We are roommates. And Remus and I, well...we are teenage boys, we do act on our urges. Wouldn't you be able to figure out what's going on behind closed curtains?"

"It's not his fault that he's unobservant."

"Unobservant! We've been shagging behind his back for over a year now and he hasn't suspected a thing! ...and why are you suddenly defending the boy?"

"You can't blame him for that Sirius."

"Watch me."

"He will find out, eventually. And it's better for you to tell him, then for him to find out for himself."

"He'll never find out. HE – IS – A – DOLT."

"Oh, he'll find out."

"He won't."

"He will!"

"Won't!"

"Stop being such child! He will!"

"...I wouldn't bet on it."

"Well I would."

"Really now?" smirked Sirius, "...and what would you care to wager?"

"We're not betting, Black."

"Going back on your word, Evans?"

"No."

"Then what do you care to wager?"

"Fine," snapped Lily, in a grating voice, "if Potter figures it out before...before Slughorns party, you have to..." Lily smirked, "you have to play nice with Severus. And I mean play nice. You have to talk with him, be polite...offer to carry things for him, etc, etc."

"Hah!"

"Take it or leave it, Sirius."

"Fine. I'll take it, but if he doesn't figure it out, you have to ask him to go to Hogsmeade with you. As in, on a date."

"Urrrrrggh! Deal!" said Lily, growling slightly.

"And no funny business, missus. You can't tell him yourself."

"I won't."

"And you can't show him using creative stick-men drawings, either."

"I definitely won't."

"Good. So I guess we're done here."

"Finally."

"You adore me really, Ms. Evans."

"Goodbye, Sirius," said Lily, smiling gently.

"Goodbye, Lily," Sirius said, then turning to look at Remus he whistled, "You there! Upstairs, we need to talk."

And with that Sirius began bounding up the stairs to the dormitories with Remus following closely on his heels. Lily was already lost in the clutches of a group of giggling girls, anxious to find out what Sirius Black could possibly want with her. James was still seated in the same position, however, he has a smile now growing on his face.

"You know," he said, grinning to a nearby Peter, "I reckon they're setting up a date for me and Lily."