Chapter 2 – Forced To Turn
"But I don't care!"
"Well I do, I'm too old, to poor and to dangerous to have a relationship with, how many times have I told you that?" Said an exasperated Lupin.
"And I've already told you, I don't care about any of that!" Tonks fumed, frustrated.
"What if I said I didn't feel the same way, would you then let it go?"
"So you don't feel the same way" Tonks raised one of her eyebrows staring at him contently. Her feelings swirling and inside her head a storm was beginning to cloud her mind.
"No I don't "Lupin said forcefully, trying to stare her in the eye without flinching. "I don't fell the same way toward you, now could you please drop it!"
Tonks took several steps away from him as though she had been stung. A mingled look of hurt and confusion was clearly printed on her face. Remus surprised at the word's he had said, took a step toward her and opened his mouth to say something.
"I'm sor-"
"No, I understand" she said retreating further away from him toward the door.
"Nymphad-"
"Don't... call…me… Nymphadora" she said slowly and barely at a whisper glaring at him coldly. Her hair was now a deep chocolate brown at a short spiky length. Remus felt his heart had been pierced, he then realized he had gone too far. But what he had to do he had to do. He hung his head while Tonks raced out the door and up the stairs. Tears gleamed in her eyes, reflecting the hurt, pain and confusion that had just left its scars. Dashing up the stairs and slamming the front door behind her. Only a faint snap could be heard as she disaperated.
Inside Remus let a single tear slide down his cheek, before he hastily wiped it off as Sirius walked into the kitchen of Grimmuald place, asking what had happened to Tonks.
With a small start Lupin sat up in bed rubbing his temples and replayed the dream he had just had. He felt a sense of guilt and loneliness sweep over him. He knew somewhere deep down inside he did have feelings for Tonks, it was probably buried under all the responsibility and duty he had not to hurt or bring harm to anybody.
"She probably thinks I'm a coward who's to afraid to face his own fears" he thought as he slumped heavily onto his bed, which sank a little bit. He knew what he had said to
Nymphadora wasn't true, he did have feelings and he wanted her to understand why he couldn't be with her and how it was so difficult to let go of her when he was practically thinking of her every day. She was haunting him mentally in his mind, and it was either going to land him a bed in St. Mungoes or going to kill him of little bit by little bit.
But letting her go was just something he had to do, even if it did kill him, he would die one day anyway. Deciding he would just try to ignore the thoughts he was having of Tonks and talk to Sirius in the morning, he closed his swollen eyes and fell into an uncomfortable sleep full of images of his Nymphadora Tonks.