A/N: Ayyyy, what's up? So yeah you guys were ridiculously responsive. MY GOD. Like seriously, I was given a lot of love from you guys in the shape of reviews/favs/follows etc. IT WAS LEGEN - wait for it - DARY. Superbly happy. I would like to reply to all of you but...some of you are guest so I can't ;^;. But thank you very much sweet guest people who left reviews. Anyways, I hope you like this. It's longer than the last one. So...sorry if you're feeling a little overwhelmed.

Disclaimer: I don't own Tsu-chan, therefore by the transitive property, I don't own KHR!

Chapter 2

...

He was dreaming. He was totally, absolutely dreaming and he would wake up and everything would be exactly the same as it was.

"Stay away from the tenth, you pervert rabbit!"

"Aww, but Goku-chan, you're more of a pervert for clinging to Tsu-chan in such a way ne? So scandalous~."

"Fuck you!"

"Shut the fuck up, scum."

"Hey come on guys, let's all just try to get along, yeah?"

"Oya? Look, foolish dog, you made the skylark angry."

SMACK.

"Ow, damn it! Fuck you, cat-bastard!"

"P-please stop fighting…"

Those were just dream voices. Yeah, they were all in his head and he would wake up and everything would be just fine.

"Kufufufu, is that all you can do skylark?"

SMACK

"Ow! T-that's my face Hibari-san…"

"Hey, c'mon we're amongst friends here, yeah?"

If he ignored it long enough, maybe it would go away…

"You broke the tenth's fucking clock again you stupid rabbit bastard!"

"Scum, shut up already."

"Oh no, Xanxan is angry~"

When he forced himself to open his eyes, he found himself in his own room. If not for the loud voices, he would have assumed it had all been a dream. His clothes had gotten a little rumpled and checking the time, he let out a breath in relief to see that he had not been asleep for long. 8:00 AM. Class started in an hour, so he was actually lucky (He would eat those words later). He wondered if one of the men - pets — ugh this was confusing… had carried him in. He wondered as to why they weren't in here as he expected them to be.

He felt a fit of giggles threatening to overtake him. His pets had turned into humans. Against all odds, this somehow happened. Seriously, did he piss off some otherworldly deity when he was born or something? Of course this kind of insane, almost impossible situation would happen to him!

Running a hand through his hair, he managed to calm himself down and look around his room. Nothing had been moved, hell it seemed that he was just dropped here and then they left. It felt…oddly lonely. He meant, he was kind of used to it when they were animals — god this was going to be so confusing — usually stayed with him. Guess they didn't want to stick around. Now that they could walk and talk, how much were things going to change? He had to pay for not one person and seven pets, but seven fully grown men. There was no way he would be able to pay for that! …With just his salary… He bit his lip. No way. No way was he going to…him.

B-But if he couldn't support them, where would they go? What if they decided they didn't need such a useless owner and left on their own? They were probably going to have a better chance at not failing at life like he was now.

No way would they stick with him now…

The thought made him feel slightly sick. Suddenly he was terrified of going out and he couldn't help but wonder if perhaps it'd be better to call in sick rather than go to school — if at least to avoid what was waiting for him outside. God, he was such a coward. Just as he was about to reach for the phone, he lightly slapped his cheeks. You're better than this! You're not going to stoop this low! You can do it!

Yeah, keep telling yourself that. Fake it till you make it, right?

After a few more minutes of panicked breathing and pacing, he found the courage to push open the door. He walked slowly, tiptoeing down the corridor as the voices got louder. He peeked around the corner to see them all sitting at the table. Upon closer examination, he found that they did remind him of his pets, and not including the most painfully obvious animal ears. No, even their mannerisms seemed similar. Byakuran was pigging out, although on cereal instead of marshmallows, Mukuro was bothering Hibari, who was trying to stay away but couldn't climb up the rafters to do so. Gokudera was yelling at Yamamoto, who was smiling through it all as if it were normal conversation. Xanxus was glowering at the everyone and Enma…poor thing was sitting in the corner trying to become one with the wall. Much to his annoyance, it seemed that everyone (hell even Enma, who was practically an itty bitty kitten before) was taller than him and were all wearing very expensive looking black suits.

Ah, looking down he felt horribly underdressed in his rumpled uniform. The beige blazer and trousers probably needed to be ironed again, and his tie and shirt could get some starching too…

"Tsu-chan? What are you doing all by your lonesome?" His head snapped up and he screeched at the close proximity the white rabbit was to his face. He backpedaled quickly, covering his face out of reflex. "Aw, did I scare you, Tsu-chan?"

'No shit!' he yelled in his head, but of course Tsuna was a polite little one and said nothing of the sort. Coming to his rescue was Gokudera, barking- er - scolding the white rabbit before him.

"Asshole, what the fuck do you think you're doing to the Tenth?" he screeched, before shoving past the rabbit and, with surprising gentleness, pulled the brunet onto his feet.

"Oh, no, I'm okay, Gokudera — just a little surprised. U-um, sorry Byakuran," he said meekly, bowing his head in embarrassment.

"There's no need to apologize to that poor excuse for a rabbit, Tsunayoshi," a deep voice said. Looking up, he saw Mukuro, leaning on the counter and looking in his general direction.

"Aw, that's so mean, pineapple-chan," Byakuran said, smiling serenely and emanating an aura of deep discontent. Trying to break the tension, Yamamoto walked over and threw an arm around the student and smiled warmly.

"But in other words, we should be the sorry ones Tsuna. We kind of - uh -" he rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. Looking past his Shiba Inu's shoulder, he saw that his poor dinner table was somehow reduced to mere splinters. Oh god. Reborn was going to kill him. It didn't matter if he wasn't here to see it. That man would find out somehow and murder him.

"Not 'we'" Gokudera hissed, "It was him!" and he pointed his finger dramatically at the scarred Doberman, looking at them all imperiously from his chair. The man, seeing Tsuna look at him, widened his eyes for a fraction of a second before turning away and huffing something along the lines of "scum".

"Now that's not very nice, Xanxus!" Yamamoto said cheerfully.

Byakuran decided to join in on the teasing, "Ora? How dare you call Tsu-chan that when you were the one that broke his table hmmm Xanxan?"

The Doberman glared at the angora, "Shut the hell up before I tear you to pieces, trash," he growled, intimidating Tsuna enough to hide behind Gokudera, who was more than willing to protect his precious 'tenth'. Whatever that meant…

"Hey, c'mon guys let's just get along!" Yamamoto said, still smiling despite the tension in the room.

"Yeah, stop fucking around in the tenth's home you bastards!" Not helping Gokudera, not helping…

Mukuro rolled his eyes at the dog, "Oya, a dog is trying to order us all around? What has this world come to?" he directed this last question at little Enma, who was still trying to sink into the floor. At the question, he quietly nodded his head, probably not really paying attention to the question and flinched when Gokudera growled at him.

The silver-haired man, stepped forward, rolling up his sleeves and eye twitching in anger, "That's it, pineapple I don't care who you are! I'm going to throw you off the damn balcony!"

Mukuro was completely unfazed, "Kufufu, I'd like to see you try, ugly mutt."

Completely forgetting Tsuna, Gokudera charged forward, but was held back by a still-smiling (really?) Yamamoto. Mukuro just kept adding fuel to the fire whilst Byakuran and Xanxus engaged in a silent staring war between each other. Hibari…now that he thought about it where was Hibari?

"U-um guys…please stop fighting…" he said, trying to raise his voice over the noise.

"Calm down now Gokudera, we're all-"

"Like hell any of us here are friends baseball freak! So let me the fuck go!"

"Hm, as I suspected. The mutt's all bark but no bite — how disappointing," the harlequin rabbit said, leering at the furious Kai Ken.

"Aw, Xanxan, that's my cereal. If you want to share I'd be more than willing," Byakuran said, although the look on his face completely negated everything he said.

The scarred man was unfazed, "Keep your bullshit out of my face, scum, and go back to the trash heap where you belong."

"Isn't that what I should be saying to you?"

Aaaand no one was listening. Why did he expect anything different? So he sat down, trying to give his brain a break from the obvious strain it was going through. He nearly jumped when Enma sat down besides him on the couch. "O-oh! E-Enma-kun…right?" The cat nodded, his ears flattening against his head.

"I'm sorry, we would have — we would have explained the moment you woke up, but we were scared to go into your room after you yelled at us last night…" he said shyly, tucking his legs and curling up into a ball. Them? Scared? Surprising as that was, somehow it felt somewhat predictable for his…animals — er, you get what he meant.

In a way it was kind of endearing. If you ignore the yelling that probably came with it.

"O-oh well…that's fine! R-really!" he said quickly, seeing as how the poor thing had flattened his ears and was…well, twitching and trying to sink into the couch. For a while they sat there in an uncomfortable silence when Tsuna heard something…or someone growl. It was coming from someone's stomach to be precise. It was coming from seven — six, Hibari seemed to have vacated the room at one point — stomachs to be nitpicky about it.

….

"Um, I guess you guys haven't gotten breakfast yet huh?"

The looks they all gave him made him feel like nothing had changed. Not a single bit.

…

…

…

Tsunayoshi swore up and down that mankind's greatest invention was neither the car nor the internet. It was his toaster. It was fast, it could cook several at a time, and it helped quiet down the rambunctious people now living in his humble home. Of course, being young, single and very much alone, he only bought enough for one human and seven assorted animals.

He was forced to give them all (and it was very much embarrassing to him) toast. He turned on the TV and settled on the couch, seeing as how his precious dining table was utterly annihilated. Now, this probably would have been a very comfortable arrangement, would have been a very comfortable morning had things not been awry and his pets were pets and not fully grown men who thought they were still pets and that this was somehow okay.

"G-guys…are you really sure you're comfortable like this?" he said, slightly twitching. He didn't have the will to yell at them to all get off. That was a little too…

Various mutters of agreement wandered around the room and Tsuna wanted to scream. And wail. And complain. This was most definitely not comfortable. At the moment, it seemed that everyone thought they were animals and could therefore continue on with the usual seating arrangements. Mukuro had decided to lay his head in Tsuna's lap, laying down to his right, while Gokudera snuggled up to him on his left. To the right, Byakuran was assigned to sit on the seat's back — much like Hibari who seemed to have appeared out of nowhere with a piece of toast in his mouth. Yamamoto decided to sit at his feet with Enma while Xanxus basically stood up, leaning on the couch's armrest. All in all, it was not the cushiest of arrangements.

They were watching the news, who were currently talking about some person or other that had been murdered in the area. Of course, the pets didn't really care but Tsuna couldn't help but get even more nervous than usual.

The perpetrator has yet to be found…Officials believe that this may be a result of gang activities and urge citizens to stay in their homes at night and avoid suspicious areas and moving alone…

"E-eeep!" Tsuna shrieked as Mukuro turned his head, wrapping his arms around the little brunet's waist and effectively hugging him tightly by the stomach.

"Don't worry, Tsunayoshi, we'll protect you," he said easily, as if he were talking about taking out the trash instead of probably dangerous murderers.

At the same time, Gokudera immediately latched onto Tsuna, refusing to be beaten, "More like I'll protect you, tenth! You — get your damn hands off of the tenth!" he barked. Of course, the harlequin rabbit didn't listen, only so much as twitched his ears before hugging onto the young owner tighter. Of course, as if this were a competition, Gokudera began clamping down on little Tsuna as well.

"Looks like fun, I wanna join in!" Byakura cooed. If Tsuna had looked, he would have seen the possessive look in the angora's eyes as he wrapped an arm around his neck and leaned down to rest his head on the brunet's.

"Oh, is this a game?" Yamamoto asked, before putting an arm around one of the brunet's legs. "I guess I'll join in too!" He sounded innocent enough, but Tsuna shivered when the Shiba Inu started running his hand up and down his leg. T-that… Enma seemed to have joined in too. Bad touch - V-very bad touch-!

"P-please stop doing that-!"

Something hard smacked the white angora off of the student's head. "E-eep!" he squeaked, covering his head with his hands in fear of the offending object hitting him. Looking up he saw that Byakuran had been completely knocked off the chair and was on the ground. A tonfa had been raised right above his head. And that tonfa happened to belong to none other than his very scary, and very temperamental chartreux. "H-Hibari i-it's not good to fight-!"

Any dignity he had as a man (psh, that label's a stretch for you Mr. Tuna) must have disappeared by the amount of shrieking he had done today. Hibari decided that he wanted the little brunet as a headrest instead and occupied the space where Byakuran once had. Poor rabbit…

"Good riddance," he heard his Kai Ken mutter before barking at everyone else, "Now get the hell off!"

"Maybe you should let go first, Mr. Hypocrite," Mukuro quipped.

Yamamoto followed up on that, "No can do, Gokudera, or I'll lose the game!"

The channel, having switched to commercials about dog leashes, Xanxus growled and glared at Tsuna like he was the sole creator of the bane of the dog's existence. The poor young man of course, flinched. But in reality, Xanxus wasn't so much as angry at his owner as he was for the little human letting scum cling to his clothes. He would not sink so low as to join in that fuck fest (that's the biggest lie if I've ever heard one).

"U-Um, guys this is a little —" he jumped when the white rabbit recovered and wrapped his arms around the brunet's neck. Any tighter and he would be in a chokehold. The room was suffocating. Tsuna's infamous self-preservation instincts kicked in. "I-I-I-…I'M LATE!" he suddenly screamed, miraculously throwing off all six of them and speeding out the door. "I-I'm sorry guys, I've gotta go!" he yelped, grabbing his bag and tripping on his way out to the door. Some of them, namely Hibari and Byakuran, fell over and were currently giving everyone else death glares.

"Bye guys, I'll be back!" And without even looking back, he slammed the door and locked it shut. He was tempted to slide down to the floor and stay there. That was…terrifying. And perhaps it was a little careless of him to leave so quickly like that but…but he just needed space to breathe, which they did not seem to want to give him.

So scary…

But now that he was out of his apartment, at the very least he could put the problem off of his mind until he was done with school.

Checking his clock, he wasn't really that late. He had fifteen minutes left, plenty of time to walk down there, but the excuse had always managed to get the animals moving and conceding. …Except they weren't animals anymore and could potentially cause a lot more damage than before.

He shook his head, and resolutely moved to the elevator door. He was not looking back and he would not worry about this right when he had a test coming up.

Besides — what could possibly go wrong?

...

...

"Oi, Sawada!" The young brunet, who had been speeding towards the school gates, broke his gaze with the sidewalk and looked up to see Ryohei, his boss' enthusiastic older brother and famous ex-boxer, waving at him.

"O-oh, good morning, onii-san!" he said, running over to his boss' older brother. "What are you doing here, I thought you were out of the country for a job?"

"I got back early! So, go join the boxing club, Sawada! Your cuteness as a mascot would draw in members to the EXTREME!" he yelled, throwing his fists into the air.

Tsuna flinched and turned red. "Onii-san…I'm not really cute, and the boxing club disbanded already," he sighed. Four years ago in fact, when Ryohei had left and the members refused to keep up with their passionate ex-captain's spartan routine.

"And that's why we need you to bring members back! Have more confidence, Sawada, you're cute to the EXTREME!" he yelled without one ounce of shame. Tsuna supposed he should have accepted the compliment graciously as such things were far and few in-between, but it was hard to take this without keenly feeling the degradation of his manhood.

"Well, I gotta go…" he said tiredly, edging away from the man, "I left the animals by themselves and I really, really need to go check on them. N-nice seeing you, onii-san!"

The ex-boxer seemed to ponder for this for a second. Then he declared, while punching a strong left at an invisible opponent, "I'll extremely walk you there then!"

Tsuna nodded absently, "Oh, that's nic— wait what?"

The enthusiastic ex-boxer repeated it, "I'll take you home, Sawada!" That could be taken wrong in so many ways. "It's dangerous for someone like you to be walking alone by yourself!"

The young man couldn't say no fast enough. "No! I-I mean — I don't really need it, I'll be fine so you don't have to go out of your way-"

"Nonsense Sawada! Let's go, to the extreme!" He grabbed the little brunet's hand and much to the little one's dismay, dragged him away.

Poor Tsuna couldn't seem to get a break today. He couldn't focus on his test at all, worrying here and there about his…his friends at home and he was terrified that he would come home and they'd either be gone or hurt from playing around the apartment. He got tripped again and a nasty bruise was forming on his wrist. He hoped that he hadn't sprained it. He needed to work today and he needed that paycheck if he wanted to even hope to get through the week with his new guests.

He was by no means, kicking any of them out. Changed they may be, they were still…they were still his friends and he would protect and care for them as best as he could. At least for as long as they would be able to stand him. And well, he needed the extra time between his shift at the animal shelter to look for a second job.

The poor young brunet was not having a good day. And this day was quickly reaching the status of living-in-infamy-for-being-so-damn-bad because now Ryohei, despite Tsuna pretending to be hurt and distracted and practically digging his heels into the ground, the ex-boxer was resolutely dragging him back to his apartment. No, no, no, no, he did not need Ryohei to find out what the hell happened at his apartment. He knew the man probably wouldn't do anything bad, but he wasn't exactly the best at keeping secrets. The moment word got out he was awfully frightened that someone would come to take them away.

Hey, Tsuna may be useless and painfully dense, but he's not completely stupid. Half human and half animal hybrids? That's a recipe for experiments and crazies which Tsuna definitely does not need thank you very much.

So what do you do when there's an extremely persistent EXTREME ex-boxer that wants to take you home and you can't let him go with you because he'll see and scream to the world about the seven handsome and half-animal hybrid men in your apartment?

Do every possible activity that you pass by on your way there.

"I —- uh — I just remembered I need to go grocery shopping!"

"It's been getting cold, so why don't we go buy some sweater, right onii-san?"

"I'm hungry, aren't you?"

"Oh look, it's the park! U-um, the kids look like they need help with that castle in the sandbox, why don't you help them?"

They ended up shaving away the day's hours, leaving him barely any time to get away because it seemed Ryohei was very insistent on spending time with him today. He tried, several times, to lose the man. But every time he was about to leave, the overly-enthusiastic 'brother' would run up and give chase.

"It's okay, let me carry those for you Sawada!"

"Totally extreme sweater shopping!"

"Eat till I pass out to the extreme!"

"Oi, kids! Let's build a castle worthy of Muguruma* himself!"

Seriously, no matter how inane the request or how stupid it was he stuck around and did it with the younger man. He liked Ryohei, he really did. But the man was a bit…overbearing. By the time they were done and he was out of ideas, Tsuna had no choice but to return so he could see the ani- the people back at his apartment before they probably starved or bored themselves to death.

"U-um, onii-san the animals are a little temperamental and we're already in the building so I can go to my room-"

"But Sawada, the stairs are a very long walk! And you have so much stuff!" Ryohei exclaimed, gesturing to the many bags they were both carrying. Tsuna laughed embarrassedly.

"I'll take the elevator, I'll be fine…"

But the white-haired man puffed out his chest and said, "A manly, extreme man has to be able to take care things like this!"

As much as he - uh - enjoyed the man's company, he really, really didn't want to deal with this anymore. "I promise I'll-"

"What the hell is with all the scum mucking up down here?" Oh god. No. No. No. This could not be happening.

"Oh? Who's that?" he heard Ryohei murmur. Out of all his pets the one that had to find them, it was…

"X-Xanxus?" Tsuna stammered, dropping his things nervously, "W-what are you doing out here? I-I…I thought you were inside…" He tried to refer to his apartment as vaguely as possible but by the narrowing of the other''s eyes it was clear that Ryohei knew exactly what he was referring to. The worry lessened a bit, seeing as how the Doberman had had the good mind to wear a fedora over his head to hide the ears but…

Ignoring that question, Xanxus sauntered over to Tsuna's side, bluntly placing an arm around his waist and glared at the supposed 'stranger' intermingling with what was his. "Get the fuck out of here."

Tsuna railed against the hold, "W-what are you-?!"

"I will extremely not!" Ryohei stepped forward, not at all intimidated by the man before him and cracked his knuckles. "I'm Sasegawa Ryohei, extreme captain of the boxing club!" he yelled proudly. Even Xanxus twitched at the volume of his voice, although more out of irritation than out of surprise like Tsuna. He then stuck out a finger in the short brunet's face, "That's my otouto, and I have to make sure of something!"

Make sure of what? "W-wait, wait, wait, wait, I'm sure this is all a misunderstanding…right? Right?" his head swiveled between the two as he attempted to extricate himself from Xanxus' hold. "L-look, Ryohei can you tell Kyoko I'll be a little late? A-and X-Xanxus please just go upstairs and I'll be with you in a minute."

"A real man never backs down!" Ryohei spouted.

Xanxus growled, "Only trash runs away with his tail between his legs."

Tsuna flailed, trying to diffuse what felt to be a ticking time bomb.

"Oi, what's going on out there?!" A cranky looking man that seemed to be about in his mid forties came out, wearing a messy suit and trying his very best to appear intimidating and pompous before present company. The young student had hoped that perhaps the cranky doorman would save him from this situation with his…unpleasantness — to put it nicely. He gave poor Dame-Tsuna one disdainful look and opened his fat mouth to say-

Nothing.

Xanxus didn't even give him a chance. Picking up a can of carrots in one of Tsuna's bags, he threw it so hard that it left a sizable crater in the wall right next to the man's head.

He squealed like a pig and fell right on his rear. "Wha- What the…?"

"Get the fuck out of my sight, scum," the red-eyed man glowered, making the man squeak almost as high as Tsuna. And considering the young man's high pitch, especially when it came to surprise, that was pretty damn high.

The man, out of either stupidity or false bravado, protested, "H-How —- How dare you break my wall-!"

A single leek went flying over, stabbing the wall right above the man and just barely grazing the top of his bald head. Ryohei, with his terrifying fiery eyes said, "Don't interfere with a fight between men!" Once, shame on Xanxus, twice shame on the doorman. He couldn't run out of the room fast enough. Ah, if only Tsuna could get away so easily…

The ex-boxer immediately continued arguing, "You shouldn't throw Sawada's food!" Then it soon changed to, "That was great throw, you should join the boxing club!"

"Fuck no," the scarred man snapped, "Now get the hell out-"

"Super, extremely, extreme to the extreme, PUNCH!" The man yelled, as he shot a punch towards the red-eyed man.

"No!" Tsuna flung himself in front of Xanxus. Ryohei's eyes widened, Xanxus flinched, and things seemed to go into slow motion with everyone being unable to stop what was happening.

Tsuna closed his eyes, preparing for the worst, but opened them when he realized no punch came. Instead, there was a loud cracking sound. The scarred man behind him had caught the other's fist and judging from the blood dripping down, he had inextricably broken a few bones while he was at it. There was a tense silence, mainly out of shock that surprisingly came from all three parties. Almost immediately, Xanxus let go and Tsuna ran forward, grabbing the man's injured fist.

"Oh my god, onii-san — Xanxus, how could you?" he cried, looking back. The scarred dog was just as surprised, although he didn't really show it. He turned away, not willing to look the poor owner in the face. The small brunet turned around, freaking out over Ryohei. "Here, why don't you come in, I'll take care of it!" he offered. Because pets be damned this looked like it really, really hurt.

Instead Ryohei pulled away and — well — he laughed, smiling almost maniacally. Tsuna vaguely wondered if the hit had finally sent the passionate boxer off the edge. "No problem Sawada! This is great!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. Then he sidestepped the worried brunet and stepped up to the dark-haired man. Xanxus flashed back on his angry scowl, daring for the man to try again. Instead, the boxer stuck out his good hand and said, "Please take good care of Sawada! I'm glad he's found someone as strong as you! I was suspicious at first but you're a good guy, Xanxus!"

Wait…what?

The Doberman just looked so shocked…Tsuna was tempted to laugh at the utter ridiculousness at the situation. Now if only he had a camera. If it wouldn't been so undignified, Xanxus probably would have gaped at the crazy man waving his hand in front of him.

Seeing as how the man didn't answer, Ryohei took initiative and furiously shook his hand. Stepping closer, Tsuna noticed a very familiar fire lighting his eyes, "Join the boxing club!"

The young pet owner wanted to smash his head into the wall. That was what he was thinking about?! "O-Onii-san, why don't we treat your hand before we start getting too excited…"

"This is nothing, Sawada!" the man yelled, suddenly rounding on the small brunet, "I extremely broke my jaw and ankle but I extremely defeated my opponent with my head!" Of course, when he said that Tsuna immediately knew that the man meant it literally.

The ex-boxer then let go, before turning to the two of them, "You look good together, but next time tell me when you're out dating someone, Sawada!"

"W-we're not—" he spluttered, "We're friends!"

He gave Tsuna a ridiculously bright smile and gave him the thumbs up, "It's extremely good that you have someone around! Extreme goodbye Sawada, I have to go see my wife before she extremely kills me!" For a second, the enthusiastic man's eyes flashed to show a dark side that Tsuna hadn't even known existed, "A real man doesn't let his wife (hey!) walk alone, especially when it's dangerous! Take better care of him!"

Xanxus bared his teeth, "You don't think I know that, scum? The dumb ass just loves to run off where I can't see him," his eyes were practically steaming and Tsuna squeaked. "Just go the fuck away you fucking nutcase," he practically commanded, looking down at the other as if he were a particularly annoying bug he wanted to squash but couldn't.

The man laughed loudly, to the point where it was almost obnoxious, "See ya Sawada — OHHH!" He stopped his odd jog in place to whirl around, "Kyoko extremely told me to tell you that you don't have to come by today! Paid day-off too because things are good she said!"

"E-eh? What's the occasion?" Because as much as he felt guilty for saying it, he really, really wanted to go down and help and just be….well away from home for a bit. J-just to clear his head!

The boxer pondered the question for a moment, "I extremely don't remember! I'll get it eventually. Practice extreme safe sex, Sawada!" Before a blushing Tsuna could continue denying that they were not like that and would not extremely practice safe sex, the man sped off. Jesus, Ryohei should have been in the Olympics the way he ran. Hell, he would win every single gold, that much the brunet was sure.

It took a moment for Tsuna to realize he was alone. With Xanxus. With Xanxus. The very, scary Doberman who he couldn't seem to get a read on now that the dog was human. Shit.

"Oi," Tsuna squeaked when a gravelly voice spoke right next to his ear. Apparently, the red-eyed man had no sense of space either as he was practically leaning onto the petite brunet. "Who the hell was that?" The tone was flat, but the underlying threat of pain was prevalent if the young man answered wrong.

"Ryohei-san is just—Eep!" He found himself getting whirled around, with Xanxus holding him possessively around the waist and being pulled flush against him.

"Just what?" he hissed, leaning till their faces were only a few inches apart.

And the funniest thing happened. Instead of feeling terrified as he inevitably should, little, timid Tsunayoshi began to grow irritated. "He's just a friend — like an overenthusiastic big brother!" the boy said carefully. It was probably a bad idea, but he ended up adding, "Why does it even matter who I talk to?" Why did this situation feel so familiar to him? They always said that your worst memories tend to pop up when you least expect them.

But thankfully, the Doberman stepped away, allowing the young student some breathing room. "Because you'd bring a rabid dog home with you if I wasn't watching, you fucking idiot," he sighed, almost exasperated, mostly angry. It was hard to tell the difference as the man seemed perpetually angry.

Tsuna puffed up in indignation, "I would not!" Xanxus snorted disbelievingly. "I mean it!"

"Whatever, dumb ass," he said, again with that exasperated angry tone. He looked around the lobby, seeing the numerous bags around the room. "Why the fuck did get so much shit?"

"Oh? Um…well it's for you guys!" he said, pulling up one of the bags and producing a few shirts. "You guys probably need a change of clothes and…well none of my clothes will fit." Ryohei had been giving him weird looks when he got clothes several sizes bigger, but he automatically seemed to think that because Tsuna would most surely join the boxing club, he would bulk up in no time. 'It's good to be prepared, Sawada!' He snapped out of his odd thoughts when he saw Xanxus pick up everything. Literally everything. And seeing as how there was enough food and clothes for eight people, that was a whole damn lot. "W-wait, what are you doing?"

He threw a few bags over his shoulder, looking over him as if he were stupid, "Carrying your shit, dumb ass."

"B-but-!" the petite boy protested.

"Do you think I'm weak like trash that can't carry shit?" he glowered.

Tsuna 'eeped' at the look, but being young and again — stupid, he pressed on, "But it's a lot and I want to help too…You're my —" Xanxus looked at him expectantly, ears perking up under his hat, "-my friend and guest." His ears deflated and he huffed. "So we should share the work together!"

The man ignored him, not even looking like he had heard the brunet's voice, "W-wait, please just let me-!"

Ugh, did his stupid owner really not get anything? Why did he choose to stick around such a weakling? He looked back, seeing the sweet little thing, look up at him with bright eyes. In particular, Xanxus' eyes zeroed in on the wrist with the odd bandage on it. He always came back from stupid school like that. Tsunayoshi was a stupid fucking idiot. But he was his stupid fucking idiot. "You've done enough, dumb ass, go make me a sandwich or something…" he muttered, turning away slightly red from being the center of attention of those pretty honeyed eyes.

When he tried to protest again, Xanxus snapped, "J-Just shut up and let me do it, shit head! Are you fucking deaf or something, dumb ass?" He sped off towards the elevator.

Xanxus flinched when Tsuna grabbed his arm, soft hands delicately holding it as if he were a precious gem and not a ragged dog. He dared to glance at the owner. He was still pouting — which fuck was so damn kawaii it should be illegal — but he had a more resigned air about him. "Next time —" bright eyes lit with an odd sort of resolution. God it was such a simple thing and yet he was being so damn stubborn… "Next time we'll do it together. I'm not…well, I'm weak but I want to help too, okay?"

Whatever resolve the Doberman had to say 'no' crumbled at the other's face. "Fine," he snapped angrily, turning away. He felt oddly giddy and he knew that if he stared any more he would probably be smiling like a fool. Him, smiling? Blasphemy.

But as much as he would deny it, when sweet little Tsunayoshi flashed his most beautiful smile at him, Xanxus could not hold back shy, small one of his own. But of course, Tsunayoshi himself didn't see it so whatever evidence you have against him is totally and utterly invalid.

Stop laughing, scum!

...

...

Ryohei came running back home, pumped as ever. That Xanxus guy was superb. Strong to the extreme! Now if only he could persuade the man to join the boxing club…

"Idiot, you're late!" A dark-haired woman stood at the doorway, wearing her usual dark business attire and a terrifying scowl.

"Hana!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. He ran at her, but she kicked him in the gut before he could hug her.

"Idiot, you're late! Don't you know what day it is today?" she growled and the boxer flinched.

But as a man, he would not let himself be cowed, "I extremely forgot!" Hana face palmed. But at the very least he had been honest with her. Painfully and stupidly honest, but finding a man as candid as Ryohei was a hard find.

"Ugh — you — it's my birthday, you dummy," she sighed. "Should have known you'd forget, always living to the extreme right?"

A look of dawning overtook the white-haired man's face. The woman couldn't help but break out into a grin. He just looked so…so stupid. Eyes bulging and mouth practically dropping to the floor. But then, he rummaged through the back of his pocket and pulled out a small black box. It was her turn to gape, "W-what?"

"Happy anniversary, Hana!" he exclaimed for all the world to hear as he pulled out a box with a most precious necklace inside. She had been subtly eyeing it for a while last time they shopped, liking it but finding it too expensive and refusing to buy it. How had the blockhead even known…?

"Birthday, you idiot!" she snapped without any venom. "But I love it, you big idiot — come here," she said, smiling as stupidly as her husband before her. "Dinner's ready and Kyoko brought cake." She put her arm around his and he was all smiles.

"Cake to the extreme!" he yelled and Hana was all but willing to indulge him but…

Her eyes caught the blood hand raised into the air. She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. For the love of… "Ryohei…you weren't out recruiting were you?"

His eyes snapped to her, lit with a flame she knew all too well, "Sawada's boyfriend needs to join the boxing club to the extreme!" And he dragged her to the dining room without another word. Boyfriend…?

It only finally dawned on Hana on what her husband had said when they sat down to eat. "Boyfriend?!"

Back at the apartment, Tsuna sneezed.

..

A/N: Originally, Enma was supposed to take Xanxan's place but things happened so meh. Don't worry everybody will get their individual tuna time. I might put up a poll (GASPING) for stuff.

Just because I'm an ass:

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