Holy shit, it seems like forever since I last updated. My life has taken a radical turn and is suddenly very hectic. I'm going to try to get another chapter up shortly, which should be easier because the plot speeds up quite a bit. The reason for the Mature rating is going to be taking place soon. Thanks for reading and for those heading back to school, be brave. Btw, nothing belongs to me besides all the misspellings and errors.
HAPPY SHARK WEEK.
Over the next week I decline every one of Peeta's invitations to come over. Not that I don't want to because God I want to, it's just that whenever Peeta's around I become not myself and totally transform into this person I'm not used to.
To take my mind off of him I get back into shooting with my bow. During lunch I go out into the woods and set up a target practice of sorts until I can hit the bulls eye without a second thought. I also spend more time with Johanna, we've gone to The Hob a few times to have a drink after work, and she's somehow gotten me to spill all my thoughts and questions about Peeta.
"So I was right, you like him," she tells me while sitting cross-legged on my battered sofa eating out of a Chinese take-out container.
"He has kids," I say if that is an excuse not to like somebody.
"And you've got small tits."
"Hey!" I scold and cover my breasts protectively.
"Oh I'm sorry; I thought we were stating the obvious. He's got kids, so what?"
"I'm not good with kids."
"You've already had dinner and went to the park with them so I call bullshit on the not liking kid's things. Didn't you tell the oldest one you'd go to his soccer game?"
"Yeah," I grumble.
"When is it?"
"Tomorrow at eight."
"Looks like it'll be an early morning for you then."
"I can't go."
"Why not?"
I give a frustrated sigh. "I've blown all of Peeta's attempts for us to hang out this week. I can't all the sudden show up at Bran's game."
"Sure you are. It'll be your way of apologizing cause we all know you suck at that."
I roll my eyes. I know that if Peeta blew off all my attempts to get together then he randomly showed up at one of my kids' soccer games, I'd be upset and maybe even a little jaded. But Peeta isn't me; he's not cynical or unforgiving. He sees the best in everything and everyone. Johanna is right, I could easily use this as my excuse and all would be forgiven. Peeta would be thrilled that I showed up. I do want to see Peeta again but I'm having a tough time pushing my pride out of the way.
"Brainless I swear to all that is holy, if you do not show up to poor little Bran's soccer game tomorrow after promising that you would. You're a horrible person," Johanna says and she's not being dramatic.
"Jo—" I start but she cuts me off.
"No, listen to me. I've been one of Peeta's closer friends for a long time now, we've all been his friends, but the only two people that have seen those kids more than a handful of times are Annie and Finnick and that's only because Finnick is Peeta's best friend and Annie is a sweetheart. He doesn't mix his family life with his social life for two reasons, one of them being that he doesn't have a social life. Seriously, when we all got together at The Hob that was the first time any of us had seen Peeta outside of the bakery in months."
We sit in silence for moments as I reflect on what Johanna just told me. "What's the second reason?" I ask when I remember that she only gave the first reason.
"Delly fucked Peeta up. He gave her every part of him from the time they were sixteen till they were almost twenty-three. She's not here if you haven't noticed. Decided that the whole being a wife and having kids' thing wasn't for her and perused her dream to be a journalist for some online blog about traveling the world. Not only did that fuck Peeta up but it fucked the kids up. And Peeta's going to make damn sure that the people he surrounds his kids with are people he wants in his life further down the road. If you've met them and are going on picnics and to soccer games, he's already made up his mind about you."
"But it's only been a week, how could he have possibly made up his mind about me in a week?"
"Peeta's got this great sixth sense on being able to read people."
I gnaw on my bottom lip as Johanna gives me a knowing look.
"You like him Katniss, why are you making it this difficult?"
I don't know why I'm making it difficult at all. I've tried using the kids excuse but honestly, I like them. I see so much of myself in Bran and Prim in age. Jack is just the cutest thing ever, and his smile is exactly like Peeta's, making everyone forget their worries and troubles. I could use the excuse that we've only known each other for a week but that's a lie. I knew Peeta from the time I was five. We just didn't talk. I could use the ridiculous excuse of not knowing if I like Peeta or Peeta might not like me, but it's pretty clear at this point we wear our hearts on our sleeves when it comes to each other.
"I have a feeling that this isn't going to end well," I mutter.
"What are you talking about? It's going to end with you married, pregnant, and in a two story house," Johanna smiles.
XxX
I park my jeep next to the Mellerk's Bakery van in the soccer field parking lot early Saturday morning. I can see that Bran's game has already started but I'm not too late; it's doubtful that someone has already scored. I'm late because I spent most of the morning worrying about what to wear, then the rest of the time scolding myself for acting so superficial. I knew Peeta wouldn't care what I had on, but that didn't stop me from trying to look decent and spending a few extra moments putting on mascara.
Peeta stands with his back towards me as Sage and Jack sit in child sized folding chairs beside him, enjoying their mini bottles of water and apple slices. Before I make my presence known I take a moment to admire Peeta's backside. I've never looked at it before, but it looks extremely nice in the pair of grey athletic shorts he's wearing. Too bad his blue zip-up hoodie is masking his muscular back.
I nervously come to stand beside him, starting to rethink even getting up this morning. Instead of running, like my mind is telling me, I take a deep breath and mutter, "Hi."
"Hey," Peeta says barely looks at me then quickly does a double take. "Katniss, what are you doing here?"
"Oh um, I said I'd be here. Is that still okay?" I fear that I've overstepped my boundaries.
"It's perfectly okay, I'm really glad to see you. I didn't know if you were going to come or not." I know he's referring to my constant blow offs which immediately makes my stomach churn with guilt.
I give Peeta the best smile I can conjure up. "I wouldn't miss Bran's first game as goalie. How's he doing?"
We turn our attention to the game briefly before Sage steals away my attention, insisting that I color with her. So I won't get my shorts wet with dew, Sage offers me her chair that way she can sit on my lap. I'm honestly surprised how well this chair is built seeing as it was made for a child in mind and not an adult along with a child. Still, it holds, and I look over Sage's shoulder as she begins drawing stick figures and clouds. Occasionally I'll look over to Jack who is shoving apples and grapes into his face without a care, and then my eyes will flit to Peeta who stands shoulder length apart with his arms folded over his chest, eyes trained on the game, looking much like the rest of the dads. I make it a point to remember a few details so I can talk to Bran about them later, like ask him what certain things mean, or why the ref did what he did.
The ref calls a halftime and Bran follows his team off the field and surrounds the coach for a moment before coming over to us.
"Katniss, you came! Dad said you weren't going to come," Bran says as soon as he sees me.
"I said I don't know if Katniss would come or not," Peeta corrects his son with reddening cheeks.
"Do you really think I'd tell you that I'd come to your game then not show up?" That's exactly what I was going to do.
Bran doesn't answer as he takes a large gulp of water and the coach is calling his name again. He smiles at me and heads off to the rest of the team.
"Do you really have that much doubt about me?" I tease Peeta. I know I have that much doubt about myself, but I hoped he'd at least have some sort of optimism in where this could lead.
Peeta shakes his head in a dismissive way. "No, just over cautious."
We share a smile and the game continued. Bran is a good goalie. With his broad frame and quick reflexes he's able to block all attempts to score a goal from the other team, leaving his team with the victory when the referee blows the final whistle.
"Did you see that?" Bran exclaims after him and his team took a victory lap around the field.
"You looked so cool when you jumped into the air to block that last shot. I thought I was watching Beckham play," I smile and ruffle his sweaty locks with my fingers.
"Are you coming over Katniss? Dad promised that we could order pizza," Bran looks between Peeta and myself.
"We'd love having you, but if you already have plans that's fine," Peeta tells me.
"I don't have anything planned," I shrug.
Peeta and Bran give me the same smile and for a moment, the only real difference between father and son is the height. While Peeta and Bran went to listen to what the coach had to say about today's game, I offered to fold up Sage's and Jack's chairs and watch over them.
Sage and Jack chase each other as I pack up, slinging the fold up chairs over my shoulder and picking up the small cooler that houses a few juice boxes and apples.
"Come on guys, let's get this stuff to the car," I call for them.
Sage dances around my feet and Jack rests on my hip as we make it to the Mellark's van. I open the unlocked side door and set Jack in his seat before rounding to the trunk and depositing the chairs. When I come back around, I spot Peeta and Bran walking their way to us. I quickly buckle Jack into his car seat then watch as Sage shows me bow she can buckle herself into her booster seat.
By the time Sage is done showing me, Bran is opening up the passenger and climbing in.
"You don't have to come over if you don't want to," Peeta tells me once all of the van doors are securely shut.
"Do you not want me to come over?" I ask with the fear of rejection welling up in the pit of my stomach.
"No!" Peeta says quickly. "It's just kids are a handful and I'd understand if you weren't comfortable or didn't want to spend your Saturday with them."
"Peeta," I start firmly. "I want to. Your kids are fun."
Peeta's smile widens until it takes up his entire face. "Well then, follow us."
XxX
It's really amazing how comfortable Peeta's house is. It's warm and inviting. Obviously lived in with all of the toys scattered around the floor and the colorful artwork tapped on the walls. With a belly full of pizza, I lean back on the plush couch. At that moment Peeta scoots closer to me and nonchalantly putting his arm over the back of the couch for me to lean on. It's a nice gesture, one that made me grin to myself.
The kids are all sprawled on the floor with the beginning credits of Disney's Brave starting to roll. Peeta tells me that Sage watches it every day, and the boys don't mind because it has bears in it.
"I can shoot one of those, you know," I tell Sage who has her eyes glued to the television.
She whips her head towards me with a sudden look of awe plastered on her face. "Really?"
"Yeah, my dad taught me when I was little."
"Can you teach me?"
"If your dad says it's okay." I look over to Peeta and see that he's already smiling.
"Only if you teach me too."
XxX
Night falls before anyone realizes it. I stay for dinner too, only because the neither kids nor Peeta gave me much choice. We had sandwiches and chips with bread that Peeta made from the bakery. It's baffling how amazing fresh, homemade bread could taste.
Soon the kids are all in bed, having said goodnight to me and Peeta.
"I should get going. I promised Gale that I'd go out into the woods with him tomorrow morning."
Peeta nods. "I'll walk you out."
Peeta quietly follows me down the steps and out the side door to the well illuminated alleyway.
"The kids like you," Peeta says softly once we reach the driver's side of my Jeep.
"I like them too."
"And I like you," he grins.
I feel blush coming up my neck and immediately I feel like I should be in middle school. "And I like you too."
"Good because that would have sucked if you didn't."
I laugh and Peeta's grin grows wider.
"So, I'm going to kiss you now," Peeta speaks nervously.
I nod my head in allowance as Peeta inches closer to me. He's close enough that I can smell his breath, minty, which sends me into a series of questions on when he ate a mint and what my breath might smell like. But I do not have enough time to completely fret because Peeta's lips are on mine; warm and thought erasing.
His lips work against mine, slowly as first, as if he was testing the waters. I remember what Johanna had said about him not going out with anyone after Delly. He's nervous, and this makes me smile and slowly take lead, opening my mouth slightly, telling Peeta that this is more than okay.
Peeta takes my hint immediately and it seems to have awoken something deep inside him. His tongue swipes along mine before he sucks lightly on my bottom lips and pushes me back against my car door. His hands find purchase on my hips, his fingertips gliding along the patch of bare skin between my tee shirt and jeans. I let out a light moan into Peeta's mouth which he swallows greedily and begs for more, moving his hands higher and pressing himself even further into me.
It doesn't matter how close we are, that I can feel Peeta hardening against my stomach, we're still not close enough. I need more. But as soon as all my thoughts are clouded with thoughts of Peeta, he pulls away, leaving too much space between us.
"Sorry, I didn't mean for that to happen," Peeta says as he tries, and fails, to hide his arousal.
"It's fine."
"I don't do this, Katniss. I haven't even thought about being with someone since Delly," he tells me honestly.
My heart melts. "It's fine," I repeat. "This is all pretty new to me as well. So we don't have to rush into anything, let's just let things happen."
Peeta leans his head in and kisses me swiftly. "I'm really glad you've come home."
"Me too."
XxX
I don't find sleep easy that night. Peeta's planted himself into every one of my thoughts. All I can think about is him, and the warnings Gale has given me and the information Johanna shared with me on Friday. Do what makes you happy. There are Gale's words again and Peeta's face flashes behind my eyelids. Peeta makes me happy.