Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far. It means a lot to me xx

For the MMEPAC ladies and Beth because you're all kinda decent people

'Doctor Turner is dating Emily Baker from the market.'

'...'

'Sister Bernadette? Are you still there?'

'I have to go. Sorry.' She put the phone down absently as if in a trance. The words repeating over and over in her head.

Doctor Turner's girlfriend...dating Emily Baker...girlfriend...Emily...girlfriend.

"Sweetheart?' The woman appeared behind her. Shelagh continued to stare at the wall shaking. 'Love are you okay?'

'No. Not really' She turned slowly and the woman drew her into her arms as she saw the tears pooling in Shelagh's eyes. She began to sob gently into the woman's shoulder.

'There there. I'm sure it can't be as bad as all that.'

'He has a girlfriend.' Shelagh whispered brokenly, her voice catching on the lump in her throat that seemed to increase with every second. 'What have I done? Did I get it wrong?' Shelagh pulled back, desperately seeking any form of reassurance from the kindly woman she'd met only minutes before.

'I don't know what you're talking about but I feel like you need a cup of tea. Come on, sit down and I'll make you one. Okay?' Shelagh nodded as she was directed into a chair. The woman walked out leaving her to her thoughts.

I left it too late. He's moved on. I was too indecisive. Did he even get my note? He doesn't love me anymore. I misunderstood his letters. Maybe he never loved me. I'm not going to be his wife. Timothy isn't going to be my son. Doctor Turner won't be the father of my children. Oh but I love him so much. I want to have his babies, I want to wake and see him sleeping beside me, I want the world to know that we belong to each other. But no. And I left the order. I can't go back now. Even without doctor that life isn't for me anymore. But oh what of this was Him telling me I'd made a mistake. No. God wanted this life for me. He wanted me to be Shelagh again, He has a plan, I just misunderstood who he wanted me to be with. That's okay...his plan will become clear. Oh but I so wanted to be Shelagh Turner...Shelagh Turner, it sounded so wonderful

'Miss?' The pub lady's voice interrupted her musings.

'Shelagh. My name is Shelagh.'

'Rebecca. Here you are.'

'Thank you.' They sat in silence for a few moments as Shelagh stared forlorn into her cup.

'Can I help in any way?'

'No. Thank you.'

'Do want to talk about it?' Shelagh considered Rebecca. What have I got to lose? She's been so kind to me already.

'I thought I had a future with the man I finally allowed myself to accept that I love more than anything. My friend has just told me he's dating another woman. But he wrote to me. I thought he loved me. He would never ask explicitly, he's too respectful for that, but I thought I knew what he wanted. I thought he would accept me if I left my life for him. Oh Rebecca I gave up so much for him. Well I haven't yet but I will, even without him.' She brushed a late tear from her cheek.

'What did you give up? Sounds big.'

'Look in my suitcase.' Shelagh smiled weakly. Rebecca cocked her head at her confused before nodding and moving over to the far table. Opening the case she gasped.

'Is this? Were you-?' Shelagh nodded.

'Technically I still am. I was on my way to sign the papers when I got lost. I want to marry the doctor so much, but I took too long to decide. He's moved on. But I've already decided to become Shelagh again and even without him I still want to be. It's what He wants.'

'You were a nun...who left for love...but found out he had a girlfriend.'

'He wrote what I thought was love letters to me whilst I was recovering from TB in the sanatorium too.' Shelagh smiled weakly.

'Blimey.'

'Quite. That's why my clothes are out of date. I haven't worn them in 10 years.'

'How's about you borrow some of mine, and I'll do your hair all nice and perhaps a little bit of make-up. Show that man what he's missing out on.' Rebecca suggested gently.

'Oh I'm not sure. I don't know that I would feel comfortable in such fashions just yet.'

'Nothing risqué or over the top I promise. It must feel very strange suddenly being exposed like this and having so many new situations to encounter. But you can stay modest and respectable and modern too.'

'I'd like that. Thank you.'

'There. How's that?' Rebecca finished up Shelagh's hair and brought her to a mirror. Shelagh stared at herself in shock. Is that really me? I look...pretty. No..I can't think like that. Control yourself Sister...wait...no I can think like that. I can be vain, at least on a small scale...I do look good. She raised a hand to her hair which now lay in loose waves over her shoulders. I always did like my hair...I wonder if the Doctor would like it.

'Thank you. Very much. I like it a lot. Golly the nurses are going to have quite the shock when I appear.'

'You look beautiful. I know that must make you uncomfortable and I apologize but you are.'

'Thank you.' She smiled shyly.

'Are you sure you won't stay the night with us? We have many rooms. And you can stay for free so won't worry about that. I do so like you and you've had such a rough day.'

'I'm sure. Thank you. I need to face reality. I need to go home and leave the Order and become Nurse Mannion and let the doctor get on with his life. Eventually His plan for me will reveal itself once more.'

'Okay. But I insist I drive you back. My David can be left alone here for an hour.'

'If it wouldn't be an imposition.'

'Of course not. I've become rather attached to you already. I expect regular updates on now you're doing and how your sisters took it and how much that doctors jaw dropped when he saw how pretty you are.'

'Deal. Thank you. It's good to know there are people who can accept me as I am now.'

'This could be the start of a beautiful friendship.' Rebecca chuckled.

'I hope so.'

'Let's go find that husband of mine and tell him he has an hour to not burn the place to the ground.' Rebecca chuckled drawing Shelagh back into her arms, this time Shelagh returned it easily, smiling thankfully.

Reviews appreciated xxx

This is going to be several chapters longer than I initially claimed. But I have a plan