Again not edited, I'll try and edit it later, but I don't think that the mistakes are too bad. I originally wanted to make Peeta's POV more common throughout this story but I that didn't happen. So part of the story is his POV while the other goes back to Katniss'.
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Peeta's POV
I drop Bran off to school, who still hasn't spoken to me in two days. He blames me for Katniss leaving. He should as it was my fault. If only he knew that I blame myself just as much. I drop Sage and Jack off at daycare next. They can tell something's wrong, but aren't quite sure yet. Jack is constantly shouting for Katniss to stop hiding, and Sage is constantly asking when she'll return home. I don't go to work; Mags is filling in for me today. Instead I'm going to a place that I'm in dire need of visiting.
Doctor Aurelius' office is inviting but sterile. There is a friendly receptionist that remembers me by name when I walk in the front door, I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. It's not busy since it's a Thursday morning and I'm the doctor's first patient of the day. And I'm not sitting in the waiting room long before the friendly receptionist is telling me that the doctor will 'see me now.'
"Peeta, it's been a long time since your last visit and this appointment was booked as urgent."
I never told the lady on the phone when I was booking this appointment that this session is urgent. It must have been the tone of my voice that made her put it that way. Anyways, I'm thankful for it because it's the only way I would have gotten in so soon.
"Delly is back."
I don't need to elaborate. I went to see Dr. Aurelius for a few months after the divorce and her departure. He knows all about my sketchy past. A mother that tended to lean more towards the violent side than the loving, and a father who loved us all unconditionally but was known to turn a blind eye once his wife got into one of her mean streaks. The constant up and down struggle with Delly; the pregnancies, the wedding, the divorce. Dr. Aurelius knows it all.
"I see. Is she ready to make amends?"
"Yes, but I met someone. Or rather someone came back into my life."
This perks the doctor's interest. Our whole doctor-patient relationship has been dealing with one single girl. Now I'm throwing another one into the mix. Another one that dwarfs Delly is all aspects.
"Oh, and what is her name?"
"Katniss. Katniss Everdeen. She lived in 12 when we were kids but moved away after her dad died and her mom got sick. She moved back a few months ago and things have been nothing but a blur of emotions since then."
"Tell me about these emotions," Dr. Aurelius readies his notepad ready to jot down anything interesting that I spew out.
I sit back further on the comfortable chair across from the doctor and begin rattling my head onto where to start. I guess at the start. "When we were like five and just starting school. My dad was the one that pointed her out to me, he said something about having a crush on her before he married my mother, but she ended up marrying the coal miner with a voice that makes the birds stop singing just to listen. I didn't pay any attention to him and it wasn't until we were in music class that I knew what he was even talking about. Katniss got up in front of the class, in a red plaid dress and two braided pig tails and sang us the Valley Song. The birds stopped chirping outside the window, hell; even the crickets stopped making their music. At five years old, I would have married her."
Dr. Aurelius is busy taking notes and doesn't have anything to comment on so I carry on. "Katniss' dad died then her mom got sick and she and her sister had to move to the capitol to live with her uncle. I didn't get a chance to know her, and then the whole Delly thing happened, and I forgot that schoolyard crush I had on her. But the moment I saw her in that grocery store, I was a goner. Holy shit, I thought I died. She was so beautiful. I made her dinner then when she found out that I not only had one kid but three, she didn't freak out."
"How did the kids take to her?" Dr. Aurelius interrupts me.
"They love Katniss. They all call her mom. Bran refuses to talk to me, Sage is asking when she's getting back, and Jack thinks that they're playing a really good game of hide and seek. I fucked up. I let Delly get inside of me. She knows that I want a happy complete family more than anything. I want what my parents couldn't give me. I would have had that with Katniss but I got weak and I hurt the one person that means so much to me."
I cradle my head in my hands and let out an agitated groan. "I hurt her," I choke out in desperation. "I'm not going to get her back. Katniss doesn't do the second chance thing. She was hesitant about the first chance. Katniss doesn't wear her heart on her sleeve. She stays locked inside herself in case someone, like me, comes into her life and is like a bull in a china shop and destroys the brick wall around her heart that she's so carefully placed."
"It seems like she has trust issues."
"She does. And I broke her trust. I told Delly what she wanted to hear to keep her happy, because that's the type of person I am. I live to please people and because of that I fucked up my chances with being with a girl that I'm madly in love with."
"Where is Katniss now?"
"Work," I answer simply.
Dr. Aurelius smiles and simply shakes his head. "No, I mean where is she staying? I assume you two were living together."
"Yeah, we bought a house together. We were engaged. We were talking about having more kids, despite her fears."
"So you're living in the house and she is where?"
"Bran told me that she was staying with our mutual friend Johanna."
"Have you tried to contact her?"
"No. I've been too afraid. Bran talks to her everyday though. I can hear him talking to her right before bed. Bran and I were always close since I had to rely so much on him. But what Bran and I have is nothing compared to the relationship he shares with Katniss. I'm jealous of the two of them. Sometimes they can just look at each other and know that the other is thinking. I swear if the kid didn't look just like me, I'd think that he was solely Katniss' child."
"Katniss' child. Not Delly's?"
"Delly stopped being mom the day she left us. Jack was still a baby. He doesn't know who Delly is."
"Do you plan on allowing Delly visitation rights?"
"Probably, it's what she wants. Maybe start with like a couple hours on Sunday with other people there."
"I would recommend talking with a lawyer about custody terms and then get them set in stone as just a precaution."
"Okay. What should I do about Katniss?"
"I cannot tell you what to do. I am here simply to try and help you sort out your problems."
"Care to make a suggestion?"
Dr. Aurelius sighs and takes off the black rimmed glasses that he's been wearing. "Make a list. Make a list of everything you want to say to Katniss before you talk to her. Sort out your priorities and show her that your family together is number one."
"Okay," I say nodding.
"I'm going to schedule you for another appointment for next month to see how things are going."
"Okay," I say again. "Thank you."
I skip work altogether. Instead I drive back to the house, sit at the kitchen counter and begin to make a list like Dr. Aurelius suggested. Thirty-five or so minutes later my hand begins to cramp up and I've filled three pages of paper, front and back. I was going to show Katniss one way or another that I am in love with her, and only her.
"I'm going to kill him Katniss," Gale seethes, loosing and tightening his grip on the can of beer in his hand.
"No, you're not."
It's the same conversation that I had with Johanna two days ago. We're all sitting around Johanna's coffee table, slowly throwing back the twenty-four pack of beer that occupies Johanna's fridge.
"I told you that this was going to end badly. But did you listen? No. Instead you got yourself shacked up with him playing house with his children, a ring on your finger and—oh god, you're not pregnant are you?" Gale's eyes go wide.
I hold up my beer as proof that I am not pregnant then chug it down quickly.
"Why can't I kill him?"
"Because I said so."
"So does Peeta actually believe that you two are actually on a break or is he smart enough to know that it's over?"
I shrug my shoulders because I don't want to answer Johanna's question. If it were Johanna or maybe even Gale in my place, there would be no second chance for Peeta. Hell, if it happened to me a few months ago Peeta wouldn't have given him a second chance. But there's a feeling in my stomach that thinks maybe I should. Definitely not go back to the way things were. We'd go slowly, how it should have been. Go on more dates away from the kids, and find out more about each other, not talk about the idea of getting married and having even more kids until at least a year or maybe even two.
"Jesus Catnip," Gale sighs while he crushes his beer can against his fist and the coffee table. "You really loved him didn't you?"
I shrug my shoulders again. I really don't want to answer Gale's question either. Of course I love Peeta. I agreed to give everything up that was familiar to me for something that I've been afraid of for the majority of my life.
But Peeta makes me vulnerable and I cannot afford that. My father made my mother too vulnerable and when he died, she died with him too, leaving Prim and I to flounder about in the world by ourselves. If Peeta were to die, I'm afraid that I'll do just the same.
