one more chapter!

We're above the bakery, sitting on the beat up old couch that Peeta left behind. Peeta's nervous, I can tell. The pieces of papers that he's taken out of his back pockets are now to the point of breaking with how much Peeta keeps folding and unfolding it.

"How are you?" I start to ease some of the awkward tension.

"Not good honestly. You?"

"Not good," I answer back.

"I miss you and the kids miss you. Bran hates me."

"I'll talk to him."

"No, I just want you to come home."

"I can't do that. Not when you're telling Delly that you love her and if things were different you'd still be with her. I love you, but I love myself as well and I can't do that."

Peeta sits back and closes his eyes. I can see him working up the courage to say whatever is on that piece of crumpled up paper that has him so worked up. After two days of not talking, Peeta called me asking to see me today, in hopes of explaining himself. So far he hasn't explained anything.

"Okay, so I know I fucked up. I shouldn't have said those things to Delly. Honestly I thought that Delly would just accept that things are now different and leave, but I was wrong. So fucking wrong."

"You think?" I snort.

"I love Delly. She gave me the three greatest things that have ever happened to me. She was most of my firsts and has a piece of my heart. She can leave and then return fifty years from now and I'll still have that soft spot for her. If you weren't here, if you never came back into my life and Delly returned, I probably would have caved and returned to that vicious make up-break up cycle with her because it's what's 'right' for the kids. But saying all of that, she is nothing compared to what I feel for you. I have never been surer about my love for you in all of my life."

"You didn't need to tell her that. You didn't need to hide the fact that you were meeting with her from me then propose to me as a cover up when I found out. It makes you look bad, it makes me look like a fool, and it's affecting the kids."

"I know. God, I know. Tell me what to do to fix it."

I shrug. I'm not sure what he can do.

"I want to be with you. Do you still want to be with me?"

I nod my head. Yes, that is one thing I am sure of. I want to be with Peeta. I want to be with his kids, our kids. Just at a much slower rate. "Yes, but that doesn't mean that we should. I love you Peeta but you've burnt me and I don't forgive easily. You're only you got me to listen to you today is because of the kids. They don't deserve to be left again because their father is a moron. We have to take this slow, if I decide to trust you again. Right now I can only be your friend while entertaining the idea of being together again in the future."

Peeta nods and lets the new information I've just given him sink in. "I agree and it was my fault. I pushed you into all of this. I wanted us to buy a house together when you weren't even ready to live with me yet, and went behind your back to look at our house because I knew that once you saw it, you wouldn't say no. I pressured you into an engagement. I'm sure if Delly didn't show up when she did, I would have practically forced you down the aisle. I just don't want to lose you. I know that is no excuse but it's true. I'm honestly terrified that you'll get bored and leave me as well."

I bracket Peeta's face with my palms and direct his stare to me instead of what held his attention on the floor. "I wouldn't leave you or the kids. I couldn't. I'm not Delly. Delly never loved you the way that I love you."

"I know, but I can't help myself to think it."

We sit closer to each other now. Our thighs and shoulders are touching. It's nice, the contact. It's only been two days but I've missed it. I remind myself to stay strong. No matter how badly I want to press my lips against Peeta's just to remind him just how much I love him, I can't. I do allow myself to lay my head on Peeta's shoulder. This seems to relax him, by the way his posture loosens and the deep breath he lets out.

"How are the kids?"

"They miss you."

"I miss them."

"You can come home and see them. Stay the night."

"I can't stay the night. If I do that, I won't leave and we'll be right back to where we left off."

"How about if I'm not there? I have a big wedding cake order I have to finish so I could just stay here for the night."

"Okay." I miss my kids. The longer I'm away from them the worse it'll get. Maybe I can get Bran to come to some sort of speaking terms with Peeta again.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

The kids are thrilled to see me. They want to know where I've been and how come I wasn't coming home. Only Bran knows the real answer; that Peeta and I are on the rocks and the likelihood of us getting back together is slim. I have hope though. Peeta and I can get through this. I just have to be more understanding that before me, these kids did have another mother. And Delly has as much right to be in these kids' lives as I do, despite being absent for nearly two years.

I got conned into letting everyone sleep in my bed. It's a sleepover after all. I'm in the middle with Sage and Jack on either side of me and Bran on the other side of Jack. We're all sandwiched together, despite the bed being big. They've missed me and I've missed them.

"Delly's back isn't she?" Bran whispers long after I thought I was the only one still awake.

"Yes." I won't lie to him. Bran is far too smart for his own good. He deserves to know.

"That's why you and dad are fighting. That's why you moved out, isn't it?"

He already knows the answer but he's looking for conformation. "Yes," I whisper again.

"Is Dad going to get back together with her?"

"Would you like that?" I ask honestly. "Would you like to have your family back together?"

"You're my family, Katniss." It's been such a long time it feels since Bran's used my first name. It sounds foreign on his tongue. I like mom much better. "You and dad and Sage and Jack, you're all my family. Not Delly."

"She misses you."

"Yeah well she missed a lot."

"She doesn't have to miss anything else anymore."

Bran doesn't say anything back. He knows what I meant. Delly will be a part of his and his sibling's lives, whether he likes it or not. They wouldn't be seeing her often at first but eventually when she proves herself trustworthy, it could come to joint custody. I shudder at the thought of not having the kids all to myself. I'd have to share them with their biological mother.

I'm just about asleep when I hear Bran again. "You'll always be my mom."

I smile because he'll always be my son.

I got the weekends with the kids. Monday through Friday Peeta would sleep at the house while I slept above the bakery because renting an apartment wasn't practical and I could only live with Johanna for so much longer. In the morning Peeta would bring the kids to the bakery with him and I'd take them to school and to daycare then head off to work. I'd have dinners with them a night or two out of the week, but no slumber parties much to the kids' dismay. During the weekend, I'd live in the house. Sometimes we'd build a fort in one of the kids' bedroom and all sleep in it until Peeta would come by in the morning with freshly baked muffins or cinnamon rolls.

It went on like that for a month before Delly came back into the mix. Peeta went through an attorney and now Delly gets a few hours every other Sunday with Bran, Sage, and Jack until Peeta decides that she can have more visitation time. Bran hates those Sunday's but the other two don't seem to mind as much. They've all refused to acknowledge her as mom, which was a silent victory for me.

"Hey," Peeta sits down next to me on the couch. He's been here longer than normal this Saturday. Normally Peeta is here for breakfast and sometimes lunch before he heads back to check on the bakery but today he has stayed for dinner and just now got done putting Jack to bed.

"Hey yourself. Did Jack give you a rough time tonight? I think he's coming down with something."

"Yeah, I was talking to one of the teachers at the daycare earlier this week and she said that something was going around the entire school."

"Well it'll be Delly's problem tomorrow. Has she asked for more days yet or is she still behaving?"

"She's behaving. I think she has finally figured out that I don't love her and I'm with someone else."

"She's not constantly reminding you that we aren't technically together?" For a while Delly would taunt Peeta with the fact I wouldn't take him back right away because of the huge fuck up he made. She would constantly tell him that he wasn't good enough or must be defective because he can't seem to keep a girl. Delly told all of our friends that it was his small package that pushed most girls away, but I quickly set her straight. Normally I'm above the petty schoolyard drama but I made an exception for her.

Peeta chuckles. "No, I'm pretty sure she's actually afraid of you."

"Good."

Peeta puts his arm on the back of couch and I lean my head on it. It's been almost two months without any physical contact besides the occasional hug or brief graze of body parts as we walk past each other. I've been dying to kiss him. Just once, I want to feel Peeta's lips on mine again. But I set this pace of not doing anything again that could catapult us into another hasty engagement and I have to stick with it. At least for a little while longer.

"Okay so I know that all we are right now is friends but Delly has the kids tomorrow and I'd like to take you out on a date. You can say no, it's okay, I don't want to push you but it's supposed to be beautiful out tomorrow and I thought maybe a Sunday picnic would be nice. It doesn't even have to be called a date, in fact I'd rather call it an outing between friends. What do you think?"

I don't have to think it over for long. "An outing between friends would be nice."

My grin matches Peeta's. We are going to do this right this time.

We're not going to the park where Sunday picnics are normally held. Instead Peeta takes me to a secluded hiking trail that I remember telling him about in the early stages of our relationship. It's the trail that I'd walk on with my dad in the woods where I learned how to hunt and how to survive.

"I hope this is okay," Peeta says nervously.

"It's wonderful."

Everything is how I remembered. All the trees look the same, the sway of the branches and buzzing of the bugs all sound the same, the earthy scent of the dirt and bark smells the same. It's almost like I've stepped back in time and any moment my father will step out of the overgrown brush and engulf me in one of his famous bear hugs. He doesn't though. It's only Peeta and I here and my father is no longer alive. I have to remind myself that.

I'm not sad though. The thought of him used to cripple me. His death and everything surrounding him was my kryptonite, but Peeta slips his hand into mine and I'm happy.

We don't go far; Peeta isn't as skilled in hiking as I am. But we do come across the lake that I learned how to swim in. Peeta says something about how the kids have never really been swimming and I vow to take them all one day in the summer.

Peeta's outdone himself with the picnic of course. He's packed lamb stew with dried plums in a thermos as well as rice and delicious cheese buns. It's not a coincidence that he's brought all of my favorite things; it was a conscious effort of Peeta's behalf.

We don't talk for a really long time after the picnic things are all put away and we've taken a seat on a rain-weathered rock to allow our food to digest. It's nice. I'm not a fan with talking and with Peeta it's not awkward, it never has been. We're content with listening to each other's breathing patterns.

"I'm happy," Peeta murmurs.

I smile. "I'm happy too."

"After I thought I lost you, I didn't think I'd ever be happy again. I said things I didn't mean, did things that I shouldn't have done, betrayed your trust, hurt our kids. I did it all but you're still here, I have no clue why."

"Because I love you, you know that."

"Yeah but I could live a thousand life times and not deserve you."

I smile because sometimes that's how I feel about him.