For my ladies xxx

'So. We're finally here.' He smiled as they settled on the settee. Tentatively she leant into him and he gently rested his arm over her shoulders.

'Indeed. We took our time didn't we. And it's all down to you. Thank you for being brave enough to make me realise how desperately in love with you I am. When you kissed me in the hall kitchen...' She broke off, smiling at the memory as he winced.

'I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry.'

'Don't be. It was necessary for the path we've been put on. The memory of it brought me great comfort at times when I was in the Sanatorium. Particularly this last week. That was the first time I realised I was in love with you. I'd been having... feelings towards you for a while, since before Christmas but I didn't face up to them until our eyes met over the spirit lamps. I still didn't realise what they were however until that moment when everything became so clear. Do you remember that? The spirit lamps I mean?'

'Of course I remember. That was when I realised I wasn't alone in this. That you felt something too. That I wasn't imagining the connection between us.'

'When did you realise you loved me?' She asked timidly, resting her head against his shoulder.

'When we were delivering the Carter twins Jr. When the second girl wasn't breathing and you brought her to life with your bare hands. I'd always respected you but I remember looking up at you and thinking 'I love that woman' which came as rather a surprise given I hadn't really realised I had even vague feelings for you. It was only after that that I began to truly see you as the woman you were beneath the habit even though I tried valiantly to fight it. Starting with that cigarette we shared. God help me you were so attractive smoking.'

'It was a very good cigarette.' She mused. 'What made you write to me? I'm so very glad you did but why did you suddenly decide to?'

'Having to examine you, having to diagnose you with TB was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I loved you so much even then. The thought of losing you, the thought of you...' He broke off, unable to continue on as a lump came to his throat at the thought.

'The thought of me dying?' He nodded.

'Yes. The thought of... that... happening without me fighting for you, without me at least trying to let you know how adored you were was unbearable. I never expected to be successful, I never dreamed you would actually ever leave the Order to be with me. That's why I never explicitly told you how I felt in them. If, more likely when, you rejected me it would be easier to salvage any scraps of friendship you were willing to give me afterwards.' Her heart broke at his words. In all of her worries she had never stopped to think that he may have been suffering too.

'They were beautiful letters. I'm not sure that I would have chosen to leave the order without them. Even before I read them they helped me to decide. Just seeing them piling up in the box reminded me that there was a chance someone out there loved me and would be there for me if I left. I didn't read them for a good while. I wanted to make sure I wasn't swayed towards a choice by them. It wasn't until I was prepared to consider leaving the order, until I was ready to face the fact that that this could be God's plan for me that I read them and let myself reflect upon my life as it was and the life I ached for. I realised that I could no more continue on as I was.'

'Oh Shelagh.'

'So I told Sister Julienne that I wasn't sure where I belonged anymore. She suggested I go to Chichester to think everything over but I knew I would come home to you. So I phoned you.' They smiled as they remembered the call that had started their already tumultuous relationship. She took a deep breath, preparing herself for the tough part of the conversation. 'I was so sure you would come. I thought you said you would come. I waited for you.' She admitted frowning. Surreptitiously she brushed a lone year from her cheek. He noticed however and his heart broke. How could he have ever hurt her? She was so beautiful, so kind so wise, and he had made her cry. He had broken her heart. Well no more, he vowed. From this day onwards, and every day after that he would make sure he knew how loved she was.

'I'm so sorry. I love you so much. I tried to come as quickly as I could. I truly did. I left Dolly Smart in Nurse Noakes' hands but she took a downturn. I couldn't leave, I wanted nothing more than to run straight to you and take you into my arms and never let go. But I couldn't leave her, I just couldn't. I'm sorry.'

'I understand darling. It's okay. I'd never want to get between you and your work. It was your dedication to your work that endeared you to me in the first place. I knew you'd have a good reason.' She smiled, relieved. He had tried to come for her after all. Even though she had known he loved her she had lain awake for several hours trying to work out why he hadn't come for her.

'I did make it to the sanatorium but the nurse said you'd left already, she thought you had gotten on the wrong bus. I phoned the surgery and Nurse Franklin said you'd phoned her and were on your way back here but didn't say how. I ended up scouring the countryside for you, I tried various nearby towns but no-one knew anything. I was so scared that Nurse Franklin's gossiping had caused you to run away completely.'

'I did get the wrong bus it's true. I didn't realise for a while and didn't get off until I was quite far off track. I didn't have any money left so I walked to the nearest village, it must have been further than you looked or Rebecca's husband didn't know enough to help.'

'Rebecca?' He frowned confused.

'I'm getting to her now. Have some patience.'

'Sorry.'

'As I was saying before you so rudely interrupted, I walked to a village and stepped into a pub with the aim of using their telephone. I was lucky. The woman behind the bar, Rebecca, was so kind to me. She let me use it, she gave me some food. She gave me more modern clothes, styled my hair, made me over slightly.'

'The one who told you to knock my socks off?'

'Yes. Well remembered. It's good to know you're listening.' She chuckled.

'You succeeded.' Patrick grinned raising up his trousers leg to reveal his bare feet in his shoes. She gaped at him for a moment before bursting into fits of laughter. He watched her, transfixed by the way her nose crinkled with the laughter, the way her eyes lit up with joy and mirth, the way her laugh was nowhere near as ladylike as he had expected. The snort that followed was without doubt the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. Her hand flew to her mouth with a blush as she realised what she'd just done. He smirked and pulled her hand away from her mouth.

'I'm sorry. That wasn't very lovely of me.'

'That was beautiful. I shall endeavour to make you make that noise every single day from now on. You deserve to have laughter in your life.'

'Wait, you liked my laugh snort?' She gaped.

'I fell in love with you all over again when I heard it.' She stared at him stunned. 'It was truly beautiful. Just like you my love.' She leant forwards and kissed him sweetly.

'I've spent my entire life trying to hide it and I go and fall in love with a man who loves it. The boy I dated when I was 19 hated it. He claimed that's why he had to break up with me.' She revealed sadly. Though the breakup had been well over a decade ago, and a whole other life it seemed, James had been her first proper boyfriend and she had trusted him only to be attacked in a vicious verbal attack one day out of the blue. It still hurt.

'Then he is a blind fool.'

'Thank you. You don't mind that I had a boyfriend when I was 19 do you? And that I've kissed a few other boys when I was a girl?'

'Of course not. You weren't born a nun and you're a strikingly beautiful woman. I assumed that you must have been the target of many a young man's affections. If anything I'm surprised you only had the one boyfriend.'

'Not that many suitors but I was certainly uh... I wasn't ignored.' She blushed deeply though she couldn't quite bring herself to be ashamed. They were practice, she decided, for this new life she was to lead.

'And besides I was married before. It would be hypocritical of me to complain. So long as you don't plan to kiss anyone else we're fine.'

'I don't. Just so long as you don't either.' She marveled at the fact she could promise herself to him, and he to her, without worry or retribution. Though we're not yet engaged they both knew it was only a matter of time. They would be married. So they could make such claims after so little time together. And she loved it.

'Never.'

'Pinky swear? Don't look at me like that we do it all the time.' She laughed in response to the incredulous look that settled over his face. 'Well not we anymore. The nuns and I.' She corrected. That would take some getting used to for sure. Though they would always be her Sisters and she hoped they felt the same about her.

'You're telling me Sister Evangelina pinky swears?' He grinned. She nodded.

'It was her idea. Don't tell her I told you. So pinky swear?'

'Go on then.' He chuckled linking his little finger with her proffered one. 'I pinky swear never to kiss another woman due to the fact that I am hopelessly, passionately, madly, irrevocably, head over heels in love with you.'

'And I pinky swear not to kiss another man because I guess you're sort of handsome.' She giggled.

'I love you.' He grinned. 'Actually I would like to make an amendment to mine.'

'Oh dear.' She cocked an eyebrow at him.

'No it's good. I pinky swear to never kiss another woman for the rest of my life, unless that woman is our daughter.'

'Oh Patrick.' She beamed tears filling her eyes. 'I'll allow that.'

'The statement or the reality?'

'Both my love. Both.' She kissed him again. 'So... Emily Baker?'

'I'm definitely not going to kiss her.' He reassured her.

'That's not what I meant and you know it.' She hit his shoulder playfully before settling back against it.

'She was very good friends with Marie and by extension me. She's Timothy's godmother. We avoided each other after Marie's death because it was too painful, there were too many memories associated with each other. As we started to come to terms with her death we began to get closer again. I was so lost, so confused by my feelings for you, so terrified I would lose you too and she sensed that. She understood. She was the only person I could talk to about all of this. She was unreasonably understanding. I'm very grateful to her. Without Emily I'm not sure I wouldn't have drowned in sorrow. We got quite close again and I guess that must have been where all the rumours stemmed from.' He mused sadly. Emily had been shocked when he had broken down and confessed to his love for the nun that was so beloved by the entire community but had picked her jaw off of the floor as she realised how desperately troubled he was. Shelagh took this in silently, mulling things over in her head before speaking.

'Oh. And to think I hated her when she was helping you. But why didn't you say this yesterday when I asked?'

'My head was scrambled. All I could concentrate on you and making sure that you knew how much I loved you and then Nurse Noakes. Besides I didn't think half way through professing my undying love for you was a good time to bring up my dead wife.'

'I suppose not.' She giggled. He smiled before pulling back to look her seriously in the face.

'Though I want to make one thing absolutely clear and I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable but it needs saying. I still love Marie, I always will do.' She took his hand in hers and raised it to her lips, her eyes never leaving his.

'I know. I'd be more upset if you didn't.'

'You would?' He was shocked.

'Patrick I will love you to the day I die and every day after that. I hope you feel the same way about me.'

'I do.'

'I wouldn't want you to stop loving me just because I was dead. And I don't want you to stop loving Marie just because she's with Him now. That would devalue your marriage. The two of you were together for so many years and have a child together.'

'Thank you. For being so understanding. Not everyone would be.'

'You've made an excellent choice of girlfriend Doctor Turner.'

'Why yes Miss-uh.' He froze realising he didn't actually know this key piece of information about her.

''Mannion.' She supplied chuckling.

'Well then-why yes Miss Mannion, I do believe I have.'

Okay folks question time. Should I leave it here or continue on?

If I continue on I'll probably include more Rebecca, some Emily and the engagement.

What do you all think?

Reviews appreciated xxx