A/n: I am notoriously bad for not updating quick. And this is another one of those times (wince). It's a pretty long chapter, though, if that makes up for it! It's been like two months since my last update which is sickeningly long, I know. Many apologies. I metaphorically kiss the feet of anyone who is sticking with me. :)

Chapter 15

On Sunday, Hermione moved on with her day rather uneasily. Her head was filled with the disturbing images of her nightmare and she felt as though she couldn't shake them no matter what she did to distract herself.

She barely saw Cedric, as she had homework and Quidditch practice in between meals. Nott was working hem extra hard, as the first match of the season was Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff on the eleventh of October. He was determined to win every match that came their way, though the rest of his team highly doubted that they could win every match. Nonetheless, they gave practices their all, in hopes that they might be able to win them all.

During meals, Cedric sat at the Ravenclaw table, laughing and chatting with his friends while Hermione did her best not to look at him, not to think about him or her dream, and to act like she wasn't purposely trying not to look at him. She didn't eat much and Pansy asked if everything was alright. Hermione smiled and replied everything was just fine, she just wasn't feeling very hungry that day.

Evening came and Hermione was dismayed to find that she was relieved about not having to confront Cedric all day. She wasn't even close to working out what she would say to him or how she would explain that she couldn't see him anymore. She had no idea what she was going to do when he asked why she was suddenly trying very hard to avoid him.

She went to bed and tossed and turned restlessly the entire night.

On Monday, it again proved easy to avoid Cedric without it appearing like she was trying to do just that. She took coincidentally took different routes to each of her classes than usual and since none of her classes were with Ravenclaw, she didn't have to deal with Cedric being her class.

After classes, it seemed Cedric's team was scheduled for Quidditch practice. Since she happened to have a huge amount of homework (more than normal due to her inability to concentrate as well as usual), she was again able to easily avoid seeing him or talking to him without it being obvious.

Her dread of confronting of him grew. She knew he needed to hear the truth, but somehow there was something deep and strong that prevented her from saying it. She'd readily explained to Ally and Pansy, and even Draco, so why couldn't she just tell Cedric? She didn't understand it and felt like she couldn't overcome it. It was frustrating and yet she did nothing about it.

In the late evening, when all her homework was finally finished, she headed to bed and was again restlessly tossing and turning until sleep finally caught up with her. Her dreams were many but vague so she didn't remember any of them when she awoke the next morning.

Tuesday morning was very uneventful, except for the fact that Hermione was inexplicably nervous, distracted and jumpy the entire duration of Herbology. She had an idea why she was acting so strange, but the others around her of course did not.

"Miss Granger!" Professor Sprout gave a startled shout from the other side of the room. "Do pay attention and watch what you're doing!"

The plant they were dealing with that day was a particularly sensitive and testy plant. At that moment, Hermione was distractedly pouring far too much water into its pot. Much of it was running over the side as the little plant was waving it leaves in severe protest. Hermione had been thinking too hard about other things she hadn't even noticed the excess water dripping off the table onto her shoes.

"Sorry Professor!" Hermione hastily corrected the situation and cleaned the chilly water that had made her socks damp. She gave up on the plant and began working on the mass of questions assigned to them. She'd barely written one answer down when her mind drifted back to her situation.

When she noticed Hermione's eyes glazed over and staring at the same question for nearly two full minutes, Ally nudged her friend gently. "You alright?" she asked concernedly.

"Huh?" Hermione jumped. She hadn't heard her friend speaking but had felt the nudge and Ally's questioning stare boring into her. "What was that?"

Ally blinked. "I asked if you're all right."

"Oh yes, I'm fine." Hermione answered quickly and rather unconvincingly.

Ally and Pansy exchanged glances before settling back to continue with their own assignments. They would pry later.

Hermione was trembling all over the entire walk to Grubbly-Planks' hut for Care of Magical Creatures. Her mouth was dry and though she had been attempting to rehearse things to say all morning, the words that'd she'd been trying to remember for the moment she saw Cedric fled. She couldn't understand why she was so scared and nervous about telling him the truth and could understand even less why all she wanted to do at that every moment was flee.

She saw him standing there with a friend or two as she, Ally and Pansy were making their way over. He smiled at her and excused himself from his friends to come over to greet her. The images of him lying dead at her feet flashed through her head at an alarming rate and it took every ounce of will to stay standing where she was.

"Hey." He grinned widely and Hermione felt that familiar feeling of wobbly knees at the sight. "Haven't seen you in a few days. How have you been?"

Hermione's thoughts raced in the span of a split second. What do I say? I can't be with him… I can't… he's dead… dead… You're not dead… he's dead… he doesn't exist… Tell him the truth… You have to tell him the truth… If you love him, tell him the truth… I can't avoid him forever… dead… dead…

She swallowed. "Good." She said quietly.

"Good." Cedric obviously didn't see the internal struggle going on behind her eyes. He went to hold her hand like he often did, but she moved it up to clutch her books with both arms. She kept a smile pasted on her face as his twitched ever so slightly, though he seemed to almost immediately dismiss the idea that she had moved her hand on purpose.

Ally and Pansy exchanged worried glances again, though neither Cedric or Hermione noticed.

Professor Grubbly-Planks started the class, which turned out to be a class filled with questions, assignments and diagrams rather than a practical class. Hermione was totally relieved as she had been petrified of what was going to happen when she had to get a partner. The students settled on the browning grass to complete all the assignments given.

Hermione worked very hard and was quiet the entire time, putting all of her energy into concentrating solely on the task before her. Any conversations directed at her, especially from Cedric, she answered shortly but politely. Ally and Pansy continued to exchange glances and Cedric seemed increasingly confused as to why Hermione was coming off coldly, though he didn't comment.

She avoided his eyes the whole time.

Hermione's stomach was churning guiltily and she had an unpleasant feeling of something hanging over her head. She knew it was the fact that she hadn't talked to him yet, hadn't explained her coldness, and most of all, hadn't merely just told him the truth.

At the bell signaling the end of class, Hermione's books were already shut and put away in her bag. She hurriedly helped Ally pack her things before grabbing her wrist and speeding away across the grounds.

"Hermione! What – " Ally started to ask and had to jog hard to keep up with Hermione.

"Just wait!" Hermione hissed and practically hauled Ally up the steps into the castle.

Ally made an irritated sound but didn't comment further until they had reached the Charms classroom. Hermione dashed in and chose a seat at the back of the classroom where she had Ally sit down beside her. Not surprisingly, they were the first two students there.

"Now will you please explain to me what's going on?" Ally said in exasperation. Hermione opened her mouth to speak but Ally kept going. "Why have you been acting weird all day? Why are you not looking at or talking to Cedric all of the sudden? Why were you in such a ruddy hurry to get here and leave the rest of our friends down at Grubbly-Planks' hut? And why, after so many classes of sitting with Cedric in Charms, are you going to suddenly sit on the opposite side of the classroom with me?"

When the flow of questions from Ally ceased, Hermione took a steadying breath and very briefly explained her dream a few nights ago to Ally. Ally seemed annoyed at first when Hermione began talking but when Hermione had finished explaining the dream, Ally nodded understandingly.

"So now you think that since Cedric doesn't exist in the world you're trying to get back to, there's no way you can fall in love with him now?"

Hermione nodded glumly as a few students filed in to take their seats.

"And you haven't talked to him yet?"

Hermione shook her head.

"And… you think that when you explain everything to him, he won't believe you and will be angry or laugh at you, only making this whole thing ten times harder?"

Hermione nodded again, her eyes stinging unexpectedly with tears.

Ally sighed. "Well, I don't blame you. But what exactly are you going to tell him – when you tell him, that is?"

"The truth." Hermione replied quietly. "And hope for the best, I suppose."

Ally nodded slowly. "Well, although it will likely be extremely hard, I do think it'd be the best idea."

Hermione was about to protest though she knew her friend was right when Ally continued.

"Before you say anything, think about how it would be if you lied to him before you went back. You could never come back to tell him the truth or apologize for lying to him. You tell him the truth – like what you told me – and he may not believe you or he might laugh or get angry, but at least you'll know you told him the truth."

Hermione stared at the desk and blinked back the tears she did not want to shed in the middle of a Charms classroom that was fast filling up.

"Besides, if he really loves you, it'll all work out." Ally reassured.

Hermione said nothing. What her friend said made a lot of sense, but at the same time, Hermione did not want to hear the word "love" in reference to Cedric. It was only going to make things a hundred times harder.

"And don't leave it for too long or it will only get harder." Ally added. "Look at how hard it's becoming after only a few days."

"Yes, I know." Was all Hermione could think to say.

At that moment, Cedric walked into Charms, followed by the friends he'd bee standing with down at Grubbly-Planks' hut. His smile faltered when he spotted Hermione sitting on the far side of the room with Ally, as he and Hermione had taken to sitting together in one of the middle rows on the near side of the room.

Hermione looked up and turned rather pink as the look on his face made it clear he was thoroughly confused and a bit hurt. He kind of half-smiled at her, searching for some sort of reassurance. She wanted to smile back and she almost did. But then his dead form filled her mind again and all she could do was look away.

Ally offered Cedric a sympathetic smile as he sat in a heap with someone else. Pansy sat behind Ally and Hermione with Draco. It was less than a minute after Flitwick had blazed into class and Pansy was already discreetly passing a note to Ally.

What's wrong? It read in Pansy's bubbly script.

Ally glanced at Hermione who was feverishly taking notes. Later. She wrote and passed the note back to Pansy.

The rest of class went by fast and uneventfully. Flitwick mercilessly gave them a massive amount of homework to have completed for their next class even though many of them had not completed last classes stack of assignments. At the bell, Hermione was out of her chair so fast, Ally didn't even have time top close her textbook before Hermione was heading out the door.

Hermione was just about on the sixth floor when a panting Cedric finally caught up with her.

"Hey, I called your name like ten times. You deaf or something?" He joked, still half-jogging to keep up with her. "Didn't you hear me?"

"Er… no." She truly hadn't.

"Well – hey, slow down, will you?" he chuckled and pulled lightly on her arm to slow her down. "Where's the fire?"

She didn't answer and plowed on, her head bowed down. He caught her arm a second time and pulled her to a stop.

"Okay, honestly Hermione. What is wrong?" he let go of her elbow. "Why were you sitting with Ally in Charms? And acting all… I don't know… in Care of Magical Creatures?"

Hermione stared at her shoes, biting her lip. This was it. She had to tell him now.

When she didn't answer right away, Cedric asked, "Is it me? Did I do something? Are you mad at me?"

"No." Hermione looked up quickly to answer him. She only held his eyes for a moment before dropping them again.

"Well… you're kind of acting like it." he paused. "If it's not me, then what is it?"

Tell him. She thought. Just explain like you explained to Ally.

But again, there was that… that something holding her back. She thought about what it would be like to see him laughing at her and thinking her story was a good joke. She thought about what it would be like to see him angry and confused as to why she was treating him this way. She thought about what it would be like to see him just accept her story with worries or doubts.

Tell him the sodding truth.

And she was going to – she really was! But when her eyes met his, all the words and her story and everything died in her throat. She went completely blank and couldn't bear to hurt him or herself. So she said what came to her mind next.

"I…" she started and he waited expectantly. "I… I'm… really stressed about Quidditch." she exhaled and wanted to stamp on her own foot or knock her head against a wall.

Cedric, however, grinned and laughed. "That's all? Really?"

She nodded guiltily.

He laughed again and Hermione found she never wanted to here that laugh used against her. It was far too pleasant a sound to her ears for that.

"Gee, I was worried it was something more serious than that." He said.

Hermione forced a wobbly smile. "More serious than Quidditch? Is there such a thing?"

Cedric laughed again.

I sounded like Wood. Hermione thought and kept her forced smile on. She hated herself for not being able to just say it and walked beside him until they were forced to part ways. He kissed her on the forehead and ran to catch up with one of his friends.

In her dorm that night, after her light was turned out and she was lying in bed, she had only one thought sticking uncomfortably in her mind.

Coward.

A/n: Well, although I don't think it was one of my best chapters, I AM rather happy with out how it turned out. But let me know what YOU think!