A/N:
pgsca: Thank you! and that I will deliver.
Talitha2: Yes! It's my first fanfic and I'm glad you think my writing is awesome sauce:D We all knew it wouldn't happen but I didn't expect Bo to be THAT harsh on dismissing our baby Tammy. Thank you for your review!
valkyrielove: Yes! And I am continuing this because of your reviews. Thank you for your kind words.
valkyriebabe: Thank you very much for your input!
Rosie: I will in the future chapters. Thank you for your review!:)
and to all the GUESTS! Thank you so much for your words:D It means a lot.
Thank you for all the reviews so far. You guys are incredible.
I have decided to move A/N and my replies to the guests/readers up here. As you all know I will continue to write this story. I intend to reach seven chapters and maybe at the end I'll add an epilogue aswell hehe
I have no beta, all grammar mistakes are mine.
Valkubus shippers prepare to be satisfied. Others can also enjoy (or not) :D Nevertheless, constructive criticisms are always welcome.
P.S: Bo has a new apartment, as in a cool one.
P.P.S: Reviews keep me going! So please comment and say whatever you want to say:)
P.P.P.S: I might update everyday or every other day, depending on how much homework I have and depending on how much I care XD
I sadly do not own Lost Girl.
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You're my favorite type of night.
Sadly, not in a good way but all in the same context.
At least now, every time I sleep, my thoughts are occupied by you.
Not that it never was.
On Saturday morning, Bo eventually had the courage to get up and do something productive in her life. She felt that if she were to mope over someone, she might as well do it in a less destructive, non-depressive type of way. This, of course, will only be shown on the outside. She hurt nonetheless the same on the inside.
She had to show the others that she was fine. She had to. She was always in control of her emotions and after days of contemplating whether she should get her shit back together, she had finally realized that Tamsin will never come back for her.
It hurts to accept that fact.
She hasn't been in the Dal for two weeks, and her grandfather had been sending Dyson to check up on her to see if she was still alive.
Good news, she was.
Bad news, it's an empty kind of alive.
She got out of bed and checked herself in the mirror. She had no make-up, no black smudges around her eyes, which always indicated that she was crying. Well I was. Even angrier and frustrated by the day. She took hold of her long jet black hair and firmly tugged through the knots that formed, presumably from her tossing and turning the night prior. I dreamt of her again, and this time, her act of fleeing was even harsher than the last.
Bo would wake up sweaty, her heart galloping like it was about to burst out of her ribcage and she would always be breathless. She'd calm down eventually because she is again, overwhelmed and reminded of the fact that Tamsin honestly did leave her.
No amount of days can make me regret that fact. No amount of nights can make the pain any less bearable.
How easy would it be for you to take away my pain, Tam. All you have to do is be here. With me.
She had dreamed of it countless times it can be officially classified as a nightmare. The same scenario plays:
It was at the crack shack two years ago. A blackout had ensued due to an unforeseen storm-like weather. It was dark as night, with only candles casting a soft glow amidst the mess of her home. The ambiance was surprisingly relaxing despite the harsh rumbles of the thunder outside.
Her hope lessens and lessens every time she dreamed of this particular occasion. But then again, there was no point in being hopeful. Even in her dream, she hadn't stopped Tamsin from leaving. She would try to will her dream-self to reach out to Tamsin for the third time after being rejected and when she thinks she had finally took control, Tamsin would back away slowly and deliberately. Her head would shake and the look of utter disbelief would formalize on her face. Her eyebrows close-knit and her nose open and close in exasperation. Her eyes would wander wildly at Bo's face, like she was searching for an explanation as to how a person could possibly crush her young and innocent heart as brutally as this.
But Tamsin already did receive her answer: "I love you, I do, but not like that."
What jabs Bo's heart the most was the pain that was cemented onto her beautiful face after hearing what she had said. Bo would reach out, and she wouldn't be able to catch Tamsin in time. By the end of it all, she'd find herself clutching space, hugging air.
I wish you were smiling, even when you left to say goodbye to me forever.
No words can explain how much Bo wanted to rip her tongue out for saying that complete and utter lie. Yet she didn't realize how much of an impact she had caused to the blonde until weeks later, when Tamsin never came back to their house or at the Dal. Never showed up for her birthday, or anyone else's. She solidly looked for her for a whole year and she was nowhere to be found. It was as if Tamsin was completely wiped out off the face of the earth.
She even went to different realms, except for Valhalla. Because of her previous unwelcoming visit and the mayhem she had caused, she had been completely shunned from ever returning to that place.
That's the only place left, I know you're hiding in there Tamsin.
Bo stopped daydreaming and sat back down to her bed. The list of things that could be done for today are endless and yet she made no resolute movement.
I have to let go. I have to live without you.
She took a quick shower, blow dried her hair and braided the top half up, and leaving the rest to flow down. She figured she can try and look presentable and opted for a figure-hugging black tank top and black skinny jeans. She shrugged in her dark red leather jacket and held onto the handle of her wardrobe to zip up her three-inch heeled boots. She brushed copious amounts of mascara onto her eyelashes, applies her signature black eyeshadow and bites her lips to make them appear redder.
She stares into the full length of the mirror and tries to compliment herself. She doesn't look bad at all. In fact, if people were to see her now, no doubt they would be completely enamored by her. Even without using her powers.
But the efforts are rendered useless when she knows she's totally not in the mood to impress anyone. Nonetheless, she forced a gleeful smile, which in turn creeped her out. She closes her mouth and she sighs slowly in defeat. Why am I doing this again?
A door can be heard closing downstairs, and she didn't feel threatened at all. Probably just Dyson doing his morning "rounds".
She slowly descends the staircase and walks into the living room and is surprised by the sight of Lauren.
I haven't seen her in awhile. A small wave of anger washes through her being and all of a sudden, her face becomes a little too hot. She quickly willed herself to recover until it got the best of her.
Hello, Bo greets Lauren with a careful smile. She eyes her up and down and her face forms an expression of what looks like confusion, but it was gone before Bo noticed. Her smile turns into a small grin. You look..amazing. She compliments shyly Where are you off to?
Oh..Hi Bo says. Dark Fae Club she continues, not wanting to drag on another useless small talk.
Oh says Lauren, oblivious to the laborious tone Bo seems to be using. I was wondering if you wanted to hang out? I mean we haven't seen each other for so long, I figured you wanted some company? She suggests, genuinely wanting to know how the other woman was doing.
I was really looking forward to this. I haven't been outside my house in a while. This time, Bo made sure that her tone insinuated a hint of indignation.
Sorry, Lauren says, taken aback. She is confused by Bo's sudden change of demeanor What exactly is it that I've done that has gotten you so riled up lately? She voiced out, turning into defense mode.
You know what Lauren?! Never mind, go home. Bo wanted to explain, but she took advantage of Lauren's uptight and curious attitude to hopefully drive her out of her fucked up life once and for all.
You know what, what Bo? Go on, continue! I have been exhausted and I wanted to come to you! I haven't seen you in like.. two weeks! She pauses, seeming to contemplate what she has to say next, and then a look of realization washes over her face Do you have someone else?! Lauren proclaims, feigning not to look hurt.
Bo abruptly turns around and tries not to burst out laughing. Is she fucking kidding?! She goes to the kitchen counter and sits on one of the chairs. She looks to where Lauren was standing and sees right through, focusing on the bookcase behind her instead. The amount of indifference she felt at this moment is completely beyond her.
Answer me, Bo! Lauren states, stiffly. What's making you act like this?! Is it Dyson?! Her disbelief shows even more clearly now.
You really want to know the truth? Bo says in eerie calm, she slightly puts her head down and looks as though she's picking invisible lint on the table by the movement of her hands from Lauren's field of view. She inhales and exhales deeply before saying: It's Tamsin. She tries to keep a straight face. She can't break down in front of Lauren.
Lauren scoffs. Bo raises her head up swiftly.
Really?! Tamsin? Wasn't she gone like one million years ago? Lauren says smirking, while walking to Bo's direction. Lauren had an air of haughty all over her. Surely you can't be serious? She rolls her eyes.
Secretly, Lauren was glad Tamsin is gone. One less competitor makes this game so much easier. She doesn't understand how Bo had become so distant, but assuming with all the hot sex they have been having for the past month, it clearly showed that Bo was in efforts to keep her. Maybe we could go back to normal. They could be together again. She could continue developing a serum to lessen Bo's libido. And that I have been doing for these past few weeks She gloats in a singsong voice within herself.
An evidently offended Bo stands up and with purposeful angry strides, she meets Lauren halfway.
You are certainly something else. She grabs a hold of Lauren's wrist, and yanks her close to her face. Bo's head pounds as sees red due to her blinding fury.
Ow! Lauren shouted as she pried herself from Bo's death grip. What the fuck is wrong with you! She exclaimed.
You know what, this was all your fault. She uttered lowly, but her voice was seething with anger. If only you hadn't lured me into your bullshit, things would have been so much different right now! Bo says through gritted teeth.
I'm done with you Lauren! Get away from here or so help me, you will have yourself torn into pieces. Bo says, ensuring that every word burns the other woman like a hot poker prodding through skin.
She lowered her eyes and saw Lauren's body visibly wince. She didn't wait for a reaction as she took a step back and walked towards the living room to take her car keys. With her back to Lauren, she slightly turns her head to the side to say You know where the spare keys are, I better not find you here when I get back before hastily departing out the door.