Standing Resistance

Chapter 7

"I would, I still would."

Her words echoed inside Merlin's mind as he stared at the woman who haunted him in his dreams, in his wake and in his sleep. He couldn't decide whether or not they were precious fantasies and memories to keep close to his fragile yet at the same time hardened heart, or if they were nightmares that threaten to finally engulf his sanity whole after all this time that destiny has set for him.

But now, in an answer to a question that was meant to be reminiscent and lighter than it was meant to be, her answer held a deeper, heavier meaning that left Merlin paralysed, with an unbelievable amount of relief, joy bursting in his chest, and with the strong urge to press himself against the woman who right now stood by his front door, who, through another question and another matter, admitted and finally joined him to succumb to the passion between them both.

And by the gods, was she beautiful. She barely had any make-up on her face, her glossy locks down in waves that draped on her back and shoulders, if not a little dishevelled, and she wore a deep scarlet velvet coat over her sea green dress. Her apparel made him remember back to the times when she used to hide beneath her cloaks and hoods as she sneaked from Camelot's sleeping citizens to plunge herself deeper into the woodland near the castle, deeper into her thirst for blood and vengeance. But in her eyes, he could finally see the old Morgana pushing to the surface and shone through the darkness that had claimed her from a time long passed. Finally. After all my waiting, she came back to me.

Now, it's her turn to be the light to my darkness, and I the darkness to her light.

For he knew he was still bitter to the world, and despite him still being the same man as he was when kingdoms dominated the land, he was still in the shadow of his past, and it would be her, her presence, her mere essence, that would help him to reacquaint with his old self.

Morgana licked her lips nervously as Merlin stared at her with something in his gaze that she could not read. His face revealed nothing as he clutched at the doorknob with his knuckles turned white, and he merely just stood as he watched her fidget under his intense stare. "Merlin?"

At the call of his name, it seemed that Merlin's absent focus snapped back to Morgana, and he grinned, smiling with true happiness after too long a time, and with all the force he could muster, clung to her as he dared not to put any distance between their bodies, and fused their lips into one.

The morning's first glows of light streamed through the wide windows as they lay in a tangled heap of sheets. Morgana pressed light kisses across Merlin's jaw line as he clutched at her waist, his eyes hooded with sleep trying to overcome him.

Oh, how she deserved to have these moments, to have this man's arms wrapped around her with compassion and care and love, she had no idea. She knew she had no right to this happiness that was given to her, even if they would have to be cut short by cruel fate.

Merlin's half closed eyes stared back into hers as she watched him begin to doze off under the morning light. The sun's rays from behind him formed a halo around his tousled hair, darker than the midnight sky, and his pale skin shone under the light with a thin sheen of sweat. Morgana smiled. He always did stick out like a sore thumb, with his heart and soul, like a piece of night under the mid-noon sun. His limbs entangled with hers as his arm was slung over her equally nude form, and a smile ghosted his lips as they listened to each other's breathing, watched each other's eyes and lips and skin with wonder, and both for different reasons, contemplated on how in the world they managed to be lucky enough to have the other in their arms, content, happy, and even just for these few cherished seconds, they wouldn't miss it for anything else.

She smiled in remembrance at the gentle words of adoration and worship whispered into her ear as they had made love the night before. With each caress and soft touch, each slow and careful kiss that was showered upon her, Morgana was reminded over and over again just how much Merlin reciprocated her feelings, her passion, and her desires that bonded them together, and it was glorious. Their skin hummed with a very much different magic with each touch and stroke, and their experience from the evening that was last was far from the usual burning and explosive heat and rage that they shared. It was soft and tender, each movement filled with emotions each wanted to convey to the other, and it was new, and, oh, it was wonderful.

But deep in Morgana's mind, she was keenly aware of just how much this truly was meant to be treasured.

She was living a lie. She knew she was. And she was dragging him right with her into this untruth. She will snap them out of this illusion, sooner or later. But she picked later. She was too selfish, because she knew that she would only get this scrap of happiness if only it were built on lies and deceit, and she knows that if she didn't do this, she'd go insane. Because if she didn't, she would never have any other chance to show Merlin how much he meant to her, and how much she loved him.

She suddenly had the urge to feel as much of him as she could, and soon the light pecks of her lips deepened as her teeth scraped and nipped at his skin and her open kisses pressed harder, her hands slid and roamed across his body as they neared to the part between his legs with building anticipation.

Merlin caught her wrist just before she could cause the death of him, his consciousness suddenly very much awake, with a teasingly scolding expression as he rubbed circles around her hand. But his stirring manhood and the tightening and restless hand that held her waist gave him away.

"Continue that and you won't have any more rest nor sleep before you'd have to go to work later today," he said jokingly, but they both knew better that it was anything but.

Morgana's delicate brow rose as her pout turned into a smirk. "I didn't know you had it in you to thwart my plans once more, Emrys, nor did I know you had any plan to go to work this morning," she retorted, and freed her wrist as she gripped his stiffening member for a moment before letting go just as fast and patted his hip with mock resignation. His hold tightened around her as his hand went to her hips and pulled it closer against his own, small moans escaping their lips and their eyes fluttering close as the fresh memories of last night filled their minds. But Morgana forced herself away from his touch, much to his annoyance and irritation.

"But I guess one day's pay is just so important to a man who's been saving up money for over a thousand years, so I best be off then."

Merlin let out a growl from his throat as she began to stand from the bed and he wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her back to him where he knew she was to rightfully stay, just like he had before in that day inside that dim, narrow closet in what seemed like a distant memory. "I think we have some unfinished business, Ms. Penn," he whispered into her ear as he pressed his lips against its shell. Merlin felt her shiver in his embrace and he pulled her back onto the mattress beneath him, and began pressing hot kisses against her cheek, her jaw, her neck, and down to her chest. "You're mine."

He was rough and hot and needy this time, and she was not at all adverse to the change of pace. His possession and claim over her fully reawakened her need to taste and feel him, and she pulled him back up to her face to kiss him senseless. But as he hovered over her, she noticed the small pinch between his brows as he looked down on her with worry, with fear, and a slight nervousness, as if she would disappear any moment. It was a feeling she was very much acquainted and familiar with, and she wanted to ease it through her too believable and too seemingly-real lies. Morgana lifted her hand to brush her thumb against his sharp cheekbones as her palm cradled his face, his eyes peering down to her through his matted bangs.

"Please, don't leave me again."

Morgana's heart stopped and shattered in her chest as her eyes, flooding with tears, stared back at the scared and broken expression on his face. Her tears slid down from her eyes and into her hair as she desperately tried to reassure him with kisses of doses of fraudulence. She could not use her voice, for she did not want to lie with her words any longer, and decided to comfort him in silence with her lips and her touches.

"Don't cry," Merlin pleaded in a whisper as he wiped her tears with his long fingers. Morgana leaned into his hand as they remain in a tight embrace when he fell to lie beside her. Now, the sunlight was cast upon his form rather than against it, and now she could see clearly the redness of his eyes and that one slight quiver of his lips as he laid his head on his pillow.

No, they shouldn't spend their time together in tears. She wouldn't let them. How did they even come to this? They teased, they were happy, but how does it always end up with them holding their broken and hopeful hearts? And so Morgana gave him a small grin and pecked him on the lips. She received a shaky smile in return that turned steady and cheeky, her only warning to brace herself for what she had gotten herself into.

Merlin grabbed both her wrists and pinned them above her head as he moved to support himself back on top of her with that mischievous glint in his eye. He pressed more kisses as he bucked his hips onto hers and left trails on her skin, her back arching into him more and more each time his mouth pressed on her with her tangled fingers tightening in its grip at the larger hand that constricted hers.

This, she decided, was bliss, deceit or no.

AN: Hello dearies, and here is the reposted and complete seventh chapter! :)) I tried to write it as fast as I could. Unbeta-ed, as I always tell you, and it's so damn early right now so I don't think I edited and proofread it well enough. Nonetheless, I hope you guys enjoyed, and please do leave a review! You know I'm always more than happy to hear your thoughts. :D