A/N: This was hard for me to write because I tried my best to be descriptive with the dialogue. Mid-season finale was boring as hell. (Ehem.. #OhBoyYes)
Also,an emotional chapter ahead. A lot of Tamsin! I tried as hard as I can not confuse y'all with who's talking with who. I know I made Tamsin into a mad woman but as a Valkyrie, I felt like this was her true nature: impetuous and super blunt. So get ready! (S/O 2 Aliya pears)
I am happy inside my little Valkubus bubble. I will thoroughly disregard anything that happened after 5x07 lol
team-valkyrie: I know right! It's going to be one hell of a ride! Thank you for reading and reviewing! :D :D
camille729b: I would never! o: I'd certainly let you guys know if I was busy as f but other than that it wouldn't really be in my best interests to abandon a story. Thank you for your review!:D
zigfiction: Thank you so much for your review, I'm glad you enjoy it :)
guest: Oh yeeahh Ta-da! Here it is lol Thank you for your review! :D:D
I don't own Lost Girl because ahhhhh so much Valkubanging if I did ahhhh.
VERY IMPORTANT: I have exams in the next two weeks. I cannot guarantee updating in the usual 2-3 days span. Sorry for the inconvenience.
EDIT: I have got so much grammar mistakes on this chapter! I'll edit this again tomorrow.
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…Tamsin?
At that exact moment, Bo's heart stood still and she immediately forgot how to breathe. Her thoughts were racing in and out and it struggled to form some sort of coherence, threatening to clash inside of her mind. She felt like her brain was about to explode.
She was in so much denial with what she saw that she tried to convince herself that she was dreaming. She manages to pull herself together when she felt conscious of her surroundings as she stood there staring at blank space.
She remembered that nothing or no-one foreign can go down into Trick's study as a result of an enchantment he set up a few years back. There were a lot of fae getting too advanced for their own good and this type of spell senses fae or people with bad intentions. If these unknown monsters were to come down not even halfway, it would trigger two short loud beeping noises around the pub.
The study was only for the people that Trick knew.
She's here. She took deep breaths to try and restart her splintered heart. Oh my god, she's here.
Why was she running? Did she see me?
Afraid of the thought of losing Tamsin again, Bo panicked and willed herself to walk one foot after the other, trying to make sense of what's about to happen.
What will I tell her? I have so much to say.
x
"Bo." She heard a gruff voice behind her.
She stopped walking and turned around, knowing full well who's voice it belonged to.
"Dyson.." She looks at him, piercing daggers with her eyes. "Don't tell me you know about this too." She said through gritted teeth.
The wolf just stood there without saying anything. It was as if him and Bo had a staring competition. After ten seconds of not answering, Bo's face contorts into that of anger mixed with disbelief. She shook her head from side-to-side, never failing to be thoroughly surprised as the time passed by.
She turns back around and continues to walk toward the direction where she last saw Tamsin. She starts to descend, ducking her head as she did so as the ceiling was way too low. The sudden rush of cold air makes her momentarily shiver, the shock of it contributing to her already erratic heart. She felt as if every single step had ten more after thus making the journey seem long. The sound of her own footsteps and the constant pounding in her chest now synchronize, her breath hitching as the blood rushes throughout her whole body, making her feel slightly woozy.
She reaches the end and held onto the crumbling handles of the staircase. She felt like she was about to faint. She heaved a slow breath of air when she saw a familiar, hunched over silhouette of a woman she never thought she'd see again.
x
Tamsin quickly ran down to Trick's study and searched for the book that contained a great amount of alcoholic recipes. She found it hard to explain what type of beverage she wanted the Elder to create because it was an ancient and traditional booze that consisted of everything and anything nice plus an incantation. She used to drink in Valhalla.
What better day to drink it than today.
She took five heavy-looking books from the shelf and splayed them across the table. She took hold of the first one and rapidly scanned across the pages, her eyes squinting as she did so.
I'm pretty sure I dog-eared that shit here somewhere.
After finishing the first one, she irritatingly grabs the second out of the pile and slams it into the table. She realizes now that this was the book after scrutinizing every single image. She rapidly flipped through the books' contents, chapter after chapter. She was even more determined that she remembered what section it was on.
I haven't had one of those in months! Ugh!
x
She heard a noise behind her and she abruptly stopped, her left hand frozen midway through a page.
Ever so slowly, she used her right hand to reach for a throwing knife in the jacket pocket of her coat. After coming in contact with the coldness of the metal, she spun around and darted the sharp blade into the direction of where she had heard the sound.
She was surprised to see that the person she had nearly hit was someone she never ever wanted to see again.
What the hell..?
Tamsin took on the sight before her and locked eyes with the person from afar. She accessed the woman using her periphery, looking for a reaction to see if she had hurt her or hit her somewhere vital. She saw her throwing knife firmly pinned against the wall, narrowly missing the brunette's throat by an inch, she estimated.
A shocked expression was plastered on the other woman's face. Tamsin saw her raise her hand up to cover the side of her neck then brought her hand up near her face to examine the dark red liquid that streaked across her palm.
Tamsin dropped her gaze to the floor, suddenly feeling melancholic.
x
Bo forgot how think altogether. She heard a whoosh that went past her ear and landed with a dull thud behind her. She felt a warm, tingly sensation at the side of her neck as a small slit started to open itself. She was stunned, but wasn't caught off guard.
She knew that the Valkyrie had killer reflexes. She was even more surprised that Tamsin had missed, because if she hadn't, she would've dropped dead seconds ago.
She took a little bit of energy from the air and the wound closed up almost instantaneously, her skin back to its flawless and unmarred form.
She didn't think this day would come. Before she knew it she was rushing into the blonde, not fully understanding how or why.
x
Tamsin is taken aback, and she finds herself slowly, but surely, coming apart on the inside. She found the whole ordeal unnerving enough and with Bo adding sentimentality to the accidental reunion, she thought:
I don't know what to make of this anymore.
She doesn't dare move a single muscle to reciprocate as the brunette's clutch tightened around her waist.
x
Bo slackened her hold but kept her hands slightly above Tamsin's hipbone . They both stood there for a long time, apparent of the shock of seeing each other again, trying to control their ragged breaths and beating fragile hearts.
After what seemed like an eternity, Bo slowly raised her brown eyes to meet the familiar icy-greens. She could barely see the emotions pooling in them due to her looking downwards but she could see them shimmering. It looked as if Tamsin was burning a hole into the wooden floor beneath them.
Bo shook her head from side-to-side. She couldn't believe that Tamsin was really in front of her, holding her.
Solid and in one piece.
She continued to gaze intensely at her face, studying every single detail. Tamsin's eyebrows were furrowed. She had a tiny cut at the side of her cheek, and Bo wondered how it got there. Then, she ran her eyes over her new short hair, thinking to herself how well it complimented her slightly tan and glowing skin.
She attempted to coax Tamsin into looking at her in the eyes by lifting her hand to reach for the side of her face.
Completely aware of Bo's intentions, Tamsin's facial expression formalizes into that of a scowl. She roughly shoves Bo away from her and before the brunette could react, she walks over toward one of the couches, sits down and puts her elbows on her knees and her hands over her face.
I am not drunk enough for this.
x
Bo begins to feel ashamed and stupid standing there with her hands still hovering in the air.
She felt nauseated by Tamsin's harsh actions but she insisted herself to be strong, her mind continuously milling over the words "It's now or never."
She walked over to where Tamsin was sitting, stopped right in front of her and crossed her legs to sit down on the carpet.
"I-.." Bo starts with a shaky breath. "Tamsin.."
Tamsin takes both of her hands off of her face, leans back and for the first time in nearly three years, stares back into those brown eyes, looking deep inside of Bo's soul.
"I don't know where to start.." Bo continued, feeling determined to talk now that she knew Tamsin was watching her.
"Why did I even think that Kenzi was able to pull this through." Tamsin suddenly spoke, her voice laced with mistrust.
Upon hearing Tamsin speak, Bo's heart soared with joy. For her, that simple sentence gave her enough validation that the Valkyrie was truly right in front of her and that she isn't just a figment of her imagination.
"You look different." Bo said softly, persuading Tamsin to talk further.
"No shit." Tamsin said in the same breath.
The air was suddenly thick with agitation. Both women felt unease.
"Well look, great talk. I gotta run." Tamsin said, slapping her hands on her thighs and then stood up.
"Tamsin, wait! I have things to tell you." Bo puts her hands out in front of her and grabs a hold of Tamsin's legs.
"Don't tell me you're going to apologize.. or explain your behavior. You're nearly three years late." Tamsin uttered lowly as she tried to break free, wriggling her legs out of Bo's arms.
"That's not fair! I couldn't find you!" Bo nearly shouted, her arms pinning against Tamsin's legs so hard it gave out and she was forced to sit back into the couch again.
x
"All of the things I want to say, they're boxed up inside me Tamsin and right now, they're just about to burst out of my chest." Bo explained. She was afraid that Tamsin would try and escape from her again so she continued to hug her legs, even tighter when Bo felt like the blonde was trying to get free.
If someone were to walk in on them now, it would look as if they were having a little couples banter, but they knew it was far away from that.
"Well, I'll save you the hassle." Tamsin stopped struggling altogether. Feeling defeated, she heaves a deep sigh.
"I think I'll forever feel lonely because of you." She stated solemnly.
x
"No, please don't say that.." Bo quietly pleaded.
"No Bo, you had all that time to explain to me when I was asking you all those questions back at the shack."
"You left me with everything AND a heartbreak." Tamsin sneered at Bo's direction, her head held high and feeling confident that she finally got the upper hand this time.
"The ball was always on your court-" She stops herself, seeming to contemplate if the words she was about to say next were sensible enough "-and because of you, I can never open up or give my all to someone ever again."
"I-" Tamsin pointed to herself sternly "-suffered a great deal for you-" she pointed at Bo "-to be okay with Lauren a-and with Dyson.."
"I was there with my shiny, brand-new and clingy Valkyrie self. It may not look like it, but I tried so hard to understand. But as always.. I was never good enough for you."
"Tamsin-" Bo interjected.
"No! Allow me to explain.." Tamsin spoke hoarsely as she struggled to be free yet again from Bo's embrace. She manages to get one of her legs out of Bo's arms and with it, she kicked the brunette with enough strength for her to let go of the other one.
Bo was beyond shocked, but she just sat there looking dejected as she rubbed a part of her shoulder trying to help relieve itself from the impact.
Tamsin was now meters away from Bo, pacing back and forth, taking her time with what she wanted to say next.
"I taught you strength, you gave me weakness. Never give up, you said. I was a good person, you said-"
"-FUCK BO!" This time anger completely devoured Tamsin and Bo flinched at the acidity of her words.
"Time and time again you threw the towel over things I was supposed to help you through!" Tamsin shrieked in exasperation.
"I kept thinking over and over and over again if it was worth the try and yet you failed to comply! What's worse is that I didn't even see it coming! I was too busy being open and vulnerable for you, so you could realize what you have in front of YOU!" Tamsin roared, pain now visible in her voice.
"I was so disappointed with the years I contributed to this one-sided bond!" Tamsin's voice boomed around the small space, looking at Bo as she waggled her fingers back and forth between herself and the brunette.
"I was even.. huh..-" She smirked to herself "-I was even trying to prove myself to every single one of you. I went out of the way to help as much as I can. Do you remember that time when I took a bullet for you?!" She scrunched her face at Bo's direction, intending to deliver every single word across hoping that some sort of realization would hit the Succubus on the head faster than a bullet.
"You said that you cared for me. If I knew that sex was your version of care, I would've dropped out of that wagon a long time ago, Succubabe." Tamsin spoke in a contemptuous manner.
"I hope that you aren't the same person who is literally a deer caught in the headlights in figuring out things such as real love."
"Or maybe you did have an idea, but your heart was just too fucking pre-occupied to even notice that I had real and genuine feelings for y-"
"TAMSIN! Are you just going to speak endless and think you're going to have the last word?!" Bo blurted out before the blonde started another manifesto again.
Bo stands up and walks over to Tamsin's direction.
"I'm sorry for turning away from the good things you put out for me. I'm sorry for feeding off my problems alone, instead of knowing and realizing that I had someone to rely on." Bo continued. She was nearly close to Tamsin now but the woman intentionally back away, step by step, much like what she had seen on her dreams countless times before.
I will never let go this time.
x
Tamsin was literally on the verge of combusting upon hearing the word "sorry" over and over again. She tried to block out the things that were being said by the other woman but she found it hard not to because deep inside, she personally wanted Bo to be regretful of all the mental shit she had put her through.
"I know that a person like you can only hear so many apologies and give out so little chances." Bo was on low-spirits. She must have seriously done something really, really fucked up for her to make Tamsin act the way she's acting now. She had never seen her so out of control like this before.
"I will never forget what I've done and what I failed to do. All I want is nothing but to reverse what had happened." Bo silently confessed as she looked at Tamsin deep in her eyes.
She felt disheartened as she earned a cold-shouldered scoff from the blonde.
"You're only saying that because they all left you, Bo." Tamsin stopped walking backwards, crossing her arms in front of her.
"No. I pushed them away Tamsin. You have to believe me when I tell you that I pushed them away." Bo's thoughts flashed back at the time she talked to Lauren in her apartment and she momentarily felt furious. "I just couldn't stand being around the people who were partly responsible for your..disappearance."
"Woooow.. and NOW you realize all of this when I've finally had enough." Tamsin said in a mocking tone whilst rolling her eyes.
"I know I went way past the line when I said you were confused." And with this, Bo reached out for Tamsin's hand. When she finally grabbed portion of it, Tamsin hand balled into a fist and parts of her fingers got stuck. It was painful but she didn't let go.
I was the one who was confused.
"Well Bo, you know what.. suck it. I can't deal with another round of this anymore." The blonde forcibly yanked her arms back, never forgetting that she had already rejected Bo twice inside this emotional torture chamber.
I'm never going back in this place. Ever.
"Please Tamsin.. don't leave. Not again." pleaded the brunette, her voice cracking with pain as her heart crumbled and gave up on all methods in trying to make Tamsin stay.
"Your hair.. I-it's.. You're beautiful." Bo said in last resort as she let her tears fall.
Seeing Bo break down in front of her and hearing those simple words out of her mouth made Tamsin's willpower to falter right down to the lowest. Still, she didn't allow herself to fall for it yet as she continued to stare coldly at Bo.
How can she do this to me?!
After asking herself this question, Tamsin opened up a fraction of her heart and let Bo's words hit her. As soon as it did, Tamsin's eyes quickly brimmed with tears and she concentrated her gaze elsewhere, anywhere but at Bo's direction.
She settled for the lamp on her left side, trying to focus at it as everything she saw became hazy and clouded. The bright light seemed to occupy the whole space of her eyes as the tears obstructed her vision.
She blinked once and her tears escaped, rolling down simultaneously on the sides of her cheek.
Damn it.
x
"Tamsin..?"
Both turned promptly to the direction of the voice.
A beautiful girl with chocolate brown hair and eyes as silver as the winter moon stood two steps away from the end of the staircase.
"Olivia.." Tamsin said in a soft whisper, totally forgetting that the woman was waiting for her upstairs.
"I have to go." Tamsin made it seem like she said it to no-one in particular, making her way to the lady. She wiped the tears from her eyes whilst trying to calm the tempestuous stirring of her feelings. The storm inside, waiting to destroy her entire being, in tact.
Bo is confused.
Tamsin took a glance at Bo as she gently intertwined her fingers on the spaces between the other brunette's hand.
They both go up the stairs together, leaving Bo to her trance, not quite believing what had seen, what had happened and how it had happened so quickly.
Bo quickly snapped out of her reverie and ran across the room, taking two steps at a time up the stairway.
She scans the whole crowd yet again.
She didn't even get to say the things she wanted to say.
She felt a heavy lump in her throat and her eyes stung with forth coming tears.
Where are you?
x
Kenzi knew all too well what had happened when she saw Tamsin walk out with Olivia from Trick's study just two minutes ago.
And knowing Bo, she would go to the ends of the earth to chase the person she truly loves.
She took sight of her clearly distressed best friend as she ascended up the stairs. When she reached the top step, the light made her look like a mix of someone who wanted to faint and someone who wanted to vomit. She didn't want Bo to embarrass herself so she quickly got out of her bar stool and made her way to her.
Kenzi hugged Bo tightly and after a while, she suddenly felt herself carrying a heavy weight. She tried to hoist Bo upright but her legs gave out and they both collapse to the floor.
Bo was unresponsive, her eyes glassy. She stared blankly at Kenzi as the tears flowed freely from her eyes and into the sides of her face.
Kenzi reaches out and wipes her best friend's tears away, but it only gave room for fresh ones.
"I'm so sorry BoBo, I didn't know she was here."
A/N: SO WHO'S THE NEW GIRL? TAMSIN'S FRIENDS-WITH-BENEFITS? FRIEND? GIRLFRIEND? MEAN GIRLFRIEND? EX-GIRLFRIEND? ANOTHER VALKYRIE? FIND OUT ON MY NEXT UPDATE! REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT YOU FEEL! (Btw, Olivia looks like Nadia Bjorlin from Venice the Series. You're welcome.)
Edit: You can make up Olivia's face however you want but I suggest Xian Mikol aswell lol