Pride: This story is a tribute to Cardboard Pixie, an amazing friend, confidante and sister-figure who passed away on October the 9th. She dedicated her last moments to writing fanfiction, which she truly loved. I hope her hardwork and dedication is recognized, because she truly deserves it. Thanks for the great memories and times we had, and no matter what, we won't forget you.
Updated: 21/11/2014
They all knew that it was not a match made in heaven. But it was a match made in hell, and that was just fine too.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own One Piece or any of its characters.
Narrator's Perspective
'Thoughts'
"Speech"
"Attacks/Raised Voices"
Settings- Place and Time
Dreams
A Match Made In Hell
An One Piece original fanfiction
Recollection 4: Nobody says no to Nami!
Luffy slammed the ground with his fists, hunched over, a never-ending stream of laughter wracking his body. Tears of mirth rolled down his cheeks as his unique laughter echoed throughout the Thousand Sunny.
"Yohoho! Chopper-san! You make my stomach rumble with laughter! Although I have no stomach to speak of! SKULL JOKE! Yohohoho!" Brook joined Luffy, his misplaced skull joke doing nothing to reduce the mirth of the crew.
Sanji was rolling around in laughter, letting the knives slip out of his fingers and fly all over the ship, although no one was in the mood to point out that they were just literally inches from death.
Franky laughed so hard one of the valves on his right arm came loose and spouted cola all over the deck.
Usopp was currently gasping for breath after having laughed too much, doing a perfect imitation of a goldfish out of water.
Even Nami was engulfed in mirth as she joined the others, sprawled over the deck, caught in the throes of laughter.
They couldn't help it. It was just too much.
Chopper in his Kung-fu Point, donning lipstick and a curly green wig. To top it all off, he was trying to impersonate Jora of the Donquixote Pirates!
Luffy calmed himself down slowly, taking a few heaving breaths to steady himself, then looked at Chopper.
And promptly fell back, laughing his ass off again.
"SHISHISHISHISHISHI-"
Only Zoro and Robin were spared. The greenhead merely smiled in amusement, rare as it was, watching his crewmates' antics.
Robin's eyes twinkled in amusement, but no laughter escaped her lips.
"Oi, onna."
"Hm? Yes, Kenshi-san?"
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Zoro smirked at her.
"Ahead of you," she shot him an identical smirk.
Nami sat up straight, her hair tousled and her face a mess. Her eye liner was smudged, leaving messy tracks where her tears of laughter had streamed down her face. Her bracelet had broken from the force with which her fists pounded the ground.
As Nami slowly recovered, her breathing gradually returning to normal, she unconsciously noticed Luffy's unique laughter. She had never heard someone laugh like that before. Seriously, who even goes "Shishishishi" when they're laughing? Seriously, that was one weird captain she had.
But then again, she shouldn't be complaining, considering that she already knew that before she joined, and besides, it wasn't like anyone else on the crew was normal either.
Her tear-misted vision slowly focused on Robin sitting on her leaning chair, Zoro leaning against its side. Robin was leaning slightly forward, the only indication that she was extremely amused by Chopper's antics as well, although she didn't show it. Those two…were they even humans? They never seemed to show any emotions. Well, maybe Zoro did, but he only ever showed anger. Emotionally inept creatures, the two of them.
Instantly, Nami's curiosity was aroused. She wanted to know what they sounded like when they laughed.
But all those thoughts went down the drain when she saw what Robin was clutching in her hands.
A camera.
For all she knew, it could've been just to record the fun moments they had on the crew. But oh no, knowing Robin as well as Nami did…
"This will surely make for some good blackmail material, Kenshi-san," Robin giggled lightly, looking to the left at her green-haired companion.
"Took the words right out of my mouth. How many copies of it should I make?" Zoro grinned, showing his sharp fangs.
"I'd say…eight. Even if all seven of them tried to destroy one copy each, we'd still have one more…to achieve our needs."
"Right on it."
Nami, who had realized what was going on, stood up and charged with a demonic cry of rage.
"Oh no, we've awoken the kraken! Time to flee!" Zoro muttered to Robin, who casually tossed the camera to him.
He grabbed it, and in one smooth, fluid motion, loped off onto the second level. Nami's screams echoed behind him.
"RO-RO-NO-A- ZO-RO! YOU GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW! DON'T YOU DARE GET ANY IDEAS! AND WHO'RE YOU CALLING A KRAKEN, HUH?! THERE'S SO MANY THINGS I WANNA KILL YOU FOR! I WISH YOU HAD A MILLION HEADS SO I COULD RIP THEM OFF AGAIN, AGAIN, AGAIN AND AGAIN!"
Five hours and fifty broken pieces of furniture later, Nami finally calmed down.
'Seriously, I want to kill Zoro for that. And Robin, if I could. But I'm more interested in hearing what they'd sound like if they laughed.'
'Both of them aren't going to react to something small like a joke. Or a prank. Looks like desperate times do call for desperate measures. Sometimes, the simplest solution is the best.'
"Usopp! You have a job to do!"
The long-nosed sniper hurried to his crewmate's side, frightened and afraid he might unwittingly re-ignite the witch's fury.
"Y-yes?" he squeaked, putting a nearby mouse to shame.
"I want you to go tickle Zoro and make him laugh."
"W-whaaaatttt?!" Usopp was feeling very conflicted at the moment. Of all the things he'd expected the navigator to say, that wasn't even on the list! Moreover, he was in a dilemma whether to anger the krak- I mean, witch, or to suffer the swordsman's wrath.
Of course, he ended up deciding that he'd risk having three swords in his abdomen.
Because nobody says no to Nami.
Ain't-no-body.
He tiptoed lightly, noiselessly over to the swordsman who was sleeping peacefully against Robin's reclining chair.
Good. So far, none of them had noticed him. A few more steps, and he'd be able to accomplish his goal.
Usopp stretched out his arms, and flexed his fingers as he neared his target.
A tanned hand moved towards the hilt of Zoro's swords, making Usopp stop in his tracks.
'Shit, he knows I'm here!' sweat poured profusely down his forehead and the sides of his face.
As he was occupied in his thoughts, Usopp failed to see Robin's thin, slender hand move towards his forehead.
Flick.
"Owwww…," he rubbed his forehead which felt sore where he was flicked.
"Sniper-san, it's not nice to sneak up on someone," Robin teased as she looked at him.
Instantly, Usopp's eyes snapped up to look at the archaeologist. He ran away screaming that he wanted to live.
"Nami-san, that was very strange of you. Were you perhaps thinking to make Usopp-san steal the pictures from us?" Robin smiled at the navigator who had watched all that transpired from behind the railings of the second floor.
"Robin…," Nami gritted her teeth while glaring at the only other female on the crew.
'What was I thinking, doing something stupid like trying to make those two laugh? I should be thinking of getting those pictures back!'
Zoro's eyes shot open and he slid a hand under his haramaki, reaching for something.
He then pulled out a single photo and waved it teasingly.
'NO! UNGLAM PHOTOS! MY WORST FEARS HAVE COME TO LIFE!' thought the orange-haired navigator.
"ZOROOOO!" she screeched.
"Hand me that photo, right now! N-O-W, NOW! If you're gonna take a photo of me, you better make sure I look nice in it, dumbass!"
"Let's see…umm…nope!" Zoro smirked, further angering the kraken.
"Shitty marimo! Nobody says no to Nami-chwan!" Sanji leapt over the railings and bounded towards his rival.
"Robin," Zoro muttered to his companion, knowing that she always had a trick up her sleeve for desperate times such as these.
"Good opportunity to try the latest use for my powers," she smiled cheekily.
"Mil Fleur: Mano."
Sanji stopped in his tracks as he felt a tap on his shoulder. Slowly turning around, he came face to face with a man.
A fat, transsexual, complete with lipstick, eye-liner and a wig.
"OKAMAAAAA!" he yelled in horror, stumbling backwards.
The okama leaned forward and placed a kiss on Sanji's forehead.
Tchu~
That was it for the poor cook. He sprang backwards and fell unconscious to the wooden flooring, his soul floating out of body, and froth gathering at the edges of his mouth.
Zoro and Robin could no longer suppress their mirth at the sight of the cook sprawled out helplessly, faced with his worst fears.
Zoro cackled loudly, and soon Robin joined him, releasing streams of high-pitched giggles.
Some might have found it contagious, even music to their ears, but at that moment, any sane man (or woman, for that matter), who heard their laughter, felt chills crawl down their spines.
Yep, those two most certainly deserved their monikers of "Devil's Child" and "Demon Cutter".
They were so similar to each other, and so demonically different from others, that at times, Nami wondered if they were born and raised in the deepest depths of hell itself.
A shudder ran down her spine.
Maybe, no human says no to Nami.
But these two weren't human.
End
Pride: This chapter turned out a little cracky, and I'm not sure if that's a good thing. Initially I was debating whether to call this chapter "Nobody says no to Nami" or "Laughter", but I eventually ended up calling it the former. I felt that this chapter was a little less than satisfactory. My other chapters always have some big underlying concept, but this one…felt like it had no direction. Dear readers, your thoughts on this?
- Yours truly, Pride