Pride: This story is a tribute to Cardboard Pixie, an amazing friend, confidante and sister-figure who passed away on October the 9th. She dedicated her last moments to writing fanfiction, which she truly loved. I hope her hardwork and dedication is recognized, because she truly deserves it. Thanks for the great memories and times we had, and no matter what, we won't forget you.
Updated: 17/1/2015
They all knew that it was not a match made in heaven. But it was a match made in hell, and that was just fine too.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own One Piece or any of its characters.
Narrator's Perspective
'Thoughts'
"Speech"
"Attacks/Raised Voices"
Settings- Place and Time
Dreams
A Match Made In Hell
An One Piece original fanfiction
Recollection 8: Bad Influence
"LUFFFYYYYY!" came the furious voice of one Sanji, echoing throughout the hollow walls of the ship. The few birds that were perched atop the mast squawked in fright and flapped away for their lives.
Luffy, who was seated on the sunflower-lion-thing's head, nearly jumped out of his rubbery skin and fell off his perch, hitting the wooden planks with a dull thud.
"Owwiee…," he pouted, rubbing his head. He frowned in the direction from which the sound came, finding it strange that Sanji was throwing a riot right so early in the morning, when he should be thinking about making breakfast.
'I'm hungry, dammit!' he thought to himself, mildly frustrated.
A sea king that happened to be near the ship gave a deep-toned, indignant blare, wondering who on the Grand Line would be so crazy as to make such a racket at such an unworldly time.
It stuck its head into the ship until it was directly above the clearing, right in front of the crew's male dorms.
THWACK
The sea king groaned and sneezed as the door slammed open, hitting it's nose hard in the process. Before it could gather its bearings, Sanji walked out in only his boxers, glanced at the creature, and promptly kicked it hard, taking his anger out on it. It would suffice to say that the sea king flew to someplace it would rather have been – as far away as possible from the ship.
The cook growled and stomped towards Luffy who was seated on the ground and glared at him, trying to suppress his anger.
Luffy turned around and stared at Sanji.
One.
Two.
Three.
And he broke out into full-blown laughter.
"SHISHISHISHISHI SANJI WHAT HAPPENED – SHISHISHISHI – TO YOU?!" and rolled over the ground clutching his aching belly.
"You- ARGHH!" Sanji bit out and started stomping on Luffy as hard as he could, even though he knew that it would do nothing to damage his rubber body.
And his dense rubber brain that probably brought this upon him.
At that exact moment Nami walked out of the room she shared with Robin, rubbing her bleary eyes.
"Whuzzgoingon, guys?"
Sanji stopped kicking Luffy and turned around to face her, tears pooling in his eyes.
"Nami-chwan…this baka captain did this to me…," he whimpered like a broken puppy.
(A/N: It surprised even the writer of the story, how Sanji could change his mood so easily, not unlike a lady on her period…but the author shall refrain from mentioning that to Sanji – he doesn't want to get the shit kicked out of him, of course.)
Nami noticed how he was wearing only his boxers, but didn't mention it, for there were more pressing matters at hand.
Sanji stood in all his boxer-clad glory, with doodles of obscene articles on his chest, back, and all over his face. Someone had even gone to the extent of using lipstick and eyeliner to enhance the okama effect.
Sanji now looked like a half-naked, fitter, blonde-haired, swirly-eyebrowed version of Ivankov.
The greatest difference between Sanji and Ivankov now though would be that…he had drawings of phalluses, buttocks, nappies and other obscene things adorning – more like violating – his bare body.
"Pfft…ffft HAHAHAHAHA–" Nami keeled over laughing, tears of mirth pouring out of her eyes as she fell onto her bottom in the process.
Sanji's eyes became blurred by a red haze as he turned back to Luffy and glared at him more intensely.
"I'll kill you for making Nami-chwan laugh at me…" he then proceded to step on Luffy, punctuating each stomp with an insult.
"BAKA!"
"IDIOT!"
"BIRDBRAIN!"
"ARGH! MOTHERFUCKER!"
Up in the crow's nest, Zoro and Robin looked at each other, then chuckled darkly to themselves.
Thousand Sunny – The Previous Night
Sanji slept soundly, his arms hanging limply over the side of the bed, as a snot bubble flew out of his nostrils and burst with a nearly inaudible 'pop'.
His left leg leaned against the wall as he slept in a weird position, causing the bed sheets beneath to be crumpled.
He was so lost in dreamland that he didn't hear the light 'thump' of a person's feet hitting the ground, nor the 'click' of the cap being removed from a marker.
"Bastard…this is for dumping so much chilli powder into my food earlier," growled Zoro under his breath, and proceeded to draw a penis on Sanji's chest, with the words 'I wish I had one too' right next to it.
He raised his marker once again to continue his revenge.
"Oh, just you watch. I'm going to be the one laughing tomorrow, you swirly–"
"What are you doing, Kenshi-san?"
Zoro whirled around to find himself face-to-face with Robin.
"Onna…you- Don't you dare tell anyone about this!"
"Oh, naughty naughty Kenshi-san. Good thing I came here when I heard your footsteps. I'm preeetty sure you shouldn't be doing such things to your crewmates," she smirked at him.
Zoro grimaced, imagining the kind of mess he was going to be in the next morning when everyone found out.
"Well, I'm preeetty sure you shouldn't be in the boys' dorm either…,' he glared at her.
Robin frowned.
"Fine, I won't tell the others. But…," at this her expression darkened.
"But what?"
"…you're going to let me join in."
At this Zoro cocked an eyebrow, surprised at her request.
"I need to get back at Cook-san for trying to force me to wear that frilly pink dress on my birthday, after all…Wait a moment, I need to get something," and she whisked out of the room.
Zoro stared at the door she had left through, still surprised at the turn of events.
He began to panic when he realized that Robin might have very well gone to get Nami. Before he could even fully consider the possibility though, the archaeologist was back in the room, clutching in her dainty fingers, two tubes of lipstick and eye-liner.
"I'm sure Nami-san would not mind me borrowing her things for such a noble cause…Now, shall we get to work?" she flashed Zoro a devious smile.
"Gladly," Zoro replied with a fanged grin of his own.
"You're such a bad influence on me, Kenshi-san!" Robin mock-glared at her crewmate while leaning against the wall of the crow's nest.
"Oh? If I remember right, I wasn't the one who came up with the idea of drawing on his back as well…"
"Well, if one page of your drawing block's full of drawings, it's only common sense to turn to the next page," she smiled at him.
He grinned back at her.
"Now stay still, I'm trying to add aesthetic appeal to your hands."
She held his calloused hand and drew pictures on it, amongst which Zoro spotted starfish, mice, venus flytraps, a fluffy ball…wait, was that an attempt at drawing Chopper?
End
Pride: Hehe I particularly enjoyed writing this, hope you guys do too! And as always, I couldn't resist adding Chopper, even if it was at the very end...as a failed doodle.
Thank you DangoCorn, YukiHannah87, NebStorm, miranda and Majin no tamashi! I hope I have met your expectations with this chapter, stay awesome, all of you!
May good fortune rule over you
Peace live in your heart, and
May the stars watch over you
- Yours truly, Pride