A/n: Okay guys. If I have planned it all out correctly in my head, I think there is less than five chapters of this story left. Exciting and disappointing at the same time. One last thing, though: this chapter is dedicated to the lovely Jedi Knight Bus, aka Prongs, aka Fuzzy Moron, b/c she was the one who introduced me to the world of fanfiction. So Prongsie, this one's for you.
Chapter 27
The next couple of days passed rather similarly: Hermione went to class, worked on the Potion, worried about Ally, kept an eye on Cedric, did her homework, attended Quidditch practice, and prepared for the upcoming costume Halloween feast.
The Potion had less than ten steps to completion and had turned to a lovely almost see through, sky blue color. It had the subtle smell of a fresh water creek in springtime and when bubbles popped from it's surface, there was a tiny extra burst of fragrance in the air. Hermione started to get butterflies in her stomach whenever she worked on the Potion. Soon, she'd be able to change everything back to the way it was. A large part of her still wanted to stay, though she knew she no longer had a choice. She had to go back or she risked wrecking everything wonderful that existed in this world.
Snape or Madame Pomfrey updated Hermione and her friends on Ally's condition if there were any changes or news. For now, she hadn't gotten any worse, though she apparently was definitely not well enough to leave St. Mango's. The Healers at the hospital were so far stumped as to what was causing Ally to become so ill or how to get her well again, though they were determined to make her healthy again.
Cedric also did not seem to worsen, though he too didn't show any signs of getting better either. He continued to appear very pale and he kept having frequent headaches and dizzy spells. Madame Pomfrey decided that Cedric must have caught a little of the flu or something and she gave him some medicine to combat the headaches. The medicine did help, but not significantly, which frustrated the school nurse who prided herself on fixing any health related issue quickly and correctly.
In the evenings, once their homework was done, and Hermione and the rest of the Quidditch team had finished practicing, Pansy and Hermione spent much of their spare time designing and creating their costumes for the feast on Friday night. Pansy was having a hard time choosing which outfit she would wear. She wanted to wear a long evening gown that Marilyn Monroe had worn when she performed a musical number in one of her more well-known movies. However, the white dress she wore in a different movie, was by far the most famous of Marilyn's wardrobe.
One night when the Gryffindors were winding down after a long day and Hermione and Pansy were working on costume ideas, Pansy held up two photos of Marilyn Monroe which showed the two costume ideas she was trying to decide between. In the one on the right, Marilyn was giggling as she stood over an air vent and air blew her white skirt skywards. She held it down (more or less) and grinned flirtatiously. In the other, Marilyn was dancing across a stage in a long, bubble gum pink evening gown, complete with long pink gloves and sparkling diamond bracelets.
"Which one do you like better?" Pansy asked Vinny first, who was scrambling to finish a three foot long essay for History of Magic, due the next morning.
He glanced up quickly, startled that he was being asked for an opinion. "Um…" He glanced from one picture to the other and back again, completely clueless. He shrugged.
Pansy laughed at the expression on his face and turned the photos towards Greg instead. "All right fine then. Greg?"
Greg stopped reading his book for a moment to regard the twp pictures. He too shrugged. "Go with the white one." He said a second later.
"Millicent?" Pansy faced the photos in Millicent's direction.
Millicent cocked her head and after a moment of chewing her lip, she straightened and replied, "Definitely the pink one."
"Okay… Draco? What about you?"
Draco eyed the pictures and Pansy thoughtfully for several seconds before answering, "Well, clearly the pink one would better compliment your skin tone with your dark hair and dark eyes." He paused slightly and then added, "But the white one's hotter." He winked and everyone laughed.
"'Skin tone more'? You've been reading my Teen Witch Weekly, haven't you?" Pansy said then held the photos up for Hermione to see. "Hermione? What do you think?"
"Hmm… I think I agree with Draco." Even now, after so many weeks, it still felt so strange for such a sentence to be coming from her mouth. She brushed off the feeling and continued, "The pink one would look better with your complexion, I think. But he's right – the white one's hotter."
Another round of laughter followed this joking statement before Pansy set the pictures down on the table in front of her.
"Which one do you like better, Pansy?" Hermione asked.
"Well, the white one is much more famous, I know… but she's wearing such beautiful jewelry with the other one." Pansy sighed. "I still can't decide!"
"You're the one who has to wear it all night," Draco reminded her. "So pick the one you'll feel more comfortable in."
Pansy sighed again. "In that case, it's got to be the pink one."
"What!" Draco sat bolt up right in his chair looking mock-stricken. "Why!?"
"That white one is awfully low cut." Pansy explained. "I don't think I'd feel that comfortable wearing that at the feast."
"I would feel very comfortable if you wore that to the feast." Draco said with a straight face.
Hermione giggled as the others laughed and Pansy threw a pillow playfully at Draco's head.
"Okay! Everyone! How about we either be quiet, leave the room, and stop talking about costumes!" Vinny burst out. "Some of us only have a few hours left to finish a stupid essay!"
"Well maybe if you'd done it earlier like the rest of us…" Greg began.
"I said, 'be quiet'!" Vinny snapped and tried to return to scratching out his essay.
Hermione laughed. "Alright, alright, we'll keep it down."
"That's more like it." Vinny grumbled.
Draco rolled his eyes and made a funny face at Vinny. Pansy giggled behind her hand.
For the rest of the evening, the friends did their own thing: reading, doing other homework, working on their costumes, and other quiet activities. When it was nearly midnight and most of the others had headed off to bed, Hermione felt bad for Vinny and helped him complete his essay in less than half an hour.
The following morning, Hermione received an owl from Sirius at breakfast. Before she'd even opened the letter, she felt mixed emotions. She was happy to hear from him but sad because she knew this would likely be the last owl or letter she would ever get from him.
As she pulled out her letter, she belatedly realized that the envelope was heavy and packed with several other pieces of paper. She quirked an eyebrow and assumed the explanation would come in Sirius' letter.
" Dear Hermione,
I haven't forgotten about you, don't worry. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get a reply back to you. I've been going through a nasty flu and haven't been able to gather enough energy to sit down and write the reply I wanted to you. Finally, today, I'm feeling well enough to attempt a reply.
I got your last letter more than a week ago and it was a little… off, from your usual. I ended up talking to Dumbledore shortly after that and it sort of came up in the conversation. Just the other day he explained everything. I now know the complexity of your situation (the whole thing with the worlds mashing up if you stay).
Hermione, I am so sorry. I'm sorry you have to go through this, and worst of all, you have so many reasons pulling at you to stay. Besides all the new friends you've made, there was Amos Diggory's boy that you said you were real close friends with, and that's going to be real tough to have to leave behind. I'm so sorry you have to do this... "
Hermione's throat was clogging with emotion and her eyes were starting to blur with tears. Not particularly wanting to cry at the breakfast table with so many people around, she wisely decided to save the rest of the letter for later. She folded it up, slid it back into the stuffed envelope, and put it in her bag.
Luckily no one seemed to have noticed her extra moist or slightly red eyes, and Hermione was able to put the letter out of her mind for the time being. As she was exiting the Hall, however, there was something new to occupy her mind. Cedric, as she had just noticed, was no where in site.
Ewan was leaving the Hall at that moment too, so Hermione called out to him and then hastened over.
"Ewan, is Cedric all right?" she asked breathlessly when she'd reached him, concern welling up inside her fast. "He's not here, I didn't see him, and I thought he was going better, and he said he only had bad headaches and Madame Pomfrey was giving him medicine for that and – "
"Calm down, Hermione." Ewan put his hands up as if to stem the flow of Hermione's worried words. "He decided to sleep in this morning. Since the feast is tomorrow night, he wants to make sure he's properly rested enough to go. He was feeling particularly off color this morning so he took some of that purple stuff Pomfrey gave him and is skipping this morning's classes." Ewan chuckled and lowered his hands. "He's going to see if he can get something from Pomfrey for tomorrow night so he'll have some energy and strength to be your Prince."
Hermione exhaled as relief swept away a good portion of her previous worry. "But he's all right? He's hasn't gotten worse?"
Ewan shook his head. "I don't think so."
Hermione exhaled again. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound so panicked."
Ewan shrugged. "I would be too. No worries."
Hermione suddenly noticed how tired and sad Ewan looked. She hadn't really seen him over the past several days and when she did, it was usually from much farther away. Standing beside him and seeing him up close, however, revealed the dark circles under his eyes. He looked as though he hadn't slept in a week and like he was very upset about something and was trying to hide it. She didn't know Ewan all that well, but he was Cedric's best friend and apparently very close to Ally as well, and even Hermione could see Ewan was missing his usual spark of mischief in his eyes.
"Don't tell me you're sick too?" She said, eyeing him apprehensively.
Ewan sighed a deep, heavy sigh. "No. I'm just really worried about Ally."
"Oh Ewan… "
"Because I'm not family, they're making me wait until the weekend before I can get in to see her."
"That's us too," said Hermione quietly.
"I just…" He rubbed his eyes. "I can't sleep thinking she's lying in a hospital bed, real sick, and I'm not there with her."
Hermione dropped her eyes to her shoes. She wanted to say or do something to make him feel better, but what could she do? She was thinking about walking away as the silence between them began to stretch, when she bit her lip and impulsively threw her arms around Ewan's neck in an awkward, empathetic hug.
"She'll be all right." She said into Ewan's shoulder. "I know it." She pulled away a few seconds later.
"I hope so too." Ewan said, his eyes shining brightly with moisture.
Hermione smiled and started to walk away. She had only gone about four feet when Ewan croaked,
"Hermione?"
"Yes?" She turned to face him.
"Thanks."
It was late evening after most everyone else had gone to sleep when Hermione sat in the corner of the Common Room and retrieved her bulging envelope from Sirius. She was still quite curious about the rest of the contents besides her letter, but she silently promised she would refrain from peeking until she'd finished reading her own letter first.
She began reading at about the spot where she left off at breakfast.
" …close friends with, and that's going to be real tough to have to leave behind. I'm so sorry you have to do this.
I was trying to think of some comforting or wise-sounding words for you, other than the usual, 'It's for the best' and 'It's meant to be'. Unfortunately, I couldn't – I bet Remus could, though. He was always good at that sort of thing.
Seriously though Hermione, as cliché as those sayings may be, I think they do apply in this situation. It's going to be awfully hard to have to leave your new friends behind, like I said before, no question. But just think, Hermione, about what you're getting back! I know all about the school-saving adventures you, Harry and Ron managed to get yourselves tangled in over the past several years. All you have to do is think about how much you three (The Magic Trio!) have been through, and I think you'll find more than one reason to get things back to normal. I think I could name a dozen things off the top of my head right now if you asked me to.
Another thing – yes, there is apparently no Voldemort here, and so it appears as though there is no evil to taint this world. I can't believe that is exactly true. If there is good, I think there will inevitably be evil, whether it's lurking in the shadows biding it's time or pouring out a full frontal attack. Who's to say there isn't something or somebody out there right now who's worse than Voldemort, and is biding his or her time?
All this ties in with that 'It's all for the best' line. Now for the harder one to swallow: the 'It's meant to be' line.
As you can imagine, this one was and is a hard one for me to come to terms with. I'm all about changing my future, that nothing is written in stone, that nothing is truly 'meant to be'. When you go back to our world, I'll be long gone – another casualty of this 'new war' that you, Harry and so many others are being forced to fight. It's true, that if you stayed here, I'd probably get to keep on being this adored rock star. As nice as that sounds, I can't let that happen and neither can you. You've got to go back where I'm dead, Hermione, and don't you dare feel guilty about that.
This is going to be really hard to explain, but I'll try to anyways. I feel like I… that I am like the first domino in a whole series of dominos. That my death is just the beginning of a whole big 'master plan' that's going to bring down Voldemort for the second time – for good. I'm not sure that makes sense, and I don't really know why I feel this way, just that I do very strongly. I really believe that my death is, well, 'meant to be'. It's incredibly hard to understand, I know, because I barely understand it myself.
Let me put it this way: I believe Harry will win this. I have a powerful faith in you, Harry, Ron, Dumbledore, the Order and everyone else, that together you will come out on top. I think surely that's something to go back for: hope. Hope that this'll all be over soon.
Okay, I think I've rambled long enough and confused you thoroughly by now, and besides that, I'm really starting to lose what little energy I had to begin with before starting this letter. I'll sum this up and explain one last thing.
By now I'm sure you've noticed that the envelope I sent you is rather thick. Inside are a number of letters I wrote to different people in our world. Sort of a set of 'things I never got to say'. I don't know if they'll transfer back with you, but I'm hoping you'll figure out a way to make it work. If not, then there's no harm in trying.
As for my 'things I never got to say' to you, Hermione, here it is:
You are possibly the smartest, cleverest witch I have ever known and don't let anyone ever tell you differently. You have such a good heart and an endearing warmth about you. You are always looking out for everyone's best interests, even if they're not. I still sometimes think of the night we met in the Shrieking Shack and the way you calmly asked the perfect questions to the unexplained bits in Remus and my story. Way to keep calm and collected no matter what. Keep your chin up always, Hermione, and keep being strong.
I'm sure I'll see you again someday, one way or another.
Sirius "
Hermione was extremely glad she has chosen to read the letter now rather than earlier, and she was thankful no one was left in the Common Room by the time she'd reached the middle of the letter, as she was crying heavily. Tears streamed down her cheeks even though she kept wiping them away with her sleeves. She wanted very badly to see Sirius and say goodbye in person. She desperately wanted to see Harry again, and not Slytherin Harry, but brave and loyal Harry. Most of all, she wanted to see Ron; red haired, freckle-faced, infuriating and wonderful Ron.
When she regained her composure, Hermione thought of the other letters in Sirius's envelope. She wouldn't read them of course, but they had given her an idea. She wanted to write her own version of the 'things I never got to say' letters to her friends here, even if they ended up being short. She guessed she would be up fairly late doing them, but she didn't mind. It suddenly felt extremely important to say the things she wouldn't have the chance to say before she left.
Wiping her puffy and wet eyes dry, Hermione gathered her ink, quill and some parchment from her bag, then set to work writing her own goodbye letters.
A/n: Just quick note about the various sicknesses that seem to be circulating around the wizarding world: one or two of my readers have pretty well figured out the reason behind it. If you haven't got it yet, don't worry. In the next chapter, it should become even more obvious, if not totally explained… Anyways, let me know what you thought about this chapter! I struggled a bit with parts of Sirius' letter, so tell me what you think. :D Lastly, I was thinking of doing a little sort of separate companion piece to this chapter, also called "Letters" in which each chapter would be one of Sirius' "Things I Never Got To Say" letters. Yay or nay? Let me know.