Whhheeeeeeeee, PirateShipForever69 is a wonderful beta! XD Thanks, dearie. Also, Lady Aurelia helped me editted the first part of the chapter, despite her busy schedule, isn't she sweet?
And to my friend Ellie, whom had been a great help in revising the chapters: did I told you how amazing you are? Because you totally rocks my socks off! XD
Everything belongs to Bioware/EA, I just own Hawke's weirdness =x
Hawke had been staring at the same pages in front of her for the past ten minutes, none of it had gone in. Before they left for the Deep Roads, Mother had begged her to leave Bethany behind, reasoning that they both couldn't go in case the expedition proved too dangerous. Hawke had risked her sister's ire to pacify her mother, but for what?
The expedition turned out to be profitable, despite Bartrand's betrayal. She had money now-influence, even. But even though she had crawled her way to the top and bought back the Amell estate, the templars had taken her sister. What stung the most, however, was that Bethany told her not to worry, not to do anything about having her own sister locked away. Knowing that Hawke would kill the Templars without mercy, Bethany had gone with them willingly to spare their lives.
And people said that mages were heartless?
She sighed as she picked up her tankard and poured the rest of the ale bottle into it, trying to get used to the fact that a smiling and happy Bethany would not be greeting her when she returned home. She would visit Bethany at the Gallows, but it would not be the same. The Templars would not treat her little sister like family.
"You know, I don't think the answer is at the bottom of the cup." Varric said as he stepped into his suite and watched Hawke sigh forlornly. He understood what she was thinking, and felt like he was partly to blame. He had been too confident, too optimistic, and in the end he was betrayed by his own brother. The expedition was a success, but Hawke's sister had to paid the price for that; now he only wished he had talked her into bringing Bethany - perhaps then it would have been different. Or perhaps not. The deep roads were a dark and treacherous place, more dangerous than any Circle. He plastered on a grin and sat down next to her. "No desire to turned your nose up at the nobles in High Town?"
Hawke weakly smiled and shook her head. "That would be hard to do; their noses are pretty high."
"Never know until you try."
Hawke sighed and took a long drink from her tankard. "I'll pass… Mind if I spend the night here?"
"You know you're always welcome here, Hawke." Varric gently patted her shoulder. "I can tell you a bedtime story, if you like."
A small smile crept up Hawke's lips. "Only if it's naughty, Varric."
"Anything for you, Chuckles."
xxxxxxxxxxxx
The next morning, Hawke woke up before dawn. She sat up and found Varric sprawled out three steps away. So neither of them made it to the bed. Hmm.
Using the chair as leverage, Hawke stood up and ran a hand over her face. The two of them had talked and drank late into the night, and the last thing she remembered was looking up at the wood panels on the ceiling, with Varric's voice telling her about some roses Merrill had taken a liking to. They weren't really that drunk, but the guilt ridden sleep deprivation must have caught up to them. Ah, well, she did complain to Varric time and time again that she would like nothing more than to have a good night's sleep without worrying that a random genlock would appear.
That, and after a month sleeping on the ground, beds are a little too soft.
Shaking her head, she pulled the blanket off the bed and carefully draped it over the sleeping dwarf. Poor Varric. He had been patient and accommodating, letting her staying in his room. Mother was happy when the renovation of the Amell estate was finished and moved into her old room as soon as she could, but to Hawke, the house was just too big for her; she suspected it would be awhile before she could be comfortable in it. Right now, though, Varric's room is feeling more like home than her own house.
Hawke walked out of the room, closing the door behind her as quietly as she could. The Hanged Man isn't even open, so she had to wake up an annoyed Corff to let her out, mentally promising to herself to give him better tip next time now that she can afford to be more generous. She returned to High Town, only to see two Qunari standing in front of her doorstep. It was strange enough that they were there that Hawke paused with a surprised look on her face. Since it was barely dawn, there was hardly anyone around, so the horned guards spotted her right away.
"To what do I owe the pleasure?" She drawled, slowly approaching the Qunari. She briefly wondered just how long they'd been standing there, waiting for her.
"The Arishok demands your attention Basra."
xxxxxxxxxx
When they got to the compound, the Arishok was talking to one of his men at the stairs leading further inside the compound, but stopped when he saw her walk in. With a short sentence in his native tongue, the Arishok dismissed him, and turned to her.
"Arishok." She greeted, coming closer but kept a respectful distance.
"You are still alive." His face and voice remained impassive.
"Are you really surprised?" Hawke smirked, crossing her arms. "Truly, Arishok, why must you keep such low opinion of us?"
"Because your kind proved time and time again how weak you are."
"Not all of us."
"Your endurance is impressive, but greed was the drive behind your excursion."
"I wouldn't say greed, just practicality. Why waste perfectly good resources just because a few darkspawns happened to be in the same area?" She pointed out. "Surely you yourself don't back down from getting what you want just because someone else also want it?"
The Arishok narrowed his eyes and stared down at her. She seemed a little different from when he first met her; not in the physical sense. She stood taller, with a cheerful smile on her face, yet her eyes seemed to be tinged with tiny flecks of sadness. "What did you encounter?" He asked, not mentioning that her comment is closer to the truth than she know.
"Enormous spiders, ogres, genlocks," She counted, ticking off each one on her fingers. "hurlocks, demons; and, oh, rock wraiths, thanks to Bartrand."
"I was led to believe you had partnered with him for the trip."
"He abandoned us." She grimaced. "As of now, Varric is still looking for him, with no luck."
"And you wonder why I don't think much of this city."
"We are all entitled to a bad egg here and there." Hawke shrugged nonchalantly. "You can't possibly invited me here just to talk about my experience in dealing with Bartrand?"
"No. I'm curious as to how a small group can survived going through the darkspawn territory."
"We just kill any that we encounter." She shrugged again. "Either that, or they kill us. I love being alive too much to give that up."
He grunted.
"I don't suppose you have some work you need me to do?"
"No." The Arishok scowled, as if the thought had never occur to him. "The Qun does not need outsiders to do our tasks for us."
"Too bad." Hawke looked at him curiously. "Because every time people call on me, they aren't interested in socializing."
"Yet you allow them to use you."
"I rather have something to do than nothing at all. It can be boring sitting around, and a girl's gotta eat."
"You choose to waste yourself in this place, when there are other ways. Humans are indeed foolish!"
"I could say the same to you." Hawke raised her eyebrow, not liking his arrogance. "It's been more than two years, and yet you're still here despite your claim of hating this place."
"We have a purpose here, and we shall not leave until our task is done."
"My purpose is to take care of my family-!"
"How have that turned out for you?" He asked with a pointed stare.
Hawke clenched her fists. He knew about her sister being taken to the Circle, and used that fact to make a point. He did not said it with the malice others would have, and Hawke understand that he is just stating it as a fact, but it still feel like someone stuck a knife in her gut.
"I might have failed my sister," She said finally. "but I still have my mother to think about. To you, this place might be the end of the world, but it was where she was born. Would you have me uproot her again just to move to someplace better? Especially when I had work so hard to get her ancestral estate back? Despite everything that had happened, she could be happy here!" For a moment, Hawke panicked over the thought of leaving this city. There is no way she would go anywhere without her remaining family. Mother would hate living somewhere else, especially now that she finally had the Amell estate back. And then there's Bethany in the Gallows. She could never leave her sister behind.
"Could you?" He asked simply.
Hawke took a breath and let it out slowly, trying to sort out her thoughts. The answer was not as clear as she'd like. "I don't know. Hopefully my luck will get better now that I'm not living in Gamlen's house."
"That's not an answer."
"It's the only thing that came to my mind." She smiled despite the serious mood a moment ago. "I don't know what you have heard about me, but I don't have all the answer."
"Indeed you don't."
"I've been curious." She said, ignoring his snort. "What is it that you seek here? I'm more familiar with low places, perhaps I could help?"
"It is not your place to help." He frowned, the sharp angle of his features made his expression more intimidating.
"Fine, fine." She threw up her hands in mock surrender. "Don't say I did not offered."
"For your own satisfaction." He pointed out.
"I did say I rather have something to do than sit on my hands." She glanced around, noticing that most of the Kossith are busy with one task or another despite the early hour. It reminded her of the time she served in Ferelden's army, and she smile quietly at the nostalgic feeling. Waking up early, train, finishing the tasks she was assigned, train some more, coming home with aching muscles; Oh the good old time. She somewhat missed the tight schedule, but rather likes the personal freedom she have now.
The Arishok noticed her stare, and look toward the direction of her gaze. For several minutes, both of them just watch the daily activities; until Hawke shifted, drawing his attention back to her. "I heard that in the Qun, everybody have a place?" She wondered aloud before turning to face him.
"Correct." He gestured over to the soldiers. Some of them are watching the exchange between the Arishok and the human, but others are carrying out their task, efficiently and quickly. "They know what they are, and what they must do."
"What about you?" She persisted. "What must you do?"
He stared at her for a long moment, carefully considering the answer to her question. "We are here to retrieve a relic of the Qun."
"Hm." She waited for more explanation; when none was forthcoming, she sighed. "I did said I won't offer again, but now you're just making me more curious."
"Take care that your curiosity does not lead to your end."
"We all die eventually." She laugh softly. "That's why I like to enjoy myself, who knows what tomorrow might lead."
"You laugh, but your thoughts are grim." He said, continuing to stare at her, his gaze calculating.
"It's not like I actively think about death." She explained. "I just grew up on the run, it taught me to appreciate all the joy I can get out of life."
"That is wise." He nodded to himself.
"A praise?" She grinned up at him. "I thought you don't think much of me."
"You proved that you can change your fortune, but you limit yourself by choosing to stay here."
Here we go again, Hawke huffed. So far, they've been going around in circle about this topic. She supposed that he have the right to dislike this place, but she is building a home here, and she can't help but feel defensive about this city. "There are fun things to do here, you know."
"Debauchery, corrupted politics, all fruitless endeavors." He wave his hands dismissively. "And you considered that fun?"
"Have you ever been outside of the compound?" She raised her eyebrow at him, silently betting that he did not feel the need to interact with people here unless necessary.
"I do not care to." He scowled, proving her right.
"It's not good to be cooped up in one place for so long." She clicked her tongue. "There are places you can go without being bothered by other people." Her head jerk up as a thought came to her. "I could take you on a little tour, show you quiet places with fresh air." She offered. "Then maybe you won't think everything in Kirkwall is horrible."
"It is not the city itself, but the people."
"Yes, well, more reason why you should get out of here once in awhile. Change of scenery?"
He look at her, his face remained blank, but- there may have been a flicker of interest. Perhaps she is getting used to reading his expressions? Or maybe her imagination is a little too active.
"I'm sure after two years, you would like to see something else than these walls."
He glared at her. "Your reasoning is presumptuous."
"You were the one saying that there is nothing good about this city." She crossed her arms. "I'm merely trying to prove you wrong."