Blood On The Pavement
You didn't fall
You jumped
And I have no idea why
You let me watch you
Did you think it would be easier for me?
Were you trying to spare me the pain
Of having to find out about it later?
If that was the case
Well, you failed
Because nothing [can be/is] more painful than this
You are lying not unlike how you sleep:
Slightly curled up, one arm reaching out
For something that isn't there, not this time
Your body is so still
I don't think I've ever seen you so motionless
It feels like my veins have been filled with ice
A black hole has opened up in my stomach
If only it saw fit to suck up my heart as well
But no
Instead,
It is left to squeeze and tighten so sharply
Like a python has coiled around it
I wish it would stop
How can it possibly still be beating
When yours isn't?
How can it continue to pump blood
When yours isn't?
God, do you have any idea
How devastating a sight you are?
The image of your blood on the pavement
Staining your pale skin
Matting your curly hair
Will haunt me forever
I hate you, you bastard
Do you hear me?
I hate you for making me suffer like this
I hate you for thinking you didn't have enough to live for
That I wasn't enough
I hate you for not letting me tell you I loved you