A/N: Hey! I'm back! So, I think I'll see this through... I don't know. These chapters are really easy to write, and all.
Thanks to all reviewers! Please review again!
Disclaimer: Nah, I don't own Riordan's stuff.
Rating: T (blah... blah... read T rating guide, all of the stuff listed there)
Chapter Two
To: Annabeth Chase [ annabeth . chase { a t } ARweekly . net ]
From: Piper McLean [ piper . mclean { a t } ARweekly . net ]
Re: Don't leave me hanging!
What happened? Did you get fired?
Not that I think that there's a possibility of you getting fired. In case, you know, you're still working at AR Weekly when you get this. But…
DID YOU GET FIRED?
Oh, God, please don't get yourself fired. It's going to be so boring around here if you are fired. I mean, the only other decent conversationalist around here is Bianca di Angelo, and she's… well… You know. Melanoma and all of that. Which, really, I just can't even think about. It makes me too sad.
But the other people! I mean, Hazel Levesque? She's a sweetheart and all, but she refuses to gossip. REFUSES! Even when it's about people that everyone gossips about, like Britney Spears or someone.
Seriously. Sample dialogue of me trying to gossip:
Me: "So, did you hear about the marriage problems with Lisa Marie Presley and Nicolas Cage?"
Hazel: "Oh, yes. It's awful, isn't it? I just don't think that there's anything going on there. They're such nice people! I hope they work it out. And I really don't think we should be talking about this; I mean, what if people went around talking about you and YOUR divorce?"
Seriously. THAT IS WHAT SHE SAID. And it was unintentionally terrible!
HOW DOES SHE WORK IN HUMAN RESOURCES WHEN SHE IS GOING AROUND THE OFFICE TALKING ABOUT MY DIVORCE (okay, well, insinuating my divorce into the conversation of Presley and Cage)?!
And then there's Clarisse Rodriguez, but she kind of scares me. Like, she's either working for Mr. D or smoking a cigarette. In the office. One time I asked her about it - her smoking, I mean, not working for Mr. D -, and she was like, "So what?"
WHERE ARE MANNERS AND COMMON COURTESY?
Don't even get me started on Valdez. That kid's a wackjob.
So, really: you just can't leave. I mean, nobody's going to be there for me after I cry in the bathroom because I'm thinking about my ex-husband again. And nobody's going to stand up for me when Tanaka from HR (why are all of the trolls from HR? Well, unintentional trolls and intentional trolls) starts bullying me about how I'm divorced at the age of twenty-seven?
So please don't get fired. I am glad I now have the private satisfaction of knowing Castellan's philanderings have resulted in his multiple sexual diseases, but it wasn't worth you getting fired.
Pipes :(
To: Piper McLean [ piper . mclean { a t } ARweekly . net ]
From: Annabeth Chase [ annabeth . chase { a t } ARweekly . net ]
Re: Oh my God
There are so many things wrong with your last email I can't even tell you.
No, I didn't get fired. I did get yelled at, though. But Castellan's too hated around the office for me to get in much trouble, so I just got off with a verbal and a written warning. Which means that if I screw up after this the office has grounds to fire me, but oh well. For today, my job is safe.
Thankfully, it seems. What is the matter with you? Like I should try to stick around solely for the purpose of giving you someone decent to talk to?
Piper, you need a life.
Also: Bianca's moving to the hospital soon because her chemo's intensifying. I'll send out a mass email to the office to throw her a get-well party. You know how much she likes strawberry cake.
I'm sorry about Hazel, but Piper, you have to TELL HER if there's an issue. Otherwise, she's completely clueless. Hazel's a doll, but she won't realize that there's something wrong unless you spell it out for her. If you don't, she'll just keep on bringing it up. That's Hazel. Sweet, but a little socially inept.
And as for Tanaka, grow a spine. You know I'm always here for you, but you got divorced a year ago. It's time to get back out there. Jason's not coming back, honey.
So anyway, I'm glad that I'm here so that you can talk to me. Because, of course, this is the most important thing in any workplace: conversations.
Oy-vey.
Annabeth
To: Piper McLean [ piper . mclean { a t } ARweekly . net ], Leo Valdez [ LUVSPONGEBOB { a t } ], Chiron Brunner [ chiron . brunner { a t } ARweekly . net ], Clarisse Rodriguez [ clarisse . rodriguez { a t } ARweekly . net ], Frank Zhang [ frank . zhang { a t } ARweekly . net ], Zoë Nightshade [ zoe . nightshade { a t } ARweekly . net ], Dakota Paul [ dakota . paul { a t } ARweekly . net ], Ethan Nakamura [ ethan . nakamura { a t } ARweekly . net ], Gwendolyn Spears [ gwendolyn . spears { a t } ARweekly . net ], Jacob Mason [ jake . mason { a t } ARweekly . net ], Lee Fletcher [ lee . fletcher { a t } ARweekly . net ], Katie Gardiner [ katie . gardiner { a t } ARweekly . net ], Nyssa Hammer [ nyssa . hammer { a t } ARweekly . net ], Travis Stoll [ travis . stoll { a t } ARweekly . net ], Connor Stoll [ connor . stoll { a t } ARweekly . net ], Will Solace [ will . solace { a t } ARweekly . net ]
From: Annabeth Chase [ annabeth . chase { a t } ARweekly . net ]
Re: Bianca di Angelo
Hey, guys, Bianca's been feeling down about her condition lately, and I thought that we could throw her a surprise party, just to boost up her morale.
I've put a list of all of the things that need to be done, separated by your division. Read through and let me know if you can handle them.
-PROGRAMMING (Nyssa, Leo, Jake): Try and get some lights and music, okay? You know, a dance floor. Not clubbing music, but something cheesy and appropriately awful for office get-togethers.
-ADMINISTRATION (Chiron, Clarisse): Get her a gift, okay? Nothing fancy; just a little bit more high-scale than the packs of M & Ms you usually get her, OK? (BOTH OF YOU. CANDY IS NOT CONSTITUTED AS A GIFT).
-DESIGN (Katie, Travis, Connor): Streamers (green), balloons (white and green, shiny, not matte). You know. Let Katie and Travis handle it - they've thrown about a billion parties for their kids, right?
-CORRESPONDENCE [JOURNALISTS] (Piper, Gwen): We'll all bunch in together and get her a couple of cards and that strawberry cake from Servati she likes so much. Sound good?
-HUMAN RESOURCES: (Frank, Hazel): Keep Tanaka out of the way. The office is allowed to have more than a Christmas Party.
-ACCOUNTING (Zoë, Dakota): Figure out the bill for all this and divide it up between the departments. It is a common fact that writers aren't good at math; don't make us poor souls pay 50 extra dollars.
-LEGAL HELP (Ethan): I know you're new here, and most of the legal people usually don't like to affiliate with us commoners, but maybe bring a couple lawyers down? The more, the merrier!
Everybody try and do your part! The party's two days from tomorrow. And remember, it's for Bianca.
Annabeth Chase
Senior Journalist
Architecture Weekly Magazine
P.S.- Valdez, quit changing your email. We don't care if you 'luv spongebob', or if you 'h8 sesame street', or if you identify yourself as 'little latino'. Just plain old Leo Valdez - you know, your name, like the rest of the people here use - will do.
To: Annabeth Chase [ annabeth . chase { a t } ARweekly . net ]
From: Piper McLean [ piper . mclean { a t } ARweekly . net ]
Re: I'm an invertebrate, don't judge me.
Really. I mean, Jason cheated on me with that skank Reyna.
I'm an invertebrate, and so when Tanaka brings up the fact that I am inept at life, I tend to be a little embarrassed and start crying in the bathroom. Look, I was a model, OK? A model for a big company.
And then my newlywed husband cheated on me.
I just can't do life anymore. When is the world going to cut me a break?
I mean, honestly.
Love,
Pipes
To: Piper McLean [ piper . mclean { a t } ARweekly . net ]
From: Annabeth Chase [ annabeth . chase { a t } ARweekly . net ]
Re: You're not a jellyfish,
so stop pouting.
You're a gorgeous woman. Your husband was a JA. Life sucks.
Trust me, darling, I know. Luke just cheated on me, remember? But I got back at him! Ha! No party for you, mister. He'll be so sad and dejected when he doesn't get to come to the party.
Ha! That'll show him!
Annabeth
To: Annabeth Chase [ annabeth . chase { a t } ARweekly . net ]
From: Piper McLean [ piper . mclean { a t } ARweekly . net ]
Re: Um, your revenge
was putting the paper up on the bulletin board.
Right? Not not inviting him to the lame office party that you're throwing. (No offense. We haven't had a good office party since the new supermodels from Modele Inc. came to the office, and all of the guys got drunk salivating over them. THAT was fun. Entertaining and disheartening for the women, free masturbation for the men.)
If not inviting Luke to the office party was your revenge, I think you need to reevaluate your standards.
Pipes ;)
To: Piper McLean [ piper . mclean { a t } ARweekly . net ]
From: Annabeth Chase [ annabeth . chase { a t } ARweekly . net ]
Re: Ugh.
I hate you.
Oh, look. We get to go early today! Probably because Brunner just downed a bunch of that coffee from the stand out front of the building. We all know that thing is generally thought to cause a huge bowel movement within forty-five minutes of you drinking it. And we also all know that Brunner prefers not to use these toilets, seeing as how it's nearly impossible for him (poor guy, being in a wheelchair and all) and seeing as how he says they're coated in germs and other unmentionable things.
Which, you know. True.
Very, very true. And very, very sad.
Well, anyway, see you tomorrow!
Annabeth
To: Malcolm Chase [ malcolm . chase { a t } chaseelectronics . org ]
From: Annabeth Chase [ annabeth . chase { a t } ARweekly . net ]
Re: Hey
Hey!
How are you? How's Kinzie and the kids? I miss those little monsters, even though they did almost kill me with their television preferences. By the time I got out of your house last month during my visit, I was literally shocked to start watching a movie that didn't start with a desk lamp jumping on top of a capital I.
Anyway, just wanted to let you know that Luke won't be able to come to the family get-together on Saturday. It's probably for the best; Mom's antics and her new husband (what is this? Her sixth? Eighth? And how old is he? The last one was younger than me), Dad, Cheri, Bobby, and Matthew (holy overload of the Evil Family; I couldn't handle Bobby and Matthew when they were kids, let alone when they're in college. I thought their male egos couldn't get any bigger until they got into Harvard. Boy, was I proved wrong. It's probably a trait from Cheri- you know how she gets. I'm glad you're Mom's kid, not Cheri's; you might have the billion-spouses gene, but at least you don't think you're Jesus).
I just thought I should probably let you know. I might try and duck out of it, too- I'm not sure if I can miss any more work days. I'm already on unofficial probation for something very, very wrong that I did… Although very, very clever…
So if you could let Mom know that I won't be able to make it down to the Hamptons and back to New York City in time for the time I need to be there, great! Please do that, in all actuality. I'm not sure if I can handle Mom's screaming matches. She even does it in email format. Like, how do you even yell over email?
Well, I take that back. I know how. My eyes hurt from all the Italics and capital letters in her last email.
Bye, Mal! Got to go- my Chinese take-out's here.
Love (your sister),
Annabeth
P.S.- Give my love to Kenzie, Lulu, Lacy, and Laurel! (What an estrogen-filled household you have; three daughters and a wife.)
To: Annabeth Chase [ annabeth . chase { a t } ARweekly . net ]
From: Malcolm Chase [ malcolm . chase { a t } chaseelectronics . org ]
Re: Oh, God.
I'm going to kill Castellan.
I knew he was bad for you! I knew it! You guys broke up, right? That's why you 'can't make it'? I'm going to kill him. Punk. Email me his address so that I can pulverize him, because that kid has got serious issues. I knew he was trouble from the minute I saw him at the last stupid elitist Chase family reunion, but I didn't know how much.
And just don't tell Mom that you're not coming. There are, like, a hundred people at that thing in the Hamptons related to us in some way or another, and Mom's usually drunk off her ass, anyway. Plus the fact that she's the only one who cares, so no one else really notices.
As for the Pixar thing… you don't have to live with them. They've progressed from Finding Nemo to Barbie (did you know they made Barbie movies? I didn't. I wish I still didn't).
Really, email me Castellan's address. I must avenge you.
And what are you on unoffical probation for? Aren't you usually, like, employee of the year or whatever?
Malcolm
P.S.- Am drowning in estrogen, but will give your love to wife and daughters anyway.
To: Annabeth Chase [ annabeth . chase { a t } ARweekly . net ]
From: Malcolm Chase [ malcolm . chase { a t } chaseelectronics . org ]
Re: Please don't kill him,
I don't want a murder charge on my conscience. You, unlike me, have got a life, and therefore have got a family, while I am a twenty-seven year-old woman wasting away alone.
Don't kill him. Seriously. That was bad judgment on my part. I mean, for God's sake, he's known as the office whore. That's literally his nickname. It's just- he was so charming and debonair for a while. All, "You're the woman that makes me want to change" and "You are my world".
Why did I even fall for that? I don't even like that crap.
But, anyway, he cheated on me a couple of times. He admitted it to me - in a somewhat unorthodox way - and I… er… reacted. By throwing a table in his face, storming out, and posting a paper of all of his sexually transmitted diseases (which were several) on the office bulletin board (hence my unofficial probation. I'm lucky I wasn't fired. Employee of the year! Ha! Not anymore).
I've got to tell Mom, though. She'll figure it out somehow. Ugh.
Also, what are you talking about, 'elitist Chases'? You're the multimillionaire with his own electronics company. You live in a penthouse in San Francisco, for Chrissakes. Get rid of the Barbie movies (YES, Macolm, they make BARBIE MOVIES. What kind of father of three girls are you?) and the estrogen, and I'll be moving in. Though I may not be one to talk, seeing as how I possess estrogen myself.
Love,
Annabeth
To: Annabeth Chase [ annabeth . chase { a t } ARweekly . net ]
From: Malcolm Chase [ malcolm . chase { a t } chaseelectronics . org ]
Re: Are you kidding me?
You think I have a life? My life constitutes of sitting on the couch watching Friends with my wife, who usually falls asleep in six minutes - one of the pitfalls of being the parent of a seven, four, and two year-olds - going to my workplace, which, by the way, is so not elite, and cooking my family dinner seeing as how my wife defies all stereotypes by being physically unable to cook. Seriously. I left for a business trip to Singapore the other week, and she ruined the microwave by heating up a LeanCuisine meal. The plastic welded to the bottom of the microwave.
We are looking at household cooks for hire now.
And, excuse me, but I didn't know they made Barbie movies! I was more of a Lego person as a kid. Well, after Mom left to go travel the world and get married a bunch of times and ditched us with Dad and evil Cheri, anyway. You remember how she thought toys weren't stimulating and sat us on the couch and made us look at the wall as entertainment to 'endorse our brains' while blasting Mozart.
And I really should kill Castellan. And… he had sexual diseases? I'm not even sure I really want to know the answer to this, but did you still have sex with him?
No, nevermind. That is not the sort of thing a brother needs to know about his younger sister. Definitely not.
But, anyway, kudos for getting back at him. Thattagirl.
As for my penthouse, it doesn't even resemble the penthouse Kenzie and I bought when we first moved in. Last week, Lulu went around the house with a pack of Sharpies, and now all the furniture's ruined. The nanny's still trying to get it out, with little success. I fully expect for her to pay for the damage; Lulu was on her watch. Both Kenzie and I were at work.
I've got to go now- Kenzie is hollering at me that it's dinnertime. She's got this new thing where the whole family has to sit at the dining table, which, consequently, is partially pink due to Lulu's sharpie problem. Do I want to sit with my family? Not particularly. I was looking forward to a dinner in front of the television watching Law and Order. Not Barbie, not Monsters, Inc., not Friends, not American Idol, not Sex and the City. MY SHOW.
Help me.
I don't have a life.
Malcolm
To: Malcolm Chase [ malcolm . chase { a t } chaseelectronics . org ]
From: Annabeth Chase [ annabeth . chase { a t } ARweekly . net ]
Re: Wow
Depraved, no-help bastard of a brother.
To: Athena M. Brooke [ athenaminervabrooke { a t } theitscene . net ]
From: Annabeth Chase [ annabeth . chase { a t } ARweekly . net ]
Re: Saturday's get-together
Mom,
Sorry, but Luke and I won't be able to make it to the gathering on Saturday. We're both preoccupied with urgent matters, and I'm afraid that you'll just have to do with two less guests. I am told, however, that Malcolm is greatly looking forward to his stay at your Hamptons party, as are his daughters and wife.
Oh, and I wanted to congratulate you on your new husband! Good for you - pushing fifty and pushing the amount of people any one person can marry in a lifetime! That's just great news, Mom.
Sorry again I won't be able to make it.
With love,
Annabeth
Instant Messaging Conversation at NYC Architecture Weekly Magazine
Between Recipients of: annabethgishiwish, washedupmodel, wheelchairgod
annabethgishiwish: What's with your new IM name? Really? Could the words INFERIOR COMPLEX be any clearer?
washedupmodel: Annabeth! We're not supposed to be IM-ing right now! Brunner is going to KILL you. You're supposed to be finishing up that piece on Kim Kardashian, remember?
annabethgishiwish: I remember, unfortunately. Nobody cares about Kim Kardashian.
washedupmodel: I beg to differ. She's famous, isn't she? And also, isn't YOUR name also a bit inferior? You know, Annabeth-Gish-I-Wish?
annabethgishiwish: It's natural to want to be a celebrity. Just not Kim Kardashian. If you want to be Kim Kardashian, you've got problems.
washedupmodel: I agree… OMG! INCOMING!
annabethgishiwish: ...Oh, my God. Please tell me that did NOT just happen, Piper.
washedupmodel: I am sorry to say it did. Oh, Annabeth. What are you going to do?
annabethgishiwish: Luke Castellan just walked up and told me that he's suing me. And then he gave the number of his prosecuting attorney. I literally just got served.
washedupmodel: The nerve of that guy. To walk up and just be like, "You've been served. See you in court in two months."
annabethgishiwish: And who was that woman on his arm?
washedupmodel: Kelli Carmen. She's in Reception.
annabethgishiwish: I now remember why I didn't invite anybody from Reception to my party. I mean, did you see the look she gave me? What a bitch!
washedupmodel: ANNABETH! DON'T CUSS OVER THIS THING! YOU'RE GOING TO GET BUSTED!
annabethgishiwish: I will swear if I want to. I am well-versed in the language of profanities. And also Mandarin. And French. And five other languages, thanks to my mother and her brutal teaching tactics when I was a child.
washedupmodel: Oh God. And anyway, you didn't invite Reception because a) their staff becomes new every 6 months, and b) nobody in the office likes the Reception people right now on account of them never getting anybody the right coffee. I mean, I ordered a latte, and they gave me a Pike.
annabethgishiwish: A travesty, to be sure.
washedupmodel: Cut it with the sarcasm.
annabethgishiwish: Fine. But, seriously, Pipes. What am I going to DO? I'm being actually sued! He told me that he was going to sue me and everything, but I didn't think he'd actually do it! My actions were justified!
washedupmodel: You forget Castellan is a man-whore.
annabethgishiwish: How eloquent. Can we please focus on the issue at hand? I told him I have a lawyer!
washedupmodel: But you don't have a lawyer.
annabethgishiwish: I KNOW! THAT'S THE PROBLEM!
washedupmodel: Oy, with the caps.
annabethgishiwish: PIPER, BE HELPFUL! I WAS SUPPORTIVE WHEN TANAKA MADE A DIVORCE JIBE A SECOND AGO! BE SUPPORTIVE TO ME NOW!
washedupmodel: Underhanded, but true. Oh, I don't know… isn't one of your cousins studying to become a lawyer?
annabethgishiwish: That's both of my half-brothers, Bobby and Matthew, but I'm going to them over my dead body. They're egotistical, and only in their freshman year at Harvard.
washedupmodel: I thought you said they were your brothers? How much older are you than they are?
annabethgishiwish: It's my parents' screwed up marriage, remember? When I was… oh… nine, and my brother was fourteen, I think, my parents quit with their adultering practices and finally divorced each other because my dad got my stepmother pregnant. Hence Bobby and Matthew.
washedupmodel: Such a happy childhood.
annabethgishiwish: You're telling me. But, back to the point: WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? I NEED A LAWYER. ASAP.
washedupmodel: Quit it with the caps! Look, the only ones I know are associates of Jason. You remember him? My ex-husband?
annabethgishiwish: So can I go to one of them?
washedupmodel: Are you out of your mind? First of all, they're friends with my ex-husband, the cuckolder. Second of all, you couldn't afford them in a million years.
annabethgishiwish: Cuckolder isn't a word. And, really, who even uses the root 'cuckold', anway?
washedupmodel: Me.
annabethgishiwish: Clearly. But, Pipes, your rap sheet isn't all that clean either. Didn't you steal a BMW? And a Maserati? And a Lamborghini?
washedupmodel: I had a weakness for expensive cars when I was a teenager. So sue me.
annabethgishiwish: Look, all I'm saying is, can't you just forgive and forget?
washedupmodel: No. And you're just saying this so that I can get a discount on Jason so you can actually afford a decent lawyer.
annabethgishiwish: Would that really be the worst thing in the world?
washedupmodel: YES. HE IS MY EX-HUSBAND.
annabethgishiwish: Now who's using all the caps?
washedupmodel: I'm not going to reconcile with Jason just so you can get a discount, Annabeth.
annabethgishiwish: Fine. Then guilt-trip him into giving me a discount.
washedupmodel: Really, Annabeth?
annabethgishiwish: Please? I really need this, Pipes. It's urgent. Otherwise I wouldn't ask. I just can SO not afford to be out 3 thousand dollars right now.
washedupmodel: Look, hate to break it to you, but how much do you think a lawyer costs?
annabethgishiwish: Less than the 20,000 Castellan's going to sue me for?
washedupmodel: A second ago, it was three thousand.
annabethgishiwish: And now it's 50k. Every time I think about it, the cost just goes up.
washedupmodel: Because that makes sense.
annabethgishiwish: It does, yeah.
wheelchairgod logged on
wheelchairgod: Girls, as your supervisor, I am required to tell you to log off and actually do some work.
annabethgishiwish: Aw, Chiron, cut me some slack! I'm having a crisis!
wheelchairgod: I see that. However, despite this crisis, LOG OFF. I don't pay you for your looks, Chase. I pay you for your brain.
annabethgishiwish: I have neither. You should just fire me and deny any affiliation with me whatsoever.
wheelchairgod: If that is supposed to count as evidence for you in the upcoming trial between you and Castellan, you need to figure out a better way to go about this.
washedupmodel: That's what I've been saying. Except about another one of her hare-brained ideas. Not that one.
annabethgishiwish: Hey! It isn't hare-brained!
washedupmodel: Yes, it is.
wheelchairgod: Ladies, I have tried to be nice. Now I'm yelling. LOG OFF IMMEDIATELY OR I'LL FILE A REPORT WITH TANAKA.
annabethgishiwish logged off
washedupmodel logged off
wheelchairgod logged off
annabethgishiwish logged on
washedupmodel logged on
annabethgishiwish: PLEASE, PIPER? I need this. Otherwise, I'm seriously going to be out a month's rent, if not more, and will be forced to live on your living room couch.
washedupmodel: Who says I'd let you?
annabethgishiwish: PIPER. PLEASE.
washedupmodel: Fine. But you SO owe me.
annabethgishiwish: AH! YOU GODDESS! I WILL DO ANYTHING YOU ASK!
washedupmodel: You better.
annabethgishiwish: Uh-oh. We better log off. Brunner's giving us the evil eye.
washedupmodel: Oh dear
annabethgishiwish logged off
washedupmodel logged off
To: Annabeth Chase [ annabeth . chase { a t } ARweekly . net ]
From: Athena M. Brooke [ athenaminervabrooke { a t } theitscene . net ]
Re: Your absence at the pending Saturday party
Annabeth, I am simply appalled.
Your brother has managed to make it to every single one of these events, yet you are seemingly incapable of managing to make it to one! If you continue in this matter, I will be forced to disown you from the Chase line.
And don't think that this is the end of this- I fully intend to call you up and shout at you. Insolent, vulgar girl. A disgrace.
But Charlie - my husband, and thank you so much for your (albeit somewhat sarcastic) congratulations - is calling me to the bedroom, and I fear I must sexually perform.
With love - and anger -,
Your Mother
To: Athena M. Brooke [ athenaminervabrooke { a t } theitscene . net ]
From: Annabeth Chase [ annabeth . chase { a t } ARweekly . net ]
Re: Um, Mother,
I don't want to know what you are or are not doing in the bedroom with Charlie.
And my congratulations were ironic. You shouldn't be marrying again. Figure your life out before starting yet another three-month marriage.
Also, not really sure what you hope to put in stock of the threat of not belonging to the Chase line. You're not even part of the Chase line. Dad is. Half of the people at your Saturday party are Dodekathons. You know? Your Greek family? Your own family? And plus, I don't really want to belong to either line. If not for Malcolm, I would have changed my name to Jones a long time ago.
While I am vulgar, and a disgrace, I am also capable of fully not caring.
With love - and indifference -,
Your Daughter
To: Annabeth Chase [ annabeth . chase { a t } ARweekly . net ]
From: Malcolm Chase [ malcolm . chase { a t } chaseelectronics . org ]
Re: Mom
WHAT DID YOU DO?
Seriously. Mom just called me up, and I've never seen her so mad before in my life. What did you do, Annabeth? Please tell me that you didn't kill anyone. I know Mom makes you consider homicide, but please, please don't go down that road. It's a long and ugly road. I know, trust me. I'm practically an expert from all the Law and Order episodes I've watched.
So, really:
WHAT DID YOU DO?!
Malcolm
To: Malcolm Chase [ malcolm . chase { a t } chaseelectronics . org ]
From: Annabeth Chase [ annabeth . chase { a t } ARweekly . net ]
Re: Mom
You're out of your mind if you think I'm telling you. Plead the fifth, brother. Plausible deniability and all that.
Also- I'm getting sued. I think I've got a lawyer, but it very well might fall through, seeing as how it's through my best friend's ex-husband's work lawyering assistants over at Shake Magazine. (You know, the food magazine? I've always hated that magazine… Well, ever since Piper's husband became her ex-husband.)
So, yeah. Very shaky terms with that one.
Got any lawyer friends at your disposal that I can borrow?
Love,
Annabeth
To: Annabeth Chase [ annabeth . chase { a t } ARweekly . net ]
From: Malcolm Chase [ malcolm . chase { a t } chaseelectronics . org ]
Re: NO
Is Mom suing you?
Please tell me she's not.
To: Malcolm Chase [ malcolm . chase { a t } chaseelectronics . org ]
From: Annabeth Chase [ annabeth . chase { a t } ARweekly . net ]
Re: No, Mom is not suing me
Luke Castellan is.
So, anyway: Lawyers on speed dial?
Get back to me as soon as you can.
Love,
Annabeth
P.S.- Give my love to Kinzie and the kids.
To: Jason Grace [ jason . grace { a t } shakezine . com ]
From: Piper McLean [ piper . mclean { a t } ARweekly . net ]
Re: I need a favor
Jason -
I need a favor. It's me. You remember: your ex-wife, the one you dumped for your slutty receptionist? Oh, I can just see the recollection flickering in your eyes. God, you're still as dull as you were when I last saw you, aren't you?
Look, I've tried getting through to you a bunch of ways- leaving messages at your receptionist ( I see you've gotten ridden of the slut, good riddance ) for you to call me, actually calling you, IM-ing you, the works. Short of starting smoke signals, like they did in the good ole' ages in China, this is the only way I've got left.
Before you delete this, Jason, this favor isn't for me. It's for my friend. You remember her- Annabeth? The sweet, tiny blonde who you called a 'piece of hot ass' when we first met at that model meeting? You know, before I dated, married you, quit my job, divorced you, and got a job through her working as a junior journalist at an architecture magazine?
You know, now that I think about it, the warning signs in our matrimony were there.
But, anyway. She's in legal trouble, and I'd be happy to discuss it further with you, but before I disclose my best friend's life story via email, I need you to get back to me.
And, remember: it's not for me. It's for Annabeth. The one who got up and made that toast that made even you - and your sister - cry at our wedding? The one that got us the nicest gift, the one that we had been asking for, even though she didn't have power or running water in her apartment for a week and had to shower at the gym?
I think you remember.
And, if all else fails, I think it's the least you can do for me, seeing as how you slept with another woman while married to me.
Sincerely,
Piper McLean
Junior Journalist
Architecture Weekly Magazine
A/N: So, hope you all liked it! Please review!