A/N: So sorry for the wait. Let's do it!

This was the conundrum.

In the hierarchy of hurtful things one person could do to another in a relationship, Bella's lie of omission was low on the totem pole. How many dates was it before you were supposed to explain you'd slept with the person you lived with years ago? But they weren't just dating. They were together, and that was another complication. They were moving too fast, so fast this whole thing felt like a much bigger betrayal than it was.

It shouldn't have been so hard. He should cut his losses and get the hell out.

But what the hell kind of a bullshit thought was that? Only a child wished for a partner without baggage and complications. Yeah, so they hadn't really had a honeymoon period. So what? All that happened in other relationships is they fell in love with idyllic versions of each other only to reveal their true selves one piece at a time. Bella had been very blunt and open with him about the biggest things he needed to know.

Edward rubbed a hand over his eyes, and then he growled, getting up. "I don't want to think about it right now," he said, extending a hand toward Bella.

She stared at it, obviously confused, but put her hand in his. He pulled her straight into a bruising kiss. Her cry of surprise vibrated against his lips, but she kissed him back, letting him walk her backward until he had her pinned up against the wall. She wound her arms around his neck, opening her mouth to him.

When he reached his hand between her legs and began to rub the heel of his palm against her, she pushed back with a startled yelp. Her face was flushed, her eyes wild and confused as she looked up at him. "I thought we were fighting."

He pressed his body against hers, dominating and consuming her, both of his hands now propped on either side of her head. "You want me to fight with you right now?"

She shook her head, her eyes darting to his lips. "No," she said, the word a whisper. "I want you."

Edward could hear the painful uncertainty in her tone, and he wished he could comfort her, tell her that everything was going to be okay. But he was confused and pissed. All he really knew for certain was that he wanted her. He wanted her conversation, her talent, her ambition. He wanted her beauty, her kinks, and her inhibition. It should have been that fucking easy, but it wasn't.

Taking her face between his hands, he kissed her, softer this time. "I want you too. Right now."

He knew it wasn't what she meant, and he could see the conflict on her face. Still, she nodded, pulling his head down to kiss her again.

Somehow, Edward managed to convince himself not to take her against the wall, though he wanted to do that too. He moved his kisses to the space just below her ear. "Is your roommate coming home any time soon?"

She gasped as he rained a trail of nips. "No. She said she'd give us as much space as we need."

"Good." With that, he pressed her against the wall again but only briefly. He kissed her lips, her neck, drawing out little squeaks and surprised squeals from her. He loved how noisy she was, the way he could always tell that she liked the way he touched her. He hooked his hands behind her knee and tugged. She got the idea and wrapped both her legs around his waist.

When he was sure his grip was firm, he walked with her down the hallway, stopping occasionally to pin her against the wall for another kiss. He was in no hurry. He wasn't at all sure what he wanted, just that he wanted her. Every inch of her. He wanted to taste and touch her. He wanted to hear her sigh and scream his name.

He set about his work, moving slow enough to memorize every moment, but fast enough to outrun the bitter taste in the air. This was supposed to be their honeymoon period. It wasn't supposed to be tinged with desperation as it was.

Kneeling on her bed, he set her down in the center, climbing over her, pressing her into the bedspread as he kissed her. Her heels dug into his back, her fingers tangling in his hair. Her kisses matched his in intensity. Edward was almost reluctant to pull away, but he had plans that required less clothes.

Sitting back on his haunches, he drew his hand up her leg, meeting her eyes as he unbuttoned her jeans. She was so beautiful, her cheeks flushed, and her eyes dark. She lifted her hips, letting him slide her jeans down.

Edward picked up her foot and pressed a kiss at her ankle. Then he licked a long line up her leg to her knee. Bella made the hottest little noise at the back of her throat. He kissed the back of her knee and then put his mouth over her, licking up the center of her panties. He blew hot hair against her skin, relishing the way he could make her squirm.

"Agh. Oh, hell. Edward." Her fingers raked him, cutting into the skin of his shoulders. He straightened up again, his eyes on hers.

"Edward," she said, sighing as he pulled her panties down her legs.

He realized then he was collecting the different ways she could say his name.

He lowered his head again and parted her lips to kiss her clit. She tugged on his hair. "Edward," she said, begging.

He kissed his way up her body, lifting her up into a sitting position so he could take off her shirt and bra. "Edward," she said, pleading now. Urgent.

He laid her back down, and she spread her legs to welcome him. He moved in her, fast and hard. "Edward. Edward. Edward," she said in a climbing chant.

He reached between them, stroking her clit as she wrapped her legs tighter around him, urging him deeper. "Edward," she said in a scream as her walls contracted around him.

For minutes, neither of them moved. He remained collapsed over her, limp inside her; somehow not ready yet to let this end. Her fingers shook as she smoothed his hair back.

"Edward?" Her voice was rough as gravel.

"Hm?"

For a few more seconds, she only panted. Then he heard her swallow hard. "Was that goodbye?"

Edward opened his eyes and rolled onto his side, propping himself up on one elbow and resting the other on her bare tummy. Her eyes were glassy and her lower lip trembled, but he could see she was trying very hard not to cry. "That's not what I want," he said, his heart breaking because he hated to see her so sad and unsure.

She sniffed. "But?"

He ran the tips of his fingers over her nose, her cheeks, her chin. He lingered at her lips, and she kissed him, still watching him with quiet anguish. "I don't want to make an emotional decision," he said.

She pressed her lips into a thin line, but he could see she was about to lose her battle over her tears. Sometimes, he forgot how vulnerable she could be. No one was self-assured all the time. "I'm sorry," she said. "I know I should have told you."

"Bella." He lay on his back and brought her into the circle of his arms, hugging her tightly. She burrowed up against him, ducking her head into the crook of his shoulder. "It's not about the lying. It's just a lot, and I don't know what to think." He grimaced. "Again. I don't want it to matter. I trust you, and I actually like Tanya." He grunted. "Mostly. But it does matter, whether I want it to or not, it does."

"Fucking feelings, right?" Bella said, raising her head and putting on a smile. "And semantics. Semantics will drive you nuts."

Edward had to laugh. Then he sighed, brushing a thumb under her eyes to wipe away the tears that had gathered there. "That's the thing about feelings. I have this feeling letting you go would be the biggest mistake of my life."

"Then don't let go." She took his hands, twining their fingers together. "I know a good relationship takes compromise, and I want to. I just don't know how." She screwed up her face.

"What?" he asked.

"I don't know if it would help."

"But?"

Bella huffed. "Look, how about this. We're doing a shoot here this Wednesday. I'll leave the door open. If you think it might help, come see how we work. You'll see it's all business."

He studied her, not sure how he felt about that. "I'll think about it."

~0~

"I'm sick of thinking about this." Edward slumped forward on the table, his head in his arms. "I'm not trying to be melodramatic."

His sister snickered. "Oh, little brother. You wouldn't be you if you weren't melodramatic."

"Helpful, Alice."

"How was the sex?"

"What?"

"You heard me."

Edward narrowed his eyes at his sister.

Alice nodded and bent her head to the paper she'd been writing on. "Right. Stupid question. Sex with a porn star."

"She's not a… What are you doing, anyway?" Edward reached out and snatched the paper from under Alice's pen. It was a pro/con. The pros and cons of staying with Bella. There were a lot of pros. Edward huffed. The only con was that she apparently had pisspoor taste in men. "I love you too, little sister."

~0~

Edward didn't know whether to feel more nervous or excited.

Wasn't this supposed to be on every guy's bucket list? To be on a porn shoot? Not only that, but he was pretty sure he could fuck the porn star afterward if he wanted. He didn't care what Bella said about how businesslike it would be. She could be businesslike and hotter than hell.

The door was, as Bella promised, unlocked. Edward opened it as quietly as he could. He could hear Tanya talking. Something about the lights.

He found them in not in her bedroom but the living room. Bella's desk had been moved to the center of the room, lit by large lights. Bella was perched on top of the desk, her hair pulled back into a severe bun. She was wearing a pantsuit with a tie. The jacket was open, and it was obvious she had nothing on underneath.

"Just hold tight. I'm going to move the right light again," Tanya said.

Bella slumped and laid down, draped over the desk. "Dammit. You know those things are hotter than hell, right?"

Edward's mouth had gone dry. The jacket had fallen to the side, giving him a great side-boob view. Oh, man. The nipple. That one perfect nipple pointing straight up, the jacket sliding off, revealing more.

"Not a bad eye, newbie," a voice interrupted Edward's lascivious thoughts.

Edward's head snapped up, and he saw Tanya staring at his girlfriend thoughtfully. Despite himself, his blood boiled. Bella started to sit up, automatically pulling the jacket tighter around herself.

"No, wait," Tanya said, reaching to pick up her camera again. "Let's try a few poses like that."

Bella's eyes were on him, her gaze uncertain. Edward breathed in through his nose, horny and jealous and territorial all at once.

"Daylight's burning, Bella. Or you are, anyway. We're going to have to reapply your makeup soon. Come on, girl."

Edward swallowed around the knot in his throat and made himself relax-count to ten and think about baseball. He leaned against the wall, indicating he wasn't going to get in the way of their work.

Bella blew a breath out and then purposefully looked toward Tanya.

"Well, for fuck's sake, Bella. Can we lose the pensive expression? That isn't going to turn anyone on," Tanya said.

Bella rolled her eyes, but when she focused again on the camera, she had her game face on. And what a gorgeous game face it was. Edward readjusted himself as he leaned against the wall. Her grin was predatory, her eyes beckoning. She was kicking ass and taking names, and damn, she looked hot doing it. She was pure Ramona.

Ramona only came out for seconds at a time. The sexiness was constantly interrupted. Tanya would reposition her, tell her the light was hitting her nipples funny. She would tell her an angle was wrong, or she would just have her move into a different position.

Watching her work, watching more and more of the pantsuit find it's way off her, Edward wanted nothing more than to pin her against the nearest surface and bury his cock deep inside her. Tanya hardly noticed. She spent full minutes flipping through her pictures while Bella was right in front of her, nude and hot.

She wasn't fazed.

"I think we're good, Bella," Tanya said. She held her camera in one hand while she groped with the other for the robe that was draped across a nearby chair. She tossed it at Bella without looking. "It's a good shoot. I'll let you know if we need to reshoot anything, but I doubt it. There's plenty to work with here."

Bella cleared her throat, her eyes darting between Tanya and Edward, that unsure look back on her face. "Good," she said, pulling on her robe. "Thanks."

When she stepped up to him, Edward couldn't help himself. He pulled her to him and kissed her. Hard. It was a caveman move, and they all knew it. He heard Tanya's soft snort. But dammit, he was the current boyfriend, Tanya was the ex-girlfriend, and his girlfriend was fucking hot.

Edward broke the kiss and looked at Bella. The last hour, he'd been dying to do one thing. Well, more than one thing, but one thing he could do in front of Tanya. He reached up and released her hair from its tight bun, watching it tumble down to her shoulders. She smiled, laughing at him a little bit.

"Sorry," he said. "You, uh… That was good. I mean, you look good. It was...yeah. Good."

Bella raised up on the balls of her feet to kiss him once more. "I'm going to wipe all this crap off," she said, gesturing to her face.

He watched her go, realizing that he'd caught another glimpse of the shy girl he'd known in high school.

"Hey, stud."

Edward grimaced and turned back to Tanya. He raised an eyebrow.

Tanya offered him a smile that was mostly apologetic with only a little smirk. "I wanted to tell you I was sorry. For last week."

"You mean what you said?" Edward shrugged, crossing his arms. "Bella should have told me before you did."

"Well, that much is true." Tanya put her camera down and turned to face him. "But what I said was obnoxious. I didn't mean anything by it. I forget you're, uh…"

"I'm what?" Edward asked, irritation spiking.

"Hey, put the bitch brow away, ace. I know you've gone all territorial, and I get that, but try to hear me out."

Edward gestured that she should get on with it.

"It's a social circle thing," Tanya said, her tone and expression completely serious. "You've got the norm, which is people like you. And the norm has these rules, which is why you're struggling so much with Bella even though you and I both know you're crazy about her. The norm puts a crazy amount of importance on sex." She rolled her eyes. "The bullshit I've seen otherwise rational people pull around anyone who's touched their significant other is insane, but I digress.

"The thing is, the group I run in is much more blase about sex. Seriously. It's just sex. It's fun. It gets the blood pumping. Yeah, it can mean a lot more when you have it with someone you love or even with someone you just care about, but it's also just sex. It's not a big deal to me. That's the advantage of having to come to the conclusion that you don't belong in the norm-you find your own norm. In our group, we know gender-fluid people, pansexual people, asexual people. Sex isn't a big deal to us. I've slept with some of them, and everyone is cool with it. It's what I'm used to. I'm used to being able to kid the people I hang out with about it. So when Bella said she told you and you were okay, I thought it was okay."

Edward's lip twitched, thoughts running through his head that he really didn't want there.

Tanya laughed. "Relax. I see those wheels turning. Bella isn't in the norm either, but she's not as blase about sex as a lot of us. Not that she's a nun, but you already knew that. With her, it just means she's comfortable with our group of friends." She gave him a playful punch to his shoulder. "She likes the serious sex. Specifically, she seriously likes having sex with you. No one has ever made her as happy as she was when you decided you could deal with the non-norm."

"Well, thank you for the vote of confidence," Edward said, not entirely exasperated.

"What's going on here?" Bella asked, appearing from the hallway and looking between them.

Edward blew out a breath, releasing some of his frustration. "Tanya was just…"

"Being my charming self," Tanya said. "Okay, kids. You have fun. I'm going to take my laptop over to Carmen's for a while."

When she was gone, the air between Edward and Bella grew heavy. They were both closed off, arms crossed, defensive.

Finally, Bella glared, making a small growling noise. "You know what, please don't torture me. If you're going to break up with me-"

"I don't want to do that."

"You keep saying that."

"I mean it."

"But?"

"God." Edward rubbed the back of his neck. With a grunt, he reached out to take her hand. "Come here."

She let him lead her to the couch and they sat down. He played with her fingers. "It's just a lot," he said when words escaped him.

"You've said that before."

"Okay, look. I realize what I'm about to say is completely unfair. I know that, okay?"

"Fuck," Bella said under her breath, but she didn't interrupt him.

Edward exhaled in a gust. "Bella, I can't handle all of it. The job. The fact she's your photographer. The fact she's your roommate, who you go home to every night? And you spend so much time with her at the restaurant. I can handle some of it but not all of it."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying…" Edward had to swallow hard. This was so ridiculous. "If there's any way you could drop one. Just one."

"One? You mean my restaurant, my photographer, or my home?"

Edward closed his eyes. "I know it's a lot to ask."

"You think?" She drew her hands back and sat cross legged on the couch facing him. She was pissed, but she was something else too. Thoughtful, perhaps.

"I said I know it's unfair. It is. It's not fair. This is all tangled up and crazy. Too serious, too quick, remember? And I don't know which way is up with you. I know it's a crazy thing to ask for. I know that, but I want this to work. I-"

"I'll do it."

"I. What?"

Bella laughed, a slightly maniacal sound, and she buried her head in her hands for a brief moment. "I heard what Tanya said to you," she said, raising her head again. "About how our social group isn't part of the norm. The thing about that is, it was hard. Figuring out I wasn't the norm. Figuring out that I'm bisexual, I mean. I thought I was an open-minded and accepting person, and I am. But it's easy to say that. Being comfortable with it, and being comfortable that it's a part of me-that was hard. It's really fucking hard to figure yourself when you don't have a set narrative like you straight people."

"Damn straight people," he muttered. "Makes me wish I'd had a gay moment in college."

When she laughed this time, it was genuine, and the tension between them broke. Bella surprised him by flying at him. She straddled him, wrapping her arms around his neck, and he saw there were tears in her eyes, though they were just an excess of emotion. She wasn't crying. "Getting used to a new reality fucking sucks. It's crazy." She blew out a breath. "So yeah, asking me to give up something as important as my home is kind of par for the course."

She gestured around them. "It's an apartment. People get new apartments all the time. It's...not as big of a deal as other things. It would take some time to figure something out, but I'm willing to do it."

Edward raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

"Yeah." She lowered her head to kiss him. "I'm fucking crazy about you Cullen. I can work with this."

"You are crazy," he said. Then he laughed and pinned her beneath him on the couch, kissing her until their laughter turned to groans.

A/N: Many thanks to barburella, songster, and myonlyheroinn. I love you guys.

And I love YOU guys. I just got done with my first final. I should have a little more time soon. Thanks for your patience.