Chapter 2 – Surrender

SurrenderTo give up in favor of another. To abandon. To resign to something as to an emotion. To give oneself up, as to an enemy. Acceptance of despair.

Tezuka didn't know what to expect from Fuji nor did he know if he should be waiting something from him. A deal can only be made if both benefit, wasn't it so? Tezuka was familiar with his reason but he was clueless about Fuji's. Fuji didn't love him, he was sure of that; no matter what kind of feelings Fuji could have they weren't of love or any particular affection.

He couldn't bear to think about the question anymore. Tezuka was logical and that pact wasn't. That was the most he could get.

"Are you not done yet?" asked Fuji impatiently. "If you're not, I'll be heading to the showers to meet you."

"That will be of no need."

Tezuka wasn't really sure of what he was supposed to do. Fuji had been waiting for him everyday for 2 weeks after the club time. They would, subsequently, behave like lovers or so it was what it seemed like to him. Fuji looked different from his usual self and almost passionate however Tezuka couldn't tell if it was true. How could he pretend to see what the tensai hide so carefully?

"Do you believe in God, Tezuka?"

"I believe in people." The captain answered stoically. It wasn't weird from Fuji to make unexpected questions.

"Is that so?" Fuji giggled dryly. Tezuka could still be pretty stiff and surprising when he wanted to. "Is that the reason why you took this bargain?"

He knew Tezuka wouldn't answer that, because Tezuka was simply not the kind of person who answers this kind of inquiries.

"We better leave soon or it'll get too cold." Tezuka stated commandingly, ignoring for complete Fuji's tease.

How long are you going to be capable of run like this, I want to know.

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I feel him so inside me I think I'm going to faint.

This was the only thing Fuji could sense while they were doing it. It wasn't bad; it was in fact quite pleasant. Nevertheless, feeling all the passion running through Tezuka's veins, as he succumbed entirely to Fuji, made him sick. Tezuka's love became alive with his body's silent screeches; Tezuka's love became alive with his fanatical attitude in that crazy pinch; Tezuka's love became alive while he put his lips together and both blew and bit Fuji's everything. Fuji felt intoxicated with that unbelievable view.

Tezuka panted in his shoulder and voiced again.

Those cursed repeated words echoing repetitively, incessantly. "I love you. I love you."

Shusuke loathes it, everything he can breathe in that air, yet he'll endure it. He'll carry on with his plan until that hunger within him fades away. He'll stand it the time it takes, because, more than anything, Fuji wants to know which sort Tezuka is.

The act was finally over; they were both resting in the dimmed and slippery surface of the club's room. Tezuka was out of himself and Fuji thought how much enjoyable it would be to proceed in that moment. He got up and made it all worth.

The devilish boy leaned towards the defenseless Tezuka Kunimitsu, lying exhausted on the icy floor and whispered in an almost tender tone of voice.

"I don't love you." Fuji said slowly, as if he was savoring and treasuring each one of his own words. "However I won't leave you and you can't leave me."

Tezuka laid on the floor like a dead body, motionless and expressionless. Even so, Fuji could tell, since he knew really well what he was searching for, that the always so steady captain was actually shivering.

"You belong to me." He handed his final blow and left the room.

And now, you'll surrender.

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My senses just don't make any sense anymore and I don't know what to do without them.

It wasn't in his nature to cry, to feel despair or even sadness invade him. He would never let anything outside to interfere with who he was and that cost him nicknames such as 'Stoic' and 'Taciturn'. He simply didn't care; he was gifted with the amazing ability of remaining apathetic under any circumstance. That was the way how Tezuka Kunimitsu had been brought up and it had always worked perfectly with him.

Until he met someone who, with all the easiness in the world, could make his mind, his actions, his soul a total mess. Tezuka had learned over the years that the world he lived in, the world which made sense to him was the world he knew by his senses. He had always put all his trust in them and they had never failed him. Then, why was he now feeling that his all life friends were deserting him? Had he been betrayed by his own distant and reserved wits the moment he handed his being to Fuji?

Tezuka was starting to give in to the feeling that no matter how he thought and analyzed, there was no way out of it in the reach of his hands.

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He had been avoiding him. It wasn't completely unexpected still Fuji didn't think embarrassment would take over so hastily. Was he really entrusted with such a power?

"Why are you doing this?"

The question was pronounced so faintly it was almost inaudible; it couldn't be even called a murmur. Fuji closed his locker slowly and breathed deep in before turning his cheery face towards his buchou who was now looking right through him as if expecting Fuji to hover.

"There are only two kinds of people in this world, Tezuka" answered he as calmly as someone who tells a children's story. "Those who are strong and those who are weak. I just want to see which group you belong."

The stern captain listened carefully and after a rather short silence, unable to contain himself, made his second inquiry.

"Why?"

Fuji knew there should be a 'me' after that. Tezuka was not only interested in Fuji's reasons, he was especially concerned in how his aloof existence could collide with them.

"Why?" he repeated this time more consistently, insistently.

And that Fuji doesn't answer, leaving Tezuka in the most absolute dark unawareness.