Ulquihime: The Heart

Chapter 6

Orihime had been silent for a while now; her tears had stopped rolling down her face and off her chin. Brown eyes red and burning, she rubbed them in an attempt to wipe away any leftover tears, her forehead still leaning against his chest. The moment was awkward to her, and she felt like she was being a burden on him, and a heavy one at that. Propping herself up with her arms, she made a tiny space between them, that way she could tilt her head up and look at him./p

Ulquiorra's mind had been quiet for the first time since he knew not when. Typically, his mind would have been racing, his eyes trying to see all, be all, but this time…his mind was resolute. All the Espada's mind could see was the dark sky, the never-ending sea of sand, and the moon that never seemed to change phases. It was odd to him how this was his first memory, this never-changing environment; all he could do then was see it. It felt like it had been ages ago…but he could still remember it clearly. He'd felt absolutely nothing then. And that was a sort of empty sadness that had given him no purpose, no meaning./p

Now, the Arrancar could feel all of it, the breeze blowing sand around in swirls, the cold of the still and silent forever-night air, it was all things he'd grown used to now. He'd never given mind to the importance of these things, nothing like that mattered to someone like him. He lived to gain knowledge, and to serve the man who'd helped him transform… But now, he sensed more. He sensed the warmth of her hands against his chest, the moisture of her breath, the smoothness of her fingers curling, her arms putting pressure on him slightly as she looked into his emerald eyes, and most of all, the odd sensation he had near his hollow hole as he watched her face analyze him with a few dry tear streaks marked down her pale cheeks./p

Did it hurt him? Was it making him uncomfortable? Was it 'awkward', as the humans would say? No. none of those seemed right. He didn't have a heart, so there was nothing she could be warming, but he was definitely feeling something. Something new. Something strange... He furrowed his eyebrows, his hollow mask making a little wrinkle between them. He'd never come across something he didn't know, that he didn't understand. This was…new. He wasn't sure if he liked not knowing. The girl's eyes followed his, and he felt a weird sudden awareness… It was like being at the mercy of an enemy's blade, which he presumed to call weakness, feeling he couldn't find a better word to suit it. Was she his weakness now?/p

Orihime didn't like the silence growing between them, but she didn't know what to say, or where to start. His eyebrows moved in a questioning form, as if he was in deep thought. Suddenly, she realized he was probably thinking the same thing as her. What would they do? She couldn't bring herself to a suitable answer. Her heart was racing, and she wondered if he could hear it. Heat radiated to her cheeks, and she broke their eye contact, glancing away and trying to cover them with her hands. Ulquiorra instantly grabbed her hands, turning her chin back to him as she let out a small gasp, his eyes were wide and studious. Her cheeks were pink with blood beneath them, an action he'd seen the human body do before in certain instances./p

"Are you embarrassed?" he said, his tone questioning in his normal way as the Espada buried his need to know. But why? Why did it matter now? He had never before cared about what some human would think of him. What was this now?/p

Orihime looked up at him, her wrists clasped in one of his hands as his fingers were still clutching her chin. She could feel the warmth in her cheeks increasing when he spoke and she immediately wanted to look away; however, she forced herself to keep their eyes locked./p

"N-No. I'm not embarrassed! I'm just…shy," she blurted, blinking after she said it. Why did she say that? She wasn't…that shy. Was she? Internally shaking her head at herself, she sighed. "I'm not embarrassed, really… I was just…thinking," she smiled, trying to ease the intensity of his gaze./p

"Thinking about what?" he let go of her wrists, and she automatically leaned them on his chest again. His tone was still the same, as if none of the abnormalities in her tone affected him; he was still himself, no matter what she was trying to change. Ulquiorra Schiffer, Cuarta Espada, Nihilism. Even a girl with this power, could not change that. It comforted him to know he was still who he'd always been, even if deep down he knew he wasn't going to stay that way for much longer… What sort of power could a human have over a being such as him?/p

"Do… Do Arrancars have super-hearing?" she asked suddenly, the blush had lightened a bit, but now it deepened once again. What if he said yes? Oh, what if this whole time he's been able to hear it… She remembered back to her cell, when this had happened before. What if he knew all along? The thought of him knowing when she was nervous, when she was shy or embarrassed, at all times…her fingers curled up on his chest, her eyes trying to blink away her slight worry./p

Ulquiorra didn't realize why she was asking; in fact, it was odd to him that she'd inquire about his abilities. Did she feel threatened? Was that what the pink in her cheeks meant? Was she finally afraid? There was so much he didn't understand about this girl, so much he thought he knew about humans that didn't apply here. The infinite amount of questions she sparked in him was almost infuriating, but her very presence was so calming that he didn't feel the absolute need to press her for answers. It was a mass of contradictions that he was fighting to understand./p

"We have heightened senses from you humans…our senses are also a bit higher than that of a soul reaper," he informed her, studying her face for a reaction. The girl's brown eyes widened a bit, and then sunk, looking away from him again. He didn't know why, but her refusal to meet his eyes bothered him. "Did my response displease you?" his voice was steady and inquiring, but he expected the answer to be yes. His very existence should displease her, and if it did...he wouldn't be surprised./p

Orihime turned her head slowly back to him, her expression shocked. She shook her head fiercely, finally meeting his eyes. His expression startled her, the sadness in his eyes deeper than it usually was. There was always a hint of emptiness in his gaze, a trace amount of a sadness that couldn't be put into words. She couldn't explain it. Even so, his tone hadn't changed, his expression and body language all the same, but his eyes had such a deep, pained sadness in them. It touched her heart, and made her almost want to cry again. Maybe they'd always been that way, she thought, and I just hadn't noticed before?

"No! Of course not, I was just…worried," she laughed nervously, her palms pressing gently on his chest as she spoke, as if to soothe him – it was working, Ulquiorra's thoughts once again quieted, "C-Can you hear my heartbeat?" She tried to say the question calmly, but instead her voice still shook./p

"You are…a strange human," he told her, detecting the rises and falls of her voice to be something unusual. Was she nervous? The idea of his presence making her nervous actually gave him a sense of satisfaction… Was he feeling superior to her? Empowered? This situation didn't feel like it did with the soul reaper, it didn't seem like a rivalry. He felt…equal with the woman, which seemed quite ridiculous in its own right, at least to someone like him. He let out a breath, her touch calming his quarrel of thoughts, an uncanny ability she seemed to possess./p

"Her question caught him off guard, as he had indeed been listening to her heart rate, trying to gauge when she told the truth versus when she lied. For a human, he realized, this may be seen as invasive. It seemed humans were very intent on privacy and secrets, but Ulquiorra did not know how to 'respect' such things. Normally, he could care less if he'd offended someone as minuscule as a human, but the woman before him was more than just human in his eyes. Still, he struggled with a way to explain this to himself./p

"Yes, human, I can. Is this of interest to you?" he brushed it off, feeling like he'd done something 'embarrassing', but not fully aware of what was happening. Human customs were odd indeed…/p

Biting her lip, Orihime's hands shook a bit, her heart pounding faster against her will. So, he knew… He knew he made her nervous, he'd known this whole time. Why did she care? He only made her nervous because he was powerful and had hurt Ichigo before…right? Her feelings were mixed on her opinion of him. He made her nervous in a way most powerful enemies did, but he also...he also gave her butterflies. They flitted in her stomach and up to her lungs and throat, making her voice shaky and her laugh hesitant./p

It was an impact he had on her, his very presence making her feel something…like she was powerful, safe… Safe? That didn't seem right, it didn't seem like that should be what he made her feel… But it was. She felt like she should be a ashamed, and maybe a normal human girl would have been, but Orihime couldn't bring herself to hate the Espada whose sad, sad eyes bore down into her own. The thought brought a small smile to her face, as she secretly hoped that maybe one day she could teach him what a heart meant. Her hand rose slowly, her fingertips grazing the skin of his cheek before pressing softly on his cheekbone. With a gentleness that came naturally to her, she pressed her palm to his cheek, her other hand still pressed to his chest where his number strong4/strong was neatly tattooed. This man…has started to change me, too...

The look on the woman's face as she pressed her warm, delicate hand to his face made him speechless. It was the most serene expression he'd ever seen on anyone's facial features. Her touch was so alarmingly different that he almost wanted to take a step away. Almost. But he couldn't, he felt like he was captured in a spell, unable to move. He couldn't even twitch, his eyes were wide, his mouth open in a startled intake of breath. Head tilted down, looking into her deep, brown eyes, he closed his lips, relaxing his eyes as he took in her very existence. He leaned into her, his eyes slowly closing as he took in her scent. In that moment, he realized something he'd been foolishly denying to himself this entire time:/p

I'm tied to her…

"U-Ulqui-" Orihime exclaimed suddenly, her voice high pitched as they suddenly started falling towards the ground. His eyes snapped open as he felt the sand beneath them, his arms wrapped around her safely. The focus on her scent and serenity had made him want to drown in her, but he didn't want to confess that this was why they had collapsed. His hand had ended up entwined in strands of her hair, and his gaze was fixed upward at the stars in innocence. Orihime blinked, lifting her head from his chest slowly, then giggling softly. What just happened?