Dear Hal,

I know this is the last thing I'll ever say to you, and that's okay, because if Dad and I finish the job, you and Matt and everyone else will be way safer. And we're a little price to pay for that. If we didn't finish the job, at least I'm out of your hair, right?

There's so much I have to make up for, and I know that I never really could, but I hope that you'll be able to forgive me somehow. I never meant for everything to spiral so wildly out of control with Maggie, I promise.

I'm really glad that you'll be here for Matt. He's going to be upset, no matter how much he tries to deny it, and I'm glad he won't be alone. There's no better big brother out there.

I know that, especially before, I was a real ass to you sometimes. I don't know if you remember, but one time you were teasing me about my glasses and then I yelled at you and said that I wished I never had a big brother, that I couldn't wait for you to leave for college.

It was one of those dumb things that people say when they're mad, and I always regretted saying it. I just never knew how to tell you, so I'm telling you now. Better late than never, right?

I used to be so jealous of you, all the time. You were so cool and everyone (especially the girls) liked you so much, and I knew I could never be cool like you were. I probably should have tried to understand you a little more, because it couldn't have all been as easy as I thought.

I'm sorry it took aliens invading for me to be more understanding.

Like, don't get me wrong, a lot of the last few years have sucked because of the whole alien invasion thing, and the whole spikes stuck in my back thing, and the whole eyeworm thing, and so many other things, but I can't hate it all because at least we're way closer than we ever would have been.

Mom would be proud.

If someone asked me before whether or not I thought you'd risk your life to save mine, I would have snorted and said no way, but now I know way better. I know you wish you were going in my place, or at least coming with me so you can watch over me, but this is better. This way, Matt will have someone to watch over him and make sure he grows up right. You were really good at taking care of both of us when Dad was on the spaceship (even if I was being a brat again), and you'll be good at taking care of him now.

I know we never say it because it's not manly, or we're self-conscious, or whatever, but since I'm dead, I don't have to worry about that: I really love you, Hal. You're a great brother, and I love you. I wish I had told you more before now.

-Ben
P.S. I also secretly paid attention to your lacrosse games. I thought you were the best player on the field (okay, maybe that was because I didn't totally understand what was happening, but I was still always excited for you. I was always so proud you're my brother)