Okay dudes! Here's Chapter 3! Sorry this took a while, but I was busy and lazy. Thank you so much for the humongous support I've gotten, over ten reviews is amazing for me being new and all and woah! Over 1000 hits is about a month! That's crazy! My other story is close and it's been out 3 months. Thanks guys!
Collin and his pal Herb were being "super sneaky." After complaining about being hungry for three hours non-stop, an older student snapped and told them that, if they were so hungry, to go ask that crazy elf lady in the kitchens for food. He hadn't been serious, but the two decided to go anyway.
Feeling for the entire world like secret agents, the partners in crime stalked through the halls. They kept to the shadows even though they were both using the disillusionment charm, mainly because it felt cooler to "keep to the shadows." Double 0 Griffindors!
Collin suddenly stopped and put a finger to his lips, forgetting that Herbie couldn't see him. The other boy kept walking and literally smacked headfirst into someone. Herb scuttled back on his rear, but it was too late. Both boys found themselves in the grip of a mysterious man whose face was hidden in shadow. A sinister chuckle came from the stranger who held them both by their collars.
"Well well, what do we have here? Leetle childrens out of bed? my first day and you already misbehave. Hu huh, you are in very much trouble, da?"
It's a nasty shock to walk into your room and find a strange half naked man changing his shirt.
Draco screamed like a little girl and turned away immediately. Crabbe and Goyle wanted badly to laugh, but knowing Malfoy's new position decided it would be wiser not to.
"Yo dudes!" The guy wriggled his head out of the shirt and laughed at their faces, "Name's Alfred F. Jones, I'm your new roomie! what's hanging, dogs?"
Malfoy was breathing slowly and furiously. He had a crap load of stress in his life right now, he did not need anyone else entering the picture.
"Who. The. Bloody. Hell. Are you!" He managed to get out the words despite his still rapidly beating heart.
"Huh? I just said my name, didn't I?" The boy looked confused and his smile slid for a second before reappearing full force. "Haha! You mean who I am. Sorry kid, that's a secret!" He beamed, not noticing the two gargoyles cracking their knuckles menacingly.
"I mean," Malfoy regained his normal drawl. "What are you doing here?"
"OHHHHH! I get it now! Like I said, I'm your roommate! There weren't any teacher offices left so Dumbledore said I could pick a house and Ravens are like, birds, I don't even know what a Griffin is or why it has a door and Hufflepuff reminds me too much of my brother and some weird Pokemon. Slytherin was the most BA sounding so I totes had to pick it and seriously, what is a Hufflepuff anway?"
All of this was in one breath. The American accent sounded foreign and the slang was so slurred and fast that Draco's head spun. There was one part he could make out, though.
"Wait, Dumbledore sent you?"
Did he know? Had he guessed? Draco had a moment of panic before his sense of logic regained control. Of course not, there was no way he could have and besides, this boy was a complete lunatic, not to mention clearly an idiot. He would be easy to manipulate and trick. Still, he was curious what the headmaster had to do with this weirdo.
"Yup, he sent me! Well, Matt says he sent him but he's a Canadian! Yeah, I'm your new assistant History of Magic teacher, isn't that totes awesome!"
No, no it was not.
He was completely lost. It was like trying to navigate through a labyrinth with talking pictures and ghosts. Matt wondered again whether Alfred had realized there were ghosts here yet or not. He was probably already at dinner; having a house to guide him. It wasn't as easy getting to the dining hall from the teachers' dorms…
"Oh! Well hello America!" A sweet and creepy voice reached him. Matt jumped about three feet. "Huhu! Even the big bad superpower can get ze jeebie heebies sometimes, da?"
"Yeah… he can. I'm Canad- I mean Matthew. Ivan, we're supposed to use our human names… remember?"
He sighed exasperatedly. The Russian had caught him off guard (and mistaken him… again) but they were pretty good friends. Aside from the fact that Russia mistook him for America every time he saw him…
"Oh, I am sorry. I did not remember the name thing. Silly me." He smiled and Matt shivered. He should be used to Ivan's creepiness by now. He wasn't.
"Oh by the way," Matthew asked slowly, trying to sound nonchalant "are you headed to dinner?"
"Mmm hmm. You want to join me?"
"No I already told you- oh. To walk to dinner. Yeah sure, eh. It's not like I don't know where the dining hall is but ookay."
"You are completely lost, da?"
Aw maple…
"Harry, Haarry, psst Harry-."
"What, Ron? I'm trying to eat."
"Look at the head table. Who's that guy next to Flitwick?"
There was indeed another man up at the table. Like Feliciano, he seemed much too young to be a teaching assistant but he also seemed a lot less overly cheerful. His hair was a darkish silvery blond with a little curl falling over his face and he wore a pair of glasses on the bridge of his nose. There also seemed to be something furry in his lap, but from this distance, Harry couldn't tell what exactly it was. The newcomer was also throwing frustrated and annoyed looks towards the Slytherin table for some reason.
Harry glanced over his shoulder and noticed a very unhappy looking Malfoy. On further investigation, Harry realized that there was an extra Slytherin at the table.
"Hermione, is that a first year?"
"What?"
"That guy, there." He nodded towards the loud guy sitting next to Draco who appeared to be telling a dramatic story, much to the delight of some of the younger Slytherins and the Ravenclaws a table over. Ron was too busy laughing at Collin Creevy who was sitting sullenly looking very awkward. He kept shifting on his buttocks and glaring at the guy standing next to Flitwick who caught his eye and waved with a wink.
"Still smarting, eh Collin?" Seamus grinned and the glower he received for his comment.
The story had spread quickly through the school after breakfast and had circulated the Griffindor table during lunch. Apparently last night, Collin Creevy and Herbert Stump had gone to get some snacks from Iris and had been caught by the new teacher. He'd given them a humiliating "Russian Correction" which included them bending over his knee in turns and spanked mercilessly with a wood switch. The half-bloods and muggle-borns especially got a kick out of this (something similar had happened to Harry at least a few dozen times).
Up at the head table Dumbledore stood up, ushering a silence through the hall.
"Well, I know some of you have met him already," he glanced at Collin who sunk lower in his seat, "But since all of our new arrivals have finally managed to congregate here, I think it is high time for a full introduction. Ivan Braginsky will be filling the, apparently, much needed position of assistant caretaker to our own Argus Filch."
Ivan smiled and waved at everyone. For some reason, this had an adverse affect and caused the hall to shudder as though a draft had suddenly swept through.
"Hallo everybodies! My name is Ivan, but you can caul me mister Braginsky because if you don't," Here his face seemed to get darker and his voice lowered although he was still smiling, "I will be beating you senseless as is the Russian vey and throwing you into Siberian winter as we are doing to bad childrens in my country."
"….."
"Just kidding!" everyone breathed a sigh of relief, "It is not winter and we are not in Siberia!"
He beamed at all of them but the silence that followed was intense. Harry figured no one would be misbehaving from now on.
"Well, thank you Mr. Braginsky, next is-"
"Hi! I'm-a Felicano Vargas-!"
"YOU WERE ALREADY INTRODUCED LAST NIGHT!"
Snape seemed to have blown a fuse.
"Veee~ I sorrrry!" The Italian cried and started to babble apologies.
"Anyway, Professor Flitwick's new assistant, as you may have noticed, has arrived as well."
The man at the table stood up and looked around shyly.
"Uh, hi, I'm Matthew Williams-eh. I'll be assistant teaching your charms classes. It's really nice to meet you all I'm looking forward to-"
"OH MY GOD! YAHHHH!"
The poor guy found himself drowned out by a scream from the Slytherin table. All heads turned as the dude Harry had noticed before suddenly jumped up and pointed at Nearly Headless Nick, who was showing the first years how he got his name.
This man was a lot taller and older looking than Harry'd originally though. He had to be in his late teens and he wore glasses. Actually, he looked a bit like the Matthew guy…
"Gggg…"
"Oh dear God no." Matthew went pale "No Al- don't-"
"GHOST! MATTIE HELP!"
In less than a blink, he had somehow sprinted to the head table, vaulted it and clung to Mr. Williams like some little kid.
"Oh my god oh my god is it still there ah! It's going to eat me I swear oh this is so messed up Arthur says they don't eat people but what does he know OMG IT"S MOVING!"
"Al… Al.. ALFRED FOR PETE'S SAKE, GET A FRICKIN GRIP ON YOURSELF!"
Everyone stared in shock except for Ivan who had made his way up to the table and whispered something into the alleged Alfred's ear.
"HEY! That's not true you damn Rooskie!" The sudden change was extraordinary.
He had his hands on his hips and was glaring daggers at Ivan who was muttering and glaring darkly back. He then realized he was being watched.
"Oh, hey, hi British People! I'm Alfred F. Jones, the hero! HAHAHAHA! I'm your new dude for History of Magic! Fo realz y'all." He then proceeded to sit down, right on top of Matthew. "Oh yeah and this is Matt, he's my less cool twin and he owes me money! Hahaha! Who's who's underwear now?"
That last remark was really soft and only his brother heard it. The rest, however, was ear shattering and left everyone with the same thought:
Dear Lord, he was American.
That night, after he'd managed to get rid of his brother, Matt took a walk to clear his mind. It had been completely embarrassing and a total disaster. Geez, why did Al always have to humiliate him? He strolled through the halls distractedly and didn't realize where he was until he found himself there. It was a small corridor off a main hall and something about it wasn't right. There were two doors, one to his left and one two his right, but both were open. They were empty classrooms, nothing strange about that; it was the end of the corridor that was bothering him.
The nation walked forward curiously. It felt like a draft was coming through the wall, but that couldn't be right. It was only a wall made from the same type of stone as all the others in the castle only, something was off. He felt a slight pounding in his head as he approached it and it increased when he laid his palm against it. Strange…
He shook his head and turned around. He was tired, that was all. There was nothing different about that corridor than any of the others… and yet. As he got into bed that night he remembered another time when he'd been on that same floor in that same hall, but as he tried to think about it more, his head began throbbing. It wasn't connected, it couldn't be but he did remember something strange. When he'd been there the last time… he could have sworn there had been a third door.
TBC...
Just an FYI, the Underwear comment is a joke from a comic con where someone defended Canada when his English voice actor (who does America too) called him a stupid hat. The voice actor then retaliated with the question "So the rocky mountains are like, the stain or something? That's just gross!" XD sorry for so much OOC text, but I had to clear that up.