Matou Shinji and the Philosopher's Stone
A Harry Potter / Fate Stay Night Story
Disclaimer: Though I wish it were otherwise, I do not own or in any way, shape or form hold a legal or moral claim to elements of either the Nasuverse, the Potterverse, or other works I may reference in the course of this story.
Summary: Ladies of Eternity, magi of the past hiding in the present, with ancient, nigh unfathomable crafts at their command. That is the destiny of a Witch in the Moonlit world, with the female child of a witch bearing the destiny of inheriting the blood and history of their line without any exceptions, upon which the mother will expire, her task done. But this is a story of a Witch's son – a boy tossed aside by destiny – a boy determined to become someone special, with blood, sweat, and wand. This is the story of Shinji Matou, and his newfound path in the Wizarding World.
Chapter 8. Panic, Seaweed, and Goblins, oh my!
When, Matou Shinji woke the next morning, it was still dark. In spite of his tiredness, he really hadn't slept too well, mostly due to the presence of so many bodies – so many people all around him. The sounds of other people awake and trying to sleep – or those sleeping and snoring in the case of someone in the room – the sheer knowledge that just outside the curtains he had drawn there were so many other people made his skin crawl.
He could have used his ofuda to create a ward of sound, but it wouldn't have helped. The snoring irritated him; other people being around – that made him feel caged.
He wasn't used to sharing a room with anyone, and suddenly being thrown into a dormitory with so many people his own age felt…unnatural, almost oppressive. He didn't feel safe – felt almost claustrophobic, really, and had had to force himself to relax and steal what bits of sleep he could.
By nature, magi were often solitary individuals, who while accepting the necessary evil of dealing with normal humans in public, needed a space to themselves. This was for several reasons – protecting their research being the foremost, with safety being another – since one never knew that another magus would do.
Their research – and their continued ability to perform their research – was what mattered, hence why every magus worth his or her salt had a workshop. Even Shinji, in the short time he'd practiced onmyoudou, had made a makeshift workshop out of his own room – somewhere he wouldn't be bothered, could work without the possibility of someone discovering what he had done.
Especially normal human beings. Exposure was one of their worst fears, in fact, especially if there was nothing they could do about it.
And there wasn't, here.
Shinji grimaced, trying to stay quiet as he opened his trunk, retrieved his toiletries and made his way to the bathroom to freshen up and perform his morning routine, using one of his precious ofuda to seal the door.
It was a waste of precious power, he knew, as his stock was limited, and each one he used – emptying it of prana in the process – was one he would have to refill. Still, he didn't care.
After last night, he didn't think he could take other people being around when he brushed his teeth and showered, when he was so vulnerable.
Safe and alone for the first time since coming to Hogwarts, Shinji shuddered, slumping against the wall, his breath ragged. Gods, he looked like…well, like Granger had looked after he'd sealed her.
And he wasn't under any spell now, hadn't been overpowered by anything but his roommates' very humanity.
It was pathetic.
If anyone could see him now – and he was thankful they couldn't – they'd see that he was a mess. And why wouldn't he be?
All of his life, Matou Shinji had prepared himself to become a magus, training his mind every day for that future possibility. He'd cloaked himself in a magus' mindset, the beliefs and lifestyle of one…
…and he'd done so for so long that he'd forgotten what it was like to be a normal human, to be a child. Magi were never truly comfortable around others, and the very idea of acting without thinking, to be free with emotion was…almost unthinkable.
Especially when it was around people who might as well be strangers.
Take Tohsaka Rin, for example, the Second Owner of Fuyuki – the person who Shinji had wanted to be once. She always wore a mask, always seemed "perfect" to people at school, where she exceled at everything, was respected by everyone, and was almost never rude to anyone.
That was almost certainly a byproduct of one of magecraft's prerequisites: self-hypnosis. Casting a spell, or channeling power required placing one's mind into a state where one could control one's Circuits and visualize what one wanted to achieve. That's why incantations differed between magi, even for something as simple as a fireball – the words were not meant to affect the world. They were meant to affect one's inner self, to put themselves in a state where they could affect the world.
The visualization – the meaning – behind the words was what mattered.
…the only exceptions to these were Grand Incantations, where multiple people worked together to influence the world in a Greater Ritual like the creation of a World Egg – or that great forbidden magic: the activation of a Reality Marble.
Matou Shinji had spent most of his life trying to become a magus, in spite of his lack of circuits, internalizing everything he knew about what it meant to be a magus. Control of breath, distancing himself from human emotion, from the values of humanity, learning the art of self-hypnosis – these were all things he had learned.
All in preparation that when he finally achieved a miracle and became a magus, he'd be ready to step into the position of heir of the Matou. When he'd discovered that his…adopted sister was the one who had been picked instead of him, that instead of her being someone the Matou had taken pity on and adopted, it was he who was pitied, his world had broken to pieces.
He'd never be a proper magus in the sense of using Circuits to affect the world, and he'd thrown away his childhood, thrown away most of what made him human. If he was honest to himself, the line between magus and monster wasn't a very thick one at all – it just involved losing the rest of their humanity, trading it for longevity or power.
The choice was always there – that was why so many vampires had become such through their own research, and why the Tower hated vampires so much – they knew that they were only one step removed.
When he'd gotten the Hogwarts letter, he had thought this place would be like the Tower, that it would be designed for magi, as distant a branch as witchcraft might be. One heard about Witches as solitary individuals, after all, ladies of eternity who were untouched by the present.
But this…most of the people around him were absolutely normal. Normal people who somehow had the power of thaumaturgy. It disturbed him on a deep, visceral level. But at the same time he envied that innocence, that bright-eyed certainty that wasn't his, and would really never be.
A little bit, anyway.
Shinji fought to calm his breathing, aware that his heart was racing, his thoughts churning kilometers per second. There was one other reason every magus had a workshop – because in that space, a magus could simply be, didn't have to deal with other people, didn't have to pretend, or play their games – didn't have to feel trapped like he did now.
'Breathe In. Breathe Out. Breathe In. Breathe Out. Breathe In.'
Truth be told, he was scared – no, terrified, not by the strangeness of Hogwarts, the moving stairs, the ghosts, and so forth – but the people. Even in Ravenclaw House, which the Hat had said was the house of Knowledge – for knowing for the sake of knowing – the pursuit of which defined a magus – everyone was too human.
Sokaris being the one exception, to his mind.
It was strange, really, how the one person who intimidated him at Hogwarts was also a comfort to him. But then, she was the only one from the world he knew. The only one keeping secrets. The only one he thought he might be able to fully relate to, instead of the half-relation that he might manage with others.
Which wasn't their fault.
It was his, for not having known what to expect. But now he had to pay the consequences.
He let out a dry sound which might have been a shaky laugh, a sob.
Shinji himself wasn't quite sure which it was.
'Breathe In. Breathe Out. Breathe In. Breathe Out. Breathe In.'
After some time slumped against the wall, he finally manage to get a handle on himself. Anger and irritation – that was easy to fight down in contrast. One only had to note his performance in the common room, one worthy of Tohsaka Rin herself – but probably not Touko.
The sheer discomfort of not having privacy, the violation of it all – that was much harder.
Quietly, he went through the rest of his morning routine, washing off the grime of a long journey and preparing for the day ahead. He had an appointment with his Head of House before breakfast, and he wanted to make a good impression.
'Maybe I can ask for a room I can make a workshop. At least a private space.'
He hated to admit weakness, but he knew he needed help…
…and asking a professor wouldn't hurt his image.
He hoped.
Surprisingly – or perhaps not so surprisingly – when Shinji made his way down to the common room, dressed and somewhat refreshed by his private bath, he found that he was not the first one up.
"…good morning, Sokaris," he said pleasantly, noting the presence of the purple-haired Ravenclaw. She was sitting in one of the overstuffed blue armchairs by the fire, fingers steepled before her, with her eyes closed and head slightly bowed, but somehow, he didn't think she was asleep.
Her deep purple eyes opened at his greeting, and she nodded to the boy, interlacing her finger as she looked up.
Like him, she was dressed in the black robes of the Hogwarts uniform, with blue trim and the Ravenclaw emblem marking her as a member of the house of knowledge. And…his eyes narrowed…her hair, unbound in its braid, still seemed slight wet in the firelight.
"Good morning, Matou Shinji," observed the one who'd implied she was an Alchemist. "Can I help you?"
"Just couldn't sleep," he said blandly. It wasn't a lie, as he had found it difficult to sleep at all, with what bits he caught interrupted by fits of wakefulness. "Time zones."
It may have been a bit of a dodge from the main reason he couldn't sleep, but Shinji was sure it had played some part in his difficulty. And one couldn't blame him for not wanting to discuss such a potent weakness.
"I see," the other noted simply. "It is true that such a difference would be difficult to adapt to."
Matou Shinji had a feeling she understood what he really meant – which again, was both unsettling and a deep comfort.
"What of you?" Shinji asked, as he walked over to the chair opposite Sokaris and leaned against it, crossing his arms. "Why are you up so early?"
"I am not used to much sleep," the girl replied, reaching up and brushing an errant strand of hair from her eyes. "Not anymore."
For a brief second, her expression seemed…lonely, almost fragile – but the moment passed so quickly, Shinji wasn't even sure it had really been there.
"Ah," was all he said, in reply. He had a feeling that many of their conversations were going to be somewhat roundabout. But what—Aha. He thought of something. "So, Sokaris, do you have an appointment with Professor Flitwick this morning?"
"Indeed. As do you, I imagine," the other answered, leaning back in the chair slightly, as if enjoying the comfort of it. "But that is not for several hours yet. Why?"
Shinji wondered if what he was about to ask was really wise, given that he knew next to nothing about this girl. But he'd come too far to back out now, so…
"I'm going for a walk. Explore the castle a little bit," he explained, glancing towards the door of Ravenclaw Tower. "Do…do you want to come with me?"
He heard Sokaris laugh then. A surprisingly gentle sound, given how stern and controlled she usually seemed. He wondered then if she had even less interaction with people than he did – and found he wasn't sure.
"You are remarkable to ask a stranger that without hesitation," she said, seeming a touch amused and a touch reproachful.
"Ah, sorry if—"
But he didn't have to complete his apology, as the other stood up then, getting to her feet in one smooth, fluid motion.
"You are not familiar with this castle, despite the brief tour from the prefects," she said, gesturing to herself. "But then, neither am I. I accept, Matou Shinji."
"You can just call me Shinji," the boy sighed, frowning a little. Having her say his full name every time she addressed him was part of what was bothered him. "I mean, we are classmates."
The alchemist seemed to think for a moment, before nodding.
"Then you can call me Sio-Sialim."
"…Sio-Sialim?" Shinji echoed, his voice almost teasing as his lips quirked.
"…Sialim," she said, slightly flustered, as she looked away. "Or just Sokaris will suffice."
"Sialim it is then," Shinji said, thinking it was…actually kind of cute how she stumbled when she was trying to be informal. Even if she still intimidated him. "Shall we go?"
The alchemist nodded, falling into step behind the boy from the East, as without another word, the two exited Ravenclaw Tower.
The two didn't have much to say to each other as they walked alone together through the empty halls of Hogwarts. Occasionally one or the other – usually Shinji - would make an observation, but for the most part they walked in silence, their footsteps light and unhurried.
Much was a repeat of last night's walk to Ravenclaw Tower, what with tapestries, moving staircases, moving figures in paintings, and suits of armor which Shinji swore were looking at him askance, but at least it gave him time to think without needing to put up a front, or worry about impressions – especially since he wasn't giving anything away by walking, he thought. It did help him clear his head, which was the important part.
He didn't know what his companion thought about their exploration, but he hoped she didn't mind too much.
Strangely, they didn't run into anyone on their little walk.
Or maybe it wasn't so strange. Most people his age weren't early risers, after all. That and it was a big castle with only what, 600 students attending?
He did wonder what his…roommates (and wasn't that a foreign – and disturbing – concept?) would think to see him already gone. Well, he and Sokaris both, actually, since they'd been the last ones in the Common Room last night and the first ones today.
Oh well, if they asked, he did have the excuse that he had an appointment with Professor Flitwick. Both of them did, actually, so it would probably hold, too.
That said…they were there, in front of Professor Flitwick's office.
Or at least he thought it was the office, since Sokaris had come to a stop and gestured at the door, though she hadn't yet knocked. He actually hadn't been paying attention and let his feet carry him onwards – that or followed his dusky-skinned companion.
In retrospect, it could have ended badly, but…there were there
"This is it?" he asked, glancing at the slim figure beside him.
She nodded, but didn't say anything.
"Tomorrow?" he hazarded. If he didn't get some kind of safe place to himself, something where he didn't have to deal with the press of people in the night – walks like this might be all that kept him sane.
"We will see…Shinji."
Huh. She'd actually used his name.
But he had no time to think further, as the purple-haired Ravenclaw rapped lightly on the door, with it opening to reveal a tiny white-haired man with white poofy beard, eyebrows, and moustache, looking much like an elegantly appointed dwarf from out of one of those fantasy books.
In the doorway stood Professor Flitwick, the Charms Master of Hogwarts and Head of House Ravenclaw, in the flesh, dressed in an intricately embroidered olive-green coat and vest.
"Professor," two voices said at once, the two accents causing something of an odd reverb. "Good morning."
"Ah, Matou, Sokaris, you're early!" the diminutive Professor beamed, waving them inside and over to two overstuffed blue chairs. "Come in, come in!"
The two sat down, as indicated, while Flitwick busied himself with fixing some drinks for his guests.
"Tea?" he asked them. "I do have milk or cherry syrup and soda as well, if you prefer."
"Tea will be fine, thank you," Sokaris answered. Oddly enough, to Shinji's eyes, she seemed comfortable than she had before.
"The same, please," Shinji chimed in agreement. Something hot and light would definitely agree with him.
It was only moments later when the small Charms Professor brought them their cups personally, something that Shinji found interesting, before taking his own seat across from them.
The office itself was filled with books and papers, along with many portraits of what he assumed was a younger Flitwick – with shorter, brown hair, a few trophies, and even newspaper clippings. There were even pictures of this younger Flitwick in the midst of combat.
"Ah, I see you noticed the few mementos from my dueling days," the Head of Ravenclaw house squeaked, chuckling. "Won the International Dueling Circuit a few times. The finals were even in Mahoutokoro once."
"You've been, Professor?" Shinji asked. He had thought that many western practitioners did not interact with others, but maybe there were a few who did.
"Oh yes indeed," Flitwick bubbled enthusiastically. "A beautiful place, that. I'm afraid Wizarding London doesn't quite compare, though Hogwarts gives its school a run for its money in the Wizarding Schools Potions Championship!" He focused on the boy from the East, curious. "I take it you picked up your supplies there?"
"I did," Shinji acknowledged. "It was more than I could have imagined."
"Magic is that, my boy," the Professor noted softly. "It is certainly that. Out of curiosity, do you know of any of the Eastern crafts? On-something, it was? Very interesting stuff."
"Yes, sir," the Matou boy replied, holding two of his ofuda. "I have studied onmyoudou. I'm even somewhat proficient at it."
"May I?" Flitwick asked, with Shinji handing one of them over for the Professor to look at. He took out his wand and muttered a few words, raising an eyebrow. "How interesting. Almost like storing a spell."
"Yes, sir," Shinji acknowledged, as the man handed the small slip of paper back to him. "They can be quite useful."
"Anything you can show me?"
Shinji deliberated. He did want to show off, but only had two types of ofuda - the same as he'd used last night.
"Well, these are mostly sealing charms. I guess, I could seal the door?" he asked. Somehow, he didn't think repeating last night's demonstration on either of the two people here was a good idea. At all.
"By all means," Flitwick allowed, curious. As Head of House Ravenclaw, and a master of charms in his own right, he was always curious as to what different traditions were capable of."
Shinji flicked one of his ofuda onto the door, the slip of paper sticking to it and activating the stored spell within.
"May I?" Flitwick asked, gesturing at the door. The part goblin walked over to it, and attempted to open the door, to no avail. Frowning, he took out his wand and cast Alohomora – but there was no change. A spoken Finite incantatem, however, did the trick, and the door opened, with the ofuda fluttering free. "Interesting. Quite a bit of power in a bit of paper. And you said these were sealing charms, not just locking charms?"
"Yes sir. Anything that can be opened can be sealed by this, yes," Shinji noted, remembering the Granger Incident, as he was coming to call it. "My other set of charms has other functions."
"Remarkable work for one so young!" Flitwick enthused, clapping. "Sometimes I forget that other traditions start their children with magic earlier. "I'm sure your mother would be proud of you. She came here some years ago, and was herself rather gifted at Charms."
At the mention of his mother, Shinji went gone stock still.
'What. My…mother?'
After some seconds of the boy not moving, the part-goblin blinked, alarmed.
"Mr. Matou! Mr. Matou, are you alright?" he squeaked, seeing Shinji shake himself and breathe.
"…I…I didn't know," Shinji replied honestly. His mother had gone here? What…? Was that where he'd gotten this power? From the woman who he'd always heard described as useless? First the press of people – now this? This was too much of a shock. "She went…to Hogwarts? She…"
He seemed to freeze again, almost stricken.
"Oh dear…" Flitwick said worriedly, dabbling his forehead with a handkerchief he had just produced. "I'm sorry, lad, I didn't know."
Turning to his old standby, he opened his desk drawer, with several delicious-looking chocolate cupcakes floating out in front of Shinji and doing a little jive.
Shinji cracked a small smile, but he didn't really feel better. Not with this information on top of his near breakdown in the morning.
He held up his hand, shaking his head.
Disappointed, Flitwick returned the cupcakes to the drawer. That usually worked, but then, the boy from the East seemed wound up tighter than most people he'd seen come to Hogwarts.
"You met the Boy-who-Lived, I hear?" he said instead, trying to change the subject. "How was Mr. Potter?"
Flitwick remembered how Shinji had clapped for the Boy-Who-Lived at the Feast. Given how no one else had, it seemed safe to conclude they knew each other.
"He was a good person, sir," the Matou boy answered softly, but it wasn't quite the same. "I was glad he was the first…practitioner of witchcraft I met."
"Hm…is there a reason you don't use the word wizard?" Flitwick asked curiously. "It seems a much shorter way of saying it."
"It was…how I was raised, Professor," Shinji said. "In Japan, being called a wizard means either you are a great Magician. It is a title you earn, not one you get just from doing witchcraft."
Which was true, strictly speaking.
"Oh, I see," the Professor replied, blinking. "I suppose that make sense, Matou. Well, I don't mind, but know that others may find it odd."
"I was raised with similar traditions," Sokaris spoke up for the first time.
"Well, at least you two understand each other, right?" Flitwick smiled. He hoped the two would be good friends – they had shown up together, and as foreign students, probably understood each other's challenges, so that was a good sign. "Did you two enjoy your first night at Hogwarts?"
He thought this would be a safe question, since most did. Homesickness didn't generally set in until a few weeks later, if at all.
Shinji grimaced. He hadn't wanted to say anything in front of Sokaris, but…
"…actually, I'm used to having a little more space to myself, sir," he admitted. This was his one chance to get help, and he needed his space. "I'm not used to all these people around me when I sleep. I can't…"
He stopped talking, but his expression, blank and trembling, said it all – at least to Flitwick.
"Mr. Matou!" Flitwick said, hitting him with a quick Cheering Charm. Warmth suffused Shinji's body, but the boy still trembled. "Is there anything I can do to help? I can't change the formal sleeping arrangements unfortunately, but anything else..."
"Perhaps a private study room would be helpful?" Sokaris suggested. "I could use one myself, as I do not study well with too many others around."
Shinji nodded.
"Yes…that would be…nice," he agreed, giving her a grateful look. "Somewhere I could work on my Onmyoudou and maybe sleep if I need to?"
"I…think that can be arranged," Flitwick said slowly, thinking to himself. "Yes, we do have some private study rooms in Ravenclaw Tower we normally use for students with major projects in their Seventh year. Given the circumstances, however, I believe I can get two outfitted and get you two keys by the end of the day. Would that be alright?"
Shinji and his companion both nodded.
"Thank you, sir," Shinji said, grateful for the man's understanding.
"I thank you as well," Sokaris noted.
Professor Flitwick sighed.
"Good. Let me know if there's anything I can do. My door is always open to a Ravenclaw in need, especially ones from so far away. Do you need anything else?"
When both shook their heads, he dismissed them for breakfast, before pouring himself something a little stiffer than usual to drink.
"Some days, I really feel my age."