This is your NEW school
All characters mentioned in this(except ones that I made up)belong to Rockstar Games. I do not make
money off of this.
Contains slightly worse language than in the game and sexuality. This chapter contains drug references. – XX-THIRST
…Chapter 5: The Death of Lionel
" We need you to kill Lionel Nerdstrom ".
" W…what?" said Jimmy , backing up slightly. Leo began laughing.
" Oh ,ha, ha , sorry. I meant to say grill . We want to grill him at the spelling bee this Friday. He's the undisputed champion and if you were to defeat him, it would utterly humiliate him and he would be driven to quit school ".
" I liked the killing idea better " .
" Never mind that. But really Jimmy, would you be willing to enter the spelling bee?".
Gary let out a snort and a giggle.
" Ha! Jimmy? A spelling bee? Heh, heh, heh, hee, hee, hee…".
" Shut up jack-ass!". Jimmy punched Gary in the shoulder.
" Fine! Spell Antidisestablimentarianism".
Jimmy frowned.
" Uh…A. N. T. I. D…E? ".
" Alright Four Eyes, we can all see here that I should be the one to enter that spelling bee. I can break this guy. I know how he ticks ".
" Yeah, takes a know-it-all to know a know-it-all".
Ignoring Jimmy, Gary continued.
" I think it'll take more than winning the spelling bee to break Pizza Face. Come on, your brains are huge, think guys ".
They all stood about until Maurice quipped " I know! There's the school play next Saturday! Lionel always rigs the cast list so that he can be the lead male role while we wind up as stage hands . Perhaps you can replace his version with your own? This year's play is Romeo and Juliet, so..."
Gary rubbed his hands together while chuckling.
" So we get a guy to kiss old Pizza Face. Logan, you like guys right? You do it ".
Logan Hess shook his chubby head.
" Uh,huh. Not in a million years. I don't want to taste his grimy Kool-Aid mustache".
" Fine, we'll get someone else to do it. Jimmy? Wanna take one for the team? ".
Jimmy smacked him in the head.
" Ow! Heh, heh, I was only kidding Jim. Can't take a joke? ".
Leo sneezed. Gary jumped, avoiding a nasty ball of green snot that shot out like a bullet. It splatted upon the ground .
" Oh geez! Almost got that shit on my shoes!".
" Sorry. I think my allergies are flaring up".
Jimmy held back the vomit creeping up his throat.
" Gross man ".
" Now that we're done with that…" said Gary leading Jimmy away," I think we can handle it from here".
As the two boys left, Maurice sighed.
" Are you sure those two are the right guys for the job?".
Leo shrugged and said " Well I'm certainly not about to dirty my hands ".
Gwen timidly mumbled " Should we really be doing this? I mean, driving a fellow student to quit school….".
Julius tittered in his oddly high pitched laugh. " Hee,hee,hee,hee! You're only saying that because you have a crush on him! ".
She blushed crimson red, causing more zits to flare up upon her face. She buried her chin into her chest.
In the meantime, Gary and Jimmy had arrived back into the main hallway. They were seated upon a plush green couch.
" I think I know who we can get to kiss Lionel at the school play. His name's Kody Brant, one of the metal heads ".
" Okay ,let's ask him then ".
" Eh, let's see, tonight's Tuesday, so…err, we'll have to wait until Thursday".
" Why?".
" Because he's stoned as hell on Tuesdays and Wednesdays ".
" Ah…".
" Don't mess with him when he's stoned. It's not a pretty sight".
" How would you know?".
" Cause I did weed with him and the rest of the gang".
" You smoked that stuff?".
Gary let out a crazy hyena laugh.
" Did you really think I was going to be a goody two shoes once I got here? I'm Gary frick'in Smith!".
" Doesn't it affect your meds? ".
" Only a little. Besides, when in Rome, do as the Romans do. Doesn't hurt to get friendly with a clique does it?".
" I guess not…never smoked weed though".
" You're kidding… YOU of all people Jimmy have NEVER done grass?".
" No way. I don't drink either. Stunts your growth".
" Yeah, we wouldn't want you to get any shorter ".
" Why you -!".
A hall monitor called out Jimmy's last name from across the hall. He jogged over to the stern looking dark-skinned woman who, when greeted by him, shoved a folded sheet of paper into his hands.
" From Head Mistress Whipenhoffen. You may go Mr. Hopkins ".
He read her name tag before she turned to leave. Mistress Brenda Jones. Then he read the paper he was given. It contained the names of some fifty six prescription medications and twelve vitamins, all of which were assigned to a certain Gary Smith. Below the list was a note, written by the head mistress herself, that said it was imperative that Herr Smith take EVERY one of his medications and vitamins, otherwise it could have dire consequences. She also wrote that Jimmy had to stand up straighter because when he slouched, it made his ass look like a girl's ass.
Upon returning to where Gary was still seated, Jimmy crumpled the paper and stuffed it into his pants pocket.
" What was that all about?".
" None of your business".
" Come on Jimmy, we're pals, you can tell me".
" I don't remember us agreeing to be 'pals' ".
" Well, we're both stuck here, so might as well sick together, right? ".
' I guess I have no choice since I have to keep an eye on him. Shit! '.
" Oh hell, fine ".
" Great! " said Gary patting Jimmy on the shoulder. He got up and motioned for Jimmy to follow him.
" Where are we going?".
" The library. The Spelling Bee sign-up sheet is there and we need to go fetch Simon. He can help us switch the cast lists on Thursday ".
They made their way through seemingly endless corridors and eventually came to a set of double doors which read " COURT YARD A1 " above them. Going through, they stepped out into what looked like a small town lined with shops, restaurants and other buildings with students walking in and out of them.
" What's this place?".
" The students hang here during 'off week' as we call it. You know, when we're not allowed off campus. I'll tell you more about that on our way to library ".
Gary explained along the way that Brat-Hog academy was in the middle of a spacious forest. The only way to town (if you didn't drive a car, which most of the students were too young to do) was via a special bus and that bus only ran every other week, hence the crazy rule. That and the leather cow(as Gary called the head mistress) just needed an excuse to control them.
The boys had now arrived at the library and climbed the twenty something stairs to the entrance. Once inside, they passed the sour faced librarian Ms. Lemonstill, who's expression was about as pleasant as spoiled milk. Her thin lips crinkled at the sight of them and she was about to say something when a kid putting a book back upon the shelf upside-down took her attention away from them. She scurried over to scold the young man and fiercely wagged an index finger in his face. Gary quickly pulled Jimmy by the wrist away from the disgruntled old bat and lead him to a large cork board covered with flyers.
Gary found the spelling bee signup sheet posted there. As he expected, Lionel's name was first on the sheet. He read off the other names to Jimmy.
" Let's see…We have Saturn Rogers: Hippie. Keith Doe and Nigel Wilcox: a wimp and a blimp. Also goths. Ronnie Harper: Tough girl. MAJOR lezbo. Kyle Brooder? Okay, I don't know what hell his name's doing on here. Eh, maybe Mr. Phonic is making him do this as punishment. Anyway… he's the leader of the Jocks. John Lewis: Metal Head. Katey Olson: Cheerleader. Robert Hinklesack: Farm kid. And now…last but certainly not least….". He scribbled down his signature.
" The great Gary Smith!".
Jimmy squinted at the signature.
" Looks more like ' Hans Smirnoff ' to me. Your signature sucks".
" F- you Jimmy. Now let's go find Simon".
They soon found Simon in the Science section. He was reading a book entitled " Fireworks: A History of Such". Gary tapped him on the back, but he seemed to be absorbed in his reading.
" Hey! Tampon boy!".
Simon spun around. For a split second, he had the strangest expression, one of both incredible fear and absolute rage. Gary and Jimmy jerked back.
" Oh my! Terribly sorry, you startled me a bit ".
Gary plucked the book out of Simon's hands and put it back on the shelf ,upside-down. He then proceeded to tell him about the plan to switch the cast list for the play and how they were going to force Lionel to quit school. The two began arguing about the ethics about such a thing, Simon stating that it was morally wrong, while Gary said he give a flying…Jimmy cut him off with " If you guys are finished bickering, let's get this crap done and over with".
Gary snickered " Since when did you learn a big word like 'bickering' ? ".
Jimmy replied with an angry glare.
" Anyway Jimmy, we can't switch the cast lists tonight. We have to get Kody to agree to kiss Pizza Face first. And there's a very slim chance that's going to happen ".
The rest of the night and Wednesday flew by without incident (aside from a big cafeteria food fight instigated by the Farm Kids). Thursday night came and at 7:15 pm, Jimmy and Gary went through COURT YARD B2 and came to a sort of apartment building.
" The kids with more money at this hell hole sometimes rent apartments in the court yard instead of staying in the dorms " Gary said while chewing on a toothpick.
" What's the point of getting an apartment?".
"You get a nice view of the forest, you get your own fridge and bar and best of all, you don't have to share your space with another person ".
Once in inside, they rode an elevator to the third floor and walked to apartment 36A. Gary rapped upon the door. It opened and out stepped a boy of maybe sixteen or seventeen with shaggy, shoulder length brown hair. He had a dirty bandana tied around his fore head and thick leather boots on his feet, looking every bit the typical rock band member. He shook Gary's hand and slapped him on the back.
" Hey man, how's it hanging? ". He then noticed Jimmy. " Who's that? ".
" Just the new kid ,Jimmy, who beat up Pizza Face on Tuesday. Anyway, we need a favor from you".
" Sure, come on in".
The distinct scent of marijuana and sweaty socks floated through Jimmy's nostrils, almost making him gag. He pinched his nose between two fingers and followed the other boys inside. The walls were plastered with posters of just about every music band known to man, from The Rolling Stones to KISS.
" Anybody want a beer?" Kody said, opening up a can. They both declined the offer and instead, sat on the floor. Gary spoke.
" Okay, here goes. The Geeks are pretty much pissed off with Pizza Face Lionel and want him out of this school. The first step is to beat him at the spelling bee ".
" Really…". Kody didn't sound particularly interested.
" Now for second step, here's where you come in. The school play's next week and Jimmy and I here are going to rig the cast list. We were hoping that you would be willing to play the role of Juliet. It's only for one scene, but you get to kiss a guy ".
Kody's eye brows raised, now more interested.
" And who would that guy be?".
" Lionel ".
His face suddenly contorted and turned the shade of rotten spinach.
" No way! ".
" Come on, we need you for this, man! I'd ask one of the hippies, but the whole rigging of the cast list would go against their morals or whatever because they're all about free love and shit. Look, I'll pay ten bucks even, if you just do this ".
" Make it twenty and we got a deal. Oh and I also get to go on a date the new kid " said Kody, pointing at Jimmy.
" Wha? Hey, whoa! I am NOT going out with you! I have a girlfriend! I'm outta here! ". As he began to leave, Gary pulled him by the arm.
" Oh get back here. Relax Jimmy. It's one date ".
"… fine. But no funny business Kody".
The metal head responded with a wide grin.
" Heh, heh, sure thing little guy. Our date's gonna be next Monday night, seven-thirty p.m and I gotta be back by eight thirty because I got band practice at nine ".
Jimmy complained all the way back to the dorms about how he couldn't believe he'd gotten into this, that Zoe would be pissed and rip his balls off, that his life was shit, that Gary was a jerk and a stupid f-
" Oh quit your bitching Jimmy. You're acting like I pimped you out or something ".
Rounding a corner was Simon and upon seeing them, he skipped over to greet the boys.
" Jolly good evening! Say, can chat you two up for a bit? I need some help studying and I was wondering if you could-".
Gary cut him off ,saying " Nope, but there is one thing you can help us with" while he and Jimmy headed for their dorm room. Simon trailed behind, struggling to keep up. Jimmy, after a moment, asked him
" Hey, by the way, where the hell do you disappear to during gym class? ". Before he could answer, Gary let out a groan.
" Urgh! What the f-? Someone put crap all over our door knob!".
" Huh?".
Jimmy examined the knob. It was covered a dark red sticky liquid.
" Oh shit…it…it's blood!".
Simon gasped as his face turned stark white. Gary said nothing, but still looked weary. He used the end of his shirt to slowly open the door. The room was dark, but they could make out a strange shape on the floor. Gary flicked the light switch on . All three young men screamed. Lying upon the floor in a bloody heap was Lionel with a knife stuck up under his ribs.
Is Lionel really dead? Who killed him? We'll see what happens. -XX-THIRST
In case you were wondering:
Antidisestablimentarianism : is a political position that originated in 19th-century Britain in opposition to proposals for the disestablishmentof the Church of England, that is, to remove the Anglican Church's status as the state church of England, Ireland, and Wales.
*UPDATE 10/04/2013: Fixed some spelling mistakes*