Chapter 4
I wasn't going to cry anymore I told myself, as I sat in the back of the Impala. I didn't want them to ask. I had my IPod on shuffle, and just tried to drown out my feels with some Rob Zombie, AC/DC and Five Finger Death Punch. So far, so good. It had been almost three hours, and I hadn't looked at my phone. Maybe I had never stood a chance, maybe I was just a big coward. Sam and Dean didn't need anyone, right? But my heart and soul were telling me something else.
Then a song started playing, and I knew for sure it was not on the playlist I selected. Hands shaking, I looked at the display. Can't Stop, One Republic, To you, From me. That is exactly what it said. I felt tears sliding down my cheeks as I listened to that song, and my heart ached. I cried and didn't even care that they were watching me. I wasn't even registering that the Impala was no longer moving, until the song stopped, and I looked up. They were all looking at me, and I just couldn't take it, I bolted out the door still clutching my IPod and ran, towards the forest, the song had started playing again, it was on repeat I guess.
I ran and ran, as the rain started, through the trees, everything a blur. The song still playing, over and over… I guess this is what it's supposed to feel like
No, we don't talk,
No, we don't talk,
We don't talk anymore
I don't want to live without you.
I can't live without you every day.
The song kept playing after I finally collapsed to the ground, and I couldn't breathe, couldn't think, sobbing and all I wanted was him. Balthazar.
I heard someone approaching, and I knew the boys must have finally caught up with me. I stared at the ground, watching tears fall. Or maybe it was the rain, I wasn't sure anymore. I finally looked up, slowly, the slacks, the gray V-neck, those piercing blue eyes. I can't stop thinking about, thinking about us anymore. I didn't even have time to think before his mouth was on mine, our bodies falling into the soft grass, rain falling almost in slow motion around us. I can see stars. I can see lights. And I swear, they're shining here.
I looked up at him, our bodies tangled and damp, as he slid the headphones off. "Balthazar…" I sobbed as his lips reclaimed mine, his hands tangling in my hair, mine sliding up his shirt. Our hands began roaming everywhere, I moaned as his mouth worked down my neck, the buttons in my shirt didn't have a chance as he tore it open, mouth moving lower. I arched my head back and my eyes closed as his mouth found the hollow between my breasts.
He looked up at me, as I tangled my hands into his hair. "Let's get you out of the rain love." In an instant we were in a small log cabin, in front of a large fireplace. He pulled me tighter into his embrace, and I knew all the warmth I was suddenly feeling wasn't just from the fire.
His lips brushed my ear, along my jaw to my lips. It was slow and sweet, leaving me breathless when we parted. His fingers stroked my cheek. "I need to apologize to you love." I cut him off. "No, you have nothing to be sorry about, Balthazar you were right, and I shouldn't have tried to hide this. I can't stand the thought of ever spending another night thinking I hurt you." I clung to him, pressing my face into his neck, breathing in his scent. His fingers stroked my back, and we lay there, holding each other, the only sounds were the rain and the occasional crackle from the fireplace.
I woke slowly, to a faint smell of coffee, making my nose twitch. I sat up and stretched, and blinked a few times as I looked around the room I was in. I remembered falling asleep in his arms in front of the fire, and now I was in a massive bedroom, decorated in deep burgundy and black. I giggled as I saw the gold ties for the bed curtains. It looked like a bedroom you'd see in a 70's porno.
"Is my room not to your standards love?" I looked up as he made his way over, and sat on the bed next to me. He was holding a steaming mug of coffee that I really hoped was mine. He offered me the mug, smiling. "You should really see your hair right now." I groaned as he chuckled. "Thanks for the coffee, and for not having a giant mirror in here." He winked, and looked up. I looked up, and wow, definitely 70's porno bed with a mirror like that above us. I tried to focus on the coffee and not blushing thinking about the two of us in a bed where you really could see everything.
"I hope you don't mind, I let Castiel know you were with me and safe, so your friends didn't worry. And I put your phone on silent, so Dean calling and texting every 3 minutes didn't wake you."
Ugh, that's great. I drank the coffee, omg yummy best coffee ever, and tried to think about what I was going to tell Dean. "You think I should call him?" I looked at Balthazar, feeling like I needed to tread carefully, the last thing I wanted was him walking away from me again. He took the mug from me with one hand and slid the other into my hair as leaned in and brushed his lips against mine. We rested our foreheads together as he spoke. "I think you need to do whatever you feel is the right thing. I am quite fond of you, and I don't want you to ever be hurting because of something I did. I am truly sorry about storming out the other day, knowing you were crying because of me…"
I cut him off with a kiss, sliding closer into him, hands curling into his hair. "Balthazar, it's ok, really, I get it. If I were you I would have done the exact same thing."
He smiled then nuzzled my neck. "Oh really? I wasn't aware you had wings to fly off with."
Giggling I nipped at his ear. "Yup, I'm just full of surprises, didn't you know?"
I gasped as his teeth grazed my throat. "Oh I bet you are love, and I can't wait to find out what every one of them is."