Author's Note: I didn't intend to write another chapter, but when I put this on , I forgot to mark it as complete. As a result, one review on that fiction site wanted to know exactly how Xander met Catwoman, which in turn produced this. Enjoy!
A large German shepherd wearing a pullover black fabric mask which covered this animal's upper skull with holes cut in the cloth for his eyes and ears sat down on his back legs and intently observed the sublime ass presented at the dog's forehead level no more than a hand's width directly ahead.
This adult female's rear end fully deserved a magnificent temple dedicated to the sole worship of that body part, with a congregation chanting fervent hymns of praise twenty-four hours a day in the style of Sir Mix-a Lot's Baby Got Back.
Jennifer Lopez? Flat as a plank. Make that two planks.
Totally ignorant of the animal admiring her rump, Catwoman continued tonight's caper of stealing from one of the Gotham Museum's display cases a dozen jeweled antique snuffboxes which included a special powdered tobacco container having an outlined image of a cat's face mischievously winking done completely in flawless one-carat diamonds. That one would go into her personal collection; with the rest of the snuffboxes turned over to Catwoman's local fence and ransomed back by the museum's insurance company at half their value.
So far, everything had gone completely to plan. She'd slipped like a ghost into the building well after closing hours, the guards wouldn't be back to check the room for a good fifteen minutes, and the security measures were nothing but a joke to someone with Selina Kyle's burglary expertise.
Take for instance the floor pressure mats placed to surround the display case holding the snuffboxes. Anyone stepping onto these presently switched-on mats would activate a very loud alarm, except Catwoman knew there was an inherent weight limit built in the device usually adjusted at around forty pounds of pressure. Nobody responsible for safeguarding the museum's contents particularly wanted to have to investigate ringing bells blasting at ear-splitting levels every time a mouse scampered across the room floor. That'd be forestalled quite nicely by the forty pound weight limit which would prevent any sort of potential thief from setting foot on the mats. What else was going to come along anyway and try a dishonest grab tonight, a trained monkey?
All it took was two minutes for Selina to gather four chairs provided for museum visitors to sit down in the room to admire its artwork, place them in front of the snuffbox display case in two pairs about five feet apart and arranged back-to-back, and then hop onto the upper parts of the chairs. Doing a gymnast's front straddle split with her legs held horizontal to the floor and the heels of her boots resting against the joined chair tops, all of Catwoman's weight was so evenly distributed onto them that the pressure mats didn't make the slightest peep.
If he'd actually had hands, Xander currently transformed into a dog would've applauded at seeing that acrobatic move from where he'd been hiding in the shadows under another display case at the other end of the dimly-lit museum room. In between, of course, while leering at how this subsequently displayed a world-class butt in a black, skin-tight leotard. When he'd been sure Miss Tight Buns was too busy to notice, Xander next moved as silently as a lifetime of sneaking up on vamps and Slayers had taught him, to stop at his own current position. It was all done without the single click of a toenail or a huffed doggy breath.
Still unaware of the pervert in a fur coat right behind her and watching her every move, Catwoman finished the second part of her exploit. The flat glass sheet for the case with an attached lock would've taken too long to pick this lock or use a diamond cutter to carve through the glass, so Selina was forced to think outside the box. Using a tiny cylinder with a nozzle plucked from the backpack she was wearing, this supremely-fit woman squirted concentrated acid entirely around the upper portion of the wooden display case with its thick vertical laths holding up the glass sheet.
Waiting patiently for the acid to completely eat through the wood, Catwoman maintained without any trouble her gymnastic performance. Years of yoga and other contortionist training now came into play, and Selina did an experimental shake of the loose upper portion of the display case. Satisfied it could be lifted entirely and then set aside balancing onto one edge out of the way so as to easily remove the snuffboxes, the Princess of Plunder carefully leaned forward and placed the palms of both hands against the opposite sides of the case. With an indrawn breath, Selina firmly pressed inwards with her hands at the same time. Then, all while maintaining this pressure, she raised up the detached case-
Hesitating for just one more moment to enjoy the witnessed ripple of muscles this created along the sleek portion of Catwoman's lower limbs, Xander then decisively thrust forward his head. This caused the tip of the dog's big, rubbery nose to poke right into a thinly-covered portion of Selina's anatomy which would normally be touched only by a person of the masculine gender upon the provision of the deed to a fully-furnished Fifth Avenue penthouse.
"YAAAHHHH!" shrieked Catwoman, reflexively throwing up her arms and letting go of the removed portion of the display case at the same time. She paid no attention to attention whatsoever to this object flying away, being more occupied with frantically flexing her legs to leap with a thunderous crash onto the table before her, sending snuffboxes hurtling everywhere. An instant later, never having been designed for this, the display case's own supports collapsed under Selina's weight, sending her tumbling to the floor in unison with the detached case portion smashing into splinters and glass shards against the room's far wall.
In response, every alarm in the Gotham Museum went off at once.
Glaring after at the rear red lights of the departing Batmobile from her concealed spot under a dense bush in the extensive park next to the museum grounds, Catwoman inwardly further vowed to make Bruce pay for this. After a ten-minute chase scene throughout the entire building which ended with her finally shaking off that big idiot through liberal use of smoke bombs, she'd grumpily waited for him to leave in between plotting her thorough revenge.
Selina wasn't quite sure exactly what'd happened to start it all off in the first place, tonight's disaster, except for that very indecorous touch. She was still certain nobody but her had been in the room when this female burglar had entered, but obviously this couldn't be. Leaving at her fastest run also meant no chance to check as to whom to blame for that, and then Catwoman had come face-to-face with the Caped Crusader a few hallways distant so it was equally clear Batman was innocent of goosing her.
It didn't matter the slightest. She was going to do something really nasty to Wayne Junior as a minor sop to her extremely bad mood. Next would come absolute vengeance upon the unknown culprit, one to be spoken of in awed whispers for decades by the Gotham underworld.
Flexing her right glove with their attached metallic fingernails as if practicing for sinking these into cowering human flesh, Catwoman took a moment to wonder if Bruce's little tag-along was responsible for the whole debacle. But…no, tonight was a school night, and she hadn't seen the least glimpse of green short-shorts and a yellow cape. Good thing too, or that kid wouldn't live a minute longer in his already short existence on earth.
Wriggling out from under the bush, Selina brushed herself off and glanced around while absently touching the coiled whip dangling from one hip. Let's see, the spare clothes she'd previously stashed under a park bench should be off in that direction… Heading without further ado towards there, Catwoman stalked along the path, savoring the threats she'd make to gangland snitches-
Passing by a side path curving out of sight among other bushes, Selina stopped short at hearing a very strange noise coming from further down this other path. It sounded kind of like a rhythmic whacking of a stick against something: Whap, whap, whap.
Reversing her steps, Catwoman cautiously edged into the side path, and found sitting under the streetlamp there, a large German shepherd. Wearing a black mask. With a dog collar having an attached black dog tag carved into a bat symbol.
Seeing the woman staring at him, Ace the Bat-Hound seated upon his haunches now upped the speed of his wagging tail and happily panted at that nice-smelling lady.
In turn observing the quivering, elastic nose and remembering the recent rumors picked up from Gotham's seediest dens of iniquity that Batman had for his own mysterious reasons acquired a pet dog, Selina Kyle swiftly connected the dots. All of them.
An instant red haze descended over her vision, Catwoman's beautiful face distorted into a vicious snarl, and she grabbed for her whip. Only to freeze motionless as this truly irate woman still bearing bruises down there fought for control.
Yes, as noted in her villain's name, she far preferred felines instead of canines, but Selina had never physically mistreated any animal in her entire life. No matter what it'd done. Removing her hand from the whip handle, she settled for giving that silly thing her best scorching glare.
Rather than quail under this dirty look, the dog got up on all four feet, ambled over to where a startled Catwoman was standing, and sat down again in front of her. Right after, Ace lifted his left forelimb and held it out to be shaken.
Uttering a disbelieving snort, Selina began to turn around in preparation for leaving. She halted in her tracks at the beseeching whine coming from where Ace was still waiting with his paw up and ready. Swinging back, Selina rolled her eyes in exasperation only to then bend over and give the dog a grudging handshake.
In reaction when Catwoman let go, Ace leaned back to perpendicularly balance there on his rear legs and held out both half-closed forelimbs as if begging.
Giving a cynical shrug, Selina played along by telling the dog, "Sorry, fella, I don't have a bone on me, so you're out of luck."
Promptly developing a saddened expression from under his mask, the German shepherd slowly toppled over onto his side. Landing with a thump onto the ground there, Ace let his tongue completely loll from out of the side of his muzzle and then became stock-still in a masterful display of a dead dog.
This produced an actual amused twitch at the corners of Selina's mouth. She couldn't help saying, "Okay, maybe I might have one for you later."
Springing both back into life and up onto nothing but his rear paws, Ace ecstatically danced in a complete circle around Selina who despite herself couldn't help but enjoy this performance. This resulted in her bending over again when that dog dropped back on all four feet and then rolled over on the ground to sprawl flat on his back upon the tips of Catwoman's boots. Recognizing what the dog wanted, a chuckling Selina gave the dog's furry chest a good scratching with every fingernail she had, careful all the while not to cut or slash him with these.
During all that, the human female couldn't help noticing that this was definitely one hung dog.
Speedily casting around for something else to consider besides what she'd just thought, a faintly blushing Selina had to wonder just why Bruce had trained this pooch to do all that-
Hold it.
Bruce/Batman.
Dog.
Revenge.
Bruce/Batman + dog + revenge = $$$$$$ payback.
Abruptly straightening up, Selina stared ahead, a slow, malicious grin developing upon her face. Hmmm, just how would dear Bruce react to a ransom note with an accompanying photo of this kidnapped dog shaved bald except for some dyed-pink poodle fur fluffs and being threatened with Catwoman sashaying with her latest poochie-woochie through Oswald's nightclub? Cobblepot would certainly go for it, even cancelling for that visit alone his latest 'No dogs!' policy…
Looking down at where the German shepherd still supine was staring back up with bright eyes through his mask at her, Selina cooed at this perfectly wonderful canine, "Hey, fella, how'd you like to come home with me?"
In a flash, Ace was upright and at Selina's side, ready to follow this woman anywhere.
Patting Ace's head, Catwoman strode off, already planning where to stop off along the way to burgle a pet shop for everything she might need: dog food, water bowl, and of course some hair clippers. Yep, got to have those.
Obediently following at his new mistress' heels, Xander let himself luxuriate in the moment until a stern inner reproach reminded this transformed man about enough being enough. Now that she was in a sufficiently good mood, Xander could risk what he'd been working towards through all of tonight's absurd events.
*Come to think of it, here's even more weirdness. Let's hope she doesn't freak out too much, or decide I should be neutered instead. Okay, mister, you're up.*
In the deserted nighttime park save for herself and the dog trotting by this woman, Selina Kyle now heard from lower down at around knee level in a hoarse, bestial voice, "Cooome toooo the daaarrrrk siiiide, Caaaatwoooman. We haaaave coooookiezzzz."