The tall witch with a lantern jaw and a pointy nose standing at the north point of the casting circle joyfully cackled, "When shall we three meet again, in thunder, lightning, or in rain?"
At the circle's south side, a much shorter and heavier witch responded with equally delighted malevolence, "When the hurly-burly's done, when the battle's lost and won!"
With that said, these two witches stared expectantly at the third of their number who was the most beautiful of this trio, even while rolling her eyes in evident disgust. From her western position, a young blonde dressed in a sexy purple robe slit up high on the thigh criticized, "Do we have to do this every single time, Mildred?" That very irritated remark was directed at the dumpy witch.
In response, Mildred grouchily shrugged. "It's been over three hundred and fifty years since Bill from Stratford wrote about us and we haven't seen one thin dime from his estate since. I don't know about you but until someone cuts us a decent royalty check, nobody better complain about a little breach of copyright, understand me, Cynthia, Mordred?"
As if her name being snappishly spoken last of all was some sort of signal, the tall witch then contributed in a much more soothing, "Besides, Cynthia, our current customers deserve a bit of a show, don't you think?" This remark of her own from Mordred was accompanied by a polite nod at both the large dog in the center of the casting circle and the final member of their company, who'd been trading rather incredulous gazes with each other over listening to this sudden family squabble.
From where she'd been placed in the eastern point of the circle drawn on the shabby basement floor of one of Gotham's oldest and most decrepit houses dating all the way back to colonial times, Selina Kyle, otherwise known as Catwoman, sent in return a quite gracious smile at Mordred. It was done well enough by Selina that this courteous expression successfully hid her growing conviction that maybe this hadn't been the best idea ever.
In her career as one of the world's finest cat burglars, Selina knew a good deal more about what lurked in the dark than did the majority of humanity who mostly thought it was all a bunch of stories designed to scare children into being good and going to bed early. Spending a lot of her time prowling around at night occasionally ended up with Selina witnessing some definitely odd occurrences. Which included vampires and other demons. As for magic, you couldn't steal as many ancient valuables as Catwoman did without this theme villainess once in a while encountering an authentically cursed or blessed piece of potential plunder.
That was as far as she wanted things to go, though. Selina had neither the time nor the inclination to investigate further the supernatural world. One of the main reasons for her turning down various hopeful clients' commissions was if Selina ever found out in advance they wanted this master thief to rob a wizard's lair or some other place like that filled with magic treasures, she'd flatly refuse right then and there. Selina would cheerfully acknowledge to herself that she was a honest to goodness thrill-seeker, but there was a distinct difference between having an exciting time and being actually suicidal beyond belief.
This also applied to hostile demons, including vampires. She knew and followed the basic precautions against those latter evil blood-drinkers. If absolutely necessary in the course of her exploits when coming across a vampire which promptly saw her as a delicious snack, Selina either ran like hell or killed her fanged foe without even playing with them like a proper cat would do with its prey. Never in her wildest dreams would this woman ever go hunting for them, unlike someone who'd spent their whole life doing this in the company of warrior girls given superhuman powers.
Learning just what kind of person currently trapped in the form of a talking German shepherd had revealed about themselves to Selina made this lady seriously doubt her sanity. Slayers? Watchers? Vengeance demons? Her entire reality being nothing more than a comic book in another dimension which was so popular it'd lasted for almost a century, from paper to computer screens? Weren't computers big, huge machines that just counted numbers and took up whole office rooms?
Yet, Xander Harris' story told to her for hours until sunrise broke over Gotham all fitted together. It eventually resulted in Selina sighing and asking what next?
In his rough, growling voice now even more hoarse despite lapping up half a bowl of water, Xander optimistically inquired, "Doooo yooouuu haaaave Dooooc Faaate'ssss phooone nuuumberrrr, maaaayyybeee?"
Unfortunately, she didn't. In fact, Selina soon explained after the following dozen names also meaning nothing to her about this woman's usual avoidance regarding magic and the resulting unfamiliarity with those in the enchanting biz. Hearing that, a genuinely discouraged expression produced by this on the dog's furry face made Selina really try to think of anything which might help. In the middle of this, Selina couldn't help asking, "Why not tell Bruce what's going on? Actually, I'd like to be there when you do-"
Xander sheepishly rumbled, "Ummm…heee kiiiinnndaaaa miiiiightttt nnnnooot beeee thhhhrrrrillllledddd ooovvveerrrr mmmeee tttttaaaakkkkiiiinggg oooouuttt hiissss ennnnemmmiessss wiitthhh extreeeeemmme preeeejuuuudicccce."
Running that through her mind to make it more comprehensible, Selina shortly nodded. "Batman would never tolerate what you've done here lately, even though you picked and chose among those who were real monsters and the others like me who just want to turn a dishonest buck."
"Riiiiightttt. Pennnngggyyyy annnnddd Riiidddleerrr, nnnnoooo moooorrre thhhaaaannnn crrroooookkksss. Rrrreeeessstt oooffff 'emmmm, mmmooosssstttlllyyy mmmuurrrdeeerrrrerrrrsss. Whheeennn haaaddddd ttttoooo, dddddiiiidddd thhhhhhee ssssaaaammmmee bbbaaaackkk hooommmee. Annnyyyythhhhiiiingggg fffooorrr mmmyyyy ggiiirrrrrllllsss."
Selina's mouth twitched with reluctant humor. "Eddie only wants to outsmart Bruce- Well, maybe not anymore, considering what you said you did to him a few nights ago." Her lips abruptly thinned into part of her newest expression of sheer loathing. "For killing the Joker alone, that'd get you free drinks for life at any bar in town. Every time he looked at me and laughed, I wanted to scratch his eyes out and then scrub myself raw."
"Wwwaaasss aaaaa hooonnneesssttt acccciiiidddeeennnttt."
Waving away that comment, Selina had to agree with Xander's earlier remark. "So, no chance of getting in touch with some magician or anyone else Bruce knows. I do have my own contacts, who in turn might- Hold it!"
"Whhhaaatttt?" a curious Xander wanted to know after seeing how Selina was thoughtfully frowning after abruptly interrupting herself.
"There's something…what'd I say a second ago? About a bar? It was a pretty long time ago and didn't have anything to do with why I was really there, but I overheard a guy telling his friends a ghost story about a weird place somewhere in Gotham. Even weirder were the three women living there…"
The next night, after opening their decaying house's front door to an extremely-fit female dressed up in a cat costume and accompanied by a large canine wearing his own black mask which didn't disguise a very intelligent stare, Cynthia merely stepped aside without a word to allow this strange pair to enter together.
In between their latest bout of bickering, Mordred caught sight of Miss Kyle looking decidedly lost. Clearing her throat in her best suppressive manner to get their attention, this witch told her relatives, "Girls, girls! Let's finish the job first, please? Now, if you're ready, on the count of three… One, two, three!"
Lifting up a skinny hand with its full contingent of warts growing throughout there, Mordred snapped her fingers once with a resulting sharp Crack!
In perfect unison, Cynthia and Mildred did the same. An instant later, a globe of glowing white light appeared around the motionless dog seated in the center of the casting circle, completely hiding Xander from the others' view.
Putting down her hand with obvious satisfaction as shown by a snaggle-toothed grin, Mildred called over to where Catwoman was worriedly staring at this globe, "It'll be a minute or two, dearie. Come along, wait here with us." A jerk of Mildred's head indicated where she wanted Selina to move.
Giving another doubtful glance at the illuminated sphere which didn't look like anything was happening there, Selina nonetheless obeyed the stout witch's instructions. Stepping backwards out of the circle and then skirting the geometrical construct to where the other three women were now clustered, Selina stopped at Cynthia's side, just in time for this blonde to ask, "Ready to pay what you owe us?"
Keeping in mind Xander's previous instructions on how to safely do this, Selina just nodded and reached in one of her costume's pockets to pull out a single dollar bill. Without another word, that money was handed over to Cynthia who accepted it with equal silence. Only when she fully let go and saw Cynthia put away the dollar did Selina dare to wonder now that the bargain had been fulfilled, "Why the low price? I mean, I thought it'd cost more to turn a dog back into a man!"
"Oh, we'd have done it for nothing, missy. A chance to examine up close someone born on a Hellmouth and then spending their whole life affected by so much magic different from anything else we know?" amiably chuckled Mordred speaking for all of the witches. "Still, to be on the safe side, the price we quoted should be satisfactory enough to whomever might be watching us. It also helps your Mr. Harris was a man before his change. Much easier to put him back as he was, sometime when he was fully grown and fit as a fiddle. However, we had to leave one thing alone-"
Just when an alarmed Selina was about to ask what Mordred meant, the globe abruptly shimmered. It then vanished, leaving Xander standing in the middle of the casting circle on his now entirely human feet along with the rest of his normal scarred body which he'd had when Xander was thirty years old and received a cloned eye replacing his missing one.
Blinking at seeing colors again, Xander let a wide grin stretching from ear to ear develop on his regular face having no more hair than the usual five o'clock shadow, and then he thrust his bare arms up with an accompanying whoop of triumph: "YEAH!"
Still holding up his arms while beaming ahead at where four women were gawking at him, Xander suddenly shivered in the cool basement. Damn, but he'd never thought about missing his previous fur, quickly went through Xander's mind, along with looking down at his completely nude body exposed to the surrounding low temperatures.
In a blur of action, Xander's hands shot down and he modestly covered himself. Albeit with some difficulty in this, despite the chilly air.
Leaning over to whisper from out of the side of her mouth to Cynthia, Mordred asked, "You did tell them that for two bucks, we'd provide him with clothes?"
Whispering back above a drooling Mildred in the middle of the trio, Cynthia innocently admitted, "Ooopsie. Must've slipped my mind."
"I'm sure," sniffed Mordred. This aged witch lifted an inquiring eyebrow at how Miss Kyle next marched forwards, directly at Xander desperately glancing around for any kind of nearby garments and only then brightening up at maybe Selina having an answer for this-
Once she got within range, Catwoman punched Xander hard in the mouth, sending him toppling backwards to crash onto the basement floor. Standing over his dazed body as she rubbed at her gloved knuckles, Selina loudly declared with vicious glee in her tone, "That's for goosing me."
The witches continued to watch with shared fascination. They next saw how Selina reached down to implacably grip with one hand Xander's hair and use this to haul him back up onto his feet, ignoring how he bellowed in sudden pain all the way. This agony stopped equally abruptly when Catwoman pressed her nubile body against the man's nude form and used her hands now pressed at the back of Xander's skull to yank him forwards into giving her a scorching kiss regardless of his bruised lips. As if they had a mind of their own, Xander's own hands clamped onto Catwoman's rear end, already beginning to knead the covered flesh there.
Simultaneously grabbing Mildred's shoulders as one, Cynthia and Mordred began hauling this protesting witch backwards, her heels dragging on the floor. In their determined course towards the basement door and the flight of stairs leading upwards, Mildred recovered enough to make a magical gesture towards the nearest room corner. In that location, a huge four-poster bed with reinforced mattress springs, silk sheets, and pillows with hearts embroidered upon the cases appeared from out of thin air.
Mordred and Cynthia looked over a snickering Mildred's head and shrugged in mutual acceptance at each other. A quick nod by Mordred at the basement door had it open on its own. When they all went through this doorway and at the foot of the stairs, the door slammed shut with finality, interrupting the sound of ripping cloth as a costume was reduced to scraps.
Shaking herself loose of the other witches' grip, Mildred gaily skipped up the stairs, humming at every tread.
Behind her and taking the stairs much more slowly, Mordred sighed to a tolerant Cynthia, "I do hope it all ends well, before what I could tell Miss Kyle about happens. After all, there's no way we could've completely cleared all the Chaos magic out from him, right? It's not so bad, being a human twelve hours out of every twenty-four, and then a dog for the next twelve hours. Surely, nobody has that much stamina!"
Author's Note: The witches mentioned above are from one of DC Comics' more obscure titles, The Witching Hour, which ran from 1969 to 1978. Mordred, Mildred, and Cynthia were drawn as the hosts who introduced and sometimes appeared in various horror tales (considering the Comic Code Authority was in full effect then, the stories weren't all that scary). It's true these witches first appeared in three-color print nearly a full decade after Xander landed in the DCverse, but based on both who they are and what they mentioned, this triad of Maiden/Mother/Crone archetypes have been around for a very long time before that.
My only regret is that I couldn't think of a way to add the Mad Mod Witch…