Chapter 17: Transformation

Fiery aching raced through my veins burning my insides with venom. What was happening to me? It seemed like the pain had been growing worse for days when in actuality it had only been a few hours. Why hadn't it stopped? I vaguely remembered seeing Bella and then Carlisle.

Why didn't they make this pain stop? Carlisle was a doctor; he had access to painkillers and such. What if…?No I couldn't. For moment the thought crossed my mind.

What if I was dead and I was in hell. Had I really been that evil? No I hadn't robbed anyone or murdered someone. What if I was in hell because I loved Bella? I didn't want to think of that right now because another burst of agony shot through me alerting me that I wasn't dead, yet.

My reflexes were growing weak; I tried moving my hand and it was about 10 seconds after I thought to move my hand that it finally moved. This was horrible! I wanted death; I practically placed a welcome mate in front of me say "Death Stop Here." If I did end up in hell it would seem like heaven compared to this.

"Bella!" I screamed her name knowing it was useless. My hand suddenly became soothingly colder.

"I'm here," I heard the angel's voice but all I could see was darkness. This couldn't be hell if she was here. Her voice gave away how much pain she was in watching me suffer like this. I had to be strong I hated that I was hurting her like this. A felt another wave of pain growing and I tried to prepare myself to show Bella that I was all right.

But I hadn't prepared for this type of pain.

It felt like I was being roasted alive in a never-ending pit of flames.

Oh yeah I was most definitely in Hell.

Bella's POV

This was my punishment. I was vampire and needed punishment. That was the only conclusion I could come to as I watched Edward, my Edward, suffer the enormous amount of pain that vampire venom brought with it. I wanted to rip myself apart.

The guilt was eating away at me. I was purposely torturing myself by staying with Edward. As long as he was in pain I had to be too; it was my fault anyway.

If I had just stayed with him and Connor then Edward wouldn't be turning into one of us and Connor wouldn't be lying in the morgue. I couldn't imagine the state Emmett had left Connor in. The plan was to make his death look like an accident.

Burn the car and pretend Edward's body's was burnt up it the fiery wreckage. I heard the news report on it. Two teens perish in tragic accident.

Only one died, I thought to myself. Edward screamed again and I finally couldn't take it. I shuffled from the room disgusted with myself.

I shut the door lightly and then slide to the floor. I buried my head in my hands and began to cry again. Why did I have to be so weak?

Alice's POV

I had to stand by and watch my sister silently suffer. Everyone could feel her pain, none more than Jasper; he was barricaded in his room trying to hide from the overwhelming emotions coming off of Bella. Bella was such a loving, caring person she didn't deserve this.

I knew she was racked with guilt though I told her that Edward wouldn't blame her. My vision had been strong and I thought that Edward would look pretty good as a vampire and blaming Bella would not even cross his mind. Their love was so intense, there are and will not be words that could ever describe it.

They were soul mates, and now it was for eternity. As I watched Bella fall apart with Edward's pain I silently thanked God that Jasper hadn't been there for my transformation.

Carlisle's POV

I sat in my study trying to distract myself. My dear little girl was in pain and so was the man she loved. Yet she was lucky.

If she had gotten there two minutes later Edward would have been gone. I felt selfish thinking this but I was glad that he was being changed. Bella was a complicated person and probably would have tried to keep Edward human.

No doubt she would want him for eternity but she didn't want to miss out on living. At least he only had two more days to go.