"Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."

-Rumi

"No!"

The emphatic refusal resounded through the quiet courtyard. Evelyn's attention was drawn away from her thoughts to find Solas and Cole descending a side staircase away from the main hall, engaged in an argument. Her hand traveled to the growing ache on her torso; it was almost time for another dose of elixir. Still, she'd awoken feeling well enough to accompany Cullen on the walk along the ramparts back to the garrison tower. She'd been eager to escape her confinement and the drudgery of the endless Antivan trading contract Josephine had forwarded her for approval during her convalescence. Solas' face was clouded in a stern expression that usually signaled the discussion, as far as he was concerned, was over. Cole appeared distraught, she could tell, approaching them calmly. She wondered if he realized how much he had riled up Cassandra and Cullen.

" But you like demons!" Cole insisted.

"I enjoy the company of spirits, yes—which is part of why I do not abuse them with bindings." Solas marched forward, peering over his shoulder. Cole dourly followed him.

"It isn't abuse if I ask!" he declared.

"Not always true." Solas turned to him sharply. "Also, I do not practice blood magic, which renders this entire conversation academic."

Too much talk of blood magic lately, Evelyn thought, uncomfortably.

The discussion appeared to have reached an impasse. They diverted their attention to her, as she stood by watching them. Cole approached her with urgency.

Has he always seemed this boyish? She peered at his face, so fair, but slightly ruddy with the blemishes that often plagued youthful complexions. Has he always seemed this vulnerable? He seemed less ethereal and more substantial.

"He won't bind me," came the accusatory complaint. "He's a mage, and he likes demons, but he won't help."

Solas stood defiantly in the background, watchful eyes anticipating her reaction.

"Cole, we just saw the Grey Wardens try to raise an army of demons. You want Solas to bind you?" she censured him. She hadn't meant to sound as harsh as she'd come across, but the memory of the blood-drenched mages incensed her.

"He has to!" Cole demanded.

He walked away from them nervously.

"If Solas won't do the ritual to bind me, someone else could. Will! Like the Warden mages! And then…" He faltered. "I'm not me anymore. Walls around what I want, blocking, bleeding, making me a monster," he confessed.

A monster? Evelyn startled. It had been the accusation flung at him by some of the others from the beginning. Had their fears gotten to him at last? She recalled the words of the spirit she met in the Fade. Hadn't it told her that everything that happened in their world also affected the Fade, changing it in ways unimaginable? Could Cole be vulnerable to change because of his coming through from the Fade? The answer seemed obvious. All occultist texts repeated the old adage: "As above, so below."

"Isn't it extreme for Solas to bind you? What if that takes away the part of you that makes you…you?" she tried to reason. Cole looked at her pleadingly.

"Helping makes me who I am. I help the hurting. That is what I do, all I do, am, me!"

Solas furrowed his brows.

"And if binding you erases your mind? Your consciousness?"

Cole turned to her again.

"You wouldn't make me hurt innocent people. I don't want to hurt innocent people again."

Evelyn shook her head.

"There has to be some middle ground between 'do nothing' and 'bind Cole with blood magic.'" She directed her words more at Solas than at Cole.

Unfortunately, she realized, with a pang of frustration, all of the studies that involved any rapport with spirits outside the Fade had not been accessible to her and her fellow mages at the Circle. As if ignorance were the same as prevention and a viable form of defense, she frowned. The Chantry would have them believe that every single spirit that crossed over from the Fade was corrupted and that any communion between them and humans inevitably led to abominations. She was convinced it wasn't so. Every mage had heard of stories that told of alliances between humans and spirits. The Chantry declared them as apocryphal, but there were far too many to dismiss so easily. As she examined Cole's restless, pacing form, however, she knew better than to turn a blind eye to potential warning signs.

"Indeed," Solas finally replied, much to her relief. "I recall stories of amulets used by Rivaini seers to protect spirits they summoned from rival mages. A spirit wearing an amulet of the unbound was immune to blood magic and binding. It should protect Cole as well," he told them. "The resources of the Inquisition could be used to find such a talisman." He looked at her meaningfully. It would take some skillful maneuvering to convince her advisors to allocate the means and undertake the mission to help Cole.

"Good," Cole said simply, stomping away. "They will not take me," he vowed.

Evelyn exhaled. The ache in her ribs surfaced again, more persistently.

"Solas, do you think Cole is alright? Doesn't he seem…different to you?"

"He cannot cross back into the Fade. That alone is sure to alter him in some way."

"Alter how?" she wondered. Her eyes hovered over the armory building. "You got word from Cassandra, I assume?"

"I did," Solas replied with a smirk. "Knowing Cole, I'd say he was simply protecting the mage."

"Normally, I'd agree with you. But the fact he went after the guard after the attack…It is not like Cole. It is almost as if he were…bearing a grudge? Could that be possible?" A thought crossed her mind and she raised her eyes to the elf. "Solas, you don't think he could turn…into…" she couldn't bring herself to say it. Perhaps it was because she could see in Cole's eyes a disarming lack of malice, or maybe it was that she appreciated the odd but endearing ways he sought to bring relief to those who suffered around him. The thought of having to harm him upset her profoundly.

"It is possible," he admitted. "But…Cole came through for a specific reason on his own, one that resonated very strongly with his essence in the Fade. As long as he remains true to that essence, it would prove difficult to change him."

"Could someone be preying on him?" Evelyn asked in a hushed voice.

"I do not know, but it appears unlikely…The fact that Cole is aware of his inner turmoil should be reassuring. Bindings usually indicate a loss of agency, something Cole still displays."

"Yes…That's an excellent point. And if by agency you mean stubbornness…I don't think I have ever seen him behave like that," " she muttered.

Solas contemplated her thoughtfully.

"Yes…he has, as of late, exhibited some unusual traits."

"So you noticed, too..." Evelyn whispered, drawing nearer to him.

"Had Cole possessed a body, his host's human characteristics would have become a part of him naturally. Cole has not possessed a body, however. He has taken solid form, but it is inhabited solely by a spirit. Perhaps what is affecting him is the natural consequence of taking a corporeal form."

"I don't follow," Evelyn admitted. The absence of a human host in Cole's case, had been something they'd wondered about and even marveled at.

"Perhaps the realm of the physical is causing him to become more human," Solas revealed. Evelyn eyes widened. "Why not? We, mages, can enter the Fade and find ourselves similarly altered and affected."

"Maker…" she muttered. "What do we do?"

"Easy: let the Kid be himself," came the rough voice behind them. They turned to see the dwarf standing a few steps away from them, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Varric!" she shouted, half startled, half angry.

"Sorry—I didn't mean to butt in, but Cole stormed by me without a word just now and I noticed you both out here having a chat. Thought I'd ask what is going on. When Cassandra's interest in anybody is piqued, it's never in the good old-fashioned eyebrow-raising way."

"Surely you can't believe that Cole becoming more human is in his best interest?" Solas asked Varric, but cast her an curious glance as well.

"If he came over from the Fade to come muck around with us here, he might as well appreciate it for all it's worth. He wants to be someone. Let him be remembered. Let him have a normal existence," Varric argued.

"Rivaini amulets, you said?" she asked, turning to Solas.

"Yes."

"Very well, Messeres: come with me, then. I am going to need your support when I speak to the others," she said, heading back towards the main hall. "Solas, you will have to reassure them that Cole hasn't succumbed to any demonic callings, and Varric…it'll help if we have someone other than two mages vouching for Cole."

"What do you plan on doing?" he asked, as they began to make their way past the scaffolding and an assortment of representatives, couriers, messengers, diplomats, and guards.

"'Place your faith in me as I have placed mine in you,'" she recited, with a grin. Those were the words most widely quoted from her speech the day she was made Inquisitor. "I'll just do what I always do when there are matters concerning those closest to me," she smiled impishly. "I pull rank. I'm calling a meeting around the War Table. I need to buy Cole more time so we can help him sort this out." Evelyn paused, immersed in her thoughts. "We need to deploy agents to locate one of those amulets for Cole…And I have to convince Cullen and Cassandra to proceed with the investigation of a criminal matter without interviewing Cole," she said flatly.

"Well, you'll really just have to convince Cassandra then," Varric insinuated.

Evelyn gave him a disapproving stare.

"I'll have you know that Cullen and I keep our duties and our personal matters separate," she protested.

"Really, Twinkles? You have to work harder to change that, then. Maybe wear your hair differently… Or not beat him so badly at Wicked Grace…" He winked.

She had to suppress a grin at that. They paused before the door leading to the War Room's antechamber and Evelyn turned to one of the guards posted outside.

"Good morning," she addressed her amiably. "Is the Ambassador in already?"

"Good morning, Inquisitor. Yes, she is."

"Excellent." She motioned for Solas and Varric to follow her in. "Cole will get that amulet," she told them with a familiar tone of fiery determination.

"Of that I have no doubt," Solas readily agreed, with veiled amusement.

A/N: The dialogue at the beginning of the chapter is directly from DA Inquisition. I'd also like to say a very sincere *Thank you!* to everyone who has supported this fic. Your kindness and appreciation make writing this a real joy.