Forcing the purest, most idiotic, phony smile I can bare, I dilly-dally aimlessly down the street. When I see a kitten, I drop to all fours and follow it, tramping through gardens and eventually to someone's back porch, earning me a serious whack on the head with a broom. I restrain myself and runaway like my girly-ass brother would, rather than rip the door of its hinges and use it to beat the bastard. I chase butterflies and stare blankly at clouds. My confidence seems to be at an all-time high when I stop to talk some girls, which I probably would have done anyway, idiot body or my own. "I must be a pretty good actor- pretending I'm Feli is fucking easy. There's no way that Nazi will see the difference! I even want to strangle myself; I'm acting so empty headed right now!"
It isn't until I hear a certain someone's obnoxious laughter up ahead that I remember the purpose of my little adventure. Damn, that bastard's so fucking loud; he can get a rock to complain, "AHAHAHAHAHA!" His laughter seems a bit forced, like he's nervous, "Uh, what didn't work..? Iggy."
I try to fight off my curiosity but I can't. "Did the air just turn in to invisible molasses or something...? Fuck. Fine body, fine. I will slow the fuck down and smell some flowers. Anything that delays my visit with the Nazi Asshole is more than welcome to jump out at me." Ranting to silently to myself, I watch the two morons standing across the street. Arthur seems to be looking at Alfred with a paled look of disbelief. He's trying to hide it but the fucker can't. I'd give him lessons except I fucking hate his guts so I'll just laugh to myself instead.
"Ah! N-nothing you git! ...But are you sure you're okay..? You didn't feel different when you woke up this morning?" He peers at Alfred, as if trying to get inside his head.
Alfred steps back, "...D-dude...! Did you try to, um, curse me!? ...Not...not cool." His voice starts to trail off and I start to lose interest. Just two morons fighting about fucking nothing.
I walk a little faster, my heart sinking to my colon when I realize I'm lost. That's right- my colon. So low it passed through my stomach and went to my colon. I stop and look around. I've been wandering to nowhere for hours, trying to get a feel for how Feli would act, so it's dark now and most people have gone home already. It's just me and the morons, who are standing awkwardly a few yards away from where I am. There's no way in fucking hell I'm asking those bastards for help, but the darker it gets, the more lost I seem to be. I end up taking about five more steps before I freeze and start to whimper, Mio Dio, I'm turning into that idiot," I frown, realizing I'm not even trying to anymore; the things I think Feli would do are just coming naturally now. "WWFD. What Would Feliciano Do? ...Or I guess it could be World Wrestling Federation Dammit...Or that other thing with that God damned panda." I joke to myself as I cross over to the morons on shaky legs, swallowing my pride.