A/N 1: I humbly apologize for taking so long with this chapter. In my defense, I've written it four times, and deleted it three. I'm still not crazy about it, but it's better than the previous iterations. If you have a second, please let me know what you think.

A/N 2: The final chapter is already written (see A/N 1), and will be posted this weekend.

Thursday 6:52 pm

The Loft

Beckett very carefully folded and placed the priceless letter down on the table, and then wiped her face with the tissues that Martha had left. She then did her best to wipe her quivering hands, shredding the tissues. She attempted to carefully replace the letter into the envelope, but her hands were shaking so hard it took a couple of tries before Castle's 'last transmission' was safely inserted into the elegant envelope. Once the letter was securely protected in the envelope, she dropped it on the middle of the table, and turned her attention towards the door.

Kate looked up in amazement. She really didn't know what she had expected: perhaps Alexis as the poster child for 'utter devastation'; with her head down, possibly fresh tear tracks on her cheeks, maybe her shoulders pinched and bowed. Instead, she found this vibrant woman, dressed in a crisp pants suit ensemble that was fashion runway worthy, staring back at her in shock. Because of the devastation Kate was experiencing, she half-expected everyone else to be just as miserable, just as much at sea.

Alexis actually gasped aloud upon seeing her. "Oh my God. Kate!" Alexis stepped forward, removing her designer sun glasses. Kate stood, and side stepped the coffee table. As she approached the young woman, her arms spread wide in welcome, Kate tried to remember what she had planned to say to Rick's daughter. All of the words she had thought of this afternoon; the apologies, the heartfelt sympathy, the self-condemnations, were locked in her chest beneath a closed throat. She reached the girl and clutched her in a fierce embrace, swaying slightly to and fro.

A strangled whisper emerged from Kate. "I'm so sorry, Lexi … I'm sorry … sorry … so sorry". The litany seemed to squeeze through her tight throat, an endless benediction of mea culpa's.

As she buried her nose in her ginger hair, Kate was surprised at the intensity of Lexi's hug. It was very tight, but wasn't constricting in the least. Instead, her embrace was supportive, strangely liberating. She seemed to gain strength from those youthful muscles. The hug eased, and each took half a step back, so that both of their hands still grabbed the other's forearms. Alexis gave Kate's a squeeze. "No, Kate, I'm the one that should apologize. You were here, trying to handle everything, and I just freaked on you and then hung up."

"Trust me Alexis, if I could have hung up on myself this morning, I would have."

"Where's Gram? How is she doing?"

"She told me she was going back to the lawyers', then would grab us some take out and be back here around 8. We had a small problem with Black Pawn, but got it straightened out. I think she's playing the role of the strong matriarch right now, but like everybody else, is really hurting."

Kate continued, looking for tells and clues "How are you, Alexis? You must be exhausted. What is it, after midnight on Paris time?

"Yea, but I slept on the plane." Alexis let go of Kate's one arm, and meandered to the couch, dragging Beckett with her other hand still attached to the detective's arm. She plopped down with no warning, pulling Kate down to the cushions with her. She then spun towards Kate, tucking her near leg under her. She looked Kate in the eyes and gave her a tiny smile. "You know, I'm surprisingly good, all things considered. I think I'm partly numb. But really, after the initial shock, I've found it easier to … well, not accept, but come to terms with … than I would have guessed.

You see, Kate, ever since he started following you, I've lived with this possibility. He and I must have discussed it 100 times. He knew there was always a chance of something like this happening, and did his best to prepare me for it. Me and Grams both. One way he described it, if he hadn't met you, he would have either died in a pointless accident, or drunk himself to death, within two years of the last Derrick Storm novel. He was totally directionless, and becoming self-destructive, before you rescued him at that book launch party. So, by his calculation, everything after that was a bonus."

"Wow. That SO sounds like your Dad's logic."

"Hey. Don't knock Dad's logic. It makes sense in his universe." She reached out and grabbed Kate's hands in both of hers. "So, how are YOU?"

Kate nodded her head once, firmly. "Better." She glanced at Rick's letter in the middle of the coffee table, before looking back into her bright blue eyes, so much like Rick's. "I'm getting by."

Alexis followed Kate's look, and spied the envelope. "Oh my God, he wrote you a letter? Longhand?" She paused for a second, staring at it, then ventured in a small voice, "Can I read it?"

Kate's knee jerk reaction was to say a quick 'NO!'. It was much too personal, too revealing. She hesitated, then once more looked at Alexis. Really looked, as if for the first time. An unbidden thought crossed her mind. 'This is our daughter.' Beckett had been in charge of, and cared for, many people in her life; her Dad (especially during the bad years), her junior partners, even Castle. This was the first time in her life she'd felt wholly responsible for another human being. It was a novel feeling, and brought with it a whole new perspective. Actually, a marvelous and stunning new viewpoint.

She nodded sharply once. "I'll make you a deal, Alexis. If you make a copy of the letter for me, you can read it." The young woman gave her a small smile of gratitude, her eyes crinkling. Kate gathered up the used tissues and tissue bits from the table. "I'm going to use the little girl's room."

They both stood, and walked into the office. As Alexis walked over to the copier, Kate amended her request. "Lexi, could you make that two copies, please?" she asked before passing through the bedroom door. The girl called back, "No problem."

They reconvened on the couch a couple of minutes later. Kate felt better, the cool water on her face having restored her. Alexis had turned on an additional reading light, and retrieved a couple of fresh water bottles from the office refrigerator. Kate nodded her thanks, opened one of the water bottles, and took a long drink. Alexis handed Kate the original letter, returned to its envelope, and one of the copies. She retrieved her copy where she'd laid it, and they both started to read.

Kate tried to monitor Alexis' progress, stealing glimpses of the girl, but soon found herself lost once more in Castle's astonishing words. A timeless span later, she realized there were sounds of sniffles and muted sobs emanating from nearby. She turned her head to look at Alexis.

The young woman's copy of the letter was hanging loosely in one hand. Her head was down, tears trailing down both cheeks. Kate grabbed the tissue box, and offered them to the girl, Alexis breathed a thank-you and grabbed three, and wiped her eyes and cheeks. She then grabbed three more, and blew her nose.

She turned to Kate, the mascara trails down her cheeks prominent. She said simply, "What a hack!"

After a stunned moment of silence, Kate erupted. Huge peals of laughter leapt out from deep within her. She threw her head back, her eyes squinting against the sudden tears. God, it was miraculous! This huge outpouring of hilarity was like ripping a soiled bandage from a festering wound, allowing air and light into her very being. She looked over at the girl, and seeing and hearing her matching hysterics, was overcome with a feeling of love for Rick's amazing daughter. Their daughter. She lunged at her, wrapping her in a tight bear hug.

They both continued laughing while they maintained their embrace, for much longer than Kate would have thought possible. Finally, their guffaws tapering, Kate whispered in her ear "You, girl, have the Castle ability to say exactly the right thing at exactly the right time. It's uncanny."

"Well, I don't know if I can match the master. Dad can lift anybody's mood, when they least expect it. He is the best." After a long pause, Alexis corrected herself. "Was."

Kate retorted immediately, forcefully, "NO! IS!" Kate leaned back so they could see each other. She grabbed Alexis hand and placed it, palm down, on Kate's thin shirt right over Kate's heart. Kate's hand remained, covering hers. "Do you feel that, Lexi?"

Alexis nodded.

"The letter was exactly right. That's your Dad's heart you're feeling. As long as you or I have a breath left in our body, your Dad is alive in the world." She smiled. "If you don't believe me, go look in the mirror. I guarantee, you'll see your Dad staring out of those beautiful blue eyes. I do."

Alexis offered a tremulous smile, then turned towards the front door as they heard keys in the lock. It soon swung open to reveal Martha, with her large purse slung over her shoulder, her keys in one hand, and a huge shopping bag of take-out food in the other. Alexis yelled "Grams!" She hopped up and ran to the older woman, wrapping her in her arms. Kate arrived a second later and relieved the older woman of her large food bag, averting disaster.

"Ooh, I've missed you."

"I missed you too!"

Kate walked over to the dining table with the food, and heard Martha behind her exclaim "Alexis Castle! What happened to your face?"

"It's Kate's fault. I was fine before I got here."

Beckett spun around. "I can't believe you just did that! Throwing me under the bus with your grandma? For shame, Missy! "

Martha tsked. "Regardless who's to blame, I think it would be a good idea for you to take your luggage upstairs and clean up. We should eat while the food's hot."

"Yes, ma'am, Gram." Alexis grabbed her bag, still sitting near the door.

Martha added, "Oh, Alexis, while you're …"

Alexis finished for her, in a credible imitation of the diva's sing-song cadence, " … going upstairs anyway, would I take your luggage too". She grabbed the surprisingly small suitcase and went up the steps."

"Where's the rest of your luggage, Martha?" There was no way Martha Rogers was traveling that light.

"Oh, the driver took it upstairs for me. The poor man was so overburdened, I felt guilty not wheeling at least one bag in." She walked towards the table. "Kate, would you mind grabbing some silverware."

"Sure. Do you prefer the counter, or do you want to eat at the table?"

"I think the table would be better for tonight, don't you?" As they began to set the table and take the food out, Martha lowered her voice and asked, "How's Alexis really, Kate?"

Kate nodded. "Pretty good. Actually, much better than expected. She said she was a little numb, but had prepared herself for this possibility. I think she's channeling her inner mom tonight."

"That's a Rogers' family tradition, my dear. We have always found it easier to take care of others than it is to take care of ourselves." She gave Kate a huge diva smile. "That's one of the reasons we get along so well with you, I'm sure."

Martha walked over to the glasses. "Would you like a glass of wine to go with your Thai take out, dear?"

"I don't think so, Martha. I'm pretty much running on fumes."

"While you're over there, would you mind grabbing a bottle for me?"

"Okay." Kate paused in front of the wine cabinet. "Which one did do you want?"

"I believe there's a 2010 Chateauneuf-du-Pape over there somewhere."

Beckett turned and stared at the older woman, who smirked back. Kate rolled her eyes and turned back to the wine array, calling out. "On second thought, I think I will have a small glass. You might want to grab Alexis one too."

"One what?" Alexis called as she reached the foot of the steps.

"A wine glass. Martha has decided to broach a vintage bottle of Chateauneuf-du-Pape."

Alexis grinned. "Well, that didn't take long."

Martha smirked back. "You look much better, dear." Alexis, emulating Kate, was wearing jeans and a comfortable shirt, was barefoot, and had removed her makeup. "Let's eat."

They all took seats, leaving Rick's customary chair vacant. They passed around the food, filling plates, and began to eat. Martha poured the wine. The conversation was light, involving meaningless topics. By unspoken consent, no mention of Richard Castle, the past few days, or the next few days, was discussed.

As they were finishing, Kate asked, "Lexi, when does your Mom get in?"

"Tomorrow afternoon. I agreed to have the car meet her at the airport. She's going to stay at the Marriott in midtown.

Martha upended the bottle, refilling her glass. She asked softly, "So, how long do we have you, Katharine, before you have to revert back to Detective Kate Beckett of the 12th?"

Kate shook her head. "Forever. I'm not going back." At their shocked expressions, she explained "Even if I wanted to, I doubt I could do the job anymore. My heart would no longer be in it, and I would undoubtedly second guess every decision I made." She sighed. "You see, there have been two major … losses … in my life, and both were directly the result of dirty cops. I explained this to Gates last night. She tried to talk me in to moving over to IAD, but once you've been on top of the game in the big leagues, it's hard to consider a lesser role in the minors."

Alexis frowned. "So, what now, Kate? You retire, and putter around the house in your slippers all day?" It was obvious Alexis had a tough time envisioning Beckett with leisure time.

To be honest, so did Kate. She thought back to Rick's letter for probably the twentieth time that night. She smiled. "I don't know, Lexi, but it probably involves going back to school. Need a new roommate?"

"Wow. That'd be great, Kate. Hey, we have a fantastic Russian Lit department. Obviously, our law school is pretty good too."

Kate shrugged. "Maybe selecting a major is a little premature. There are other possibilities as well. Martha, can I ask you a question?"

"Of course dear. Anything."

She looked at Rick's daughter first, then back to Rick's mom. She wore a true smile, her eyes twinkling. She asked, "Would you be okay with being a grandmother again?"

A/N 3: Alexis can be the hardest character to capture in the whole Castle universe.