Lost Smiles

When I woke up, I was lying on the ground, with my hand over my chest. The first thing I realized was the pain, and then what was in my hand. It was the golden bell from the hilt of Life. That woke me up. I shot up, ignoring the pain it caused.

"Life!" I looked around and found Takuro lying next to me in a coil. "You are well, Young One?" I gazed around at my surroundings and found us in a forest. Forest! I got up, but stumbled from my pain. Takuro used his soft tongue to push me back down, onto the pile of leaves, from which I had been sleeping on before. "Hush," he soothed me with his misty voice, "this is a different forest, on the edge of Wave Country. I've been keeping a sharp look-out, and it seems that Orochimaru isn't pursuing you."

I relaxed and let out long aheld breath. "You flew me that far? Thank you. I'm glad I summoned you."

The end of his lips curled up. "I'm just glad to help you. I have always been loyal to the Kichino bloodline."

I smiled faintly as I laid back down. I held the bell up to my face. The wounds from my battle with Sasuke had been healed by this, and now, all its magical properties were probably gone. Now it was just a plain bell. I shook it, but it made no sound. Now it was just a hollow shell of gold. I wonder if it was this that made me feel so. . .empty. I had a feeling that I was missing something very important, like I forgot something. I knitted my eyebrows as I scoured through the remnants of my memories, but didn't pick up anything unusual, except for one question that kept coming up.

"Takuro, why do I love Mother this much?"

He looked at me, nearly startled. "You should know the answer to that question. Have you forgotten?"

"I don't know. When I try to remember my childhood with her, all I can remember is her screaming, yelling, hitting. She abused me and hated me so much. So why have I been searching for her these past few years?"

Takuro stared at me quietly, his eyes watering. If you've ever seen a dragon cry, then you know that it is something that wrenches your heart.

It was beginning to scare me. "Takuro? The Twin Dragon Swords took something from my memory, didn't they? What did I forget? Takuro, tell me! What did I forget?"

"You're mother's one and only smile. The only one she ever showed you. The only one she ever showed anyone."

Water streamed down his emarald scales. Takuro's emotions were so powerful that they affected the Earth's weather, which is why he is also known as the Weather Dragon. It had begun to rain as I lay there, staring into the void. The news didn't affect me that much, because I couldn't even remember how lovely her smile was. How much I cherished it. The Twin Dragon Swords had stolen not just my memories, but my will. I had loved my mother so much, that it had kept me from entering the Otherworld. Now, I didn't know what to do with my life. As I looked through the remains of my past, all I saw was darkness and sorrow. How could I smile now? How could I continue with life, now that I have no purpose? My mother is dead-or soon would be-and nothing bound me to the living. I felt hollow. I turned to my side and stared off into oblivion.

I was bed ridden for two days because the golden bell hadn't fully healed my wound. Takuro stayed at my side the entire time. I was grateful to him, but regretted everything I had ever done. My life seemed so pointless. Even all the days I spent with Hinako, Jin, Mr. Kyo, and even Gaara. I cried without really crying. I wouldn't be sad, but tears would still fall from my face.

Why? Why does my body mourn for which my soul has lost? Now what should I do? If I die, will anyone be affected? Will anyone mourn my death? Will anyone feel as lifeless as I do now?

I rolled over to gaze at Takuro, who was searching the distance like a sentinal. Even this green creature that portects me. . .if I were to die, would he just go on with his life? Go and be summoned by some other ninja? My death won't affect anyone. Not even Orochimaru anymore. He has what he wants.

I put a kunai to my throat and shakily tried to draw it closer. Yet why does my hand still shake? Why do I hesitate? Why stay here?

"I..." Takuro turned around as I drew in sharp breaths from my crying. "I don't want to die! I want to be surrounded by freinds and play and goof off! I don't want to be bound to the Moon Dragon anymore! I want to be normal. I want to not have to cry everytime I dream about my mom. I don't want to have this scar on my back anymore! I-I want to live! Am I so shameless as to still cling to life after all the horrible things I've done! I'm no different than my mother!"

Takuro cradled me with his tail. "No. You're are nothing like your mother. Your mother never cried as you have done now. Your mother had been gone for years. All that's left of her know is her lifeless body. But you. . .you are still alive, young child, you still have many years ahead of you. It is not shameless to want to live. In fact, you would be a coward to try and run away from everything. Death doesn't solve everything. If you really believe that, then you are no differen't than Orochimaru."

He sat me up with his tail, and wiped away my tears with the tip of it. "Even though you are crying, you are bravely struggling through life. This is how it is for the juunchiriki. But these hardships just make you even stronger. Sarafu. . ." He lifted my chin. ". . .you have reason to live. You must live the life of a child before you die. You must experience life. You have not had a proper life yet. And I won't allow you to throw away that chance."

I was still, thinking. "Takuro. Take me to the old Outpost Village. There's something I want to see."

Takuro didn't inquire any further. He obliged my request and flew me up to the Outpost Village in Mt. Hokkaido. It took all night, and we arrived in the morning. As the sun rose over the peak, I walked on the bare ground, and looked around at the burnt remnants of my previous village. Of course, it was only a branch from our main village, which connected us to the Earth. But I was barely ever allowed to the main village, less my dragon blood destroy it. Still, to me, this place was my home, if you could call it that. I walked down the street and looked from side to side at the memories of my childhood. Strangely, I wasn't saddened at all by this, just a little anxious. When I arrived where the old bakery used to be, I found something very out of place. It was a tiny plant, sprouting from the ashes. It stood there, lone and bright green.

I guess I should be like this plant. Grow, thrive, from the remains of my dark past. To lean towards the light.

I looked up at the sun and smiled. Takuro looked over at me. "Did you find what you needed?"

"Yes, now let's go home."

He nodded as I mounted his back and flew into the vast sky. "Sarafu, you're hair. . .its still long, are you not going to cut it?"

"No. I'll keep it like this, as a sign of my spiritual rebirth, after all, the old Sarafu is gone now."

...to be continued.

A/N: Thought Sarafu was going emo for a second there, didn't ya? Too bad. She's too cool for emo-ness.