Okay, bare with me… this is the first comedic fic I've ever made, so its probably not that funny. I came up with this fic one day when "Angel is the Centerfold" came onto the radio… This chapter is full of crappy jokes. (I'm so modest… that's what makes me SOOOOOOOOOOOOO cool)

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any Sonic character or any character of Sonic Team. I also do not own Ripley's Believe it or Not, or Jugs magazine, if its real. Plus I don't own Herpes… but I don't think that was necessary… The characters in this story belong to Yuji Naka. Whom I don't own.

CHAPTER 2:

Amy is the Centerfold

"Amy Rose, you have been diagnosed with Herpes." The doctor said.

"WHAAAAAAT!" Sonic screamed. He looked like he was going to punch the doctor. "I know damn well that Amy has never had sex before! She saved it for me!"

"Uh… yeah… about that. I haven't really been quite accurate about my love life…" Amy started but Sonic cut her off.

"Oh my god! You're a slut! I'm engaged to a slut!" Sonic was now going off the deep end.

"Wow… Herpes… Why are you guys mad? I mean… Herpes… I didn't even know that hedgehogs could get Herpes… That's surprising. I mean, you should be happy! In fact… I think I'm gonna call Ripley's…" The doctor said.

"Uh. Are you a real doctor? Besides, why are you making a big deal out of the STD? we're talking hedgehogs!" Amy pointed out.

"You guys can talk?"

"Sonic! Don't leave me!" Amy begged.

"I'm not going to leave you.. I just need time to think! I'm going to Knuckles' pad to crash for a while!" Sonic said heading for the car.

Sonic drove down the driveway of Knuckles' house. (Don't ask how he got the car on Angel Island) He grabbed his bags out of the trunk, and headed up the steps to Knuckles' door. Sonic knocked.

"Oh hey Sonic" Knuckles said, as he opened the door.

"Thanks for letting me stay here. I really appreciate it."

"No prob… Hey! I know what you need! My legendary stack of porn!" Knuckles said smiling.

"Uh… pass… That's creepy dude…" Sonic answered.

"No I insist!" He said shoving the box in Sonic's face.

"Fine…" Sonic opened the box and started searching through the magazines. He found a Jugs magazine and stared at the half naked girl on the cover. She was a pink hedgehog. Whith a bow in her hair. Sonic found her quite attractive. The date on the magazine said : October 1993. That's a few months after I met Amy. I think she was trying to…be…a…model……… then… Sonic froze in horror the headline on the page said: Meet Amy Rose! A girl can't get any easier than this!

"Oh yeah! That's the one with Amy. That's a gooooooooood issue!" Knuckles stated.

"Holy mother fuc-"

The next nine pages have been edited for extreme sexual suggestions, extremely heavy language, and time.

"Banana Hammock!" Sonic finished, out of breath.

"I sowy Sonic. I should've told you…" Amy said, in a cute little girls voice.

"You think!" Sonic screamed.

"Well… I was a young girl who needed money…"

"YOU WERE THIRTEEN!"

"Well, in hedgehog years… that's like… ninety one…" Amy corrected.

"No, you multiplied thirteen by seven, that's dog years, not hedgehog, I think hedgehog is…" Sonic started.

"Really, I always thought that it was seven times the age."

"Well… let me explain, hedgehogs live a couple years so… Hold it! Don't trick me like that! Yuji Naka intended our ages to run like humans! So quote me… YOU WERE THIRTEEN!"

"Well…"

"Anything else you wanna tell me!"

"Well no…"

"Where have you been bitch?" A voice boomed on the other side of the door. The person kicked it down. Vector was on the other side.

"Oh no… he found me…"

"Found you? What do you mean?"

"You haven't told this poor sap yet? Ha! Go ahead Amy." Vector smiled.

"Amy?" Sonic asked.

"Well… Vector is my… my…"

"Boyfriend?"

"No."

"Ex-boyfriend?"

"Worse…"

"Oh please tell me you didn't sleep with him!" Sonic screamed.

"Worse you moron. I just love this, it's hilarious." Vector said chuckling.

"Well… Vector's my… my…"

"ALRIGHT JUST SPIT IT OUT!" Sonic yelled.

"My… pimp" Amy finished.

Poor Sonic, all this bad stuff happening to him at once. I think my next fic will be a gory slasher Sonic fic… cause this fic kinda makes me feel sick to my stomach… By the way. The last fic I made Vector an ass. And I killed him off. This one he's a pimp. Just so you know I have nothin against Vector. I actually really like him.

NEXT CHAPTER: Amy's Day Job