Sorry about how long it took me to post those last two chapters. I've been busy with school. Here is what has been going on: I signed up for advanced comm., I enter it my first day of school… AND IT'S FULL OF MERIT ROLE STUDENTS! I'm like, the only person in that class that's ever gotten a C. Last Wednesday (Smart) People were called down to take the PSAT. There was only four people left in the class room (Including me, but I was eligible to take it, I'm just lazy and an under achiever, which is surprising that I've finished a fic before) I've worked my ass off to beat Earthbound, And I finally did it. Earthbound was one of the reasons why I haven't written in a while. My social life somehow got worse when I went back to school, sad huh?

Okay you're probably board with my rambling so I'll write… While listening to my new Killers CD! Yipee!! I love this band!! Whoa… Is this what my life has come to? Where did I go wrong? Maybe I should'a joined football… Well enjoy… Beeoch

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any Sonic character or any character of Sonic Team. What? Are you expecting a stupid joke from me in the disclaimer? Go make YOUR own stupid joke on YOUR own disclaimer! Dick.

CHAPTER SIX:

Fuzzy Pickles… "Oh wait… Who gave me the wrong Script?!

The REAL title is… Ahem…." RING… RING… "Sorry gotta take this… What?

Holy crap! I won! I won 1,000,000 $! Screw this gig!" The Narrator ran out of the studio and drove away…

Sonic winced as the guard pushed him into his new, shiny, cell. His cell mate was an ape with a red tie. Sonic looked up at him and smiled awkwardly. "Uh… Hey… who are you?"

"Name's Donkey Kong. But my peeps call me DK, yo. I'm in here for kidnapping dis girl Pauline. It's not my fault, yo! It's da ape instincts! Nintendo shouldn't have made me an ape! Hey… uh… nice butt…" DK said.

"What?! Uh… wait… why are you taking off your belt? Whoa! Don't put that there!"

A few days later at the visiting area.

"Don't worry, the Trial is in a week, I'll win it for you and we can go back to our normal lives." Tales assured Sonic.

"That's not soon enough! You don't know what it's like in here! I'm being passed around like currency! How am I gonna tell my kids I lost my virginity to an ape! Not to mention I'm going to have a kid who got his license to practice law off the internet."

"Hey! It's a valid license! Don't get pissy with me!"

The Trial

"Your honor, I call Stacheton Butcher to the stand!" Tails declared. "Now Stacheton, You saw Miss Rose drive her SUV into that gas tanker correct?"

"Correct," Replied Stacheton. "I saw Amy drive off and run into the tanker that Sonic had pulled out in front of her just a minute before!"

"Dude! You're on the defense's side!"

"I swore to tell the truth, not lies!"

"Okay, if Sonic drove that tanker out, how did he not get killed?"

"Well he does have super speed!" Stacheton replied.

"Is that all?" The judge asked.

"Yes your honor…"

"We're getting trampled here! Do something!" Sonic whispered to tails.

"Like what?!"

"I don't know, flip the other attorney off."

"No! Hey were is the other attorney?!"

"Right here!" A voice echoed across the room. A green bird jumped out of the defense seats. "Now I know all your secrets Muhahahaha!" The bird was in fact, Bean.

"Oh god… Not Bean… Permission to shoot Bean?" Tails asked.

"Hm… permission granted." The judge answered. Tails stood up and shot Bean in the leg.

"Oh god! Why would you do that. That was just…was just mean. Jeeze… And in the knee too… Oh god… that's gotta be the worst part to get shot… oh god… oh god…" Bean whimpered."

"Alright, bring in the other lawyer." The judge said.

"You mean me?" Vector said, standing up. "I call, Knuckles the Echidna to the stand."

"I object! He's our witness!"

"Denied, I'll allow this."

"Now Knuckles, Sonic has been your friend since?…" Vector asked.

"Well… since… around 1994, 95... Ish…" Knuckles replied.

"Hm… yes… impressive…eleven years, now, is it true you've had to fight him multiple times?"

"Well every time I was tricked by Eggman…"

"You had a cat named Gary when you were nine?"

"Yeah but he died a long time ago…"

"I see… are you aware how he died?"

"Well he dissapear…"

"Sonic ate him…"

"What!?" Knuckles cried.

"Sonic ate him."

"You ate Gary!? You bastard!"

"What! I didn't eat your stupid cat! Besides, I only eat plants and ants!" Sonic exclaimed.

"Don't call Gary the wonder cat stupid!" Knuckles cried

"Order! Order!" The judge declared.

"Now Knuckles, is it true sonic set you on fire?" Vector asked.

"I never saw…"

"Think about Gary, try to remember what happened that night."

"Yeah! You know what? He did set me on fire!"

"Knuckles you idiot." Sonic whispered to himself.

"I rest my case."

"Your honor, I call Sonic the Hedgehog to the stand!" Tails announced.

"Now Sonic, What happened that night?" Tails asked.

"Well Amy was just Screwed on film and…"

"Oh my god! You were filming each other doing it, you're a sicko!" Vector exclaimed.

"I thought you'd use that against us, Screwed is a very popular TV show. And to further my proof that it was the show he was talking about, I have this on tape." Tails pulled out a tape recorder and turned it on.

"How am I gonna tell my kids I lost my virginity to an ape!"

"I see, so, it was the show that you were talking about, but this proves something else. Sonic… Is gay!" Vector accused, the jury gasped.

Sonic looked around and noticed that everyone in the jury had patriotic shirts on. "Hey! No fair! Everyone in the jury are conservative extremists!"

"That's right! Hand picked by me." Vector said.

"I have nothing left to say." Tails said, noticing he'd only dug Sonic into a deeper hole.

"Alright Sonic. Is it true you are a fatty fatty doo doo face?" Vector accused.

"What?" Sonic asked.

"I object! He's badgering the witness!" Tails objected.

"I allow it, I think it leads somewhere… doo doo face." The judge declined.

"Well you're a smelly smelly pea pea head." Sonic responded.

"Dick." Vector responded.

"Sadist" Sonic responded.

"Masochist!" Vector yelled

"Sadomasochist!" Sonic Screamed.

"Oooooooooooh." The Jury Ooooh'd

"Has the jury reached the verdict?"

"On the charge of first degree manslaughter. We find Sonic the Hedgehog guilty."

"Sonic the Hedgehog shall be put to death." The judge said.

"What!?" Sonic screamed! "How will I be executed?"

"By rapid succession of Sodomy."

"What?! I didn't even know that was a way to be executed!"

"Well, it's not. But it only seems humane since you're gay…"

"For the last time! I'm not gay!" Sonic screamed.

"Guards, escort him back to his cell." The judge ordered.

"Wait! I'd like to say something. I would never kill Amy. I-I-I loved her. Even when I found out she was cheating on me… I still wanted her in my arms. Now that she's dead… I can never feel that joy again! I guess it's best that I died, whats the point of life without my Amy?" Sonic sobbed. Tears ran down his cheeks.

"Stop!" Every one looked up as Eggman barged through the door. "I vowed that I would kill Sonic! Not the corrupt government of America! If you kill him, I'll blow myself up!"

"Uh… actually…." The judge started but was cut off.

"I knew you'd kill him! Then say good bye to me!" Eggman suddenly blew up sending entrails all over the court room.

"Uh… It was… just a prank…" The judge finished.

"What?!" Sonic cried looking up.

"Oh Sonic! You do love me!" A familiar voice rang in Sonic's ears.

Amy ran into the courtroom smiling.

"What the hell?!" Sonic screamed.

"For the past few weeks, we've been on a screwed special." Amy exclaimed. "Funny, huh?"

Sonic was confused. So confused he ran out of the court room and drove off. Not looking, he wrecked into a tanker.

"No!" Amy cried.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Sonic laughed walking up to Amy "Got you good! I knew about the trick the whole time! Just wanted to get the last laugh!"

"Oh Sonic! I'll never trick you again! I really wanted to test your love for me."

"So… you don't have herpes, you're not a model, hooker, or porno star?"

"Of coarse not! You haven't been sodomized, have you?"

"Nope!" Sonic replied.

"Good."

"Lets go have sex."

"Okay."

Hours later in the court room

"Why hasn't anyone called for help yet?!" Bean screamed.

Well that's it… this took me hours to write. I must have listened to the Killers' CD repeat itself like 12 times. Holy crap! It's 4:54 A.M.! Well the fic is finished, except for the special chapter coming up next. Here's a look at my fic future. I think I'll add on some special chapters to Dead End Mystery, my last fic, just to bump it up, and restore it to glory. I'm still writing Paper Luigi. A completely original fic. Trust me I checked, No one else has done the idea. Check it out. I'm also about to start on a sequel to the Dead End Mystery, The Dead End Crisis. Check them all out, or I'll eat your soul! PLEASE REVIEW!

NEXT CHAPTER: Final Rush: Shadow's Story