The Gift of Resilience - Re-Vamped

by KNeu21

(RV2)S to 'TGoMisfortune'-Set during NM:RE-VAMPED VERSION! After waking up from a vision to find herself not only back to where she started, Leandra learns how to begin rebuilding the relationships she couldn't live without, and struggling to recall the details. While trying to avoid becoming the monster she fears she is destined to become. COMPLETE!

5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Mr. Kline noticed that I had my book closed, and when I didn't move to reopen it, he came back over.

"You're supposed to be reading." He laughed a little, and I opened my book again. Turning to the page of answered questions. Pointing to them with a quiet 'tap'. He leaned down, frowning a little as he looked it over. Slowly lifting it to himself. He looked to me, "Well, that's never happened before. Okay, then. Uhm.." He set the book back down in front of me, "I guess you're fine. Just sit quietly."

I think he added that last part in as a way to lighten his surprise. I hadn't said a word since I got here, and I wasn't about to start now just to point that out to him. I nodded anyway, sighing. He walked away again, and I leaned forward, folding my arms on the top of the desk and resting my chin on them.

I wanted to go home.

"Hey." I ignored the whisper of the girl behind me, "Hey, kid. New kid." My eyes narrowed, but I ignored it even more, "Pssst. Hey. Kid. No, not you." She must have gotten someone else's attention, "What's the answer to number five?" I rolled my eyes, "Come on. I forgot your name."

After several more seconds, I felt the unmistakable sensation of being lightly poked in the back with a pencil eraser.

I spun, yanking the pencil from the girl's hand, "My name's Leandra." My voice was a heated whisper, "And do your own damn work. If you touch me again, I'll stab this pencil into your fucking eye." I threw her pencil back at her, which she caught awkwardly.

She immediately looked down with a quiet gasp. As did the other students around us. Except for another girl sitting beside me in the row to my left. She snorted, giggling hysterically under her breath. I turned back around, leaning back down into the same position I had been.

Glancing to the still laughing girl, she glanced over as well. Her jet black, raven colored hair was nearly as long as mine. The bits of hair that were too short to stay in her loose ponytail fell into her light, steel gray eyes. She seemed genuinely entertained by what I'd said, instead of scared like everybody else.

"Shut her right up, didn't you?" She whispered.

"Shut up." The girl behind me whispered at her.

I looked forward again, shaking my head a little.

Slowly, out of the corner of my eye, I watched the gray-eyed girl lean over. Softly poking my arm with her pencil eraser. I flinched, reaching over and swiping at her pencil. She just giggled again as she flinched away, managing to keep her pencil. I tried giving her a soul-withering glare, but she didn't seem phased.

"Scary." She giggled in a whisper, "I wanted to see if you'd do it." However, this time the sudden movement had taken Mr. Kline's attention.

"Settle down, you two." He called to us, "Recess isn't for another ten minutes." I sighed heavily, biting my tongue as I leaned forward again. This time, leaning to the side as well, away from the annoying, gray-eyed girl.

"Your name's Leandra?" She asked me, still in a hushed tone. I didn't answer. I was too bitter, too mad to think about anything other than the idea that she only wanted to torture me.

She left me alone, though. Now and then glancing to me, but she didn't try anything again. I couldn't help glancing at her, though. I'd never seen eyes the color she had before. They were pretty in a really creepy sort of way. Then again, I was sure she thought mine were creepy too.

This girl just seemed weird to me. Maybe weird wasn't the word, but more like interesting. I'd never admit that, though. I just rested my chin on my arms, looking forward again at the clock on the wall.

I knew when that ten minutes was nearly up, because the class was already getting ready to go. Instead of the silence through the room before, the kids around me were talking, and getting edgy. I wondered strongly if Mr. Kline would let me stay here.

The class jumped up as soon as the bell sounded, and a few were out the door before I even lifted my head. In the doorway, the gray-eyed girl accidentally tripped a boy on her way out, and he hit the floor. Both of them laughed, though, as she helped him up.

I didn't want to be a part of that mob of animals.

"Leandra, it's time to go outside." Mr. Kline told me, and I closed my eyes, "Come on. It's time for some fresh air. I promise you won't float away." Instead of protesting, and actually talking to him, I just stood up and followed him from the room. Apparently, he had to be outside too. Probably to make sure nobody died.

I followed him from the building, out to the edge of the playground. Where he stood with the other teachers was too close for my taste, so I sat down on the grass much further back, watching what looked like several other classes run around and play. Probably the fifth, fourth and third grades, as they couldn't give every grade their own recess.

I wanted to go home.

Looking around, across the field, I could see that this school was fenced in. Exactly like a prison, without the barbed-wire or guns. I could probably climb that fence if I had to. I just had no idea where I would go after that. I could always just wander and hope someone found me, but that didn't sound like too much fun. Oddly enough, less fun than staying here.

Maybe I could hop the fence, and jump out in front of a car. I'd get sent to the hospital for sure. Yeah, Carlisle would be pissed, but that seemed like a pretty effective way to get out of coming back here. I winced at the thought, though. Getting myself hit by a car didn't sound very fun, either. Was there a way to possibly fake it instead? I smirked to myself, thinking about that. I wondered if every kid here had ever considered faking getting hit by a car.

"Leandra?" Damn. I'd been spotted. Mr. Kline came over, crouching beside me, "Why don't you go play?" I suddenly found the very large advantage of answering him with a shrug, so he took another approach, "Alyssa is sitting right over there." I followed his gaze, finding the gray-eyed girl. Sitting off to the side, just like I did, but with her, was a boy. He had the same wavy black hair she had, only cut a lot shorter, so I assumed that was her brother. Mr. Kline looked to me again, "Why not go sit with her?"

She smiled at me, noticing me looking. I looked down immediately, sighing. I rested my arms on my folded knees, idly ripping at the grass with my fingers. Glancing back up just to see both of them looking at me now. Her brother beside her gave me the same look I gave them, which threw me off for a second. He seemed meaner than she did, but not by too much.

I shrugged again. Why wasn't he bugging her? Why'd he have to focus on me?

"Okay." He murmured, "Just give it some thought." I didn't even bother to shrug this time as he stood back up. Walking away.

I had to think back, though. This reminded me a lot of one memory in particular, and that was first grade. I hadn't been very interested in playing then, either, and I had to deflect the teacher's attention. Just like this, but I had to try harder back then. I was even sitting in the same position as I was back then.

Realizing that, I moved. Unfolding my legs, and stretching them out in front of me. This situation was nothing like that situation, but I couldn't help comparing them, and that bothered me. A lot. I didn't want to be here. Why was it so bad to want to stay home? I just wanted to stay.

I fought the familiar eye-stinging of renewing tears. Thankfully, it disguised itself in a yawn, so that was a plus. I didn't want to cry here. With nobody with me. That was the worst thing I could have done.

Thankfully, neither the gray-eyed girl named Alyssa or her brother bothered me. I made it through the entire half-hour of recess without having to talk to anyone. I wondered how long my luck would hold out as I sat back down at my desk inside, but I couldn't ignore the slight headache I was starting to develop.

Next, it was two hours of listening to Mr. Kline talk about stupid math, then it was lunch time. Unfortunately, I was a little hungry, so I had to somehow force myself through the stampede. I waited until the line and group at the front of the cafeteria had thinned, until bothering to move forward.

I sat with my tray at the emptiest table I could find, keeping my eyes to the table.

I jumped at the seat beside me being occupied suddenly. Looking over at Alyssa. What the hell was her problem? Why couldn't she just leave me alone? Everyone else seemed to get the message.

"Stab anybody yet?" She asked cheerfully. I just looked at her, shook my head a little and stood up. Walking away from her, and my tray of food. She laughed, "Come back. I'm leaving, I'm leaving." I stopped, looking back and watching as she stood up, "See you later."

I waited, giving her a pointed look as she hesitated. She just laughed again, shook her head and left. I sighed, returning to the table. She'd left something behind, though. On the edge of my lunch tray, she'd set a mini chocolate bar. I was surprised to find that. She'd just give that to me? I looked around for her, but couldn't see her in the sea of urchins.

For the oddest reasons, I suddenly felt bad for being mean to her. Though she hardly seemed to mind. She found it funny instead of discouraging.

I'd actually forgotten how gross school food was. How the hell had I ever gotten used to eating this crap? Having had nothing but Esme's food for so long, this watered down slop was downright abuse.

Picking up the dinner roll given with this particular lunch, I dropped it and it bounced before rolling away. I decided at that point I'd just eat something when I got home.

The chocolate bar made up for that, though. It was just one, and just small enough not to make me sick.

She didn't bother me the rest of the day, though she sat beside me in class. Now and then glancing at me, she didn't say a word. I never spoke either. Not to anyone, so it wasn't just her. Not since threatening the girl sitting behind me. I didn't have to.

Mr. Kline tried getting me to answer some questions, trying to involve me in whatever discussions the class was having, but he only got silence. A few kids in my general area tried to whisper me the answer to whatever question he asked me, but I didn't need their help.

This was how serial killers were made, I thought bitterly to myself.

The closer it got to the end of the school day, the edgier I got, and once the last bell finally did ring, I grabbed all my papers and stuff, jumping up eagerly. Knocking the girl attempting to stand up in the desk ahead of me back into her seat on my way by.

"Leandra." Mr. Kline called my attention before I could leave, "Hang back a minute." I sighed heavily, spinning. Right when I thought I was free, he suddenly remembered something he needed to tell me. Fucker.

I stepped over to his desk, waiting impatiently for him to say something

"I want to give you a homework assignment."

I found that unfair. He hadn't assigned anyone else homework. I gave him a look, and he laughed.

"It's not hard." He assured me, standing up, "I do this for all of the new students that come into my class. I want you to write me an essay, and I want it to be about your life. What your life was like before you came here. It can be as long as you want it to be. Three words, or three pages. You can even make everything up. Say.. You lived on the moon, and owned a pet dinosaur or something. It's up to you. Nobody else is going to see it but me, so don't worry about that." He paused, "I just like to get to know my students." He smiled a little.

I sighed, but nodded. That would be harder than he thought it'd be.

"Okay." He smiled, "Go ahead. I'll see you tomorrow, Leandra." With that, I turned. Jogging from the room with more energy than I'd shown the entire day. My shoes squeaked on the floor each time I had to stop behind students walking slower than me.

Just my luck, a group of girls stopped right in the doorway to talk to another group of girls.

Move! I don't think I'd ever shouted so loud inside my head as I did in that moment. They had to be able to feel my desperation, but apparently not. Either not, or they just didn't care. Steeling myself, I barreled through the group. Knocking at least three of them over.

I continued on, ignoring their squeals of surprise and probably pain from hitting the concrete steps.

To my surprise, it was Carlisle there to pick me up. I spotted his car parked in the shade across the street from the front of the school, and he stood outside of it. Underneath some trees, he didn't need to worry about the sunlight hitting him, as the deep shade stretched far beyond his car and the street. It was still risky, though, so I ran across the street as fast as I could. Not even looking to make sure I wouldn't get run over.

Though the day hadn't been as bad as I thought it'd be, I was still in tears as I hugged him once he kneeled down. I was so sure I was going to stay mad at him the entire day, but I was too relieved to see him right then to be mad at him. That bugged me, but I didn't focus on that.

"I'm proud of you." He told me immediately, "Good job, Leandra."

He probably took the fact that he hadn't needed to be called during the day as a sign that it went well. He wasn't wrong, but I was still exhausted from being cornered all day long by people I didn't know. I hated it.

I knew the other kids could see me, but I didn't care. I couldn't stop sobbing as he lifted me and held me for a moment.

He stepped around the car to the passenger side, and let me down on my feet. Opening the door for me. I scrambled in easily, nearly running into the door when it wasn't opened fast enough and throwing my bag into the back seat with fury.

Left over defensive anger.

He closed the door behind me as I sat forward in the seat, continuing to cry, too stressed to do much of anything else. I still found myself reluctant to speak, though. Having gone the entire day without saying much of anything, it was hard to break that habit now. Even when we got home.

"Good job, sweetheart." Esme told me as I hugged her in the front doorway, "How did it go?" To me, it was horrible. I hated it so much.

"Don't make me go back." I plead through my tears, "Please."

"Oh, honey." She replied, sighing, "But you did so well."

"No." I corrected, "I didn't do well at all. Just because I didn't kill anyone doesn't mean I did anything good. I just want to stay here."

"I know." She said, "But it's a slow process. You'll learn that you have nothing to worry about. You just have to give it time. You'll get used to it again."

I whined, but didn't bother arguing again. Not yet.

"So tell me about it." She prompted as we went inside, "What happened to make it so bad?" Emmett stood up and leaned against the arm of the couch, interested, and even Rosalie was listening. Alice had descended the stairs, standing on the bottom step, Jasper behind her. I sniffled, looking to them. The others didn't attend school here like they did before, I'd noticed, so they were all here unfortunately.

"Really, honey." Esme smiled, "What was so bad?"

I bit my lip a little, "I finished my work early?" I guessed, "So some stupid kid tried to get me to tell her the answers."

"That's horrible." Emmett gasped sarcastically.

"So I told her to do her own work, and threatened to stab her in the eye with her pencil." I continued, causing a simultaneous face-palm from both Alice and Emmett. Complete with quiet slapping sound, "She left me alone after that, but the girl sitting next to me didn't. She just kept bugging me."

"Was she mean to you?" Alice asked, frowning.

"No." I said, "It was like she wasn't scared of me. She thought it was funny."

"Well, that's not so bad." Emmett said, "You didn't hit her, did you?"

"No." I said again, "But I would have if she kept bugging me."

"Was anybody mean to you?" Alice asked, probably remembering the problems I had with Rachel.

"No." I mumbled, sitting down on the far end of the couch, "I think they're all scared of me."

"That'll change." Alice assured me, smiling a little, "I think you'll do fine."

"I don't like it." I murmured, resting my chin in my palm.

"Maybe something went wrong during this time in the vision?" Jasper suggested, and I looked to him.

"I was left behind in the vision." I replied, "Before. You left me like you left Bella." So I guess that could have been it.

"Do you remember why yet, honey?" Esme asked, considering I was unsure before, and I sighed. Sitting silently, I searched my jumbled thoughts. It always left me disoriented when the answer I needed, the same answer that had been confusing before, was suddenly clear again.

"You had to." I finally answered, "I wasn't living with you when you left." At their slight confusion, I went on, "I was living with my mom again. She got me back. Last time, she never left, and last time, she'd just gotten custody back by the time you had to leave. I was stuck."

"I thought you weren't supposed to look?" Emmett asked, frowning.

"I don't look." I answered, explaining, "I do my best to just leave it alone, but sometimes, it just comes through anyway. Like I suddenly just know it. I think sleeping helps that, but it hurts just as much."

"That sounds exhausting." Jasper pointed out, frowning.

"It is." I mumbled, "It's sort of like.." I paused, frowning as well as Emmett sat back down beside me, "Like having two minds. One has everything to do with before, trying all the time to remember. Or to figure out exactly what it is I'm always remembering, and the other deals with everything now. I can't stop it."

"That certainly explains why you seem to get overwhelmed easily." Jasper muttered, and I looked down. They had to know where this was going. My mood dropped.

"Making me go to school isn't helping." I murmured, "Why can't I stay here?"

I was back to the blame. Blaming and begging.

I wouldn't let this drop. I'd keep fighting them on it. Just because today went alright didn't mean I was safe. It didn't mean the other kids were safe either. I knew after enough time there, I'd snap. It's what always happened. Emmett sighed heavily, trying to hug me into his side. I ducked away from it.

"Shorty-"

"I don't know why I have to be punished for no reason." I blurted without even thinking, "What did I ever do to you?"

"This isn't a punishment, Leandra." Carlisle answered, "We're not fighting this harder than we are, because I know it'll be good for you in the long run. I know it." So they could have been fighting it harder? And they weren't?

"It's not." I argued, shaking my head, "It's not good for me. It's bad. It's really bad."

"Leandra, please don't start this again right now." Esme was only asking, pleading, but I wasn't going to give up quietly. We'd go round and round until I made them understand.

"It's not good for me." I repeated, upset once more as I looked to Carlisle, "Can't you just beat me and get it over with?" I ignored their surprise, "I don't know what I did, but whatever it was, I'm sorry."

"You've got it all wrong, shorty." Emmett seemed to be the only one able to speak, "I don't know-"

I stomped my foot, "Emmett-"

"You're comparing the two?" Rosalie spoke up, shutting me up immediately, "You're honestly going to tell me that having you attend school is comparable to being beaten?" Her tone made me rethink my own tone, and made me feel insecure at the same time. Insecure and defensive.

"To me." I mumbled, watching as she stepped forward, "I just want to stay here. I don't like-"

"We all have to do things we don't like to do." She snapped, "Get used to it, because that's going to happen your entire life." I looked down, shaking my head. She wasn't getting it.

"Now, Carlisle is making you go to school, for two reasons. One, they don't have a choice. No matter how big of a fit you throw, that's not going to change." She paused, and I stayed quiet.

"Two," She continued, "It's to teach you that the world is bigger than just us, or the few people that want to hurt you. Your mind is way too closed right now, and he's only trying to open it." I'd heard enough. I'd try again later.

I sighed and turned, walking away.

"Oh, no." She was suddenly in front of me, "You're not going anywhere until you apologize for acting like such a spoiled little brat."

"Sor-ry." I snapped up at her, and her eyes narrowed.

I didn't even recognize myself in that moment, but this was intentional. I wanted to speak to her like this, and I wanted to piss her off. Maybe I was wanting to get hit. If they finally snapped and hit me, I would recognize myself a little more. That was incredibly stupid of me to do, but it was the only explanation I had.

"Not to me." She corrected, deciding to let that go, "To Carlisle, and to Esme, because considering all they've done for you, I think they deserve to be treated better than the way you've treated them the last few weeks." I looked to Esme and Carlisle standing a few feet away. Across the room from us, "And you'd better mean it."

I took a breath, sighing it out. I did feel bad for talking to them the way I did, and I needed them to know it.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, looking down briefly. Carlisle looked down as well, and Esme offered a sad smile.

"That's better." Rose snapped, and I looked back up at her, "You'll be going back to school. End of discussion." There went my apologetic emotion.

"Watch me." I snapped in reply.

"Babe." Emmett spoke up. Trying to calm her temper, probably. He should have tried to calm mine too, because the tone of her voice was one none of them had used against me before. I should have expected this, but I didn't appreciate it. Crossing my arms tightly, tensely over my stomach. It helped very slightly.

"I won't go again." I grumbled.

"You will go," She continued, and I pulled in a breath. Whatever calm I'd found was long gone, "And you'll like it. Or-"

"Fuck you." I snapped up at her, "You can just go fuck yourself, Rosalie, and you'll like that. Maybe you'll stop being such a fucking bitch."

Shoving passed her roughly, I ignored her outraged expression behind me, and climbed the stairs. I really didn't want to hear the rest of what she had to say.

"Leandra." Esme tried to correct me and call me back at the same time.

"Whoa." Emmett suddenly caught up to me on the stairs, grabbing my arm briefly and nearly yanking me to a stop. I grunted a little with the force of it, "Hold it right there. Now, just where the hell did that come from?" I just stood silently, glaring down without bothering to offer any sort of explanation. Standing there in silence for several very tense seconds, before he prompted again, "Well?"

I forcefully jerked my arm from his grip. I was so tired of being grabbed, so I continued on up the stairs.

Already forcefully reminded of one specific moment in my recent past that I could do without being reminded of. Despite how her words were different, the meaning behind them were the same. What she started to tell me really reminded me of what happened the morning after Jack and I had gotten to California.

Jack's words to me after I admitted being afraid of Ken.

"You get up, get dressed, and you will go. You'll go with him, and you'll smile like you're at fucking Disney Land, or so help me, I will beat you until you're black and blue!"

Too much.

I'd never admitted that part to anyone yet, so I couldn't exactly blame her for say that. It seemed so small at the time, but now, it was something huge, and nobody knew that. I could feel their eyes following me, but I didn't look back. Slamming my bedroom door behind me as hard and as roughly as I could. As much effort as I could muster went into that, and I hoped it made a statement. Leave me alone.

It did.

I was up all night thinking, having locked my door. I wasn't coming out for anything. Not to have Rose threaten me even more. Who the fuck was she to tell me that? Who the fuck was she to pretend she knew what was best, or to think she could boss me around like that? Fuck her.

Figuratively, she'd shoved me, and I could shove right back.

I fought it, I did, but I couldn't help hardening just a little bit. My emotions steeling themselves into something I didn't like. Like cement in the pit of my stomach, and I knew what that meant. It would take more than just words to soften it.

I was a pretty decent mixture of pissed off and determined. I also felt the familiar burning of bitter hate in that mix as well. I didn't hate Rosalie, or anyone else. This hate was just general. I hated the situation.

It was stupid to provoke them that way, so it really didn't make any sense to me why I'd do that, but it certainly seemed that way.

By the time dawn came, I was already dressed. Sitting downstairs, and waiting to be taken to school. I sat on the couch with my bag beside me, my arms crossed over my chest. I didn't speak to anyone, least of all Rose who attempted to apologize. Bitterly, but she attempted to nonetheless.

I nearly told her to go fuck herself again, but I was probably going to be in enough trouble today with the way I felt. So I kept it to myself.

Jasper's attention was taken as he went to walk by. Pausing his steps, looking my way.

"Leandra?" Jasper tried, his tone cautious, "Can we talk?" I made no acknowledgement. I didn't even blink. Staring with a slight glare down at the rug. I knew he felt it, what I felt, and I knew it was heavy. I didn't care.

"Leandra?" He tried again, and this time I looked up. Meeting his eyes, and his expression darkened into concern and uncertainty. I watched it happen.

Before I left with Carlisle, Jasper had to speak with him. That was fine. Nobody knew what I was going to do. Without Edward here, and with Alice being pretty much unable to look ahead for my own decisions, I was safe. I could do what I needed to do to ensure my place.

The moment I was let out of the car in front of the school, I'd already decided. If I had to go to school, if they were going to try to force me to leave their side, there was one sure way I could make myself stay. I didn't want to be here, so I wouldn't be here. Just like before. Just like before, I knew what would happen.

Puzzled, Carlisle stood there, watching after me as I just walked away from him. Not even looking at him, I stalked across the street. Straight to where a group of boys stood talking.

This poor boy didn't even see it coming. I didn't pause, or wait. I got to his side, and slammed my fist into the side of his face, watching him drop to the pavement.

On the plus side, it seemed that Emmett didn't need to teach me how to throw a punch after all. I barely felt the impact.

I straddled the boy's stomach, pinning him to the sidewalk, and punched him again. This time, blood sprayed from the front of his face. Down his nose, and from his lips. I hit him again. And again.

I used all my left over anger at Rosalie to fuel me.

By now, kids surrounded us. Both shouting in encouragement, and trying to pull me off the smaller boy. An arm circled my chest, and pulled me backwards. Breaking my hold on the boy's shirt and pulled me off my feet.

I didn't even hesitate this time. I was sick of this, and I'd had enough. I bit the teacher holding me, getting almost thrown away from her. Pouncing on another kid too close, and sitting on his back as he fell to his stomach. I knotted my hand in his hair, and this time I hit his face on the sidewalk, instead of with my fist. Blood coated the pale gray cement beneath him, staining it.

Bringing his head back, I slammed it against the sidewalk again. Hearing a definite crunching sound as his nose probably broke.

Yet again, I was pulled up. Lifted off this boy, and I recognized Carlisle as the one holding me, so I knew better than to bite him. Both his arms around my stomach, holding me off my feet. He must have gotten through the sea of students watching. I gave one struggle, but that was it. Panting in my left over anger, glaring at what I'd done.

I didn't try to fight it anymore. I wasn't sorry. I didn't feel bad. I was pissed. I felt sick. I wanted what I wanted, and nobody was listening. Maybe now, they'd listen. Maybe now they knew what I could do. That was a bad thing, I knew it was, but it felt satisfying to finally let it out. No more hiding, no more pretending I wasn't what I was.

More teachers surrounded us, lifting an unconscious and bloody boy from the pavement, and helping the other to his feet, blood flowing freely down his face and chin. The kids around us were still shouting as I looked up at Carlisle. I was determined, and I knew he saw it, given the way his expression changed. Just like Jasper's had earlier.

Thankfully, the sun was still on the other side of the building, so he was able to come grab me before I could really kill anyone. I would have too. I knew it, and Carlisle knew it.

I got suspended for a week, and I had to be taken home. According to Carlisle, I was unbelievably lucky not to be arrested.

See how safe school is, I thought bitterly. It's so amazingly safe. Nothing could ever happen. Then again, I corrected myself, they probably had never seen the likes of something like me.

I was only getting started. If it took several times of doing that before they got the message, I would continue doing it. I'd kill someone if I had to. I'd get kicked out of every school in town, because it obviously worked. I wasn't giving up without a fight, pun definitely intended, and Carlisle was probably starting to see that.

I left the car once we got home. Slamming my door roughly behind me and headed for the door. I wasn't done. Not by a long shot. Despite my bruised knuckles and aching hand, I'd hit as many kids as it took. The moment I got into the house, I headed for my room. My heart pounded too quickly, too hard in my anger, and I needed to calm it down.

"Leandra." Carlisle's call behind me made me pause, and I turned. Standing there on the stairs, "What are you doing?"

"I was going to my room." I replied sharply, "Isn't that where you were going to send me anyway?"

Stop it, I shouted to myself. Stop it!

I wasn't trying to push them away. That was the opposite of what I was trying to do, but I still had left over anger. Instead of easing, it was only growing, and I really didn't want to take it out on them. I wanted to explode in privacy.

"No." He said, "That isn't what I meant. What are you doing?" I stayed quiet, leaning against the railing, "What are you trying to say?" I looked down, shrugging a little, "Leandra, this move is difficult on all of us. None of us wanted to leave."

"It's not just about that." I mumbled, sniffling a little.

"Hey." Emmett's voice entering the room took my attention, "I thought I heard her voice. What happened?" I looked to Rosalie and Jasper behind him, both with confused expressions in their eyes, "Aw, don't tell me.."

"Then what is it about, Leandra?" Carlisle asked, ignoring their arrival, "I want to know. I'm trying so hard to understand. You've changed so much. This is more than school. This is more than being overwhelmed. I've seen you overwhelmed. What are you trying to tell me?" I hadn't changed at all. That was the entire problem. I'd always been this way. I'd just hidden it until now. Now they could see it.

"Just.." I sighed, turning, "Forget it."

"Leandra." He called, and again, I paused. Looking back down at where he stood in the living room, "Talk to me." He really didn't want to hear what I had to say if what I said the day before bothered them so much.

"What did she do?" Emmett nearly demanded. He was upset, which was understandable.

"They had it coming." I replied to him sharply, "They all did."

"What happened?"

"They didn't deserve that, Leandra." Carlisle corrected me, "That was entirely unprovoked. What, may I ask, did they do to deserve that?"

"They were there." I crossed my arms, "So they deserved it."

"Leandra, this isn't like you." He slowly stepped forward. He seemed more concerned than angry.

"You wouldn't know that." I countered, retreating a step. I was getting mad again, though. Taking a breath, "It doesn't even matter. Just send me back in a week, and see how well that goes."

"Please talk to me." He stopped me again with just his voice.

"Why?" I asked quietly, "What's the point? You won't listen anyway."

"I've worked too hard with you, and you've worked too hard with me to give up." He reminded me, "Do you remember?"

"No." I lied straight to him.

"Leandra?"

"Don't worry." I grumbled, "I'll be fine. Just fucking perfect." I took a breath, and with that breath, my voice raised again, "Not like it fucking matters!" As much as I hated it, I couldn't stop it. I couldn't help lashing out at him, because my anger wouldn't ease.

Apparently, I needed a little bit of help easing it, and the one person who could help me took the hint.

I went to turn again, but paused on my own this time. Suddenly, the anger I hid behind was taken. Almost ripped away from me until it was gone completely. Covered, and I couldn't feel it anymore. All I felt was the pain.

The pain that fueled the anger, that kept it going. That certain deep, echoing ache in my heart that I covered comfortably with that anger.

Slowly, I turned. Looking back at Jasper as he now stood closest to me. Between where Carlisle stood, and where I stood on the stairs. A pointed look in his firm expression, he nodded once.

Watching as I had to sit, no longer able to stand, his gaze only hardened. Puzzled, but not stopping to question that, I couldn't breathe yet. I hadn't had my emotions turned on me like this yet, and it oddly felt almost physical. With how forcefully it hurt, this actually was comparable to getting hit.

"That matters." He told me firmly, "Do you feel that?" I sniffled hard, taking a sniffling deep breath and holding it, trying to fight the tears until I couldn't anymore, "Do you feel that pain? That's called heartbreak, Leandra. That's pain. That's your own. That's yours, and it's far passed time for a time out." My head to the side, resting it on the wall beside me, looking at him as he watched me just crumble from what I was before to what I was now.

From deeply angry, to coughing around sobs that stole my breath. The pain was intense, and I could tell by looking up at him that he felt all the anger he hid from me, and it hurt him. Feeling it was one thing. Covering it, trying to suppress it and put a stop to it was a whole different story. I guess I got the answer to the question I was wondering about before.

"I'm tired of watching you do this to yourself, so it's about time I do something about it." He told me, his tone sharp, "You do this to yourself every time you let yourself hurt someone else, and you do that to someone else every time you decide to snap. To fight them when they're only trying to help you." I sniffled roughly, trying to stop crying. Fighting it, but I couldn't. It was too heavy.

His expression was steel now as he looked at me, "Pay attention to that, Leandra, because I'm not letting you hide behind this anger anymore. I've had it with this anger. I've had it with your careless words, and I've had it with your heartless actions. All it's doing is making you feel like this. Maybe having no choice but to feel this pain will help you. I can only hope."

He turned and he walked away, leaving me to cry.

I watched after him, but he didn't stop. He continued on from the room, rounding the corner into the kitchen. Alice immediately followed him.

Carlisle sighed, slowly stepping forward. I watched him, unable to do much else. I wanted to be mad at him, but all I could do was cry pathetically.

"I know things have changed, and I'm sorry." Carlisle told me quietly, "I'm so sorry."

"It's not about that." I sobbed, shaking my head.

"Then what is it about, Leandra?" He asked, "Please. Tell me so I can fix it."

"You're not there!" I cried harder, "Nobody's there!"

"I'm here all the time, shorty." Emmett reminded me.

"Not here." I clarified, "There." Carlisle frowned as he slowly sat beside me.

"At school?" He asked, and I sniffled hard once more, nodding. Sobbing out my breath. He seemed to understand suddenly. His expression changed, "I see now." He put his arm around me, hugging me into his side.

"What?" Emmett asked, still confused.

"She's not trying to destroy the bond she's built." Carlisle explained, "Not only does she not feel safe there, but she's fighting to keep it. She feels that if she's separated from us, from the family for any length of time, she'll lose it. She doesn't want to let it go."

He sighed, "Keeping her home all this time has both helped her, and hurt her. We were hoping for a bond, but she's built an attachment. A very strong one, from the looks of it. Forcing her to leave, even for something as simple as school, must cause her great pain. That's why she's acting out, and that's why she compares both scenarios."

I knew that was meant for Rose. I kept my eyes closed, though. Unable to really breathe with the pain I felt. I wanted to be mad at Carlisle, not holding onto him as tightly as I could.

"Suddenly changing how we live day to day is causing the problem here, and she really does see it as a punishment." Carlisle continued, "She's confused, and she doesn't understand. Pushing her to attend school, to her, is pushing her away. She sees any enforced distance as a punishment for something she did wrong, so she acts out to stay. Fighting to keep things the way they were before. Essentially, anywhere around us is her comfort zone. When we moved, that comfort zone became much smaller. More compact.

"We seem to have forgotten that she can't adapt, she can't adjust the way we can. She was still adjusting in Forks, getting used to everything there. Suddenly, all that was taken, and I think it's left her feeling threatened. Not only in danger of losing us, but threatened by everything around her. Everything changing so drastically, so quickly makes her insecure. It scares her."

"It certainly explains a few things." Jasper admitted. It surprised me that he'd come back, much calmer now. Alice must have helped more than I thought. He spoke, "Leandra, I have to apologize."

"I'm afraid that it was my fault as well." Carlisle added, "Immediately starting work here at the hospital, instead of waiting. Giving her no time to adjust to being here." He sighed again, "Leandra, I'm sorry. I should have thought ahead."

Finally managing to open my sore and still crying eyes, I looked to the group now by the door. Jasper stood furthest back, and Rose beside him looked down. Esme finally understood also, given her expression.

"Harsh discipline won't work." Carlisle stressed to them, "As she's proven today, that'll only push her away. It'll only push her to do something reckless and rash. We're not doing that anymore." He shook his head a little, "I've been saying this from the start. So there won't be any more harsh scoldings, or forcing her emotions against her. Am I clear?"

Rose sighed heavily, "Are you kidding-"

"There is a difference between harsh, and firm." He clarified, "I'm not telling you not to correct her, but avoid words like the ones used last night. Taking her options won't help her."

"I doubt much of anything will help that little monster." Rosalie grumbled before anyone could stop her. She didn't know how right she was.

"Rosalie." Esme corrected her sharply. I closed my eyes, listening to her leave the room.

"Is he right, Leandra?" Jasper asked me, and I glanced to him. I honestly wasn't sure how to answer him.

"Then how did she handle Josh's birthday party?" Alice asked, "How did she handle being away from us all those times?"

"Maybe they were part of her comfort zone?" Esme suggested.

"I think so." Carlisle agreed, "Outside the school in Forks, the only way I was able to walk away from her at all was by Zack's arrival."

"And the party." Alice agreed as well, "Josh pulled her away from me. Maybe she was more attached to them than we thought."

"That would also explain a few things." Carlisle sighed.

"It's not like we can just have them move here." Alice muttered.

"Definitely not." Carlisle replied, and I shook my head a little. I knew that. Carlisle sighed once more, "I'll take the week off. I'm hoping that by doing so, she'll adjust a lot easier and eventually, she'll be able to return to school. I do worry, however, that because of this, it might have hurt her chances of recovering."

I looked over as Rose and Emmett came back into the room. She still seemed just as pissed at me, and I couldn't blame her. I hadn't been very nice to her lately. I hadn't been very nice to anyone lately, but her least of all.

"Leandra," Alice spoke up, "If it's being hauled all the way here that's bugging you, you have nothing to worry about. Things are just like before." I didn't believe her. Not one bit. I'd seen the differences myself. The second we got here, everyone started going back on everything they told me. They started going back on their opinions of the situation, and my entire feeling of everyone had changed.

I felt in the way and abandoned by Carlisle, and I had to choose my words carefully around Emmett. Jasper hardly even looked at me, and when he did, it was to show me how much pain I'd feel if I wasn't so mad. Edward wasn't even going to show up. Esme was correcting me, sending me away just like Emmett now. They had all changed, and maybe I was adapting. Just not in the way everyone wanted me to.

Maybe now, because they were all so different, I wanted to treat them the way I'd treat anyone else I didn't know, but I was confusing myself.

I shook my head.

"Why?" She asked, "Why do you disagree?"

It was quiet for a moment, until I pulled away from Carlisle's side. Standing and ascending the stairs as quickly as I could. Nobody stopped me this time. I didn't mind that a bit.

I didn't slam my door this time. I closed it firmly, but I didn't slam it. I crossed the room, not sure what to do. Opening the balcony doors, I felt the slow breeze, and I breathed in. I'd leave them open. Just for that reason. My skin felt too warm from emotion, and this helped.

Laying across my bed, and waiting for the pain to ease, all I could do was cry.

I was faced now with something that scared me more than I'd been scared before. Turning on my family like I have been. It was one thing to turn on everyone else. I didn't like it when I did that, but turning on my family like I had been had seemed so impossible before. I never even considered it.

If it had just been a one time thing, it wouldn't have been so bad. If I had only done it once, it wouldn't have been so scary to me. I'd been stressed, upset. I was still upset and stressed, but that was hardly an excuse.

I curled up on my side on the bed, staring out of the open doors. A slow, chilly breeze crawled into the room, clearing my head as much as it could be cleared and ruffling the curtains over the doors at the same time.

I wasn't doing as well as I had been before. I was crumbling, falling to pieces.

I was having trouble seeing who was wrong anymore, and who was right. I knew my family was right, that how I behaved wasn't how I was supposed to be behaving, but I couldn't let myself accept that. Some stubborn part of me wanted to be right. That my behavior was justified, and that I had every right to act the way I did. That I had every right to blame them, and shout at them.

I wasn't doing well at all.

My quiet sobs lasted until the afternoon, when I finally fell asleep, but when I woke up about an hour later, I wasn't feeling any better. Not at all. I refused to come out the entire day, and for the second night in a row, I stayed in my room all through the evening. Refusing to come out to eat.

Esme came into the room just as night started to fall, and she sat with me. As much as I didn't want to admit it, I appreciated it. She didn't say anything. She didn't tell me that it'd get better, or that it'd get easier to handle. She just sat with me. Now and then stroking the back of my head, comforting me.

I hated fighting with my family. I hated it. They did deserve much better. How was it possible to not even notice how alone I felt until it turned into this?

Even with talking to Emmett, I still felt alone. Like their lives had been put on hold because I came around, and now suddenly, they were living again.

It was hard sorting through all of this.

I fell asleep again a short while later, this time for much longer. With Esme's silent assurance that everything was going to be fine, I found it a lot easier to rest. Despite bringing it on myself, I couldn't help being exhausted.

I really was reluctant to talk to anyone again. More drawn in and closed off over the next several days. More likely to choose to sit alone up in my room over sitting with them again. I mean, I'd speak to them, but that was all. I wouldn't open up, and I wouldn't even mention anything was wrong.

I knew they noticed this.

"Leandra?" Alice was at my bedroom door.

"What?" I asked, turning over to look at her in the doorway.

She sighed, stepping in, "You can't keep hiding like this."

Nearly an entire week having gone by without seeing much of anyone for longer than it took to eat. Hardly saying much of anything to anyone. I didn't want to talk about what happened at the school. I didn't want to talk about anything that was bothering me.

The entire time I was up here, though, it was for a purpose. I needed to be alone for just long enough to teach myself to learn how to let go of them, but nobody was letting that happen.

I took a deep breath and sat up. Forcing myself numbly to my feet, and passed her on my way out of my room. She tried to stop me, trying to take my arm and hug me like she usually did, but I shook myself from her grip. Not even glancing at her as I continued on.

She didn't want me to hide away anymore, so I was doing what she told me. I didn't agree on a hug.

I found my old spot on the couch, Emmett looking over at me. He reached over, trying to pat my hand like he usually did, but I scooted my hand away. Hiding it under my leg. Once more, not even looking at him. I focused on the TV screen instead.

"Okay." He spoke, "What's wrong with her?"

"She's having a tough time." Alice had followed me, answering him.

"Is she sick?" He asked, inspecting me.

"Jazz thinks she's depressed."

"Depressed?" Emmett asked, "Kids can get depressed?"

"Yes." She replied as if that was obvious, "Especially ones.. Well, yes. It's possible." I knew what she was going to say. Especially kids like me. If this was what depression was, I didn't like it much. I constantly felt so bad, not really wanting anything to do with anyone. Hence, hiding away in my room. Making me leave my room wasn't going to change much.

"Then he needs to fix it." Emmett replied, "I miss shorty."

"It's not that easy." Alice sighed, sitting on the armrest next to me, "He can cover it all he wants, but what's she going to do when she can't be with him?" Meaning, tomorrow. When I had to go back to school.

"Then how do we fix her?" Emmett asked.

"First off, try not talking about her like she's not sitting right here."

I shrugged, "I don't care. I'm not really listening anyway." Which was true. I was used to them talking about me like that.

"Come on, shorty." Emmett muttered, "Wanna go outside?"

"Not really." I sighed. If I'd wanted to go outside, would I really be hiding up in my room?

"What's bugging you?" He asked me, but I just continued watching TV like I didn't hear him.

By the time I had to go back to school, I was hardly any better, but I went through with it without an outward fuss. I didn't argue. During the week, nothing had really changed, but I'd learned how to give up. It was just easier to give up. It was what they wanted from me, and if I could somehow make up for all I'd done, might as well.

The first week of October was colder than it had been, and I definitely felt the difference. My first day back at school, away from the house, made me feel just as insecure as I felt the first day I had to go. The only difference was that I wasn't around Jasper anymore. I could feel my anger again, and it hurt. It made it hard to breathe, but I never said a word.

I walked myself into the school, Carlisle following.

"Leandra." He sighed, "Hold on a minute." Stopping in the hallway, I waited as he continued, "I just want to be sure you understand."

With a nod, I moved to keep going, but he caught my hand. Turning me to face him again, but I kept my eyes down.

"What I mean," He told me, "Is I want to be sure that you understand why we can't just let you stay home. As much as we want you to be comfortable, we literally can't let you stay home from school. This is where they want you to be, and they'll make sure of it one way or another. We're trying to keep you. Isn't that what you want? To stay with us?"

I had to nod.

"For that to happen, to stay living with us, you have to go here every day." He continued, "I have no choice but to comply. So no. We're not pushing you away, or getting rid of you. It's not that we don't want you around. It's just the opposite. As uncomfortable as being here makes you, imagine not coming home to us every day, but to someone else. Some other family." I winced, shaking my head. I didn't want to imagine that, "Do you understand?"

Nobody had put it that way before, and it really made me think. I hesitated, really thinking about it this time. I started to see that he was trying so hard to make me see his side of things, and I'd been refusing to. Maybe I was just too stubborn to get that until now. I eventually nodded again.

"Okay?" He prompted once more. He probably needed more of an answer than that.

"Okay." I mumbled. If I hadn't done all the thinking I had during the week I had off, I probably wouldn't have accepted it this easily, so I was grateful for that at least. Maybe I was a little depressed, but learning how to let them go was bound to depress me.

"Will you be okay here?" He asked me, and I just nodded again. I had very little choice. He gave me a nod in return, standing back up and taking my hand.

Carlisle had to sit with the principal, and talk about what was going on, and what happened that day. That was what would decide whether or not I could stay here. Carlisle didn't have much choice but to give her an honest explanation, which turned out to be the right move.

"If we can avoid another incident like that, I'd very much appreciate it." She told me, "One boy has made a full recovery, and the other may take a bit more time, but he's expected to be alright. I'm going to schedule you for once a week visits with our guidance counselor. Maybe she can help you adjust." She smiled at me like she was doing me a giant favor.

I didn't say anything, only looking down at the carpet. She looked to Carlisle now.

"She'll be informed as to what day that is, and of course, asked to keep you informed as well. We encourage parents to take an active role in their child's education, and what goes on in their lives here." She sounded so unbelievably full of it, I couldn't breathe for a second. I thought I might actually puke.

I tuned them out now.

I walked into the classroom, placed the four page essay I'd written down onto Mr. Kline's desk much to his surprise, and sat down as he picked it up, looking it over briefly.

"Thank you, Leandra." He said, giving me a nod, "Did you have a nice break?" I kept my eyes down, shrugging a little. I felt more like crying than talking. The anger I felt again settled back into place like it'd never been gone. I didn't like it.

"Hey." Alyssa greeted me with a smile, like I hadn't just been gone for a week. I glanced to her, before I looked back down, "Thank you."

I frowned.

"For what?" I asked, speaking to her for the first time.

"Hitting my brother." She answered, "He definitely had it coming." My eyes widened a little, and at first, I didn't know what to say. Her brother must have been one of the boys I attacked before I got suspended. I honestly had paid no attention who it was.

"I'm really sorry about that." I said, "I didn't even know who I hit. I was just-"

"Don't be." She said, "He likes having two black eyes. Even if it was by a girl. He says it makes him look tougher." I couldn't help smiling a little.

"Well, I guess you're welcome, then." I said, "I'd be happy to do it again, but I might get kicked out of school for good."

"Probably." She gave a confident nod, "I'm surprised you didn't."

"You and me both." I muttered, and she laughed.

"Normally, they don't tolerate stuff like that. Even less than what you did. Someone important really must want you here." She laughed a little. I looked down. Carlisle probably called in more favors just to keep me here.

"Well, I'm glad you didn't get kicked out." She smiled when I didn't reply, "The other schools are really boring, and I wouldn't have anybody to talk to."

"Don't you have friends?" I found myself curious. She just smiled and shook her head.

"No." She said, "I don't really like people." Didn't that ring a bell? "The only one I really talk to is my stupid brother, but that's mostly because he likes to bug me. My sister goes here too, but I never see her during the day."

"Why not?" I asked, interested now.

"Well, she's in the baby class. Kindergarten." She explained, "They're sort of kept away from us older kids." She laughed, "Probably so they're not beat up everyday, or so they don't get their little feelings hurt. You know how kids can be."

"Yeah." I agreed, looking down, "They can be pretty mean." I thought to my own sister, Kindergarten age, feeling more than a little awkward.

"Up through second grade, they're pretty much on their own schedule." She shrugged with a nod, "And if anybody picks on my sister, I'll have to hurt them. Nobody wants to see that."

"Noted." I mumbled, and she found that funny.

"Not you." She said, "You're pretty tough. You know, everybody was talking about what you did last week. They still are. Second day here, and you already have the whole school afraid of you."

"Good." I muttered, looking down again.

"Just out of nowhere, beating up two kids like that?" She seemed amazed by what I'd done.

"Which one was he?" I asked, "Your brother?"

"Oh, the first one you mauled." She said, "He's already back in school, so you can probably meet him today if you wanted."

"Maybe." I doubted I'd want to. I really didn't want to see what I'd done.

"Maybe." She agreed with a smile, and she turned forward again as Mr. Kline got talking. I got the distinct impression that this girl had a lot to say, but nobody to say it to. Being the oldest in her family, she probably did a lot of listening.

We didn't speak again until right before recess. When everybody else was talking. Mr. Kline himself seemed pretty into reading the essay I'd given him, so he hardly cared that the class wasn't doing what we were supposed to be doing. I suddenly started to regret not just making everything up, but once I got started, I found it hard to quit.

"So where are you from?" Alyssa asked when I didn't start up a conversation, taking my attention. I remembered my time first getting to know Alice. This girl reminded me of her, genuinely interested in what she asked me. I knew she was actually nothing like Alice, but she was very attentive.

"Washington." I answered quietly. By the way I didn't tell her to fuck off, she must have been encouraged.

"DC?" She asked, and I shook my head.

"State." Her eyes widened a little.

"Long ways away." She said, "Bet that sucked."

"It still does." I replied honestly, and she smiled.

"It's 'cuz you're alone, silly." She laughed, "You have to make friends. It'll suck less then." I rolled my eyes a little.

"I can't make friends." I told her, and her smile faded.

"Why not?"

"I'm too mean." I answered simply.

"I don't think you're too mean." She said, "I think you just don't like anybody messing with you." I looked over, "Some people like to be alone more than other people. There's nothing wrong with that."

I didn't know what to say to that, and thankfully, I didn't have to say anything. The bell for recess called everyone outside, and she stood up with everyone else. Looking to me. I didn't want to move.

"Come on." She plead, "Come meet my brother." I groaned, but stood up, "Maybe if we're lucky, he'll cry or wet his pants."

Letting her lead the way to the door, I looked back as Mr. Kline hadn't even moved yet. With a shrug, I followed Alyssa from the room, insecurely stuffing my hands in my pockets. She slowed so she walked beside me, not seeming the least bit concerned. Grinning, she clearly looked forward to scaring her brother.

"I'm Alyssa, by the way." She officially introduced herself on our way up the hall with everyone else.

"I know." I replied.

"You can call me Aly, or just Alyssa." She went on, "I go by both. My brothers usually only call me Aly."

"You have more than one brother?" I asked, and she nodded.

"I have four."

So I'd been wrong. She wasn't the oldest. Unless they were all younger than her too, but she never mentioned any other siblings here at this school with her, other than her brother and her sister.

"Wow." I murmured, "Big family."

"No kidding." She muttered, and her smile faded slightly.

"Don't you like your brothers?" I asked quietly, and she looked to me. Her smile returning.

"Yeah." She said, "Yeah, they're.. They're brothers, you know? They're buttheads, and they like to pick on me a lot." Her smile replaced itself.

"Mine does too." I replied quietly, "Or he used to."

"Used to?" She asked.

"Long story." I sighed, letting her push open the door. It had closed before we got there, thanks to our slow pace, "Are they mean to you? Your brothers?" I had to ask. I usually made it a point with the boys not to be too nosy when it came to their home lives, but apparently, that didn't apply here. I had to know.

"Sometimes." She shrugged, "But all brothers are. There's just not a lot of room for all of us where I live, so we don't always get along." That smashed my suspicion. I nodded, understanding now. She wasn't from the richest family, and I could definitely understand why that'd embarrass someone. I knew that better than anyone.

We crossed the field together, and I could see that her brother was already waiting for her in her spot. Seeing us coming, he stood up quickly.

"Are you crazy?" He called to Alyssa, "Get away from her!"

"Shut up, Alex." She rolled her eyes, "She's nice."

"Nice, my ass." He countered, "Do you not see what she did to me?" He wasn't lying. He really did have two black eyes, but at least he could still see out of them. A deep bruise down the left side of his face from where I first hit him spread a tiny bit over his cheekbone, joining with the darker bruising of his eye. I'd really hit him hard.

"You had it coming, and you know it." Alyssa replied, crossing her arms. He paused, glancing between his sister and I. Until he finally sighed and grinned.

"Okay, you're right." He said, looking to me, "But no more hitting me, okay? That really hurt."

"I'll do my best, but no promises." I mumbled, and he grinned wider, laughing a little.

"If you want to hit someone, just tell me." He suggested, "There are plenty of other kids that you can aim for."

"Why would I do that, when you're standing right here?" I asked, and for a second, his eyes widened a bit. I couldn't help smiling a little. Seeing I was joking, he grumbled, "Oh, ha. Funny."

"Alex, this is Leandra." Alyssa smiled at me, "She's new here."

"Nice name." He told me, nodding a little. He seemed nice enough, but studying his face, I noticed something off. His right eye was darker, more swollen than the other. His left, where I'd first hit him, wasn't as black as the other, and on the outside of his right eye, was a definite mark of impact. Red and swollen, with a slight split in the skin on his upper cheek, closer to his temple.

The only problem was, I never hit him there. Not in the way it would have taken to get that. That was the mark of a backhand, but I didn't do that. I only punched him, and I knew what a backhand bruise looked like. Maybe roughhousing with his brothers? I'd seen the way Josh and Zack played around with each other.

"So since when do you make friends, Aly?" Alex asked, grinning at her beside me. He had the same color eyes as she did, maybe slightly darker.

"I have friends." She countered defiantly, "I just never let them meet you."

"How old are you?" Alex asked me, and I sighed.

"Ten." I answered, "Well, ten years, two months, and three weeks."

They both seemed to find that funny. Alex nodded, "I don't count it like that. I say I'm ninety-one years from dying." I frowned. That was an odd way to look at it.

"You're not going to live until you're a hundred, stupid." Alyssa told him, "You're probably going to do something stupid much sooner than that, and it'll get you killed." I didn't like this conversation. Most people didn't talk so casually about dying.

"Fine." Alex rolled his eyes at her, "I've been alive for nine years."

We all eventually sat down, getting tired of standing around. These kids were interesting. Their bantering back and forth reminded me a little bit of Zack and Josh, and I half wished I had a sibling around my age, but instantly went back on that.

My luck, it'd have been a sister, and I'd have had to protect her. I don't think I could have handled taking someone else's beatings along with my own. Or it would have been a boy, and Jack would have raised him to beat me up too.

This was new territory for me. The only reason I got along so well with Josh and Zack was because I remembered them from before and Jack had made me meet them. I didn't know these kids, and from what I could remember, I don't think I'd ever had a friend that was a girl before. That actually did make a difference.

As we had to go back inside, she seemed a lot happier. Chatting away about how stupid her little brother was, but I knew by the way she talked about him that she'd always stand up for him. Sister stuff.

When the school day had ended, it was a surprise to me. It really did go by faster with someone to talk with. I was beginning to see that she was as good at boring conversation as the boys were. We gathered our stuff kind of slowly so she could finish what she was saying.

"But anyway," She told me as we walked the hallway, "Like I said. It's not that bad here. I mean, I've heard stories about the other schools, and if you'd hit anyone there like you did here, three would have pounced on you and beat you into hamburger."

"Nice." I winced, sarcasm in my tone.

"So you lucked out." She added, pushing open the door, "You just gotta be careful sometimes. I totally get wanting to just sock every face in sight sometimes, but next time you want to, just let me know, and I'll hold my brother down for you. He won't do anything back." I laughed at that one.

We met up with Alex outside the front of the school at the pick-up area, and Alyssa smiled at me.

"This where we part?" She asked me, and I glanced over. Spotting Carlisle standing outside the car, safely in the shade like the last time.

"Yeah." I sighed, "Are you getting picked up?"

"Nah." She replied, "We walk. We just have to wait for my sister." I nodded a little, adjusting the strap of my backpack on my shoulder.

"Do you live far?" I couldn't help the questions. I was really curious.

"Kinda." She allowed, "But not that far. It's fun to walk." She really seemed to mean that, so I shrugged a little and nodded.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" She really seemed unsure.

"I don't plan on getting suspended again any time soon." I muttered, disappointed, "I got into a lot of trouble for that. So probably." She grinned, seeming really pleased. I was beginning to get the distinct impression that she really liked having a friend. Even if I was only at the barely-tolerating her stage. I had to admit, though. She wasn't so bad.

"I'm sorry again for hitting you." I told Alex and he grinned also, "I wasn't looking at who I aimed for."

"I know." He said, "It's fine. I already told you. Just don't do it again. It's not fair when I can't hit you back."

"Why can't you hit me back?" I asked.

""Cuz you're a girl." He replied as if that were obvious.

"So?" I frowned.

"My brother says its wrong to hit girls." He explained, "So I don't."

"You hit me all the time." Alyssa pointed out, frowning as well.

"You're my sister." He mumbled, "You don't count."

Balling her fist, she hit him in the arm, and he hit her back in the same spot. I laughed a little, watching them return a punch back and forth.

"Remind me never to get a younger sibling." I mumbled.

"It's not so bad." Alyssa replied, "You can just hit them with stuff when they get annoying."

"An older one isn't so bad either." Alex countered, "When she gets annoying, I just hold her down and fart on her."

"Gross." I winced, and she gave me a look.

"All the time." She sighed, "It really gets old after the first thousand times."

"She puked once." Alex grinned.

"I better go." I muttered, laughing a little.

"See you tomorrow." Alyssa replied, laughing as well.

With that, we parted ways. I walked away, and they waited. I crossed the street to Carlisle's car, once again parked in the shade. Crossing more carefully this time, waiting for the minivan coming along to pass before crossing.

I was silent as I climbed in, turning to put my backpack in the back seat. I didn't throw it this time. Carlisle, though I know he was curious, didn't ask about the chat I'd paused for with Alyssa and Alex. Despite probably having heard everything.

I knew immediately that the family was nervous as we got home, walking in the door. Bracing themselves for the worst, and I couldn't blame them. Not really. Not after the first attempt at this whole school thing.

They watched my every move as I stepped inside, Carlisle following me. Probably looking for any sign I'd killed or maimed somebody. I knew I had to tell them something, but I wasn't sure what.

"I'm gonna go do my homework." I finally muttered quietly. That seemed to be enough of an answer. No arguments, no fights. Nothing bad to report, or confess to.

I headed up the stairs to their sighs of relief. The truth was, I felt a little tired. So instead of pulling out my homework as I got to my room, I just laid across my bed, face down. Worn out in every sense of the phrase.

A/N: That wasn't so bad, was it? Nah. Aside from the fact that the site was down for about 20 hours, so I couldn't get this out yesterday. :/
And I apologize. I promise our 'first' look at Mikah is coming up. He's just taking his time. :)
THANK YOU! To those AMAZING reviewers! EEEEEYAY! I love reading them! :D
Chapter six won't be long. :D It just needs a final go-over, and it'll be ready. So just a few days at most.
I'm loving how much detail I've slapped into these chapters. Fixing stuff that needed fixing. I couldn't wait to do this story, honestly.
Until Six, my beautiful readers! :D