The Gift of Resilience - Re-Vamped

by KNeu21

(RV2)S to 'TGoMisfortune'-Set during NM:RE-VAMPED VERSION! After waking up from a vision to find herself not only back to where she started, Leandra learns how to begin rebuilding the relationships she couldn't live without, and struggling to recall the details. While trying to avoid becoming the monster she fears she is destined to become. COMPLETE!

7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Emmett had to be lying. Pulling my leg. Just to see how gullible I was, or trying to scare me because of what day it was. That didn't seem odd for Emmett.

There couldn't be people out there that would just randomly steal a kid off the street. That was stupid, and it was stupid to almost believe him, but his distraction over it distracted me and the curiosity only grew.

I wasn't very talkative today, and neither was he. Whatever had gotten him thinking about something like this had obviously bothered him a lot.

Emmett disappeared upstairs to spend time with Rosalie sometime after four that afternoon, which had been happening more and more often, and Esme was busy looking over some pages of documents laid out across the table. I hadn't seen very much of Alice or Jasper lately, a passing here or there, but that didn't surprise me much. So there I was, left to entertain myself.

I didn't feel much like reading, this new mystery taking my thoughts for me, and the e-mail I sent to Josh only took a few minutes of my time.

The boys had been doing well. Same old, boring stuff happening there. Here I was, gone for over a month, and nothing had changed at all. I thought about trying to call him later, but decided against it. So for now, I decided on some fresh air to try to clear my head.

It had been awhile since I had been out in the back yard, and I knew that was perfect.

"Don't go far, Leandra." Esme murmured as soon as I opened the back door, not looking up from her documents.

"I won't." I replied, stepping outside. I made sure to close the door behind me, before turning to face the yard. The bright afternoon sunlight blinded me for a second, immediately warming me in a way I still wasn't used to. A breeze blew by, taking a few strands of my hair across my face.

This wasn't so bad, I figured. Outside, on my own.

I made my way from the back porch, to the wall and peered out across the park below. Not even knowing why, I climbed up and sitting on the wall. Taking my time. Inching closer and closer to hopping over it. My curiosity wouldn't be solved standing there doing nothing, and with it nagging at me all day, I wanted to solve it.

With that thought, I jumped to my feet. Off the wall, standing on the other side of it.

I slid a little on my way down the hill, landing on my butt for a brief moment before pushing myself back up and continuing on for the park. The late afternoon sunlight still warming my hair as the breeze took it slightly, I ducked under the small rope fence bordering the park, looking around the deserted area. My thin jacket was just enough to keep the chilly air from biting as I wandered further than I had before.

Passed the swings, and the play area. Further into the park, along the path, nervously looking around. I hadn't done this yet, wandering. I'd always been too nervous, too chicken to go far from my family's side, but now I was starting to see what Rosalie told me.

The world was bigger than staying home all the time.

This wasn't so bad, I thought again. As long as everyone else stayed away from me, I could handle this. I was getting a taste for freedom, and it didn't taste as bad as I thought it would.

Esme had told me not to go far, but part of me, a more adventurous part of me, wondered if she would even know if I did. Before I even knew what I was doing, I tested that. I'd made it to the other side, to the town side of the large park, and looked back. I couldn't even see the house anymore, the trees in the way.

One step, I told myself. I placed my foot on the concrete of the sidewalk outside the grassy park, smiling a little. Nothing bad happened. I wasn't killed, or set on fire. I was just standing on the sidewalk. Where the people were.

And I got walking.

This part of town was busier than I thought it'd be. The traffic in the street going by pretty fast, so I made sure to keep to the right side of the sidewalk as I walked up the street. I looked up and around as I walked, now and then glancing down to make sure I wasn't about to trip over something.

Wouldn't that be fitting, I thought. Tripping and dying my first attempt at wandering.

I came to the corner of the street, and slowed as I neared a group waiting to cross the street. I wasn't sure if I should go that far, but I moved as they moved, following them. Careful not to fall behind.

It was amazing to me. Out here, like this, I wasn't mad or scared. I wasn't mean. Out here, walking this way, I could almost pass as human. I never thought that was possible. Not ever. Why was that? Maybe because now, it was my choice? Curiosity had gotten the better of me, instead of being forced to face separation?

But the entire time, each step I took, I thought of how much further I was from the house. Any second now, I told myself, I'd give up, and I'd run home. Any second now.

After about ten minutes of walking like this, telling myself I'd run away any second, I still hadn't. I just kept moving. There were quite a few people along this stretch of sidewalk, but none of them were paying attention to me.

Some talking to whoever they were walking with, others ignoring everyone around them. Some looking straight ahead, and a few watching their feet or their phones.

I came across a small store. I wasn't even sure what made me curious about it, as I'd passed a few others like it. It sat on the corner of two busy streets, and it just seemed unique, so I decided to walk in. Drawn to the little building like that was where I was headed the whole time.

Pulling open the door, it jingled quietly and I glanced up at the small bell on the door. Smiling a little as I looked to the left. Finding the rows of shelves, holding products for sale. It was a convenience store. One of those places that sold everyday stuff someone might need. Along the back wall, was a row of five smaller, clear-doored refrigerators.

The only person in here aside from me, was the very bored-looking teenage cashier behind the short counter to my right. He seemed puzzled to see me, but not unfriendly. A magazine open on the counter in front of him.

I figured as long as I was here, I might as well get a bottle of water or something. I was pretty thirsty. I passed the fridges containing the milk, eggs, cheeses, and dips. Passed the ice cream and frozen dinners. I skipped all the energy drinks, fruit juices, and really sugary soda-type drinks, not in the mood for those.

On my way back toward the front with my chosen bottle of water freezing in my hand, I passed an aisle that did gain my interest, though. Stopping, I peered at it.

Every day, I was always given too much money for lunch. I had a lot left over at the end of every day, so I had a lot saved up. Grateful to have thought to stuff twenty bucks in my pocket before leaving the house, that opened a lot of opportunities to buy whatever I wanted from this aisle stocked full of candy.

So I stepped over, into the aisle and looked around.

I was never the type of kid to have a lot of experience when it came to candy, so this was a big decision, and I took my time. Picking something up, and putting it back, before picking something else up. I couldn't decide. There were so many choices.

"Need help?" I jumped at the voice of someone behind me. Turning sharply with a quiet yelp, I looked up and met the steely dark eyes of the bored-but-friendly cashier. I hadn't even noticed him move. I needed to pay more attention.

Up this close, he looked a little younger than I first thought. He was more tall than anything, but then again, practically everyone was taller than me. He wasn't quite scrawny, but lean. His longer, jet black hair fell almost untidily into his smiling eyes, but was still somehow swept back. It reminded me a lot of Zack's hair, but black instead of brown.

He laughed a little at my reaction, and spoke again, "Didn't mean to scare ya, kid. Was just asking, because you seem lost."

Shyly, I tucked my hair behind my ear. Just because it was in my eyes, and it was bugging me. Suddenly irritated at his interruption of my incredibly important decision making.

"No, thank you." I mumbled, scanning the shelves again, "I'm fine, and you didn't scare me. You're just lucky I didn't kill you."

"Cute." He chuckled, finding that very amusing. I ignored that. What was it I was looking for? Making a quick decision, I chose a big bag of hard, fruity candy. Just to get out of there.

"Good choice." The boy said, following me back toward the register, "That it for you?"

"That's it." I answered quietly as he stepped around the counter. Giving me another smile as he scanned both items, "I wasn't going to steal anything."

"Oh, I know." He nodded, "Because I was watching you. Three bucks." I rolled my eyes a little bit, gave him the money with a sigh, "You know. Can't be too careful. Kids these days." I didn't bother replying, gazing at his name tag.

It wasn't a very common name, one I had never heard before.

He held out the bag of items, along with my receipt. I reached for the bag, but he paused, "What are you doing buying candy, kid? It's Halloween."

"So?" I asked quietly as he let me pull the bag to myself.

"So." He replied, "It's everybody else's job to buy candy for you."

"Maybe I just wanted to buy some of my own." I shrugged, "Don't they always tell you in school not to take candy from strangers? And going to their house to do it? I thought that was a bad thing."

It was really no wonder why I was so confused about all this stupid stranger stuff. They tell you one thing, but the same thing in a different setting and under different circumstances was okay? What kind of ass-backwards world were all these people living in?

"You have.. Definitely got a point." He replied after a second of thought, "I've never thought of it like that before." He gave a quiet laugh, "Huh. Well, there you go. Your safe, stranger-free candy, madam." He smiled lightly, "Have a fantastic evening."

He could probably tell how much I didn't like him. Being honest with myself, it wasn't so much that I didn't like him. He just made me blush in a weird way, and I didn't like that.

"Thanks." I replied almost silently, "You too."

I scooted from the store, listening to the door jingle closed behind me. I stepped along the side of the building. Away from the door, but stopped a few steps from it. Wishing my heart would slow down.

I blamed it on being startled, and pulled out my bottle of water. I stood there for several minutes. Debating whether or not to go back in there and tell him off for scaring me or continuing to debate my point, but after enough time had passed, I knew it'd be stupid to do that.

I knew it'd be pointless to do that, but I was still tempted to go back in there. What possible reason did I have to want to go back in there? He hadn't been mean, I reasoned with myself. Why the hell would I want to go back?

I felt stupid anyway as just a few minutes after that, he stepped out. Distracted by locking the door behind him, he didn't notice me right away. I stood there, considering running off, but I waited, and he finally looked up. Given his expression, he had been slightly startled by someone standing there.

Ha, I thought bitterly. Now we're even.

"What are you still doing here?" He chuckled, recovering.

"Standing." I answered sarcastically, and he smirked, "Is it illegal to stand here?"

"Actually, it is." He replied, and I frowned at how serious he seemed. He pointed behind me, and I turned. Looking up the brick wall at a 'no loitering' sign on the side of the store. I assumed that meant no standing there, so I pointedly took a step to the side.

"Cute." He laughed, nodding, "Where are your parents?"

"At home, and at work." I replied honestly this time, and he looked around himself, dropping his keys into his pocket.

"Shouldn't you be with them?" He asked, "A kid like you running around town by yourself?" I raised an eyebrow.

"A kid like me?" I asked in return, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"What are you? Seven?" He asked, obviously entertained.

"Ten, thank you." I snapped.

"Oh," He laughed, "Ten. I'm sorry."

"You're sorry." I sniffed, "And you're an asshole." That really made him laugh, which only pissed me off even more.

I turned, fully intending to storm away. I only managed one step off the sidewalk, until he was suddenly yanking me back, out of the way of a car one split second away from hitting me. Once more managing to draw a yelp from me.

"Pay attention, kid." He told me, letting me struggle from his grip. I stood there, glaring up at him for a few seconds. Somehow outraged that he'd pull me anywhere, ignoring the fact that he'd only done it to keep me from certain death.

Surprised at my glare, he shook it off as he mockingly returned my glare, "You're welcome. Didn't your mom ever teach you not to give looks like that?"

"No." I muttered, finally glaring away from him. He chuckled, sighing.

"Alright." He said, lightly leading me forward the way I'd been going before almost dying by car, "Come on." I followed him, not even sure why. He crossed the street with me, walking with me. I wasn't sure where he'd been going before he found me standing there, but I was almost positive it hadn't been this direction.

The daylight had faded significantly while I stood wasted time, and the streetlights had come on while we were talking, just after dark now. We walked in silence for several minutes, and now and then I glanced up at him. I couldn't help it. I just wanted to keep looking at him.

He took me off guard, and unsettled me at the same time. Seeing him something of a surprise. Was that familiarity I felt? Did I know him too? Maybe I just recognized him from somewhere, but that was incredibly doubtful, considering the only place I'd been besides home was school. He sure didn't look the right age to be attending elementary school.

I suddenly recalled exactly why I was out here in the first place. What Emmett had talked to me about just a few hours earlier, and the curiosity that resulted. This boy had been the only person to even notice I was alive, so Emmett had been wrong. Unless this boy was trying to steal me? I doubted that too, but I was suspicious. I narrowed my eyes, suddenly on my toes. I was on to him.

"What's your name?" He asked me eventually, "And where do you live?"

"My name is a word that everybody calls me." I answered, knowing full well I was being a smart-ass. He accepted that with a light chuckle, "And I live behind the park."

"You live in the park?" He asked incredulously, "This park?" He gestured to the park I'd stopped outside of. Stopping with me, he looked down at me. Had we really walked that far? Already? I regretted that, surprisingly.

"Behind the park." I clarified, "Pay attention. Do I look like I live in a park?"

"And you were going to walk through there alone?" He asked me, still in the same incredulous tone. I shrugged a little.

"Why not?" I asked, "I'm not scared of it."

"Boy, you are something." He smirked at my stiff tone, "You really don't get out much, do you? No street-smarts whatsoever."

"Hey." I found that offensive.

He laughed, "Come on." Was he really going to walk me through the park? He didn't even know my name, and somehow, me walking alone bothered him. Then again, this could have been all a trick. He stepped forward, but I stayed put. Narrowing my eyes and crossing my arms. He looked back at me, "What?"

"What's your angle?" I asked, pointing a little at him, and oddly enough, his laughter made me laugh. It was contagious.

"Okay," He said, returning to my side, "You've got a point, but how do you expect to get home? I'm not about to let you walk through there alone. Not at this time of evening, and definitely not tonight of all nights."

"I'm not scared." I repeated, but he did have a point. It was kind of dark in that direction, and only getting darker.

I didn't have long to debate, however.

"Leandra." I turned, looking behind me at Jasper's call, spotting both him and Emmett striding over from in the park. Since it was after dark, they were free to come hunt me down the second I was discovered missing. Oops.

"Uh." I looked back up at the boy, "I gotta go."

I turned, running off to meet them. Confused, he watched me pass him.

"Hey, wait a minute." He called after me, and I knew he was following.

I met Jasper and Emmett quite a distance away, grabbing onto each of their wrists and tugging back the other direction. Toward home.

"Who is that?" Emmett demanded, not budging. Watching as the boy headed this way.

"Nobody." I muttered innocently, "Let's go home-" I squeaked as Emmett lifted me easily, and started forward, toward the boy heading our direction.

"Hey." Emmett called, and the boy smiled a little, "A word?"

"Leave it alone." I muttered to him.

"Sure." The boy replied once they met, "A word. You should probably keep tabs on her." The boy gathered that I obviously knew both of these guys, probably by the way I wasn't screaming my head off, so he knew it was okay to address the issue. Right here. Now. Not at all intimidated by Emmett's size.

"Really?" Emmett asked in return, slightly amused, "Any particular reason why? Or just in general?" He looked to me now.

"At very least, teach her when it's safe to cross a street. Had I not been there, she'd have been roadkill."

"Had you not been there, I wouldn't have been pissed off like that." I countered, and he smirked. I looked down, though, as both Emmett and Jasper's eyes landed on me.

The boy continued, "I couldn't just let her walk back alone, so I walked with her this far."

"That true, shorty?" Emmett asked, and sheepishly, I nodded.

"Well, thank you." Jasper told him now, "For keeping an eye on her. She wasn't supposed to leave the yard." I heard the quiet scold in his voice, wincing slightly.

"Ah, an escapee." The boy chuckled, "I know that move well. I've got a little sister just like her at home, and let me tell you. That never gets old for them. My suggestion, a leash. That'd do wonders." I knew he was joking. I wasn't sure how I knew that, but I just knew, "Well, she's fine. Don't worry about a thing."

"Thank you again." Jasper nodded, but his eyes were on me.

"Not a problem." The boy smiled, "Have a good night, Leandra." I smiled as he said that, and he chuckled. Turning to leave again.

"Hey, wait." I called, and he turned once more, "What's your name?" I read it before, but I wasn't sure how to pronounce it.

"My name is a word that everybody calls me." He told me, and I glared a little. He returned my glare lightly, before chuckling, "Keep making that face, it'll get stuck like that." My glare instantly left my face, "That's better. You look a lot friendlier when you smile. Smile, princess." He gave me another smile, and I had to do as he requested, and return it.

He laughed a little and he continued on. Emmett sighed and turned, heading back toward home. I watched after the boy, though. What was it about him that made it so hard to breathe?

"He's too old for you." Jasper murmured, taking my attention.

"What?" I asked, surprised. What an odd thing to say.

"You heard me." Was his only reply, a tiny smirk on his face.

"When I can still hold you in one arm, he's too old for you." Emmett had caught on.

"Too old for me for what?" I was honestly confused. He shook his head, both of them refusing to explain. I looked back again, but couldn't see the boy anymore. I sighed, "And you can probably hold three of me in one arm, Emmett. Four, if you find room."

He chuckled, "That's my point." Jasper only shook his head as well.

Crossing the park, I was suddenly deeply glad I wasn't trying this alone. I could barely see around me, and like clockwork, the darkness decided to make me quite nervous. I could just ball my hand in Emmett's sweater, and barely focus on not freaking out. The earlier light mood squashed flat by the weight of the dark.

"You're nervous?" Jasper had noticed.

"It doesn't matter where the dark is." I admitted quietly.

"Trust me, shorty." Emmett told me, "You've got nothing to worry about. I'm scarier than anything you're going to find around here. I actually dare someone to try something. They would instantly regret that decision."

That didn't help much. I still found it tough to find my next breath. My breathing tighter in borderline panic. The darker it got, the worse it got, and we weren't even halfway through the park yet.

"Close your eyes." Emmett told me, and I knew why. Complying immediately, I felt almost no difference, but a second or two later, I was being lifted up and dropped over the wall. Safely back in the back yard. I breathed a sigh, relieved at the sight around me.

"You know we shouldn't do that." Jasper was suddenly beside me.

"Oh, come on." Emmett hopped over the wall himself. First jumping up onto it, and slowly stepping off of it to land beside me. He chuckled, "I wasn't going to torture shorty like that when the place was deserted. She hates the dark, so why make her stay in the dark?"

Jasper sighed, allowing that with a light nod and letting it go. He led the way forward, and I followed him. Emmett following me.

"Brace yourself." Jasper finally spoke again, opening the door for me. A little puzzled, I stepped inside. I was lifted up again off my feet, hugged tightly before I was even two steps inside the door. I squeaked in surprise, but recognized Esme's arms holding me, so I returned it.

"Do you have any idea how worried I've been?" She asked, pulling back and looking at me. I blinked in surprise, caught so far off guard, I didn't know how to get back to it. She turned, carrying me further into the kitchen.

"I was coming back." I replied defensively.

"She's fine." Emmett assured her as he closed the door behind himself, "She just went wandering a little too far."

"Leandra," Esme gasped, "You can't do that. You can't just wander off like that. Especially when I tell you to stay close." I'd known she probably wouldn't approve of me wandering off, but I didn't know she'd worry that much.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, still surprised, "I'm fine." Wasn't me getting out on my own something she wanted? I was even more confused.

"I'm off." Jasper sighed, "I'll be home later." He started from the room. Pointing to me briefly on his way by, he spoke again, "He's still too old for you."

"Stop saying that." I called back, annoyed, "I don't even know what it means." I could just barely hear his chuckle.

"What was that?" Esme asked, watching as I sat down with a sigh. Placing my bag on the table in front of me.

"Nothing." I mumbled, pulling out the bag of candy I bought. I felt watched, awkwardly laying my arms on the table in front of me, "I think a mosquito bit me." I scratched lightly at the small pink bump on the back of my wrist.

"Changing the subject, shorty?" Emmett asked, and I looked up.

"Yes." I answered honestly.

Emmett shook his head, leaving the room with a laugh as well. Esme sighed, probably calming down now that I was seated in front of her as I opened the bag of candy, pulling out a piece.

"Not too much before dinner." She said, gesturing to the bag and I nodded, "At very least, please tell me where you're going next time."

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, "I wasn't planning on leaving." Lie.

"Am I still overprotective?" Emmett called from the living room.

"I didn't go that far." I continued, ignoring him, "I'll be careful." She sighed, giving me a look but I knew she wasn't mad at me, because I offered a sheepish smile, and she returned it. Leaning down, she briefly kissed my forehead.

"Don't scare us like that." I knew then she'd let it go. Alice joined us in the kitchen as Esme moved, starting to put dinner together for me. I watched her for a moment, Alice finding the seat beside me. I felt like I hadn't really seen her in days.

"Esme?" I asked hesitantly, and she looked back, "I know it's probably stupid to ask this right now. I wanna let her know tomorrow, but.. Um.. Can Alyssa come over this weekend?"

She sighed, as if this was a really tough decision.

"For the afternoon, or is she staying the night?" I smiled a little.

"The night?" I asked hesitantly, hopeful.

"I'll think about it." She was trying so hard to stay mad. I laughed a little, looking over at Alice beside me. She gave me a small smile. I knew what that would mean for them, but acting human for a night wouldn't kill them. They'd have to pretend to sleep, but I was sure they could use the break too.

I got my yes that night during the stand-off with the pill. Despite seeing what it could do for me, I still hated having to take it. Esme was attempting to distract me from the nervousness, and it did work to a point. At least enough to pick it up, but I hesitated in actually taking it.

"Just for tonight." She assured me, "Tomorrow night, you can try sleeping without it again if you want to."

"I hate it." I whimpered, "It makes me sleep, but I hate it."

"I know, honey." She replied sadly.

"Can't I skip it for tonight?" I asked, unsure.

"Just one more night." She insisted gently, and I sighed. Looking at the tiny half pill sitting in my hand. Giving in seconds later, and taking it.

"Leave the light on." I requested as I laid down, "Please?" Somehow, I expected myself to know if it was turned off, though I had no idea if the lamp had remained on the last two nights. I could see that my intense dislike of the dark concerned her, but she never commented on it.

I had yet to test the nightlight on my own yet. I wasn't brave enough.

"I will." She replied, bringing the blanket over me.

I laid there silently this time, waiting for my eyes to get too heavy. Esme stayed with me, despite me not having to ask her to. Holding my hand lightly, smoothing her thumb over my fingers holding her hand in return.

How could I still be nervous about this? I knew for a fact that there was no possible way I could be any safer than I was right there. Maybe because when I slept, I wasn't there anymore. I was stuck too far in my head, and thanks to the pill, I didn't have a way to wake up. It felt like I was leaving when I slept. I wasn't safe anymore when I slept. Forcing me to sleep wasn't helping that.

Shortly after the third deep yawn, my eyes closed on their own.

I didn't see Esme again until she was helping me wake up in the morning. It was difficult, just like both of the times before, but I couldn't sleep in until almost noon again, so naturally, I was pretty emotional. Stuck in that place between heavy sleep, and forcing myself to wake up. It felt stronger today, somehow.

She managed to get me out of bed, and downstairs, but I snoozed while she made breakfast. Half laid over the table, my head rested in my folded arm.

I recalled dreaming about the darkness again, but nothing about it. I still couldn't see what was inside it. Something I wasn't letting myself see. I wasn't any closer to figuring it out than I was before, so that was pretty frustrating.

"Wow." Emmett had found us, "Is that normal?" I opened my eyes, looking up at him. Oddly enough, Jasper and Alice followed him into the kitchen. Not having seen me fighting the pill before, it didn't surprise me that they were surprised.

"She'll feel better once she's eaten." Esme assured him, "Eating will help her shake it off." Until then, I let my eyes rest closed. My breathing sleepy shallow as I sensed the seat beside me becoming occupied. One blinking glance told me it was Alice.

"No wonder she hates it." Emmett muttered, sitting across from me, "I can't blame her."

"Is that really necessary to help her sleep?" Jasper asked, "She seems more tired than she was before she started this."

"It was a last resort." Esme sighed, putting an end to their concern.

Sure enough, just like the first morning, I started to wake up a little more as I ate, but it was harder this morning. I could keep my eyes open, at least.

"Did I dream that you said yes?" I asked Esme, and she smiled a little.

"No, honey." She replied, "You weren't dreaming. You can bring her over this weekend." I smiled a little, nodding, "Friday would probably work best. Jasper has class that night, so he'll be gone until eleven."

"That'll work." Jasper agreed.

"She just has to ask her parents." I mumbled through a yawn.

It didn't take long to find Alyssa the minute I got to school, standing there with her little brother outside the open gate, leading into the school. She always waited for me, so we could follow each other around.

She saw me coming, and she smiled.

"You should have come to school yesterday." She told me as I made it to her side, "Do you know how many kids barfed? It was awesome."

"They said yes. You can come over this Friday." I told her, and immediately she squeaked in happiness, hugging me, "Now you just have to ask your parents. They wouldn't have to take you, because I get picked up from school anyway, so you can just get a ride with me."

"That'd help." She nodded, "I'll ask my dad tonight."

She couldn't ask until that night, and I hadn't thought to get her phone number, so all Wednesday night I was bugged by it.

Sleeping Wednesday night without the pill was a disaster. Not because of dreams, for once, but I knew they'd have been there if I could fall asleep at all, and that worried Carlisle about dependence. I was up, wide awake pretty much all night.

Thursday, Alyssa told me that she'd gotten permission.

I didn't know why I looked forward to this so much, even despite my nighttime problems, but I did. I couldn't wait. Even if she did annoy me with her stupid crush, I didn't care. Even Josh and Zack had never stayed the night at my house before.

Thursday night went about the same as Wednesday night went, sleepless and restless. I did get a few hours of sleep, though, before forcing myself awake in a sobbing panic. It was better than the one or two hours I'd been getting before, but sliding right back into the same routine I'd been in before wasn't a good thing, either.

Friday afternoon took forever to get there, and I was surprised that it was Carlisle to pick us up. He'd been so busy lately. Instead of the front seat, I climbed into the back seat with her. Once I introduced them, she greeted Carlisle politely, thanking him for allowing her to come over. She might have been a weirdo, but she knew how to make a good impression.

She seemed intimidated by the size of the house at first, though. Standing outside of it, clutching her backpack to her as I climbed out behind her. In her backpack was a set of pajamas and extra jeans. She'd brought them to school, just because it was easier that way.

"It's okay." I told her, laughing a little, "Come on."

"How big did you say your family was?" She whimpered behind me as I led her to the door.

"About as big as your family." I replied, pushing the door open.

The introductions inside went well, and that made it better. Having Alice and Esme there seemed to helped her breathe while seeing Emmett again, and meeting Jasper. Like some sort of balance. Rose was her intimidating self, but I told her before we even got there not to mind her.

Esme seemed only too pleased to meet her. It was borderline embarrassing, but I knew better. The fact that she approved of Alyssa made me happy.

I led her upstairs to my room, and she looked around. Her eyes wide.

"This is your room?"

"Yup." I replied, setting my bag down, "You can put your stuff anywhere." She slowly, almost uncertainly laid her backpack down beside the dresser, "What's wrong?"

"I've never seen a room this big before." She replied, and I smiled a little, sitting down on my bed, "You never talk about your house, so I definitely wasn't expecting this. So.. This is your room?" I gave her a look, "Like.. Where you sleep and stuff?"

"That's.." I hesitated, "What a bedroom is for, isn't it? Sleeping?"

"Are you sure this isn't.. I don't know, a museum or something?"

"Pretty sure." I replied. This was getting funny.

"You even have your own bathroom?" She sounded oddly like I'd just killed her pet gerbil as she spotted the bathroom door.

"I'm sorry?" I offered, hoping an apology would be what she was looking for.

"That's it." She said, "I'm moving in." I laughed.

"I wouldn't mind. It gets lonely sometimes." I admitted quietly, hoping that made it less amazing. It seemed to as she gave another glance around the room.

"I bet." She nodded a little. Her pointed laugh had me look to her again. She pointed to the stuffed turtle sitting on my dresser.

"Yeah." I laughed, "That's him." I was surprised she even remembered the story about that thing.

"He's famous." She said, picking it up.

"Just with you." I replied, "You should feel lucky you get to meet him."

"You don't have any brothers or sisters your age, huh?" She asked, coming over. She tossed the turtle to me lightly.

"Nope." I said, "It's just me." I caught the turtle easily, petting its fluffy shell.

"Just you?" She found that funny, "Don't you ever get bored?"

"Not really." I said, "Emmett keeps me company when I let him. He's like a big kid. Alice does too, but Emmett doesn't insist on fixing my hair or making me go shopping. I swear, I tripled the amount of clothes I had in the first two weeks of summer."

Her eyes widened.

"Hey, if anything in that closet there fits you, take it. Please." I thought Alice would appreciate that, "Especially the dresses. I'll pay you to take those. I have some money saved, and it's yours if you just take them."

"I hate dresses." We both said that at the same time, causing us both to laugh.

"I'll look later." She laughed, but she did seem interested. I wouldn't mind her taking some stuff home with her if the clothes got some use.

"Okay." I replied, "Alice loves shopping. Me, not so much. You're lucky you don't have an older sister."

"What are you talking about?" She laughed, "I'd love to have an older sister. You don't even know how many times I've wished Sammy's thingy would fall off." I assumed Sammy was the name of one of her older brothers. I cringed, but laughed.

"Ew." I muttered.

"It's true." She shrugged. This conversation was getting weird.

"I don't think he'd like that very much." I pointed out.

"Probably not."

"And brothers are just as fun." I shrugged, "At least Emmett is, but then again, I'm not really a girly-girl."

"Neither am I, but it'd still be nice." She flopped back, with a sigh, "Me and Emily are pretty outnumbered over there, and she's not much company."

"What about your mom?" I asked, "She has to count for something, right?" She laughed, but the sound was humorless. Sensitive subject, obviously.

We were quiet for a second, until she rolled over onto her side and propped her head up on her elbow, "So you're telling me that even though you're not related to them, you don't think they're even a little cute?" Oh, the discussion was going to go in this direction.

"Stop it." I rolled my eyes and she laughed. If she only knew they could hear her every word if they wanted to. If she knew, she'd shut up pronto. No doubt about that.

"Not even a little?" She held her fingers up, and I laughed a little at her expression.

"No." I said, "Not even a little. That's gross."

"Okay, so not them, but isn't there anyone you've got a crush on?" She asked, letting her hand drop.

"Nope." I mumbled, and she laid back down.

"Not even Alex?" The thought alone was enough to make me cringe.

"No." I told her, disgust in my tone, "Ew."

"I can't blame you, I guess." She laughed, "What about.. Justin? You know, that brown haired kid in our class? He's always looking at you. I think he likes you."

"Nope."

"Tommy?"

"Nuh-uh." I shook my head.

"Ethan?" She asked, "Even I like him a little."

"Nope."

"Come on." She whined, "Even my little sister gets crushes."

"She's five." I muttered, surprised.

"She still does." She countered, "It's funny to hear how much she loves some boy in her class. Different one every day, I swear."

"That's weird." I commented, shaking my head.

"Is there something wrong with you?" She poked my head, and I swatted at her hand, "Maybe you're broken."

"I know I am." I told her, "Doesn't mean I have to like somebody."

"I'll fix you one of these days." She glared a little, and I sighed, flopping a pillow over her head. She laughed, grabbing it, "No fair."

She was quiet for a second as she studied me.

"Maybe you just don't like boys?" She suggested, and that confused me.

"Huh?" I asked, "What do you-"

"Nothing wrong if you like girls." She shrugged, and I about died where I sat, "Jamie likes girls. She told me awhile ago." The embarrassment scorched my cheeks. She really thought that?

I knew the girl she was talking about. Jamie was actually one of the nicest people in class. Not just to a few certain people, like everyone else. She was nice to everyone, and everyone liked her.

"No." I said, stunned, "No, no. That's not it." I didn't have anything against Jamie or anyone else who liked girls the way Alyssa was meaning, but I wasn't one of them. I sat there for a moment, "Jamie likes girls?" That thought blew my mind. I had no idea.

"Yup." She confirmed, "And I think you'd know if you did too."

"How do you know?" I wondered.

"The way she explained it to me," She muttered, sitting up, "Is she feels the same way about girls as other girls feel about boys. It just happens."

"Oh." I replied, and I shook my head, "No, that's not it."

"Okay, so that's not it." She mused.

"I just don't like anyone." I muttered, "What's so wrong with that?"

"Nothing, I guess." She replied, "Maybe you just haven't met the right kind of boy? Maybe you're picky."

"Sure." I mumbled, "That's definitely it."

"What kind of boys do you like?" She asked, and I shrugged a little.

"I don't know." I sighed, slightly irritated, "Aren't they all the same? Boys are just boys." This conversation had taken a very weird turn.

"Nope. Not even close." She said immediately. She sighed a laugh, "You have a lot to learn, my friend. And I'm gonna teach you."

"You really don't have to." I said, standing up.

"Yeah, I do." She replied incredulously, "You can't go your whole life without liking somebody. The world would blow up."

"So who do you like, then?" I turned it around on her, and she grinned. She obviously had someone in mind, but I quickly caught on. "No. Never mind, don't tell me. I don't wanna know."

She laughed, knowing what I meant, "No." She found that very amusing, given the way she couldn't breathe. Finally, she gathered herself, "No. You know Ryan? He's in Mrs. Elder's class." The fifth grade class in the classroom next to ours.

"Um.." I frowned, thinking, "That short kid with the light brown hair? Freckles everywhere?"

"No, that's Brian." She shook her head, "I'll show him to you on Monday." I nodded a little.

"There's Victor." She mused, "I like him too, but not as much as Ryan." Victor was in our class, so I knew him. He sat in the seat in front of her, so she lucked out there.

"You like two boys?" I asked.

"You can like more than one." She defended herself with a laugh, "It's only bad if you already have a boyfriend."

"You can't have a boyfriend." I frowned.

"Shianne has a boyfriend." She countered, "Daniel. They're always together."

I scoffed, "Right."

"I want a boyfriend." She sighed, and I couldn't help noticing that she spoke about wanting a boyfriend the way most kids wanted a puppy.

"I don't." I muttered.

"Why not?" She asked, "Well, I guess it's different if you don't like anybody, but you'd want one too if you did."

"No I wouldn't." I replied, "That's just weird."

Finally moving from where I stood and stepping across the room, I remembered my candy supply was horribly depleted. The bottom right drawer of my dresser held my candy stash, but I knew I'd have to get more if I was going to survive the night.

I pursed my lips, and thought about the boy at the store I met earlier in the week. I frowned a little, looking back at Alyssa.

"What?" She asked, thinking something was wrong.

"You wanna see if we can go for a walk?" I asked, and she smiled.

"Sure."

Esme was hesitant, as the afternoon was still bright.

"We'll go there, and come right back. I know right where it's at." I didn't want to mention that there were other stores like it closer. I had no doubt they knew, but they didn't say anything. I only wanted to go see that boy. I wanted to show him to Alyssa, just so I knew I wasn't crazy.

I couldn't deny it, though. They looked alike. Their black hair, and though his eyes, from what I remembered, were a little darker than hers, I could recall a big similarity. A very big similarity.

With an eventual okay, and a stern warning to stay together, we left. Leaving through the back door, we climbed over the wall. Her eyes lit up as she saw the steep grassy hill.

"Wait." She said as I went to start my way down, "Like this."

I watched, confused as she laid down flat on her back on the grass, and tucked her arms to her chest. I watched her roll, gaining speed as she quickly tumbled down the hill like a barrel, until she slowed as the ground evened out.

I was tempted to try it, but I was too scared, so I followed her at a much slower pace. Letting her dizziness fade by the time I got to her at the bottom of the hill, right outside the park.

"You're crazy." I laughed, helping her to her feet. She just laughed, brushing off her clothes. Bits of drying grass stuck to her shirt and jeans, but she had a bunch in her hair. I laughed again, plucking a few pieces from her hair, and she got the hint. Shaking her hair out.

"You have to try that sometime." She told me, grinning, "You live on such a great hill."

"I know." I laughed a little as we started through the park. My smile slowly faded, and I thought. Curious, I spoke again, "Tell me about your family."

She frowned a little, "What do you want to know? You already know that I have four brothers, and one sister." She answered, and I nodded a little.

"Real, or adopted?"

"All real." She said, looking around. Meaning, biological.

"Do you live in a huge house?" I had to ask.

"Not really." She shook her head, "No, my daddy's job don't let him afford much, but that's okay. Mama works too, but she's always gone. Emily and me share a room with one of the boys, just for more space for the other boys in the other room. There's only three bedrooms, and ours is the smallest." I frowned.

"Wow." I murmured, "That must really suck." Now I knew why she was so amazed by where I lived, and my bedroom.

"Nah." She said, "We're all pretty close. The the oldest out of all of us, he's almost eighteen, and he dropped out of school so he could work with daddy at his job." I listened, intently interested, watching as she smiled, "The second oldest of us is my favorite. He's sixteen. He sort of watches out for all of us. Takes care of us, and he makes sure we know it. He works too, but he still goes to school. The third oldest, he's only thirteen, but he's already following daddy around like he's trying to prove something. I just know he's gonna be another Jonathan." That must have been her oldest brother, considering how that seemed to bother her, "Then there's me. You know Alex, and Emily is five."

"What's it like being an older sister?"

"It's tough." She nodded a little, "I mean, there isn't a lot I get to do at home, because there are others even older than me, and they're sort of boss." I nodded in understanding, "But there are some things I can do. I smack the younger ones around sometimes, and stick up for them at school. We fight sometimes, but we're always together."

She seemed happy to be able to talk about this. Like she never got enough attention from anybody. This was the most I'd ever gotten out of her regarding her family, though. Normally she carefully avoided the subject, but something about being here must have helped that.

"Just.." I paused, "Curious, what are your brother's names?"

"Why?" She asked, laughing a little.

"Just curious." I repeated, "I want to know."

We had crossed the park in no time it seemed, and we'd started up the street. Crossing with everybody else, she finally looked up and around.

"Wait." She mumbled instead of answering, "I know where we are." I looked over at her, "I didn't notice it before, but yeah. I know right where we are, and if I'm right," She grew the widest grin I think I'd ever seen her have, "He'll be there."

"Who?" I asked, and she laughed.

"My brother." She said, "I want you to meet him." Could this be the same guy? I almost stopped walking as she led the way now, straight for the store I'd been in a week ago. Had I been right?

I wasn't so sure now, but seeing me slow down, she just took my arm and led me forward. She never lost her grin, pulling open the door for me and practically shoving me through it. Following me closely enough to keep pushing me forward. The door jingling, irritated, as she struggled through it behind me

Looking around, I spotted the boy I'd run into at the start of the week. He seemed so surprised to see us.

"Alyssa?" It was definitely him, "What are you doing here?"

"This is your brother?" I asked her, and she grinned. Ignoring my question.

"Remember my friend from school?" She asked the boy, smiling over at me.

"This is her?" He laughed, "Well, small world. Nice to see you again, Leandra."

"She blushes!" Alyssa laughed as well, and I rolled my eyes. Turning to step into the candy aisle. Listening to her talk to him behind me, "I've never seen her blush before."

"No, I don't." I corrected sharply.

"You blushed last time too." He told me, and I scoffed. I was still trying to get used to the idea. This was her brother. Why was that so hard to believe? Maybe because I knew her long before I met him? That didn't make it seem so weird.

"Leandra, this is Mikah." Alyssa finally said with a quiet giggle, "My brother."

"I'm still not going to steal anything." I grumbled, and I knew he heard me, "Alyssa, what kind do you want?" She jogged over to my side, "Any kind."

"Hmm." She scanned the shelves, unable to really decide like I'd been undecided the other day.

"This one." She suddenly said, grabbing a bag at the same time. I laughed a little at her enthusiasm, and nodded. Grabbing something else, I walked over to the register with her.

"Oh, nice." Mikah chuckled, "Get her all hopped up on sugar, and send her back?"

"I'm not worried." I replied.

"You should be." He shook his head a little but didn't seem too worried himself.

We actually wound up staying for a few minutes. I was trying so hard to figure this out, but though I never had any sort of familiarity with Alyssa, I definitely felt it with Mikah. Mikah. That was his name.

I leaned on the counter, as Alyssa sat on it. Since there weren't any other customers, we could do that. I tried to be discreet about how I studied him, but a few times he caught me, and I had to look down.

"Hey." Alyssa suddenly perked up, "Wanna see my house, Leandra? It's like four blocks-"

"No, Aly." Mikah spoke up, "Dad's there." And that suddenly smashed her enthusiasm. She grew worried, which worried me.

"Who's watching Em?" She asked.

"She'll be alright." He told her, "Don't worry so much about her. Just have fun tonight, okay? I'll get home after seven. Like I usually do."

"But seven is still like three hours away."

"She'll be alright." He repeated, "You're too young to be such a mom."

"Then you're too young to be such a dad." She countered.

"Not true." He replied, "I was six when your butt was born. That makes me boss of you."

"Uh-huh." She rolled her eyes, "Yeah, yeah."

"Let me do my job." He chuckled, lightly pushing her off the counter. She hopped to her feet.

"You can't be a mom and a dad." She countered, and he smiled, "I get to be the mom. That's how it works."

"Not for tonight, you don't." He told her, "Now you guys better scoot before it gets dark. I don't want that big brother beating me down."

"Emmett's nice." Alyssa told him before I could, "Isn't he?"

I nodded, "All I'd have to tell him is that you're her brother, and he'd calm down. Maybe." I added that last word on, hoping to scare him a little. From his expression, it worked.

"Come on." I urged Alyssa, and she sighed heavily. I took the bag in my hand and led her from the store.

"See you tomorrow, guys." Mikah called after us, and I glanced back. One last look, before following Alyssa outside. Her knowing smile over at me made me uncomfortable.

"What?" I asked, nervous.

"You like my brother." She pointed out, and I immediately shook my head, "Oh, don't deny it. You look at him like I look at Ryan." She started off back in the direction of the park, but I waited. She looked back at me, frowning a little in confusion.

"Let's go check on her." I suggested, and she jumped at the mention. Following the sidewalk up the street. I knew I'd get into trouble, but I wanted to ease her worries.

It didn't take long to get to her house from the store, easily within walking distance. She'd lived so close, and I didn't even know it.

She lived on a street with each side packed with what looked like different colored brick townhouses. Thin, compact two story houses squeezed together, and what looked like a larger apartment building down at the other end of the dead-end street, made from the same brick as these buildings were.

She led me to the right one, and up the three front steps from the sidewalk. Up the walk, and up the three more steps onto the porch. Nervously, I followed. She seemed nervous too, giving me a look that told me so, before pushing open the door.

Immediately, I heard the sound of kids arguing to the left of the entryway. Straight ahead of us as we walked in were the stairs, and a thin hallway to the left of the stairs that led to the back of the house. My first thought of the place was cramped. Crowded, and I hadn't even left the front door yet.

She turned, letting me in the door and closed it behind me.

"Come on." She muttered quietly, leading me to the left. Through a wide open doorway, was the living room. Crowded with only a few pieces of furniture, and a small TV turned on in the corner.

Alex stood there arguing with a tiny girl. This must be Emily. I'd never met her, despite going to the same school as all of them. Apparently, by the sounds of their arguing, Alex was stupid and Emily was a moron.

"Knock it off." Alyssa's voice took their attention instantly, and Emily grinned. Alyssa hugged onto her as Emily crossed the room, coming to her side, "Are you doing alright?"

"Why do you always ask me that?" Emily rolled her eyes, "I'm tough, remember?"

"So tough." Alyssa replied sarcastically, "Emily, this is Leandra. My friend I told you about." She smiled up at me in greeting, as if nothing in the world was wrong. I smiled back a little, hoping she kept her distance.

I was seeing plenty of things wrong here. The place was practically falling apart. It looked so sad. It reminded me a lot of the trailer I grew up in, but that was only me living there. Well, me, Jack, and my mom. I couldn't imagine five others there with me.

"Dad yelled at her earlier." Alex reported, sighing, "Wasn't that bad, and she deserved it." That took my full attention, and I looked to Alyssa. I was standing back, observing the way I usually did. Compiling a list of questions in my head that I'd ask her later.

"He upstairs?" Alyssa asked, glancing up as if she could see through the floor. Seeing Alyssa standing there, hugging Emily tight to her made me sad. I didn't understand why.

"No, he's out back with Sammy." Alex replied, "Off early, you know how it goes." Alyssa sighed, nodding, "Aren't you 'sposed to be gone for the night?"

"I had to check on you guys." She said, "Somebody's gotta, and Mikah's working until seven."

"Jon's out at work, too." Alex said, and she nodded.

"I knew that, stupid. Mom's still gone too, isn't she?" Alex nodded, answering her.

"When isn't she?" He asked in return, "I'll look out for Em. You two better go before he comes back in and finds out you're here. He'll be pissed."

"Okay." She sighed, kissing Emily on the top of her head, "Be nice to each other. Watch a movie or something. Don't stay up too late. Bed before ten."

"Yeah, yeah." Alex sighed, pulling Emily away from Alyssa's side.

"I mean it." She said, "Or you two will sleep all day tomorrow. And take a bath, because you smell like butt."

"What are shadows made out of?" Emily suddenly asked, and for a second, I was thrown off. How the hell did she come up with that question?

"Shadows are made of all the bad things you've ever done in your life." Alex answered, sitting down on the couch, "The more bad things you do, the darker and meaner your shadow gets, and if you do too many bad things, it'll eat you when you're sleeping."

The look on her face was priceless. I had to cover my mouth with both hands to keep from laughing out loud, but I doubt it would have mattered much because she started openly bawling seconds later.

"Alex, you buttface." Alyssa snapped, "Why'd you tell her that?" I was about to suffocate in my effort to keep from laughing, but it was useless.

"That was the best answer I've ever heard." I had to hand it to him, and he grinned at me.

"He was kidding, Em." Alyssa told her, "Don't listen to him. He made that up." She was terrified, which only made it funnier. That was the funniest thing since the turtle, and even slightly funnier.

"All she's gotta do is always do good things." Alex added over her crying, "And she'll be fine. Doing good things makes the shadow happy."

"Then you'd be so screwed." I gasped through laughter, which he joined in.

"Yeah." Alyssa said, looking to Emily, "If that was true, Alex would have been a goner a long time ago."

"What the hell did you do to her?" I looked over, finding an older boy. He reminded me a lot of Josh, maybe slightly taller. Given his approximate age, this was Sammy. The dark gray sleeveless shirt he wore looked to be one that used to have sleeves, but they'd been cut off at the shoulder. Not much older than us, but definitely a few inches taller.

"Hit Alex for me." Alyssa sighed, "We have to go."

"Who's your friend?" He asked, looking me over.

"Leandra, this is Sammy." I'd been right, "Sammy, this is Leandra. Now can we go?"

"Sure." Sammy muttered, prying loose Emily's grip from around her stomach, "Get out of here. Dad's coming in in a minute."

"Don't listen to Alex." Alyssa told Emily before we quickly scrambled for the door. Her grip on the sleeve of my shirt tugged me along with her. I was still laughing hysterically over Alex's torment of Emily, so I was grateful for her help.

Thankfully, we made a clean get-away before we got caught, and started back in the direction we needed to go. It was clear to me that she hated leaving them. It took me quite a distance before I could calm down.

"Alyssa," I finally spoke once we'd rounded the corner, "What are your parents like?" She stayed quiet, glancing to me.

"Let's hurry." She said, "I don't want to get you into trouble."

As it turned out, I was already in a little trouble when we got home. For not coming right back when I said I would. I couldn't think of a convincing enough lie to tell Esme, so I just kept quiet. It wasn't that bad, to be honest. We were just a little later coming back than I said we'd be.

Thankfully, Alyssa explained exactly what happened, and that seemed to help.

"I didn't mean to get her into trouble." Alyssa told Esme, "I just had to check on them. Just to make sure they weren't killing each other. It was real close, so thought it'd be faster, but I guess I was wrong. She was with me the whole time, and I know my way around there, so she couldn't have gotten lost. I swear, though. I wasn't trying to get her in trouble. Honest. I'm really sorry."

Esme sighed, but nodded. Maybe it had something to do with the way Alyssa was nearly in tears, or the way I looked sadly up at Esme, but I wasn't sure.

"It really wasn't that far." I added, hoping to make Alyssa feel better, "Four blocks up the street from the store. That's it. We just walked slow on the way there."

"Alright." Esme sighed again, "Go on into the living room while I make dinner."

Grateful she wasn't going to press it anymore, we both nodded and scurried from the room.

Alyssa and I sat in the living room, watching TV for awhile as Esme prepared a light dinner. I couldn't stop thinking about her house. All those kids, and who was watching them? Why did that bother me so much?

It bothered me how protective she seemed to be of her little sister. Alex promised to watch her, but I just knew it wasn't to keep her from doing stupid shit.

"I wanna know." I muttered to her, and she kept her eyes on the TV.

"Later." She replied after a minute, and I nodded.

Alyssa didn't think anything of us eating by ourselves. Distracted now, and probably fully aware of how I glanced to her now and then. She probably knew what I was thinking now, and she wouldn't be wrong.

Once we finished dinner, I suggested we go out back. Just to talk with a hint of a chance of nobody listening in. It wasn't their fault they could hear so well, but I had a feeling whatever Alyssa would tell me would be private. I wanted her to trust me.

We stepped out back, and we both climbed over the wall, and sat on the other side of the wall, watching the park in the evening light.

We just sat out there for several minutes, watching the daylight fading even more.

"Leandra?" Esme called out behind us.

"We're still here." I called back, "We're not going anywhere." I was waiting for that. Maybe if she knew we had no intentions of leaving this spot, she wouldn't listen in.

"Alright." She replied, "Don't stay out here too long." Bingo. She'd leave us alone. Maybe listening for key words like, 'Let's go' or something, but that would be it. She was usually good at leaving me when I wanted to be alone.

Nudging Alyssa as soon as the door was closed, I stood up. She did so as well, so I led her halfway down the hill and sat on the grass. Maybe that would just be just far enough away to keep my family from involuntarily hearing anything. I could only hope.

"So?" I prompted quietly, "What's going on there?"

"Mom's gone a lot." She finally said in almost a whisper, "She comes back now and then, but when she does come back, she's always drunk." I looked down, "She's not very nice when she's like that. Daddy, he tries, and he's there a lot more than she is, but he gets mad. A lot, and he yells. A lot. He doesn't mean to, I know that, but it's hard."

She paused, looking down at her feet braced against the grass.

"Mikah tells us he's under a lot of stress, with all of us to raise." I nodded a little, "Jon helps, and so does Mikah. They do what they can, but the rest of us are too young to get jobs, and I know enough to know that what all of them make isn't enough sometimes. They fight a lot, my mom and dad, and Mikah tells us to always stay out of the way when they do that."

"You should." I nodded a little, "Grown-ups don't think when they're mad at each other."

"I know." She nodded too, "I'm not even worried about my mom. I hate her. I just hate the way he yells."

"I know how that feels." I admitted, nodding a little.

"I hate it, even when he's not yelling at me." She looked over, "You know? Just the sound of it at all. Sometimes I think about what he'd be like if he wasn't so stressed out all the time. He always says he's sorry, whenever he hits one of us, but-"

"Wait." I looked over at her, "He hits you?"

"Sometimes." She admitted quietly, "But you can't tell anyone, okay? It's not that bad. Really, it's not."

"Alyssa-"

"It's not that bad. I mean, how often have you seen me with bruises?" And I thought about it. The only bruise I remember ever seeing on her, was the one on her arm. But then again, I remembered how often and how far I went to hide my own bruises. I'd never seen any other than the hint of one on her arm, but I hadn't looked in the tell-tale spots.

"I don't have any from him. Like I said, he doesn't mean to, and normally, he doesn't. It's only now and then." There was something more there. I knew it, and I usually wasn't one to play down my instincts.

"I still think-"

"I mean it." I recognized instantly the tone of fear in her voice, "Please."

"Why?" I asked quietly, "Why won't you want to tell someone?"

"Because." She shrugged with a sigh, "If anyone knows about that, they'll take him, and they'll take us because he's gone. Jon says they'll split us all up, and we'll all go to different homes. Jon says he and Mikah are too old to be placed into a foster home, so who knows where they'll go? I don't want that."

I could understand her worry now. I sighed, shaking my head a little. I didn't like it, but I couldn't imagine how much harder it would have been for me to admit anything if I would have had to worry about a younger sibling getting sent away too.

"I'd rather put up with a few hits now and then, than have to worry about where my brothers and sister are." She whispered, "I don't know what I'd do without Mikah."

"Okay." I mumbled, "I won't tell, but you have to promise me that you'll tell me if he does it again, okay?"

"I promise." She nodded, sighing. I could only hope nobody inside heard that.

"Is that what happened to Alex's eye?" I asked, and she looked over, "After I came back, I noticed one of his bruises wasn't one I caused."

"You noticed that?" She asked, and I nodded.

"I know how to hit, and I know what bruises look like." I admitted quietly, "I never hit him that way." She paused, nodding at my explanation.

"No." She said, "That was mom. Alex pushed her for pushing Em, and he shouldn't have done that. Mikah wasn't there when that happened. It was an accident." Right.

I sighed. Both parents?

"Well," I mumbled, "Do you have another relative to live with? One that could take three of you?"

"No." She mumbled, "It's just us. Mikah says when he moves out, he's taking us with him, but that's not for another year at least, and even then, there's no guarantee he can keep us."

We fell quiet for a minute. My head was spinning. I had no idea, but it certainly explained how quickly I took to her. She was more like me than I thought. I couldn't imagine what it'd have been like if my mom had been mean too. It also explained why she was so protective of Emily. Emily was a tiny thing, and probably not nearly as sturdy as Alyssa or Alex were.

To my surprise, she smiled a little over at me.

"I've never told anyone that before." She pointed out, and I had to smile a little too. I remembered that feeling. However little, I'd helped her just now. Just by listening to what she said.

"Feels different, huh?" I mumbled, "I know that feeling."

"Now you." She urged, and I looked over, "I told you my story, now what's yours? Why are you living with a foster family?"

"You really don't want to know that." I mumbled, shaking my head.

"It's only fair."

"No," I said, "It's not that I don't want to tell you. I just don't want to scare you."

"Scare me?" She frowned, "Is it really that bad?" I nodded a little, and she tilted her head a little, "Well, come on. I'm not that fragile."

"I just.." I paused, "I don't talk about it."

"Why not?" She asked, "Isn't that what they always say? Talking about it helps."

"I don't see how." I sighed, standing up. I climbed back over the wall, landing back in the yard. I wasn't worried about them hearing anymore. They already knew my story, so it was no big deal.

"Um." She hopped down beside me, "Maybe knowing someone's gonna listen? Duh."

"Maybe later." I sighed, "Let's go back inside. I'm getting cold."

"Sure." She mumbled, and I knew she wouldn't press. She had to know how hard it was for me to even mention.

Esme acted as if nothing at all was wrong, and I eased. She acted like she never heard what Alyssa had told me, so I could breathe. The last thing I needed was for one of them to blab, and her blame me for telling. I couldn't tell Alyssa the truth. I couldn't tell her that if they wanted to, they could hear every word we said outside.

Somehow, my hair was done before eight that night. I was still confused as to how I agreed to it, but there it was. Braided pig-tails, courtesy of Alice who spent time with us in my room. I hated them with a passion, but it kept my hair from my face. Which was a big plus, at least.

They still annoyed the living hell out of me, however. I was so used to just leaving my hair down, so this left my neck bare.

Alice and Alyssa both chatted about boys, and my apparent lack of interest in them, which also annoyed me, but I figured why bug them? If it meant Alyssa could both relax from her time at her house, and experience what it was like to have an older sister, I'd keep my mouth shut. I wouldn't spoil it for her, or for Alice, who had more of a girly little sister for the night.

Alice eventually left us with a smile, mentioning how late it was. I smiled a little up at her.

Now alone, and with a small pile of candy in front of us, we started talking. I still wasn't used to eating much candy, so Alyssa had more than I did at first. I hoped she wouldn't bring up the previous subject again, but I should have known better.

"You're afraid of the dark?" She asked, but it wasn't in a teasing way. Mostly an observation. I glanced back behind me at the nightlight she'd noticed. I hesitated, embarrassed but she shook her head.

"I just recognize that." She said, gesturing to the nightlight in question, "No big deal. Emily is too."

"She's five." I grumbled, and she laughed.

"I won't tell anyone." She assured me, "Don't worry. It just surprises me, is all. I didn't think you were afraid of anything."

"There's plenty of things I'm afraid of." I admitted.

"You don't seem like it."

"I hide it."

"You're good at it." She commented, and I forced a small smile.

"Thanks." I sighed.

"Alex has to leave a light on too." She grinned, "But don't tell him I told you."

"Really?" I asked, surprised.

"Yup." She replied, "He says it's for Jon on the nights he comes home late from work, and just happens to forget it on every night, but that's a big fat lie."

"What about you?" I asked.

"Sometimes." She admitted, "If I stop and let myself get freaked out, it gets to me, but even if Emily didn't need a light on every night, I probably wouldn't be afraid to go to sleep."

"Why not?"

"Because I have Mikah there." She replied, "With him there, I'm not afraid of anything, and he's always home on time for bed." She paused, "Maybe that's why you're still afraid. Because you're up here alone."

"That's not it." I sighed, "Alice's room is right next door."

"It's not the same as having someone right there." She corrected, "In another room, it doesn't feel as safe as it would having somebody right there. For how it would feel, they might as well be on the moon."

We both fell quiet for a moment.

"I've had my own room my whole life." I reasoned, frowning, "Why would that suddenly bug me?"

"Well, how long have you been afraid of the dark?" She asked, "Your whole life? Maybe you should get a rabbit or something. Or maybe you should get a turtle, like Zack told you to how long ago?"

"What's a turtle gonna do?" I asked doubtfully.

"Give you something to look at besides the dark."

"I don't know." I sighed, "My luck, it'll die from some random turtle disease, and I'll feel like shit. I don't want a pet. Just stuffed ones, like this." Plucking it from the foot of the bed, I plopped the stuffed turtle down in front of us, "Ones I can't hurt or kill, and ones that can't hate me."

"Turtles don't hate anything." She frowned, "I mean, I don't think they do. I've never heard a turtle complain."

"I hurt everything I touch." I grumbled, and she looked over at me, "I've always been that way, though. For about as long as I've been afraid of the dark."

She fell quiet, glancing down. I didn't blame her for not knowing what to say, but to my surprise, she did speak.

"You haven't hurt me." She offered, "I don't think you ever could." That didn't help much, but the effort did. I smiled a little and she returned it.

Another minute or so of silence passed. I couldn't help thinking, though. She did have a point about being lonely. Loneliness and being afraid went hand in hand, which was something I hadn't noticed before.

"So.." She hesitated, "I heard you got into some trouble on Tuesday."

I frowned, "How'd-" I cut myself off, and she laughed a little, "Right. Mikah."

"You really shouldn't wander off." I gave her a look, and we both laughed, "Really, though. When he told me about it, I didn't know it was you he was talking about. I thought it was someone else, because he never named names, but see? I knew you were human."

"What do you mean?"

"You like him." She replied.

"No I don't." I muttered, looking down.

"Yes you do." She laughed, and to my surprise, it took every single bit of my effort not to smile. She caught that, though. "You can't lie to me, you know, but don't even worry. I won't tell him or anything, but you have to admit it."

"Admit what?"

"You know what." She was incredibly entertained, "Admitting it is the first step, I hear."

"First step for what?" I asked.

"No clue." She muttered, "But I heard it, so you have to." She sighed, but continued, "Mikah's my best friend, no offense to you." I allowed a laugh and shook my head. No offense taken. She smiled, "Maybe you can just tell that about people. That they're good."

"Maybe." I allowed that, "But nobody finds trouble like me, I guess." I shrugged a little.

"That reminds me." She muttered, unwrapping another piece of candy, "You still have to tell me." I sighed, flattening out my own wrapper on the floor in front of me. Well, I figured, she would need an explanation for why I freaked out during the night or had to take a pill to sleep. I still didn't know which would be worse.

But telling her, though. I whined, falling back. Thumping my head a little on the floor. It was a little more than just being afraid of the dark. No doubt she'd find that out tonight.

"Come on." She said, "It can't be that bad, can it?"

"You can't even imagine." I murmured, staring up at the ceiling.

"What are you so afraid of?" She asked, crawling over and sitting beside me.

"I don't know." I admitted, sighing, "I just.. It's a lot. I don't like talking about it."

"So was mine." She reasoned.

"Not like this." I said, "Trust me."

"It's worse?"

"That's what I'm saying." Her eyes widened a little, and she bit her lip.

"But you said your daddy never hit you."

"He didn't." I countered, and she frowned. More confused, until I spoke again, "My stepdad did. Everyday. Every chance he got." I closed my eyes so I wouldn't have to see her expression, "And he didn't just hit me. He beat me."

"What's the difference?"

"Well." I sighed, sitting up. I knew she was just curious, "Hitting is usually once or twice. A smack here or there, right?" She waited, "Beating is where they hit you as hard as they can, over and over, and they don't stop until they're tired." Her eyes widened even more, "That's what he did."

"Oh." She muttered, "I didn't know that. I didn't think there was a difference."

"Yeah." I said, "There's a difference. A big difference."

"Getting hit isn't as bad as being beaten." She murmured, and I shook my head. She nodded, and looked down. I sensed the increased tension, and looked closer.

"So." She continued before I could look too close, "Then what happened?" She asked, "Is there a reason why you got taken away?"

"Someone found out," I murmured, refusing to go into too much detail, "And that's it."

"Did you have a choice?" She asked, "To leave?"

"No." I said, "I mean, I tried to deny it, but I couldn't for very long. That's a long story there."

"And um.." She hesitated, looking down at her hands, "When he'd beat you, would you ever bleed?"

"Sometimes." I muttered, "Sometimes where he'd hit would split the skin, but not really. Mostly just bruises or something. He was usually more careful than that. Why?"

"And instead of just a bruise, you got something like-"

"A welt?" I suggested in a whisper, and she echoed me. She met my gaze, nodded wordlessly. I narrowed my eyes. Piecing it together, I realized what she was telling me, "You lied. Earlier."

"I didn't mean to." She mumbled, "I really didn't know there was a difference."

I felt like concrete had just balled in my stomach. She wasn't only getting hit, but beaten? I would have been so sure I would have known what to look for, but she was so different. It shook me, looking at her now.

She was in the same situation I had been in, but she hid it so much better than I did. How was that possible? Maybe it had something to do with her family. Having someone worth staying strong for was the major difference between her and I.

"Both of them?" I asked, again in a whisper, and she looked down.

"Just sometimes." She whispered in return. I was a little glad she knew to be discreet, without knowing why we were whispering. Maybe because she knew Alice's room was next to mine.

"Other times?"

"Just her." She muttered, "Most of the time-"

I hated having to do this, "Shh." She frowned a little, "Not here." She didn't seem mad, but gave a glance around. Confused, but not asking.

"Okay." I mumbled eventually, "It's okay."

"You're not mad?"

"No." I said, "I'm not mad. I'm just.. Let's just.. I don't know what to do." I obviously didn't know what to say, either. This was hard to process. I didn't know where to even begin to think about it.

"You can't tell." She said, "You promised."

"That was before." I said, and she shook her head.

"You still promised." She said, "Leandra, I can't lose my brother and sister. They need me." I whined, hesitant now.

"At least let me see." I mumbled, kneeling up and facing her a little more.

"Show you?" She asked, and I nodded. She turned around, and lifted the back of her shirt over her back.

"Yeah." I sighed, "That looks familiar." It saddened me.

There, on her back, plain as day evidence that what her parents did was more than hitting. She was right. It wasn't just a bruise. Though it wasn't near as bad as what I used to have to deal with, it still wasn't pretty. Five, or six, maybe ten overlapping, dark and thin welts raised along her back in a definite belt's width.

It reminded me painfully of how I lived every day, and it made me sick to think someone else was going through it. I was regretting promising what I had promised as I kneeled back again.

"It's not so bad." She told me, "Really."

"Don't lie to me." I muttered. I knew it was a lie. I'd felt that before, "Which one?" I gestured to her back.

"My mom." She sighed, looking down.

"That's why you said that you didn't have any from him." I recalled and she nodded, "I'm still an expert at dodging the truth without lying."

She sighed again, turning to face me. I couldn't do it. It made me so sick. I wasn't mad at her. How could I be? I was furious at her parents. How could anyone..

"Leandra-"

"Does Mikah know?" I asked quietly.

"He knows." She replied, "That's why he's trying so hard to get out, but it's taking awhile."

"Why doesn't he just stop it?"

"You've never met my dad." She shook her head. I also remembered that feeling quite well. Taking a deep breath, I huffed it out. Looking down in thought. It was so strange to think that someone living on the opposite side of the country could be living with so many similar things as I had been living with just a few months before. And finding her, somehow tolerating her obnoxious happiness just to make it to now.

"What about Jon?" I asked, and she gave me a look.

"Yeah, right." She muttered and I winced a little, looking back down, "Believe me, I've thought of everything you can think of. If I didn't have Alex and Em to think about.." She trailed off, and I knew what she meant. She'd have been long gone. She felt such an intense responsibility for them that she was stuck.

Eventually, I sighed.

"Let's not talk about this anymore tonight, okay?" I offered quietly, "You're supposed to be having fun. It hasn't been fun for either of us for the last hour." She nodded, understanding. Taking a deep breath along with me, sighing just the same way I did.

The truth was, I saw her differently. We both learned things about each other tonight that would either make us closer friends, or end our friendship completely. It really depended on how we both acted toward each other for the rest of the night.

Which turned out to be not at all different than how we usually treated each other.

I wasn't even sure how it happened, but we wound up downstairs on the computer half the night. Watching videos online. Funny ones. Mostly of people doing stupid things and hurting themselves. The language wasn't exactly ideal, but that wasn't the only thing we found funny.

Emmett sat in with us, probably just to make sure we weren't watching anything with boobs in it, but he found a lot of what we watched funny too, so I knew he wasn't bored.

It was probably more of how hard we laughed at some of these things that he found entertaining, though. The way he watched us instead of the screen confirmed it.

We were in the middle of a good laugh when Jasper got home, coming up the hall to see what all the laughter was about. That meant it had to be after eleven, but we were way too wide awake to go to sleep. Having taken our candy with us, we had something to munch on and keep us wired.

As entertainment, Jasper stuck around to watch too. Several times, we actually had to pause it, or we'd miss something. My stomach actually hurt from laughing so much, and Alyssa was crying with it. It was a good distraction from the earlier events of the night, and I didn't want to let it go.

"No more candy after eight." Emmett finally chuckled, "After this, it's bed time."

We got him to agree to one more, managing to stay there long enough for Carlisle to get home.

"Is that really appropriate?" Carlisle asked from the doorway, no doubt concerned about the not-so-pure language, and Emmett beside us looked back.

"I figured what could it hurt." Emmett replied over our laughter, "I've lost count how many times they've both snorted."

"It's after midnight." Carlisle reminded us, "Once this is over, it's time for bed."

"Aww." We both whined at the same time.

"I'm not tired." I pointed out.

"Me neither." Alyssa added.

"Now I know why Mikah warned me about giving you candy." I muttered to her.

"Me?" She laughed, "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"They know." Emmett finally replied to Carlisle, "I'll carry them upstairs if I have to." Giving a nod, Carlisle smiled a little, leaving the room.

Just as he said he'd do, Emmett carried us, still laughing, from the room. Up the short hallway, and up the stairs. Me over one shoulder, Alyssa over the other. I couldn't help vaguely noticing how she was the only other person I was fine with him picking up. Lily, I had a problem with, but not Alyssa. I wasn't too focused on that.

"Wait!" I laughed, "I'm hungry again."

"Aw, come on, shorty." Emmett chuckled as I rolled, fighting from his grip. He let me down onto my feet so I didn't wiggle myself free enough to hit the floor face first. I probably would have just found that funny as hell.

"I wanna go to bed." He called after me as I sprinted up the hall. Lie. Laughing at my new found freedom, I knew if anybody actually had been sleeping, they weren't anymore.

"Run, Leandra!" Alyssa called behind me, "Save yourself!"

"I'll never forget you!"

That freedom was short lived, as Jasper caught me next. Scooping me up, and flinging me over his shoulder right at the top of the stairs. This was completely unexpected, considering his distant nature lately, but I wasn't complaining. He was careful with me, but unfortunately, he was only aiding Emmett in getting us to my room.

"Drat!" I called, kicking a little and listening to Alyssa's laughter behind me.

"Shut up out there." Rose called from one of the rooms. That had us fall silent for about six seconds flat, until we burst out laughing again.

We were both deposited on my bed, laying where we were lightly dropped.

"What was in that candy?" Jasper asked, obviously amused.

"I don't know, but I like it." Alyssa didn't miss a beat. I actually rolled a little with the laughter this time. She looked at me, laughing as well, "Are you gonna make it?"

"No." I replied, "I think I'm dying."

"Good night." Emmett chuckled pointedly, "Go to sleep."

"But I'm not tired." I looked up at him, "I don't want to sleep."

"Good night." He repeated, shaking his head and closing my door behind him and Jasper.

We laid there for several minutes, calming down. She sighed heavily, the silence dragging on while we rested and caught our breath.

"I hope Emily is okay." She finally said, "I haven't been away this long before."

"I'm sure she's alright." I mumbled, rubbing my stomach through my shirt with a yawn, "She probably forgot all about that shadow thing already."

She looked over at me, "You haven't been five in awhile, have you?"

"Too bad there isn't a way to check on her, you know?" She stayed quiet for a moment, before she sat up a little.

"Think they're asleep yet?" Alyssa asked, looking over at me, and I shrugged. I doubted it. It was impossible.

"Dunno." I replied, "Why?" She immediately threw herself off the bed, sneaking to the door and opening it silently. Creeping out into the dark hallway before I said something, "What are you doing?"

"Come on." She whispered, and I wasted no time. Following her out into the hall, it was very dark without any sort of light besides my open door behind me. For a brief second, my overwhelming fear of the dark tried to make me stop, but I kept going. Distracted, and not wanting her to wander around the house alone.

I assumed that she just wanted to get something from the kitchen. I wasn't against the idea myself, though. Maybe something to drink, or a smaller snack. Just to balance the amount of sugar making my stomach ache.

"Be careful." I warned in a whisper at the top of the stairs, "Don't fall."

"I am." She replied, and I kept close behind her as we descended the stairs. One step at a time, holding on and carefully feeling our way down the stairs until we reached the first floor.

"It's so creepy down here in the dark." She pointed out.

"I know." I whispered back, "We should have brought a light or somethi-" I hit my toes on the coffee table leg, letting out a heated whispered word, "Shit!" She immediately started laughing as silently as she could. Quiet giggles behind her hand clamped over her mouth, "I found the table."

"Wait there." She whispered after recovering, "I can see a little bit." And she moved away, but it puzzled me when she wasn't reaching for any lamp or light switch. I heard her moving over by the front door, and I waited by myself in the dark. I didn't know what she was doing until she was suddenly back beside me. Urging me forward.

Through the living room, into the kitchen, she handed me something bulky. My shoes?

"Huh?" I asked, confused, and I remembered. We'd taken our shoes off earlier after getting back, and Esme put them there, but why would we need our shoes? Then I figured it out. She was out the second the door was open more than a few inches, slipping outside silently.

"Aw, no." I couldn't help it, "No. No."

"Shh."

With a whispered groan, I had to follow her out the back door, closing it as quietly as I could behind me. She slipped on her shoes, and was off running before I could even finish pulling on my second shoe. Only the moonlight to see by, I was freezing cold already. Watching her hop over the wall, and start down the hill toward the park.

"Wait!" I called under my breath, "Wait for me!"

Knowing how much trouble I was going to be in, I followed her anyway.

A/N: Oh boy. :D
I knoooow it's long (the longest chapter I think I've ever released), but I had to throw more conversation in there. Covering a lot of bases I basically ignored last time, which is pretty worth it, I think.
THANK YOU! To my reviewers! :D:D THANK YOU! THANK YOU! :D:D
Eight is a little more exciting than last time. Eight needed a lot of work, and I'm fairly pleased with how it came out. :D
Until Eight, my friends!