Chapter Ten
I knew crossing paths with Jack would reinforce those nightmares I always struggled with. I knew it'd make them stronger, harder to deal with, even if I never saw his face, but I hadn't anticipated just how much.
His voice, the way it sounded was difficult to shake off. There was no doubt in my mind that he knew I was there. He had to have known it was me. There was no way around it. He was here, and that was something I had to face.
I wandered down the stairs later that night, but unfortunately, Emmett wasn't in his usual spot on the couch. Of course, I couldn't exactly blame him, but I didn't want to be alone. I didn't see anyone.
"Leandra?" Alice had followed me. I looked back up the stairs as she descended them, "What are you doing out of bed?"
"I wasn't going to run off." I said, "I just couldn't sleep. I think I'm thinking too much."
"Well, that's bound to happen." She sighed, "Come on. I'll sit with you." I appreciated that. She led me back up the stairs, and right back into my room.
It was silent for several minutes, but I knew there was a lot she wanted to say. Even with sitting to my back to her. She brushed out my hair, which I didn't mind this time, because she didn't seem too interested in braiding it.
"Go ahead." I mumbled, "I know you're still mad at me."
"I'm not mad at you, Leandra." She replied, "Disappointed, but not mad. You don't know how fast things could have gone wrong for you today."
"I know." I sighed, keeping my eyes down, "But he just wanted to scare me."
"What if he hadn't just wanted to scare you?" She asked, "You wouldn't be sitting here right now."
"I know." I repeated with a sniffle.
"And what do you think that would have done to us?" She asked, and I finally turned a little to look at her, "Believe it or not, the consequences of a decision like that would be devastating. To all of us."
"Why?" I asked, "Wouldn't you be glad to be rid of me?"
"Of course not." She replied, surprised, "Leandra, I think you're still under the impression that you're somehow replaceable."
"A goldfish wouldn't run off." I pointed out.
"I hear goldfish die really easily." She replied, and even I found the humor in that, "Forget to feed them once or twice, and it's belly up." It wasn't often lately that she joked with me. She sighed, "You're just as much a part of this family as I am."
"I doubt that." I admitted quietly.
She frowned, "Why do you doubt that?"
"Nothing's the same anymore." I found myself answering. Finally, she got an answer, "And don't tell me that's not true, because I've seen it. It wasn't just moving here that got to me so bad. It was the way everything changed. I'm still getting used to that, but it's really hard to."
"How has anything changed?"
I took a breath, "I don't want to say. I don't want to sound like I'm blaming anyone. I'm not. I'm just.. Not used to everything changing so often, I guess. I've never had to deal with moving, or starting a new school, or getting used to the way things are different. Not even once, much less twice. I'm still getting the hang of changing with everything changing."
She sighed, hugging my shoulders from where she sat behind me.
"I am trying, though." I mumbled, allowing the contact, "It's just taking a little longer than I thought. I don't know what's wrong with me."
"There's nothing wrong with you." She countered.
"Yes there is." I replied, "There has to be. Even Carlisle's worried, but he doesn't get that the things I see in my head are normal to me. It's always been that way. What do you think bugged Edward so bad?
"I get by now that he was just mad at Jack, but that doesn't mean he had to have liked what he saw. He's mad at Jack for what he turned me into. I'm.." I hesitated, "Different. I'm not how I should be. I don't think the way I should. I was trying to keep anyone from finding that out, but that kind of flew out the window when Edward saw everything. Especially when we left. That just completely screwed me all up, and hiding it didn't seem as possible as it was before."
I took a breath, continuing, "Plus the way I can't even sleep on my own anymore. The pill makes me sleep too much. I sleep, yeah, but that doesn't stop my mind from torturing me. I just can't wake up from it, so I have to stick around to see everything I don't want to see."
"I know." She sighed, "I know you're trying. We all do. I just wish I knew how to help."
"I know killing me isn't an option." I mumbled, and she sighed again. Not at all pleased with that answer, but she wasn't going to say anything. I paused for a minute longer before I sighed as well.
"I don't mean to mess up so much." I admitted, "I went with Alyssa that night because I didn't want her to go anywhere alone, and sitting on her wouldn't have made her stay. She out-weighs me by like ten pounds."
"Leandra, you know you can talk to us about whatever is going on with her."
"I can't." I immediately replied, "It's her secret to tell. Not mine." That should have been a hint in itself, but she wasn't thinking that direction. "And I promised."
She shook her head, "But if it's bugging you this badly-"
"It's.." I hesitated, "It's hard to explain. Remember? Keeping secrets is what I do. You know me. I would have kept my own secret for a lot longer than I did if Jack didn't try to make me live with his dad. I never would have budged that easily."
"I just hope you know what you're doing." She replied, "You're only ten. You're just a baby."
"I'm not a baby." I muttered, slightly offended.
"Compared to me, you are." She countered, "You can't even imagine how much better life can get."
I sighed, shrugging a little, "Maybe not, but I'm not thinking about how much better life can get. I'm too busy worrying about how much worse it can get."
"Leandra, I don't want you thinking about things like that."
"I can't help it." I replied.
"So change your thoughts." She murmured.
"I've tried." I countered quietly, shaking my head, "I just think of something worse. It just gets worse and worse the harder I try to stop it. It's impossible."
"Then tell me." She said, "Tell me what you think about." I instantly looked down.
"That's even more impossible."
"You said that about telling us at all." She reminded me, "You can do it, if you'd just try."
"You don't get it." I mumbled, "I can't." She frowned, so I took a breath, "I don't know how. A lot of the things I have in my head are really hard to explain. Like I told Emmett awhile ago. It's very confusing in here. Everything that happened before in the vision, everything that happened in real life, and everything I can't see yet are all together.
"All these thoughts and memories mix together into one big thing that I can't describe very well. Some things I can talk about, but other things, I won't let myself talk about, but it's never just one thing. I can't talk about one thing without coming too close to talking about something else, and it never, ever stops. It's very confusing, and I wouldn't even know where to start telling someone else about it.
"And that's just that. Everything now, this time just adds to that, and sometimes, I can't handle it very well. There isn't enough room in my head for all of this.. Stuff. It's hard."
"You're way too young for this much stress, Leandra."
"Tell me about it." I muttered, "When it gets to be too much, I get mean and I yell, but I can't get too mean again. I don't want to feel what it's like to hurt like that again. I know I shouldn't think like that, but that really hurt, so I'm trying to be good. I promise I'm trying, but it's not easy."
"Why didn't you talk to all of us about this?" She asked, concerned.
"I don't like being this screwed up." I muttered, "I don't like telling anyone about it since I pissed Emmett off with it. That was the same day Carlisle told me I had to go to school."
"You've been suffering from this for this long, and you've not said anything?" She asked, "Why?"
"Because nobody can help me." I replied quietly, "If I can't even find the words to describe it, how can I tell anyone about it? Besides. I've been enough trouble." She hugged me again, and this time, I actually appreciated it.
"You don't mean it." She assured me, and I shook my head. I didn't mean to be mean, and it helped that she seemed to understand that. In all I'd done, nobody had told me that yet. I hadn't meant it. Not a word.
"I think it's going to take Rosalie some time before she forgives me." I mumbled, "I probably pushed it a little far with what I said to her."
"You wouldn't be wrong." She admitted quietly, "But I'll keep trying to talk to her for you."
"Thanks." I replied, "But she hasn't liked me since I showed up."
"That's not it at all." She told me, "It's just.. She's protective. Of her family, and having a human here, well.."
"I can't blame her." I shook my head, before I hesitated, "There's more to it, isn't there?"
"What do you mean?" She asked.
"I'm not stupid." I replied, "I notice the little things." She looked down.
"That certainly explains why you're so smart." She allowed, "Even with everything going on in your head, you still have room to notice and learn things."
"Don't ask me." I shrugged a little, "Just don't tell me how things haven't changed, because I know they have."
"You're talking about Jazz distancing himself."
"That's part of it."
"Leandra, he felt your fear that night." She replied, "It's been hard on him, to know you were so afraid of him. Not only that, but because of that slip up, you had to be uprooted. Brought here, away from where you were comfortable, and to see the way you're struggling so much.. That bothers him." She sighed, "And he's worried about another slip up like that. He's worried, and he's reluctant to trust himself around you. He'd never, ever forgive himself if you ever got hurt."
I looked down.
"I don't blame him." I replied, "I don't blame anybody. Shit happens, right?"
"Leandra." She corrected.
"Stuff happens, and sometimes, there's nothing we can do about it." I added, "Sometimes, things just are the way they are, and all we can do is just get used to it. I don't blame Jasper. I miss him."
That seemed to sadden her.
"I was never afraid of him, exactly." I added, "Everything was just happening so fast, and I didn't really know what to do. I was more afraid of being caught off guard like that. I get scared when something happens that I don't expect." She nodded, so I continued.
"I miss Emmett too." I admitted, "He's been distant too, but I never saw that one coming. I have no idea what I did to him."
"That's a long story." She sighed, "Trust me."
"Did I piss him off?" I asked.
"No." She replied, "No, it wasn't.. Really anything you did."
I didn't buy it, "What did I do?"
She hesitated for a moment, but eventually spoke again, "Do you remember what happened the day of your birthday party?"
"Yeah." I muttered, "I whacked Lily with a pillow."
"Do you remember why?" She asked.
"Uh.." I trailed off, thinking, "Because I was jealous?"
"You were possessive." She added, and I nodded. She waited, but I wasn't understanding. She smiled a little, "Think about it. He's not avoiding you, Leandra. He's been spending more time with Rosalie."
That helped.
"Oh, she's jealous of me?" I asked, surprised, "Really?" I couldn't imagine someone like Rosalie ever being jealous of someone like me.
"It's a little more complicated than that, but essentially, yes." She replied.
"Oh." I muttered. Well, that helped me understand a little better, "If she wants more time with him, I get it. I just thought it was something I did."
"No, Leandra." She replied, "It was nothing you did. He's not mad at you. Nobody is mad at you."
"Except Rosalie." I corrected, "For calling her a bitch."
"Well, except that." She allowed, "That was definitely the opposite of helpful."
"B-But I didn't know that then." I defended myself a little, "I was just mad because she was trying to tell me the same thing Jack told me the first day in California. I didn't like that, and I really didn't want to stick around and listen to it. So.. I guess I said a few things I shouldn't have."
"I think I can understand why now." She replied. She sighed, falling quiet for a moment, "I'll talk with Carlisle in the morning. I'd like for you to be there too, to help discuss possible options." I shook my head a little, sighing myself.
"There aren't any."
"The one thing it comes down to," She said, "Is that there are way too many things going on in your head. The one thing we need to focus on is getting a lot of that out of there. We'll talk with Carlisle, and we'll see what the first step could be, okay? We'll figure it out."
"Like what?" I asked. I knew she had to have something in mind.
"Medication?" She suggested, "Something, anything to help you handle anxiety." I shuddered, "I think once your thoughts slow down, you can focus them in a more productive way instead of being forced to fight them all the time. It is possible, Leandra. We just need to take it one step at a time."
I continued to doubt, but she seemed so sure. I didn't want to squash her positivity, so I nodded a little.
"For now, try to get some rest." She murmured, standing up, "If you need anything, you know where our room is." I looked down. I wouldn't bother her, even if I did need something. That's just how I was.
"I don't want to be alone." I admitted, shaking my head.
"I'll leave your door open." She offered, and that immediately seemed to help. That was acceptable. I didn't know why I never thought of that before. I nodded again, a little easier this time.
I watched as she smiled a little at me, before leaving. Just as she said, my door was left wide open. That really made me feel a lot less alone. Jasper and Alice were right next door. With a heavy sigh, unfortunately, I yawned. Crawling under the blanket, hesitating before turning off the lamp beside me.
Across the room, the nightlight flipped on, and I'd have preferred more light, but it was acceptable enough. Curling up almost completely under my blanket, I laid awake for a few minutes, before finally letting my eyes close.
I was surprised when it was suddenly morning. Early morning, but morning nonetheless. I hated feeling like this. Left with nothing but the emotions of whatever I'd dreamed about.
Descending the stairs, I honestly felt like I hadn't slept at all. I was so tired.
"You really need to start sleeping." Alice muttered the second she saw me, "Those circles tell stories." Meaning, the dark shading under my eyes. I knew exactly what she meant.
"Thanks." I replied, sighing.
She and Carlisle were already talking when I arrived, and I didn't really want to interrupt. Unfortunately, the doorbell did that for me. I stood up, on my feet at the unexpected sound, but Alice's smile as she stood up had me easing slightly. She knew who it was.
Emmett was suddenly down the stairs, "What's he doing here?" Alice crossed the room, opening the door just as Jasper descended the stairs as well. He seemed puzzled as well, but not worried.
"Hi." She greeted whoever it was happily.
"I'm sorry for stopping by so early." I recognized his voice, and sighed. Instantly relieved and I sat back down beside Carlisle, "I just wanted to check on Leandra. She left in such a hurry yesterday, and I was a little worried about her."
"No problem." Alice replied, "Come on in." She stepped back, and he almost hesitantly stepped inside. Mikah spotted me easily, giving me a small smile. I couldn't help returning it. I felt a little embarrassed at how I left.
"Hi." I mumbled, and he smiled a little more.
"Hi." He replied, "You okay?" He asked that same thing yesterday. I shrugged a little, looking down, "What happened?"
I didn't know how to answer that.
"I called her." Carlisle answered, and I glanced over at him. Grateful. It was more than possible for me to have had a cell phone in my pocket that vibrated.
"I knew I was in trouble." I added, giving a small smile, "I figured I should get home as soon as I could."
He nodded, understanding that part.
"I sort of snuck out." I murmured, "I wasn't supposed to go anywhere, but.. I needed to talk to you." It was his turn to look down.
"Yeah." He mumbled after a moment, "That's another reason I wanted to come by. I was up all night, thinking about it, and I wanted to tell you that you're right."
"I am?" I asked, surprised.
"Yeah." He repeated, nodding, "You are. It's a big risk, but nothing is ever going to change without taking it, and things definitely have to change." He didn't know how right he was about that. It wasn't just him taking a risk. I'd taken a huge risk yesterday.
"I'm sorry." I told him. I didn't want to be right about that.
"Don't be." He replied, "Thank you, Leandra."
"Keep me posted?" I requested, "Let me know how it goes?" He smiled.
"Sure thing." He nodded, "I wouldn't want to keep you in the dark." I smiled this time, finding that actually pretty amusing, thinking immediately of my fear of the dark.
"I can't stay long." He added, "But I had to stop by. I'll see you later?" I nodded again.
"Eventually." I replied, and he nodded as well, keeping his smile.
Emmett's eyes were on me as soon as he left.
"What?" I asked, defensive.
"Now I'm curious." He muttered, "What was that all about?"
"He was just worried about me." I answered, "I kind of left there in a hurry. I didn't exactly stick around. I haven't run that fast in a long time."
"Not just that." Emmett replied, "What are you right about?"
"I gave him some advice." I shrugged a little, "That's all. I'm not used to being right, though. That's a surprise."
"Leandra, you're very smart." Alice pointed out, "A lot of the time, you know what you're talking about, so I'm not so surprised."
"I'm wrong a lot, too." I countered, "A lot. I wasn't sure if he would take my advice, because he has a lot to lose. At least now I know it was worth it to go over there yesterday."
"This is going to drive me crazy." Emmett grumbled.
"Trust her." Alice told him, "If she thinks she can handle it on her own, then I think we should give her the benefit of the doubt." I appreciated that, "Now, can we move on?"
"If we must." Emmett sighed deeply, and I smiled a little.
"We still need a solution." Alice pointed out and I looked down as she looked to me, "We've been discussing this extensively, but we need your input, Leandra."
"I'm just as lost as you are." I shook my head a little, "I've tried everything I can think of."
"I don't think medication is the way to go." Carlisle spoke up, "If we can avoid that, I'd like to."
"Me too." I agreed with him there. I didn't want that.
"So the issue is trying to slow her thoughts down?" Emmett asked.
"Basically." Alice replied, "Right now, they're too strong for her. There's too much for her to deal with, and it's all bunching up in there."
"Movies don't work."
"Reading doesn't work anymore either." I added, glancing up.
"But it did work for a time?" Jasper asked, and I nodded a little.
"Well," I mumbled as an afterthought, "It helped by making me forget everything for a little while while I was awake. Now I'm lucky to read two lines without getting lost."
"So you're having trouble focusing." They were narrowing it down. I nodded again. He fell quiet for a moment, probably thinking.
"This thing with Alyssa and Mikah probably isn't helping." Emmett grumbled.
"Actually," Jasper corrected, "I think it is. It gives her something to focus on besides everything else in there. It's distracting her."
"What are you thinking?" Carlisle asked.
"She needs distractions." Jasper answered, "Something to take, and to keep her attention. Maybe if she focuses enough on something, it'll give her thoughts time to straighten themselves out."
"That's what school was for." I muttered.
"School didn't challenge you." He argued lightly, "It was far too easy for you, so doing the work there was a breeze and didn't really hold your full attention." He had a point there, "You had the chance to dwell on things at the same time."
"Yeah." I sighed, admitting to it.
"What she needs," He continued, "Are tasks. Things to hold her attention."
"What, like projects?" Alice asked.
"Maybe start with something simple." Jasper shook his head a little, "Maybe chores? Little things she can help out with, while holding her focus and getting her moving."
"I like that idea." I said, perking up a little, "I like to help, but nobody's let me since I've been here."
"She's got a point." Emmett chuckled, "She's been pretty spoiled."
"Why do you think my room's never messy?" I asked, "Even though I'm always in there? I've been doing chores since I could remember."
"That's why you've never had to do them here." Jasper pointed out.
"Jack never really told me to do them." I replied, "Well, he might have when I was younger, but I guess I just got used to doing it. Picking stuff up, throwing stuff out. I got used to taking care of my mom every day. It gave me something to do." I looked to Alice, "That's what I was trying to tell you before. I like burning trash, and getting stuff done. Sure, I got messy, but it kept me busy."
"Honestly, I thought you were just saying that." She admitted, and I shook my head with a little smile.
"Wait," Emmett muttered, "You took care of her?" I realized he wasn't exactly filled in completely on what my mom had to do with my past. None of them were.
"She wasn't exactly the best at picking up after herself." I replied, "Or taking care of herself. She was.. Pretty useless. I had to be the one to kick her off the couch to send her to bed, and from the bed, I kicked out to the couch. When she wasn't too drunk to move. Every week, I changed her sheets and washed them. That was usually when she dragged herself into the bathroom to shower. A few times, though, I had to drag her in there. Then, I had to make sure she didn't drown."
His expression had fallen into a frown, "Holy shit."
"I thought about dragging a hose through the bedroom window, but she probably wouldn't have liked that." I shrugged, "I reminded Jack that she needed to eat every other day. I tricked her into drinking water, because she couldn't live on beer by itself."
"How'd you trick her?" Emmett seemed like he almost didn't want to hear that answer.
"Filled an empty beer bottle with water." I laughed a little, "She'd drink a little bit, make a face, and put it down. I'd wait for her to pass out again, then I'd wake her up, and hand it to her again. Four or five times until she finished the bottle, and she never caught on. I couldn't give her more than one bottle, though, otherwise I'd have a worse mess to clean up."
"God." Emmett winced, turning.
"I learned that the hard way." I muttered, "That was fun." My tone was bitter and sarcastic.
"You kept her alive." Carlisle understood better as well, and I nodded a little. I'd never really gone into this much detail about my mother before, so I didn't blame anyone for not fully understanding.
"As alive as she was." I looked down, "Why do you think it bugged me so bad when she just left like that?" I took a breath, shaking my head, "But I didn't exactly do it for her. I did it for me. She was like a pet. Something that needed taken care of, or it would die. When I was little, I used to think of her like a pet rock. A pet rock that needed things like food, to be walked, and beer. Lots and lots of beer. I had to clean up after it and make sure it stayed clean. If I slacked off, Jack got pissed."
"Why?" Emmett asked.
"Jack got pissed if I breathed wrong." I explained, "Or breathed at all. Jack got pissed if the sky was blue, or a breeze hit him wrong. Jack got pissed if I looked at him a certain way, or said something he didn't like. He didn't have to be pissed at anything else to be pissed at me. It wasn't hard for me to piss him off, and when he got pissed off.. Yeah. That was it.
"But that was the one chore he was strict about, my mom, because he had to sleep in there with her, and he wasn't about to sleep on the couch. He'd set it on fire before he had to sleep on it. As long as the bed stayed clean, and she stayed drunk, he didn't care. He didn't care about her. He didn't need her for anything. That was what I was for."
Given their silence, they were speechless. I was too, in a way. I wasn't expecting that much detail to come out from just a simple question from Emmett. It just sort of happened. It just came spilling out before I could stop it.
"Sorry." I finally mumbled, "I didn't mean to say that much."
"Don't be." Carlisle replied, and I looked to him, "Leandra, that's a great start."
"It is?" I asked, hesitant. Holding stuff like that back since I'd known them, stuff like that was what I wanted to hide from them. What I did everything I could to keep them from knowing. They'd just gotten a glimpse of what had made me into what I was right then, and they thought it was a good thing?
"It is." Alice agreed, and given the way nobody was mad at me, they agreed with her. They weren't frowning at me in disgust. They weren't turning away.
"Leandra, that stuff is bothering you more than you think." Jasper told me, "It's a good thing that you told us about it. It's not just the major memories that make it so hard to bear. It's everything."
"That was the first time you've ever given that much in one thought." Carlisle pointed out, and I looked down. That was saying a lot, because he'd worked with me the most.
"But I didn't mean to." I admitted, shaking my head a little, "It just came out."
"And that's okay." Carlisle replied, "You don't need to feel like you need to censor yourself, or keep things hidden away. Whenever you need to explain something like that, don't stop yourself. That's what we've been trying to tell you all along."
I was starting to see what he meant.
"No matter how bad it is, shorty, we can handle it." Emmett murmured.
"But-"
"Yeah," He cut off my argument, knowing where it was going, "I had to take a walk, but that was all me, shorty. Not you. You're afraid of somehow offending us, or chasing us off, or making us hate you. That's not possible. All we want is to get to know you. We want to understand you, not the you you show to everyone else."
Well, when he put it like that..
"But I don't like thinking about that." I mumbled.
"Then don't think." He replied, "Just talk." I frowned a little in thought, "Just like what you did just now. You weren't thinking about what you were saying. You were just explaining. That's exactly it."
"You're afraid of chasing us away by showing us what's in your mind." Jasper added quietly, and I looked to him nervously, "You're afraid that by somehow showing who you are, the way you are, you'll be rejected. We understand that you haven't gotten to be who you are on your own, and learning all we can about what happened to make you who you are is just as important as everything else about you."
Why was that a relief? I couldn't help the small smile as I looked down. Maybe I was relieved that they weren't mad, but it was more than that.
"What you did just now, Leandra, was amazing." Jasper continued, "Please don't block yourself up again."
It was quiet for a moment, before I nodded. I'd try.
"Esme's going to be disappointed that she missed that." Emmett chuckled, and I smiled a little more. Taking a deep breath, I felt it do something for me again.
"I just want to be useful for something again." I said, getting back onto topic, "Like I used to be."
"Leandra," Alice spoke up and I looked over at her, "You won't be doing anything like that around here."
"I know." I replied easily, "Just.. Something. Anything."
"Makes sense why helping Alyssa with whatever she needs help with is helping her too." Emmett admitted.
She smiled as well, "I'm sure Esme wouldn't mind assigning her things to do." She looked back, "Great idea, Jazz."
Just as Emmett predicted, Esme was a bit disappointed when she got home that evening, but more than thrilled at finally finding a solution everyone could live with. If just the mention of the subject could get me to talk like that, it gave everyone a sense of hope. Something that had been missing for quite some time.
She gestured to the calendar like page on the wall beside the kitchen doorway, "A list of daily household chores are going to hang here, and once a day, you'll choose one to do." I nodded a little, "Once you correctly complete it, you're done for the day, and you can cross off that day. At the end of one week, if you've completed one chore a day without complaint, you get a reward." I didn't even need the reward. That was just a plus.
"Okay." I agreed, "I can do that."
She was going to have me start tomorrow, but I found myself eager to start helping. I wanted to help, instead of hurt for once. I had to admit that I was somewhat excited by the fact that she was actually allowing me to help out now. Extra plus that she'd be there with me when I had questions about how to do something.
And just like that, I started doing a little better. Daily, from then on, I put my entire focus on my task, and with just that short break each day, it was like being able to shut off my mind for a little while. It was working. I was more focused on doing what I was doing, and doing it right, that I almost didn't have to think.
Each day, I found myself wishing the chores she'd chosen for me were harder to do. I often, to her pleasant surprise, chose to do more than one a day, and every time, she seemed happy with the job I'd done. I looked forward to her telling me what a good job I'd done.
It definitely made me feel better.
My first week's reward was a trip to the movies. Getting me out of the house with both Esme and Carlisle. Despite my worry, I knew both of them were constantly aware of everything going on around us, so I knew they'd keep me safe.
As well as giving me some time away from the house, I knew it made Carlisle feel better to be the one with me. Just so he didn't have to worry about what was going on with me, and I wouldn't complain. I always looked forward to being able to spend time with him.
I looked up to him about as much as I looked up to Esme. Esme probably knew that, so she suggested he be the one to come with us.
I worked even harder the second week, hoping for another reward like the one I got before. It wasn't like I didn't see Carlisle that often, but he always seemed distracted on some level. Like he was paying attention to something else at the same time.
I couldn't blame him. My thoughts often moved toward the less distressing things I had to worry about, too. Alyssa especially. I wondered how she was doing, and I wondered how Mikah was doing. I hadn't seen Mikah since that day, and I knew soon, I would have to head to the store. Just to see him.
But so far, I hadn't gotten up the courage to ask. Both because I was worried they'd say no, and I was scared to go that direction again. Despite the way that I knew he'd never be stupid enough to try anything if I had one, or both of my brothers with me.
Alyssa was ungrounded the Sunday of the second week, and I knew that had to be a relief for her. I wasn't sure about asking to go and see her either, but I didn't even have to ask. It was actually Esme that brought it up.
It was cloudy today, the first week of December, and pretty cold, so both Emmett and Jasper were allowed to come with me. I chose to walk, because that was half the fun of going over to her house.
Apparently, Mikah didn't work on Sundays, so he'd probably be at home. I had to admit, not hearing anything about what was going on there made me a bit nervous to approach. I really didn't want to go over there if everyone was mad at me for giving the wrong advice to Mikah.
To my relief, Alyssa was outside again. She didn't seem upset as she played with Emily, rolling a half-flat basketball back and forth across the yellow grass in the front yard, but I wouldn't let that ease me yet.
Her attention was taken as soon as we passed the fence beside hers, and she smiled.
"Hey." She greeted.
"You're ungrounded, right?" I asked, and she laughed.
"Right." She agreed, "I wasn't expecting you to come over immediately, but hey. Whatever works." She actually seemed happier. Lighter somehow. I took that as a good sign, "Let's go inside, though. It's freezing out here."
"Aww." Emily seemed disappointed, though.
"Go tell Alex to make you some hot chocolate." Alyssa told her, and that did the trick. She darted up, and didn't waste a second of looking back before she was inside, calling his name.
I glanced to Jasper, just to see if he'd be okay. He nodded a little, answering my unspoken question. I followed Alyssa up the three front steps to the front door, Emmett and Jasper following me closely.
"Alex." She called as soon as she was in the door.
"What?" I heard his irritated call in reply, "I'm busy!" From the direction of his voice, he was in the kitchen.
"Make me some too." His drawn out groan made me laugh.
"Me too." I called, even though I didn't particularly want any.
"You can have Alyssa's, and she can make her own."
"Hey." She frowned, "Don't make me kick your butt."
"Get in here, then."
It was incredibly amusing to me how they chose to talk by shouting at each other across the house. She must have found it funny too, because she laughed with me.
"Mikah!" Alyssa called, "Alex is being mean to me!"
"No I'm not!" He was outraged, "Liar!"
"Five minutes, guys." Mikah called, and I could understand his irritated tone at their bedroom doorway, "Can you not kill each other for five minutes? You know I have a mountain of homework."
"So set it on fire, and get down here." Alyssa replied, "It's lunch time anyway. Come feed Alex if you don't want the house burned down."
"Shit." The word was drawn out, and sounded suspiciously like Alex's drawn out irritation. Jasper and Emmett were just as amused, it sounded like.
"All of you, shut up." Jon's voice was surprising to hear, "Damn. Can't I rest on my damn day off?"
"No." Alyssa called immediately, "And tell Sammy he's not doing his share of the housework."
"Bullshit." Sammy's voice called from Jon's vicinity, "Yes I do."
"Then take the trash out."
"You do it!" He snapped in reply.
"It's trash day!" She reminded him.
"Then put it out!"
"Mikah!" Alyssa tattled.
"Sammy, take the damn trash out."
Another drawn out groan, and I was sensing a pattern. I laughed as quietly as I could, looking to Emmett and Jasper behind me.
"Aren't you glad I didn't have brothers and sisters?" I asked them.
"Immensely." Jasper replied, but his smirk wasn't an upset one.
"Let's go in here." Alyssa suggested to us, "It's probably a good idea to stay out of Sammy's way. He's not happy." She found that funny, though. She led us into the living room and all it's tiny glory. Jasper and Emmett both seemed fine with standing, but I sat down beside Alyssa.
"So?" I prompted, and she glanced to the guys beside the couch. Knowing she'd have to be discreet.
"What do you want to know about?" She asked, "The uh.. Thing we talked about, or the thing you and Mikah talked about?"
"Both." I replied, "But they know about the first thing, so don't worry about that."
"But nobody else does." She muttered, keeping her voice down, "Mikah's still confused about how there's more money in the grocery box every week when he tries to add to it." I laughed, imagining his confusion.
"So is it fun?" I asked quietly, "Working?"
She hesitated, "Mostly. I don't mind it. It's taken a little while to get the timing right, to keep everyone else from knowing, but I got it figured out. I can pretty much just show up whenever I can."
"Still mad at me?" I asked, and she gave me a look.
"No." She replied as if that was obvious, "I know you were just worried about me, and nobody got in trouble for that, so why should I still be mad at you?"
Our conversation paused as we both clearly heard Sammy start his stomping way down the stairs.
"It's cold as shit outside." He growled as he rounded the bottom of the stairs, "Lazy ass." He didn't even care that I was sitting here.
"I do plenty." Alyssa snapped back at him, "It's not that hard."
"I do plenty of shit, too." He countered, already halfway into the kitchen.
"Laying around all day isn't doing stuff." She reminded him.
"Says who?" He asked, and I shook my head with a laugh.
Moments later, after the sound of gathering trash started, Alyssa looked to me.
"So?" She prompted herself, "What about Jack?"
I sighed, "No idea."
"Sorry." She mumbled, "I haven't really seen anybody I don't know lately. I've been looking."
"Don't." I replied, "Don't look for him."
"I can look." She countered, "Besides. I don't even know what he looks like. I could just look, and tell you if anything comes up around here that I find weird." I allowed that, shrugging a little, "That way, you know what to look for."
She paused again when Sammy came back through. Bitterly dragging a large trash bag behind him.
"Sammy, pick it up." Alyssa didn't like that, "The damn bag is going to tear."
"So?" He paused just inside the living room doorway.
"I just cleaned that floor!"
Pointedly, he lifted the bag, before he dropped it back to the floor. I winced, but the trash bag stayed intact.
"Sammy." She was warning him. He did it once more, and I just waited for the trash explosion.
"Sammy." Mikah was descending the stairs, "Just take it out."
With a very obvious eye roll, Sammy did as he was told. Yanking the door open with enough attitude to inflate a high school.
"I can't wait til I'm old enough to kick your ass." Sammy grumbled at him.
"Keep trying, buddy." Mikah replied easily. He finally found us, and seemed surprised at first.
"Hey." He chuckled, "Wasn't expecting to see you guys. Enjoying the show?" He gestured around the house.
"Very much." I answered, grinning.
"Mikah," Alex called from the kitchen, "Where's the fire extinguisher?"
Gritting his teeth, he held up a finger to us, and rounded. Sprinting to the kitchen.
"Anyway." Alyssa was unconcerned, but the situation in the kitchen had taken my attention.
"Is he going to be okay?"
"Alex?" She asked, "Or Mikah?" She knowingly grinned on his name, but I gave her a look. She giggled, but spoke again, "Yeah. Alex sets the kitchen on fire probably every day. Dad killed the fire alarm a long time ago because of it."
"Killed it?"
"He poked it too hard with a hammer." She answered, and to my surprise, imagining that made me laugh even more. It took her a second, but she started laughing too.
"Mikah will be fine too." She replied, "He gets mad all the time, but that's just because Alex loves to mess up."
"Get in there and sit down." Sure enough, Mikah kicked Alex out of the kitchen. Sammy came quickly stomping back inside, nearly running into Alex and slamming the front door behind himself.
"Fuck it's cold!" He gasped.
"It's not that cold, you big baby." I told him, and he looked to me. He looked like he wanted to say something, but spotted Jasper and Emmett standing there.
"Yeah, well.." He hesitated, "Shut up." That was probably a smart move.
"No." I challenged him, grinning, "You were out there for like thirty seconds. Are you really that weak?" I had to admit. Having Jasper and Emmett with me made me brave, but that wasn't really fair.
"You have no idea, kid." He replied, "I could always show you how 'weak' I am."
"I dare you." Emmett smiled politely his way, "Oh, please. Try it."
That definitely shut Sammy up. With a glare at Emmett, Sammy headed back up the stairs.
"Poor little pup." Emmett muttered, and Alyssa laughed.
"I've never seen him run away before." She told him, "He's not even afraid of Mikah." I looked up at Emmett, smiling a little at him. He smiled a little in return, patting my head lightly with his hand.
"Well, he's not stupid." Emmett replied to Alyssa, "He knows he's gonna watch himself around my sister."
"There." Mikah came back in from the kitchen, "Sandwiches are on the table, and the matches are hidden. Yet again." Alex flew to his feet, jumping over me on the couch in his haste into the kitchen.
"Ow." I grumbled at him. He stumbled on his landing, though, and hit the wall. Not letting that slow him down, he kept moving.
"One at a time, Alex!" Alyssa called after him before she looked to me, "Are you guys hungry?" I shook my head.
"No, not really. We had lunch before we came here." I laughed a little, which was true. Emmett and Jasper both declined as well, "But go ahead."
"You sure?" She asked, and I nodded, "I'll make it quick." I nodded again as she darted up. She hurried from the living room.
"Food!" She called loudly up the stairs on her way by, "Get it 'fore it's gone!" And even I heard movement. Tell-tale thumping told me both Sammy and Jon were on their way. Skidding down the stairs, arguing the whole way.
"Oldest first." Jon laughed, shoving Sammy into the hallway wall. I winced, wide eyed. He hit hard, but Sammy hardly noticed.
"Make sure Emily finishes hers, Alyssa." Mikah called toward the kitchen.
"'Kay." I heard her call in reply.
"What about you?" I asked, looking to Mikah, "Aren't you hungry?"
"Nah." He replied with a small smile, "I'll get something later." He sighed, "I'm sorry about all this. It's pretty crazy when we're all home."
"Don't worry about it." I replied, "I grew up without any brothers or sisters."
"Grew up?" He smirked, "You're still growing up, princess."
"You know what I mean." I sighed, "And that's not my name."
"I'm sorry." He laughed a little, "I don't mean that in a bad way, if that's what you're thinking, but only a princess would be so fiercely guarded." He gestured to Emmett, who grinned. Glancing up at the two of them, he did have a point. I allowed that with a shrug and a nod.
"I feel better with them with me." I admitted.
"And I don't blame you." He replied, "Hell, I'd feel better with them tagging along." I laughed a little, which he returned. It fell quiet for a moment, and I knew what was on his mind.
"So?" I prompted him just as I'd prompted Alyssa, "You don't have to give details, but I'm dying over here."
He chuckled, "Well.. So far, so good. There was one.. Incident, but nothing serious." I winced, hoping he wasn't meaning what I thought he was meaning. He went on, "Mom finished moving out a few days ago."
"She moved out?" I breathed, surprised.
"She did." He replied with a nod, "But I say good riddance. Honestly, she was more trouble than she was worth." I understood that one, "I'm just glad she didn't try taking any of the kids. I wouldn't have let them go if she had tried, and it probably wouldn't have gone as peaceful as it did."
"I don't blame you." I replied, sighing, "Geez, that's rough. I'm sorry."
"Don't be." He murmured, "We're glad she's gone." He seemed sincere, but I still felt bad, "She wouldn't have wanted the responsibility anyway. Having something depending on her for survival? Right."
"She sounds pretty worthless." Emmett muttered, "No offense."
"None taken." Mikah replied, "That's exactly what she was. The only thing she was good at was getting pregnant."
"Clearly." Jasper murmured, glancing up the hall toward the kitchen.
Mikah chuckled, "I'm actually a little surprised there isn't one younger than Emily. Not that I'm not grateful for that. We couldn't handle a diaper bill."
"That bad, huh?" I asked sadly.
"It's a miracle these kids aren't running around without shoes." He replied, "Things are tight. Let's just put it that way." I looked down, "And with Alex and Alyssa growing so quick, there are a lot of hand-me-downs going their way."
No wonder Alyssa jumped at accepting the clothes I didn't want. After learning this, she'd be getting a lot more from me. Just so she didn't have to run around in boy's clothes all the time.
"Have you tried thrift stores?" I asked him.
"Regularly." He nodded, "It's pretty awesome to get a bag full of clothes for five bucks." I nodded as well, sighing.
"But anyway." He continued, "The point is, with her gone, things are already getting better." That was a relief, at least, "I think she was pulling from the grocery money. I've noticed a definite extra amount each week." I bit my lip, looking down and trying not to smile, "I've even managed to save a bit for Christmas this year."
Just the mention, however, made it easy not to smile.
"I'm glad it's better." I sighed instead of commenting on that.
"Thanks to you." He replied, nodding, "I probably never would have gone that route had you not talked me into it. I was going to swing by your house tomorrow to fill you in, actually. Like I promised." I laughed a little.
"I beat you to it." I pointed out, "I'm not that patient. I don't think I could have waited until tomorrow."
I looked over as Alyssa returned with a small laugh. If she didn't already, she was going to have a stomach ache from eating too fast.
"Sammy and Alex are wrestling for the last sandwich." She reported as she landed next to me again on the couch.
"Shit." Mikah groaned again, and I laughed a little as he sprinted off toward the kitchen again. Leaving the room just as the floor thudded loudly, rattling the lamp beside me all the way in here.
"How does he do it?" I asked her and she looked over.
"Do what?"
"Keep everyone from killing each other, go to school, and keep a job?" I asked.
"Jon's not much help." She admitted, "Jon just makes it worse by offering to pay the winner money. I don't know how Mikah does it. I swear, me and him are the only ones who try so hard, but he tries harder than me even." She sighed, "He keeps everything running."
"Sammy kicked his ass." Jon reported on his way in from the kitchen.
"No duh." Alyssa replied, "He's nine. Sammy's thirteen. No contest." I looked over as Jasper pulled his phone out, distracted by the looks of it.
"Excuse me." He murmured to us, turning and leaving the house. Confused, I wondered who'd be calling him. Everyone knew where we were. Emmett met my confused gaze, giving a very tiny subtle shake of his head and a nod toward the kitchen.
I understood then. My understanding was confirmed as Mikah led Alex from the kitchen. Holding a bloody paper towel over his face with his head back. I blinked, surprised.
"Is he okay?" I asked, and Mikah sighed.
"He'll be fine." Mikah assured me, "But I might be awhile."
"No problem." I replied.
"I almost had him." Alex grumbled, more irritated than hurt. Sammy followed them far enough to stand beside Jon, chuckling to himself. Jon, however, stood there eyeing Emmett. Amused, no doubt, because they almost looked to be the same strength-wise, but I knew better. Emmett hardly noticed, however.
Alyssa sighed, "Jon, this is Emmett. Leandra's brother." I liked how she introduced him that way, instead of going into the truth. She looked to Emmett, "This is Jonathan, and that's Sammy." Officially introducing them, I could tell Alyssa was hoping to have avoided doing that.
Emily running in seemed to break the tension. She landed on Alyssa's lap, laughing a little. For a moment, Emily took my attention. I could suddenly easily see that Alyssa was very good at being a big sister, as she cuddled Emily tightly for a moment, drawing another little laugh from her.
The happiness in Emily's eyes made me look twice. What I remembered of being five, I was nowhere near that happy. With gray eyes that nearly matched Alyssa's to a tee, they seemed brighter in a way. Despite the way her mother was worthless, this kid was loved, and she knew it.
"So." Jon spoke up, his smirk still on Emmett, "You're the one that was supposed to be keeping these girls at your place." I frowned as I looked up at him. I didn't appreciate that.
"Well, kids will be kids." Emmett replied, not phased in the slightest.
"Pretty big fail on your part, though." Jon added simply.
"Shut up." I told him instead, but Emmett smirked right back at him. Jon chuckled at me, though.
"Still cute." Jon muttered condescendingly.
"Still got a big mouth." Sammy added.
"I don't see what's so wrong with that." Emmett spoke up.
"Oh boy." Alyssa muttered, and I could tell she was sensing the rising tension again. I doubted Emmett would ever do anything without a good reason.
"Right." Sammy laughed, "Nothing wrong with having a big mouth. Especially if she knows how to use it."
That was a pretty good reason.
Emmett had a hold of Sammy's shirt collar before I even knew what was going on. Nearly yanking him off his feet.
"Pardon me?" Emmett asked, "I don't think I heard you right."
"Emmett." I spoke up, standing and moving closer to him, "Let him go."
"Let him go." Jon agreed with me, and as funny as it was to think about Jon trying to hit Emmett, it wouldn't be so funny when Jon completely shattered the bones in his hand doing so.
Sammy just grinned, not at all bothered anymore. I assumed having Jon there made him feel better as much as having Emmett here made me feel better.
Emmett glanced to me, so I spoke again, "Let him go. It's okay."
No doubt having felt the anger from Emmett, Jasper stepped back inside. Only to see Sammy about to be beat into a bloody mess.
"You heard the bitch." Jon snapped at Emmett, and as much as I hated hearing those words, I grit my teeth and refused to let that get to me.
I reached up, covering Emmett's hand balled in Sammy's shirt with my hand. Just that was enough to make him let go, much to my amazement. Before he could change his mind again, or go for Jon instead, I held Emmett's hand in mine, looking up at him. He glanced down at me.
Sammy stepped back, fixing his shirt smugly. I glared over at him and his grin was on me.
"I think we should go." I mumbled, "Quickly."
"Running away?" Jon chuckled, amused.
"Only for your safety." I countered, "You're lucky I was here." I was sure Jasper had a lot to do with it, too, but that was beside the point.
"Emmett." Jasper muttered, "Step outside." It took him a moment, before he did as Jasper said. Only after he moved to leave did I let go of his hand. Leaving the door open, probably for Jasper's benefit. I knew going out there would calm him down, so I took a breath.
"Smart choice." Jon nodded confidently, "Next time he puts his hands on my brother, I'll wreck him."
"Good luck with that." I snorted.
"Perhaps your brother should keep his thoughts to himself." Jasper added, "That would be a good way to keep all his teeth." I laughed a little, looking to a still-nervous looking Alyssa on the couch.
I ignored Jasper and Jon's conversation now, sitting briefly beside her.
"I'll see you later?" I asked her, and she took a deep breath, just as I had done.
"Sorry." She told me, "They're not the nicest people in the world. Sammy always says stuff that gets him into trouble."
"It's okay." I replied, "Don't even worry about it. I've definitely heard worse than that, and it's not your fault." She nodded a little, clearly feeling a little better.
"I'll be going to Mikah's store tomorrow after school." She offered, but I winced.
"I don't know if I can go." I replied quietly, "At least not until later."
"It's okay if you can't." She replied, "Just thought I'd let you know." I nodded a little. I was relieved she wasn't going to ask about why.
I stepped outside with Jasper close behind me.
"Now you know what I mean." I mumbled, reaching over and taking Emmett's tense hand in mine again. He sighed, holding my hand in return, glancing back at the house.
"Sorry, shorty." He replied, and I shook my head, unable to help smiling a little.
"He had it coming." I told him, "He was stupid to say that."
"Very." Emmett agreed, "That kid's only thirteen?"
"Jon's eighteen." I answered, "Alyssa says Sammy's learning a lot from Jon."
"Too much." Emmett grumbled, "You don't know how much that pisses me off."
"It's okay." I sighed, "I don't care."
"But I do." He countered, "Nobody says shit like that to my little sister. He got extremely lucky you were there, or I'd have gladly smacked his stupid ass into a coma."
I couldn't help laughing. I found that very funny, and somehow, my laughter calmed him down even more. Given his smile and quiet chuckle, quite a bit more.
We arrived home, and the first words from Emmett's mouth were to Esme.
"Somebody almost died today." He reported, leading me into the house, "I figured I should fess up to it on my own, instead of letting Jazz tell on me."
"What happened?" Esme wasn't exactly pleased by that news, so I chose to stay quiet, moving to her side. Leaning on her shoulder, biting my lip.
"Alyssa's brother." He explained, "His stupid mouth got him into a little bit of trouble, but he's alive." He frowned, "And unscathed, unfortunately."
"He said something about me that Emmett didn't like." I explained further. She sighed, "But don't blame Emmett. It wasn't very nice."
"What did he say?"
"Let's just say she's never spending the night over there." Emmett sighed, sitting across the table from us, "Her little friend can come over whenever, but shorty's not going over there. Not with that little punk still breathing without medical assistance."
I could understand that. I didn't blame him one bit, so I didn't bother to complain.
"It got to him pretty bad." Jasper sighed, "Believe me, it bothered me too, but someone had to calm him down."
"I tried." I frowned a little.
"You helped." Jasper assured me, "Considering the kid wasn't immediately unconscious, at very least, by the time I came back inside."
"Why were you outside?" Esme only seemed to be getting more confused.
"I guess lunch time typically involves bloodshed over there." Emmett answered this time, "Jasper made his exit after thirteen-year-old punched nine-year-old in the face over a sandwich."
"Goodness." She gasped, surprised.
"Thirteen-year-old is the one that almost died." I filled her in that far.
"And that was normal." Emmett replied incredulously, "Nine-year-old set the kitchen on fire, and.. How old is Mikah?"
"Sixteen." I answered.
"Well, him." Emmett waved it off, "The poor kid was running around trying to keep the house from burning to the ground, while eighteen-year-old just kept making things worse." I nodded, agreeing.
"Exactly how many kids are there?" She frowned, obviously not happy with what she was hearing.
"Six." I answered simply, "Ages five, nine, ten, thirteen, sixteen and eighteen. Plus their dad, who was probably at work, because he wasn't yelling at everyone to stop yelling at each other."
"No wonder their mom split." Emmett grumbled, "If that's how it is all the time, I'd have lost my mind. That place is a madhouse." I looked down.
"That's not why she split." I replied.
"Then why did she?" He asked.
"I still can't say." I sighed, "Just be glad she's gone."
As much as I wanted to see Alyssa and Mikah again, I didn't want to risk heading that direction the following day. I chose to stay home instead, which surprised no one.
It was mid December before we saw any snow. I missed the rain, and snow was nothing like rain, but it was something at least. The cloudy day was a very welcome change. Not only for me, I knew, but for the family as well. It'd been sunny pretty much every day since we got here, and that made them careful.
Days like today, when the clouds covered any hint of sunlight, they didn't have to be. It was getting to be the season where that would probably happen more often than before.
This had to be the longest stretch without a mess-up I'd gone with them before. Nearly a solid month without cussing in anger, or running off. Sometimes I still cussed when I messed up, or hurt myself somehow, but that was it. I was doing good.
I had the strongest feeling, however, that that was about to change.
Today, Alice felt the need to decorate for Christmas, and the first wreath I saw hanging up, my mood plummeted. I kept it in, though. Ignored it for the most part. I just stared out the window at the falling snow as Alice went nuts. Hanging stuff up, putting stuff out, lighting stuff up. I hated all of it.
I loathed the holiday, and wanted nothing to do with it.
"Leandra," She smiled from behind me, "Do you want to-"
"Not really." I mumbled, not bothering to turn.
"But you seem so bored." She said, "It's something to do." She knew how I always jumped at something to do. I wouldn't now, though. I shook my head, hoping she would listen, "Okay. Just let me know if you change your mind." Sitting on the padded sill seat, I leaned my head against the window as I brought my knees up to my chest.
I was fine watching the snow. The first snowfall of winter, and it already coated the front yard. It had been snowing all night.
Truth was, I was lonely. Sure, I had my family, but currently, I couldn't even turn around. I didn't want to see the decorated living room. I didn't want to be reminded of the stupid holiday, so I watched outside instead.
"Shorty." I didn't even look at Emmett trying to take my attention.
"What?" I muttered quietly.
"What's bugging you?" He asked, sitting next to me.
"Right now, you are." I replied, and he chuckled.
"Come on." He said, "It's been forever since you were like this. Why all of a sudden?"
"I suddenly feel like it." I sighed, drawing a pattern in the slight fog on the window with my finger.
"Let's go outside." He offered, "Maybe you're just cooped up."
I had to admit. That definitely sounded like a better idea than sitting there, hating every move Alice made.
"Okay." I agreed, standing. I kept my eyes down as I went upstairs to get my coat and shoes on. It only took a few minutes, before I came back down. Slipping out the front door, I instantly felt the cold nip at my nose and cheeks, probably turning them pink.
I found Emmett waiting for me across the yard with a hefty snowball in his hand and an evil smirk on his face.
"That's not fair." I warned, unable to help smiling.
I didn't even see him throw it before I suddenly had a face full of snow and I landed on my butt. I quickly cleared the snow from my face, my skin and eyes stinging at how cold it was. When I looked around again, Emmett was gone.
"Oh, come on!" I called, laughing as I stood back up.
I built my own snowball anyway, heading to the other side of the yard. Where I last saw him. I couldn't find him, until another large ball of snow hit my head from above. Exploding on my head in frozen confetti. I looked up, to see he'd jumped onto the roof.
"Cheater." I told him, and he sat down in the snow. Smiling innocently at me.
"Bet you throw like a girl." He told me, and I narrowed my eyes.
"I am a girl, dummy." I countered, throwing the snowball in my hand up at him. He let it hit him squarely in the face. I smiled. He always knew how to cheer me up. Sometimes, his efforts didn't work, but that was when I was really determined to stay in a sour mood.
It took perhaps thirty minutes, until our little one-sided snow battle turned into something more fun. Jasper and Alice joined us outside, and Alice regained a few points with me, by joining my little team, and of course, Jasper wasn't going to leave Alice to defend herself alone.
Now it was Emmett's turn to pout that it wasn't fair.
With snow dusting his hair, he peeked up over the wall in time to receive a snowball straight to the face. Alice hadn't thrown that one, so we looked the direction it had come from, and found Jasper smirking from across the street.
After that, the battle went from a battle, to a war. Forgetting about us girls, Emmett and Jasper continued on hunting each other on a more intense level. Snow-sniping each other to the point where it was very difficult to keep track of who was winning.
After enough of that, I started getting bored, and threatened to go back inside. Emmett quickly cut it out, and suggested something else. I thanked Alice for helping me out, and she grinned. She and Jasper went back inside, leaving us outside.
Since it had been snowing the entire night, and most of the day, there was more than enough snow to build a pretty decent sized snowman. Especially with as much room as we had in the yard.
The butt part of it was almost as tall as I was. Thankfully, Emmett had no problem lifting the only slightly smaller middle part, otherwise it would have been a sideways snowman. For the head, I could just barely lift that. Definitely not high enough to put it on top, but Emmett lifted me on his shoulders, so I could.
"Shorty." He told me with a smirk, and I knew he was picking on me.
"Shut up." I said, resting the smaller boulder of snow on Emmett's head, "I'm working on it." He knew I meant growing taller.
"You're like fifty pounds." He pointed out. I was actually surprised he didn't point that out every time.
"Fifty-eight, thank you." I muttered, kicking him a little.
"And how tall are you?" I narrowed my eyes at his questioning.
"Almost four foot." I answered, though he already knew, "Shut up. I know I'm small."
"You're not small." He said, "You're compact. There's a difference."
"I'm small." I laughed a little incredulously, "Carlisle says I still haven't caught up yet. I'm where an eight-year-old should be."
"You'll catch up." He said, "I'll start sneaking you some cookies."
"No." I laughed again, "I'll just get fat. Now hold still." I lifted the snowman's head, leaning forward and dropping it where it needed to be.
He held still, but continued talking, "You're too skinny."
"I'll live." I muttered in concentration, "I haven't died yet."
I'd just punched the head off the snowman for not sitting right when Carlisle got home. That was the only way I knew how much time had passed. Finally paying attention now, I noticed how it'd started getting dark.
Out of the blue, Emmett lobbed a snowball Carlisle's direction as he made his way toward the front door, but Carlisle moved just in time, and it poofed against the window instead with enough force to rattle the glass. That was enough to cure my irritation at the stupid snowman's head, and made me laugh.
I could imagine how much trouble Emmett would have gotten in if that snowball had broken the window. I almost wished it had.
"Nice try." Carlisle chuckled. I stayed balanced on Emmett's shoulders as he crossed his arms.
"You're too quick." Emmett pouted a little, "I'll get you, though. Don't you worry about that." Carlisle only smiled, shaking his head.
"Now we have to fix the head." Emmett laughed, already gathering snow again as Carlisle made his way inside, "Or poor Frosty's gonna stay headless."
"My fingers hurt." I told him, "You do it." It was true. My fingers were frozen stiff. He took my hand in his, pulling it around so he could look at my light pink fingers.
"Next time, wear some gloves." He said, releasing my hand and I nodded. He quickly built a perfectly round ball of snow much too small to be a head, and plopped it right where it was supposed to go before he turned, and headed for the door. I guess it was time to go in.
I scrunched down as he did, so he could fit through the door without knocking me out on the door frame.
I almost didn't want to go inside, but I was too cold to stay outside. I just wanted to get warm. Even thoughts of getting warm no longer mattered, though, as we went inside, and I gave an involuntary look around. Green, red and silver of many different shades met my eyes everywhere I looked, and I hated it.
Reaching up, Emmett easily lifted me off of him, and set me on my feet.
"Go put dry clothes on, shorty." He said, and I immediately obeyed. Loving the excuse to get away from the Christmas decorations.
Thankfully, nobody pressed. I knew they noticed my mood, but probably just assumed I was headed for another troubled week or something. I really didn't want to admit the reason.
I woke up bitter the following morning, and I knew exactly why. Just remembering all the decorations downstairs made me bitter. I hated Christmas with a passion. Not the holiday itself, but what it reminded me of. There was a very big difference, but the two coincided. They were stuck together.
Outside, it was snowing again. Tiny flakes, and no doubt much colder than the day before. A slight breeze taking those flakes my direction now and then. No chance of sunlight again, so that was a plus. I considered going back outside with Emmett later, but freezing my butt off didn't sound like much fun. The day was already looking gray.
Oddly, the sound of the doorbell downstairs caught my attention. I frowned, but didn't wonder too much about it. Maybe it was Mikah coming by to apologize for his brothers. Or maybe Alyssa coming by to do the same.
"Leandra?" Esme called me from downstairs, "Can you come down here, please?" That confirmed it. I sighed.
"No." I responded out loud, but got moving anyway. I climbed off my bed, and stepped from the room as slowly as I could. As much as I liked seeing Mikah or Alyssa, I just wasn't in the mood for it.
I kept my eyes down the entire way down the stairs until I reached the living room, coming to stand beside Esme. That was really the first time I looked up and around.
The first sight of who had just stopped by was all I needed to immediately raise my mood a few hundred thousand points. A grin immediately replacing my frown. It wasn't Mikah, or Alyssa.
Josh returned my grin, but Zack stood beside him, still amazed at the size of the house.
A/N: YAY! :D I'm sorry this wasn't out before. I'd done a butt load of editing on this, then completely screwed up somehow without saving it. I was pretty mad, and needed a break before editing it all over again, just so I didn't kill everybody off.
THANK YOU! To those that was gracious enough to review! THANK YOU!
As it looks right now, there are four more chapters left to this. Unfortunately, this one is almost over, but then we can look forward to the revamped next story! :D
Until Eleven, my friends!