Rayna pulled onto Deacon's street. She could see that his truck wasn't parked in front of his house, but she pulled up across from it anyway. His neighbor across the street was unloading a box from the back of his truck.

She got out of the Escalade and walked up to the man...she thought she remembered his name was Jerry.

"Hey, good morning!" she greeted him.

"Good to see you again," he replied, smiling. "Looking for Deacon?"

Rayna nodded. "You see any sign of him today?"

The neighbor shook his head. "Nope, truck's been gone since last night. His niece was around this morning, but she left about a half hour ago."

"Appreciate it," Rayna replied as she headed back to her car. She could try to reach Scarlett or just take a chance and head up to the cabin and see if he was there.

Ten years earlier

Rayna sat on the couch on the side of the stage, her eyes closed.

"Hard night?"

She opened her eyes up slowly to find Deacon standing in front of her. He had a glass of water and a bottle of Advil in his hands. She reached over to take them from him.

"Thanks," she replied, slowly as she tried to get the bottle open.

"Let me do that," he said as he sat down next to her and took the bottle from her. He opened the bottle and shook out 2 pills. "You eat anything today?" She nodded and he shook out two more and handed them to her.

She tossed the pills back and washed them down with her water. "Thanks."

She closed her eyes. She really just wanted Deacon to go away. He was the last person she wanted to be dealing with now.

"Where's Teddy?" Deacon asked.

"Headed back to Nashville. With the girls. Spring break's over and Maddie's back in school next week," Rayna said as she stayed seated with her eyes closed.

"Bet you'll miss 'em," Deacon replied.

She opened her eyes slowly and looked over at him. "Of course, but the worst part is, I know it's gonna be easier to be out here without them. I mean, what kind of a life is it for them on a bus?"

"I think they were having fun," Deacon replied. "At least Maddie was. I'm not sure Daphne has her mind on a lot more than eating these days."

"And filling her pants," Rayna replied with a laugh. "Thanks, Deacon."

"It's hard to be away from the people you love," he responded.

She looked over at him. She'd like to think he was talking about the girls, but a part of her bet that wasn't actually the case.

"Well, I better go check on the setlist and set-up for tonight," Deacon said as he stood up. "Drink some more water, Ray. You'll be fine."

She thanked him again, then watched as he walked away. She hated to admit it, but she could never not watch him walk away-those legs, the jeans, the boots...pretty sure she'd never watched Teddy that way. Ever.

"Good show, Rayna," Bucky said as she came off the stage. "So, we've got this next leg with Memphis, the show at Millsaps in Jackson and then two nights in New Orleans. But, we've got a problem."

"What's up?" Rayna asked as she took a sip of water from the bottle one of the road crew had handed her.

"The crew bus blew its engine coming over tonight. They'll have a replacement for us, but probably not until after Jackson. I can put them in a van, or…"

Rayna shook her head. "No, the girls are gone, it's just me in that big ole bus now, so let's just pretend it's the old days and have them come join me."

"You sure you're up for that?" Bucky asked.

Rayna smiled. "You know that whole diva thing is just for show, right?"

"Thanks, Ray. I really hated the thought of sticking them all in a rental van. But, we're gonna be short a bed."

"I'll take Deacon back with me," Rayna said. "I still have it set-up with two beds."

Bucky looked over at her and then nodded. "I'll let them know."

"Hey, at least he's seen me naked," Rayna said chuckling. "Nah, it'll be fine. Maybe we can get some writing done."

Bucky shook his head and walked away.

Rayna walked into the back of the bus to find Deacon setting his guitar in the corner next to the narrow bed.

"Not the palatial spread I expected you had back here," he said as he looked over to her.

"Well, it had been me and the girls back here," Rayna explained. "You okay with this?"

Deacon shrugged. "Probably better than sharing that top bunk with Sam."

"You want to keep the guitar out? See if we can work on the bridge for that new song?" she asked.

Deacon nodded. "Sure, I'm up for that."

"I'm gonna just get changed," Rayna said as she pulled a t-shirt and knit pants from the cupboard in the wall.

Deacon looked over at her. "You want me to close my eyes?" he teased her.

"Nothing you haven't seen before," she teased back. "No, I need to wash my face as well." She pulled her travel bag out and headed forward in the bus to the small bathroom.

When she came back, Deacon was sitting on the bed, still in his jeans, but his plaid shirt exchanged for a faded gray t-shirt. She pushed his boots out of the small aisle between their beds.

"Sorry," Deacon said as he looked up from the guitar.

Rayna sat down on her bed, pulling the pillow out and tucking it between her back and the wall. "I see your habit of just dropping those boots wherever they fall off your feet hasn't changed."

"They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks," Deacon replied.

"Not completely true," Rayna replied. "You've learned some new tricks."

"Or at least I'm not still performing the old tricks," Deacon replied. He strummed a chord as he began tuning his guitar.

"Proud of you, Deacon," Rayna said quietly.

He looked up at her. "I'm proud of us, Ray. Means a lot to me that we can do this, be here, be friends like this."

"Yeah," Rayna replied. She sat and watched as he kept tuning the guitar. "Actually, I'm kind of beat-didn't get that much sleep last night. You mind if I just tuck myself in?"

Deacon laid aside the guitar. "Of course."

Rayna pulled the covers back and climbed in. "Sleep well, Deacon."

He watched as she rolled onto her side, facing the wall. He leaned over and switched off the light, pulled back the covers on his own bed and sat there for a moment. After he heard her breathing become more even, he loosened his jeans and dropped them on the floor next to the bed and crawled between the sheets.

It make him ache to be on this bus, it gently swaying down the road toward Memphis with Rayna so close, but just as far away as ever.

"Deacon?"

He rolled on his side at the sound of her voice. "Yeah."

"Did you miss this? Bein' on the road together?" Rayna asked.

Deacon looked over at her, his eyes adjusting to the dark of the room. "I missed you. A lot. I missed being on the stage, but also being back here, with you, the quiet time."

"Do you wish it had worked out different?" she asked.

"Of course," Deacon replied. "Wish I had been able to be better, stay sober for you. Ray…"

"What?"

"Sometimes, I see you with those girls and I wish it was our family, the one we talked about."

Rayna was quiet, then Deacon could hear that she was crying.

"Ray? You okay?" he asked.

When she didn't answer, he got up and came over to her bed, pulled back the covers and slipped in next to her, holding her until finally she went back to sleep.

When Rayna woke up the next morning, the bus was quiet. They must have arrived at some point during the night. She could see the sun was starting to peak out from the horizon. Deacon was curled behind her in the tiny bed, his arms around her, still asleep.

In all the years they'd been together, sleeping in a bigger bed in a room just like this on so many other buses, she'd been the one to wake up first. Of course, as the years went on, many of those mornings, Deacon had passed out in bed with her and woke up hungover and miserable.

She rolled over to face him. As she did, his eyes opened.

"Mornin'," Deacon said quietly, his voice gravelly with sleep.

"I miss these mornings," Rayna said.

Deacon sat up, leaning against the wall. "You still have that little drip filter for making your own coffee?"

"You know I need my coffee in the morning," Rayna replied.

Deacon rubbed his hand across the stubble on his chin. "And I said that maybe someday we'd be big enough that they'd serve us our coffee in bed."

There was a knock on the door.

"You're kidding, right?" Deacon said.

Rayna slapped her hand over her mouth and pointed for Deacon to get back in his bed. But before he could get back to the other bed, Bucky pushed open the door and walked in holding a cup of coffee in his hand..

"Uh, sorry...I wasn't thinking...uh, Rayna, we've got radio in an hour, then sound check at 3 pm," Bucky stammered.

"I'm gonna grab my stuff and get out of here, go find a shower inside," Deacon said. He stood up, grabbed his jeans and boots from the floor, pushed past Bucky and left.

Rayna sat for a moment, not speaking.

"I brought you coffee," Bucky finally said, handing her the cup. "I'll just meet you outside in a few minutes.

Rayna put her game face on and went to do the morning show on the local country radio station, then walked back out into the lobby to find Bucky waiting for her.

"You want to go somewhere? Get something to eat?" Bucky asked.

Rayna nodded. "Yeah, sounds good."

She followed him out to the car, sitting without speaking next to him as they drove a couple miles to a diner they'd eaten at the last time they'd been in Memphis. Bucky got them a table and they sat down. He opened his menu, then noticed Rayna hadn't opened hers.

"You want to talk about it?" he asked.

She looked over at him. "I'm not sure," she replied and then opened her menu as well.

They sat looking over the fare until the waitress came by to take their order. After she left, Rayna heaved a big sigh.

"I know you must have something to say," she said, looking at her manager.

Bucky shook his head. "I've known you a long time, Ray. Deacon, too. And you know I'm on your side, but is this what you want to do?"

"We didn't do anything," Rayna shot back. "It was just...it was a hard night, with the girls being gone and Teddy being upset with me."

"And is Deacon in your bed the best way to deal with that?" Bucky asked. "I just want you to think carefully before you open that can of worms back up. I saw what it was like for you before and I know what it's been like these past five years with Teddy. I know what that costs you, Ray. Being away from him, but I also can see what it give you and I think you need to consider that."

Rayna nodded. "I don't know...can I keep him on the tour?"

Bucky shrugged. "It's probably something that only you can answer. But if he stays on the tour, you need to think about where your boundaries are. I crossed that line, Ray and now I see my kids a couple times a year. I don't think that's what you want."

Rayna nodded. She knew-she'd seen how hard it had been for Bucky when his marriage broke up. "I love Teddy, I do. But…"

"You love Deacon," Bucky finished for her. "You can choose Deacon, but remember what you're choosing-it's him, not your family and it's Deacon's baggage. You need to think about that, Rayna, cause it's easy now when he's sober and he's making music and he's there to hold you when you feel bad, but I remember a lot of times when that didn't happen anymore. You want to risk that?"

It hurt to have Bucky remind her of those times with Deacon, all those years she'd pushed back in her mind so that she could bring him back into her band. And Bucky wasn't saying it to hurt her. He was saying it because he was her friend.

Bucky reached across the table and took her hand. "I'll back you up, Rayna. No matter what you choose."

"Thanks," Rayna responded.

But she didn't know what she would choose. Or if she could. Yes, she could choose her family, but at that same time, she knew that choice was cheating Deacon out of the one thing he wanted more than anything else.

His family.

The choices she'd made five years ago would haunt her forever.

When she got back to the bus to get ready for soundcheck, all of Deacon's stuff was gone. In some ways it felt like the night before had never happened. She grabbed her things for the gig that night and walked back up to the front of the bus.

"Has Deacon been here already? His guitar is gone," she asked the driver, Mike.

"Yeah, he came to get his stuff, had a cab waiting," Mike replied.

"A cab?" Rayna asked.

"Something about his sister. He had to go home, said that Dean would be able to cover for him tonight. I think he's hoping he'll catch back up with you after New Orleans."

"Oh," Rayna answered. "Did he leave a note, or anything for me?"

The driver shrugged.

And just like that-Deacon was gone. Again.

TBC

Thank you for the reading and for the reviews-as always, I really appreciate them. Thanks to my faithful pre-reader Beth Pryor for all of the feedback. Believe me, she makes this a better story for y'all!

I think we probably have one more chapter left here, but hey, hiatus is ALMOST over.