Chapter Thirteen
Jack was gone, but that didn't ease my worry. Maybe it was just taking awhile for me to feel the relief everyone else felt.
Carlisle left work early that day, coming home around noon instead of more towards the evening like usual. I didn't ask why, but for the first time in a long time, I felt like following him wherever he went. He didn't seem to mind that, and I sincerely hoped I wasn't annoying him, but I was just happy he allowed it.
Edward had told me to trust Carlisle to keep me safe, and so far, he'd been doing just that. They all had. As lost as I felt without the routine of school, I started to take interests in new ones, which involved trailing behind random members of the family. Mostly it was Esme, or Alice. Today, that was Carlisle.
I liked watching him, and I found it a lot easier to talk to him now. Wondering about things, which he'd answer, or explaining my view on whatever subject I'd come up with. Just talking. Truthfully, I wasn't sure until I had a chance to really see that I wouldn't be treated any differently. Once I got passed that hesitation, it was easy.
I watched him and the way he interacted with the rest of the family. It was pretty interesting to watch when I really started paying attention. When I had the room to focus on that, instead of stuck in my own misery or thoughts. It was also nice when they weren't all trying to avoid a certain subject.
I hadn't given myself this chance yet. Something had changed, both in me and in them. From the start, I'd always had some odd sort of guilt about invading their lives, but it felt different now. I didn't so much feel like I'd invaded, but more a part of it.
Before, I'd only allowed myself to feel that way with Esme, but it'd grown. I stopped blocking myself from getting too attached, because I knew that'd happened whether or not I wanted it to. I didn't consider myself an outsider anymore, and that was probably thanks to Edward and what he'd done for me.
That was also thanks to Jasper. His ability gave me the chance to do something I absolutely never would have been able to before. My emotions were all that was stopping me from confessing much of anything to my family, and that had been a real problem. With his insistence, I got passed it, and it really proved what they had been telling me all along. I really didn't have anything to worry about when it came to that stuff.
If I had known I could feel so much better about it, then I definitely would have asked him to help me sooner, but I had a feeling he hesitated before, because he worried about overstepping. I couldn't blame him, but I was deeply appreciative to feel this way now.
After the night before, I was less eager to go over to Alyssa's house. Jasper seemed calmer today, but I still didn't like how close it came. It wasn't so much the fact that I hit Sammy that pissed him off, but it was the fact that Sammy had grabbed me at all.
It didn't matter to Jasper that he hadn't hurt me doing so, but the contact of his hand on me for any reason at all was enough. Just the same as it had been for me.
Hitting Sammy might have been an overreaction on my part, but I'd rather have overreacted than not have reacted enough, and let him think it was okay to do that. I found out that not one person disagreed with that reasoning. Apparently, that had been exactly right, and that made me feel better.
Without bloodshed, I'd gotten my point across. Right across his face.
So I followed Carlisle, and the fact that he didn't mind only encouraged me. I liked to see the way he treated everyone about the same, except for Esme. Every time he'd interact with her, I couldn't help smiling, because he was always so easy with her. I liked seeing that. He treated her like just by looking at him, she gave him everything. Like she was all he could see for those several moments.
I'd never noticed that before. I'd been too wrapped up in my own issues, but now that I was seeing it, I felt like I'd been missing out this whole time. Comparing this example to the way Jack always treated and talked about my mom, there was no possible way they could be any more different. More than night and day. Way beyond opposites.
Esme and Carlisle were separate people, but together, they were something different. It was really interesting to see.
Esme visited me that night, keeping me company before bed, and for once, Carlisle did as well. I was happy about that, because I still had a few more questions for him.
I laid down with a sigh, cuddling under the blanket.
"Can you leave the light on?" I requested, and Esme sighed with a sad smile.
"Of course." She replied. She and I both knew I had nothing to worry about, but it wasn't so much having anything to worry about that made me ask to leave it on. It was just the fear of the memories I'd see in the dark that had me leave it on. The nightlight across the room wasn't enough to ease me some nights, and she understood that.
"I'm concerned that you're not getting the rest you need with it on." Carlisle spoke up, and I looked over at him, "Even while you're asleep, having a light on you can effect how restful you sleep."
"The nightlight isn't bright enough." I explained quietly, nervously scrunching my hand in the blanket, "And when I wake up, I know it won't be enough."
"Let's try something different." He suggested, and I watched him as he turned, crossing the room. He turned on the closet light, and closed the door half way. That was much brighter than the nightlight was, but not as bright as the lamp being on beside me. I hadn't even thought of doing that.
Almost hesitantly, Esme reached over and turned off the lamp. I could still see around the room, almost every corner of it, but I wasn't being blinded by the lamp next to me. That was acceptable.
"How's that?" Carlisle asked, and I nodded. I could live with that.
"Better." I replied, and he nodded. I took a breath, sighing it out. Laying there for a few silent seconds, I looked over at him again, "Can I ask you something?" I'd asked that probably a million times that day, but his answer was always the same.
"Of course." He replied.
"Alice said Jack is gone now," I started, and he waited, "But did it ever bother you to think that he could have been right there the whole time, and you'd never have known it?"
"We know what they look like now, Leandra." He answered.
"But Emmett said-"
"It did take awhile to find their pictures, it's true." He told me, "Especially considering how far they'd gone to disappear, but we know what they look like."
"Are you sure it's them?"
"Alice confirmed." He nodded a little, "From what she's seen, it's them."
"And you've never seen them around?"
"Not a trace, unfortunately." He replied, and I sighed, cuddling deeper under the blanket. I didn't like that he was able to get so close to me in the store, but nobody had ever seen him.
"Can I ask you something else?" I asked, and he smiled a little.
"Of course." He replied again. I hesitated, before speaking again.
"If I ever did go missing, would you ever stop trying to find me?" I knew that question bothered him. Esme as well, but she stayed quiet.
"Absolutely not." He answered, "There would not be a day that went by without us searching extensively for you. We would find you, no matter what it took." He paused, "But you don't need to worry about that."
"It just makes me feel better to know that." I admitted quietly, nodding a little.
"Don't worry about that, Leandra." Esme offered, "Get some rest." I nodded again, closing and resting my eyes for a few seconds. I looked up as Esme stood.
"Night." I mumbled.
"Goodnight, sweetie." She replied, and I watched them leave. Leaving my door open just a bit, which also helped ease me. Cautiously, I let myself fall asleep.
I'd dreamed while I slept, but for the first time in forever, it wasn't about anything bad. Not one thing bad. It was mostly about the things I saw the day before, following Carlisle around. The calm way he'd explained everything to me when I'd ask, and especially his last words to me the night before. How much I believed him.
Somehow, that just made everything better. Easier on me. I figured out quickly that because I'd allowed myself to pay closer attention to what was going on around me, instead of everything going on in my head, I could start replacing some of the things in my head with what was going on around me. I'd never realized that before.
I had been too focused on all the wrong things.
There was one good thing about Jack not around anymore, however. Alice confirmed that he had no intentions of returning to New York, so that opened a new door for me. Almost literally.
I could finally leave the house on my own if I promised to be careful, and to stay as far away from Sammy as I could. That only made me believe Alice more when she told me Jack was gone for the foreseeable future. I took advantage of that new freedom.
"Hey, princess." Mikah's greeting was the usual one, "How are you?" I was getting to know the hours he worked as well as he knew them.
"Bored?" I asked, letting the door close behind me.
"Very." He chuckled, "But here you come to save the day."
"It's what I'm best at." I replied, "How is Sammy?"
"Oh, he's pissed." He laughed, "But he deserved it. I think you're the first one outside the family to ever be brave enough to hit him."
"I just had to show him that not everyone is willing to put up with his shit."
He gave me a look at that last word, shaking his head with another laugh, "You're the cutest thing."
I grinned, "I try."
"But you're exactly right, princess." He pointed out, "You deserve much better than someone like him putting his paws on you." He wasn't the first one to tell me that. Far from it, but it sure made me feel a lot better. He smiled a little, "And maybe he'll think twice next time. Just never lose that yourself. No doubt, there are bound to be more like him with less than acceptable intentions in the future."
"Don't worry about me." I replied, leaning against the counter, "I won't. I can handle him."
"Good." He nodded, "So what brings you by?" Given his tone and smile, he knew exactly why I was there. I looked down with a shrug.
"Maybe I was just bored." I muttered defensively, "Or maybe I had to buy something."
"I see." He chuckled, "Well, don't let me distract you."
"You're not distracting me." I shrugged again, but the opposite was true. He was very distracting, but not in a way he could help.
That light argument continued on the entire time I was there, it being brought up at random times during our discussion. Unfortunately, I could only spend a couple of hours there before it started to get dark, and he insisted I get going. I put up such a fight that he gave in, and just walked me back home when it was time for closing.
I felt so bad about that, but not bad enough to regret that decision.
Until I returned the next afternoon. I felt like something he couldn't shake off, but he didn't seem to mind it. Just as nice to me as he was before.
I passed my time every day for a solid month by spending every second of free time I had either waiting for Mikah to get to work, or with him.
Of course, I had to spend some time with Alyssa too, but most of the time, she didn't mind spending our time at the store or at the park right near home, which we'd gotten into the habit of doing recently. She and I chatted about how school was going for her, and if I'd ever be going back. I didn't know the answer to that, since I hadn't been sent back yet.
Mikah, however, was always glad to see me. Maybe he was just being nice, but I sure didn't care. I'd take whatever time he was willing to give. I saw him every chance I could, and though I did partially wonder if I was being too clingy, I didn't let that stop me. I liked this feeling too much to stop seeing him.
My family always knew I was running off to spend time with Mikah, the much older brother of my friend, but the teasing died down. Almost like they were encouraging it. They must have trusted Mikah to keep me safe more than I realized before. The teasing had died down, but I didn't miss the knowing looks and smiles.
It worried me, though, how much I loved spending time with him. How happy it made me, and how easy it was to tell him things, but I couldn't help it. He was so open, and it was very easy to read his emotions in his kind eyes. When he asked a question, it was never out of boredom. He was honestly always interested in what answer I had to give him.
Somehow, that made him more important to me.
I was never depressed, or down while I was with him. He made it impossible without even making an effort. All he had to do was smile, in the way that he does, and I'd return it. The things he'd say would instantly grab my entire focus, and as weird as it sounded, he was my new hobby. Like a whole new distraction from my overworked mind. Almost a relief, like breathing when I hadn't in awhile.
It got to the point where I was thinking about him while I was home, until I could see him again. I tried to stop that, because it worried me how often he was on my mind, but I couldn't. Thinking about him was something I did automatically now, and I'd smile every time. There was just something so incredibly fascinating about him, I really couldn't help it. I didn't care.
I didn't understand how a person could possibly be addicting, but I was starting to see it. I'd have a not-so-good night, and the next day, I'd forget all about it the second I saw him. If I couldn't see him one day, I stayed longer with him the next day. It didn't take long after I realized that, for me to understand that I needed him.
Jasper was concerned again, though, and tried to talk me out of seeing him so much. He was worried about me somehow getting hurt. I knew Mikah would never hurt me, so his concern was stupid.
It sucked so bad that he had days off. Probably not for him, but for me. I couldn't find him where I usually found him. This particular day off, though, he spent most of the day with Alyssa and I. Leading us through this part of the city to get some pizza for lunch.
It was a nice little place not far from where he worked, so it really wasn't like he was leading me too far away. Of course with permission from Esme, I tagged along with them.
"So.." Alyssa spoke up once we'd found our seats and gotten our drinks, "Is this like a date?"
"No." I replied, and she laughed, "It's not."
"Sure it is." Mikah replied, "Every day is a date. Yesterday, it was January twenty-ninth. Today, it's-"
"You know what I mean." She laughed, throwing her straw wrapper at him.
"Oh, then in that regard, no." He chuckled, "It's not. Can't I treat you two without it turning into that?" He laughed, so he wasn't upset.
"I don't know.." She mused, "What's your angle?" I finally had to laugh as well.
"She really wants you to find a girlfriend." I told him, reaching forward and flicking the side of the soda pitcher sitting on the table. I liked to watch the big bubbles race to the top.
"I know." He replied, "But she knows that it doesn't work like that."
"Stop doing that." Alyssa muttered, and I looked over, "You're gonna make it go flat." I flicked the pitcher one more time, and she reached over, grabbing my wrist with a laugh.
"Don't make me hit you too." I warned, laughing along with her.
Naturally, a slap fight resulted. Not hard slaps, but little ones. Harmless ones, until she somehow managed to topple over, out of her chair and landing on her back on the floor. Probably from leaning back too much.
"I didn't do that." I immediately said, looking to Mikah.
"There's gum under the table." Alyssa muttered, climbing back into her chair.
"Remind me why I take you two anywhere in public?" Mikah asked, having just watched the whole thing.
"Because you like us so much." Alyssa replied confidently.
"Oh. Right." He nodded a little, watching as I extended my hand again and flicked the pitcher once more. Just to make a point.
"That's it." She stated, leaping from her chair and knocking me from mine. I landed on my back this time, but in my quest to quickly right myself, I wound up hitting my head on the edge of the table. Rattling the glasses and wrapped silverware on the table top. Alyssa, of course, laughed, and I did too, but it still hurt.
"Oh, geez." Mikah sighed from his seat, "Okay, which one has been concussed?"
Getting his answer, Alyssa stood up first, victorious as she sat back down. I followed soon after, my palm pressed against the top of my head. I found my seat and before she could laugh at me too much, I reached over and shoved her head down. Hitting her forehead on the table. Rattling everything again.
"Ow!" She was laughing, though, so I wasn't worried about having offended her.
"Come on, guys." Mikah chuckled, "Enough, or no ice cream after this."
"I got even." I replied, "I'm good."
Mikah insisted we leave soon enough anyway, as a particular piece of pizza crust became a projectile. Thrown back and forth until it hit the window beside me.
Surprisingly, Mikah still led us to get ice cream, even though we both acted like little monsters. Unfortunately, the whole place was packed. Making me very uncomfortable. It wasn't exactly the way I felt before starting school, but having this many people around me made it difficult to breathe.
"You okay?" Mikah had noticed, which wasn't hard to do. I was practically stuck against his side, while Alyssa was more in the mood to migrate.
"She's always like that." Alyssa informed him from where she stood inspecting two people in line behind us, "Having lots of people around her freaks her out. You should have seen her during a school assembly."
Mikah looked down at me, "We can pick another place if you want."
"Aw." Alyssa whined, "But this is the only place around with the good cones."
"No." I mumbled, "It's okay."
"Just don't pay attention to them." Mikah suggested, "Ignore them."
"I've tried." I replied, "It doesn't work so well." I could even close my eyes, and I'd still know they were there. Closing my eyes would just make it worse.
"Here." He said, reaching into his pocket, "I've got an idea. I've read somewhere that this sometimes works for anxiety." He produced a small pack of gum. He handed me a piece, and I gave him a look. How the hell was this supposed to work? What was I supposed to do? Throw it at somebody?
"Can I have one?" Alyssa was suddenly there, and Mikah chuckled, handing her a piece as well. I shrugged a little, and unwrapped mine.
Surprisingly, it did help. It was either chewing the gum, or the way he held my hand. Maybe a mix a both, but I survived the line a mile long, and we made it to the front. I almost didn't want to let go of his hand, but I figured he'd only done it to get me that far without snapping and killing the squalling five year old kid three people in line behind us.
"Patience." He muttered to me on our way toward the door.
"Is something I don't have." I muttered back.
There was no way I was sitting in that crowded place, but thankfully, Alyssa wanted to leave as well. She got what she wanted, and it was portable, so we could eat without me launching mine straight at that five year old.
"So." Mikah spoke up as we slowly walked along the sidewalk, "Now what?"
"No idea." I replied.
"We could go back to our house." Alyssa suggested.
"I'm not allowed to go over there without my brothers." I reminded her.
"Why?" She asked, "It's not like having them there stops him from saying stuff." I hated to admit it, but she was right.
"Maybe so they can be there to knock him out?"
"They haven't yet." She pointed out, "Come on."
"Don't pressure her." Mikah spoke up, "She was told not to go over there without them, and she doesn't want to break that rule. Leave it at that."
Alyssa pouted, "Fine."
I looked up at him gratefully, and he smiled a little.
We wound up at the park just outside our house. I appreciated that, being so close to where I lived. Alyssa was busy trying to swing high enough to flip over the top bar, but I doubted she could do that. That didn't stop her from trying, though. It was really interesting to watch. It didn't do any good for Mikah to tell her to cut it out, as she just kept on doing it.
"She'll learn when she breaks her neck." I muttered, and he sighed.
"That's what I'm trying to avoid." He pointed out.
"She'll be fine." I laughed a little, sitting down in the sand, "You're such a mom."
"Hey." He chuckled, sitting beside me, "Someone's gotta be." It was colder here in the shade of the trees, but I didn't mind that too much.
"Higher." I called to Alyssa, "Come on. You can do it." I got a laugh from her in response.
"I'm trying." She called.
"Stop it." Mikah called back to her. She ignored that. I shook my head, looking over at him.
"She probably does that all the time." I said, "Tries to, anyway. She's not dead yet."
"I'd like to keep it that way." He replied. He looked over at me, "Why aren't you over there competing with her?"
"I don't do stuff like that." I answered, shrugging a little. Which was true. Now and then, I might act my age, but when it came to normal things kids did, I wasn't like them.
"You mean play?" He asked.
"Yeah, that." I replied, "I just don't want to."
"You're kidding." He muttered, and I looked over, "What kid doesn't play?"
"Me." I answered simply.
"Why not?" He asked, "Playing, having fun. It's what being a kid is all about."
"I have plenty of fun." I countered, "I'm having plenty of fun just sitting here." I patted the sand beside me.
"The last time I saw you even run was back in December." He pointed out, "And that was from a snowball. You're ten, kid. Not thirty."
"So?" I asked, "Not all kids are the same."
"I've got a new goal." He said, standing up, "You're gonna play."
"I am?" I laughed a little, eyeing the hand he offered.
"Come on." He muttered, "Just a few pushes on the swing."
"I don't want to, though."
"Then just stand with me." He suggested, and as suspicious as I was, I took his hand. Standing up, but the second I did, he scooped me up. The noise I made had Alyssa laughing, and as much as I hated being picked up suddenly, I couldn't help laughing as well.
Sitting me upright on the empty swing, he pushed me before I could stand back up. Unfortunately, I was laughing too hard to really make an effort to stop.
"You're so pushy." I told him.
"Isn't he?" Alyssa agreed from beside me.
"I've been on a swing before." I laughed, "I know what it's like."
"Then swing." He replied, pushing me again before I slowed too much, "Do stuff a normal kid would do."
"I'm not normal." I countered, "I thought you knew this."
"You're normal." He argued, "You just don't want to be."
"This is dumb."
"I could always push you down the slide." He shrugged, stepping around until he was standing next to me once I was swinging high enough for his taste.
"Oh, come on!" I laughed, picturing that, "I thought that was illegal on the playground."
"It is." He chuckled, "Swing, so I don't have to break the rules."
"Meanie." I grumbled, but decided to just humor him. Trying to kick him on my forward swing.
"There you go." He grinned, catching on, "Use me as a target." I laughed again, stretching my leg as far as I could. Unable to kick him. It was very childish, but that didn't change anything.
The higher I went, the further I was from kicking him. Which I was partially grateful for, because had I been successful, I probably would have felt really bad. He stayed well away from my swinging foot, though. His grin, unfortunately, as contagious as it always was as he encouraged me to kick him in the face.
Needless to say, Alyssa didn't succeed. She got just high enough to make Mikah stop her swing, much to her displeasure. I wasn't brave enough to go that high, and eagerly stopped myself to stand the second I could, but it wasn't so bad, to be honest. Until Alyssa made it a game to turn in circles on the swing, then sit down to spin really fast. That stopped when we ran into each other.
When it started to get dark, I didn't want to go home yet, but I knew he had to get Alyssa home, as she had school the next day. They both walked me up the hill to the backyard, and Mikah helped me climb over the wall. Catching me when I nearly fell backwards, still slightly dizzy from spinning on the swings.
"See?" He said as I dropped down off the wall, landing safely in the yard, "I knew you weren't allergic to having fun."
"Okay, okay." I muttered, "You were right."
"I knew I was." He laughed, "I'll open your eyes soon enough."
"Why does it matter so much?" I asked, giving a quiet laugh of my own.
"Because you deserve to be happy, princess." He replied easily, "If you live your life like you're only in it to get by, think about how much you're missing out on." I honestly had never thought of it like that before.
"Something to think about." He told me with a soft smile, knowing by my silence that he had a definite point. He gave me a nod, "Good night."
"Night, guys." I murmured, still stunned, and Alyssa grinned.
"Night." She replied as Mikah reached over, taking her hand. They turned, and I stood there for a minute, watching after them. Halfway down the hill, Alyssa apparently decided she didn't want to walk anymore, and hopped onto his back and he carried her the way Emmett always carried me.
"Okay." Emmett's voice behind me on the porch startled me a little, "I really like him, and dammit, Jasper wasn't around to hear that."
"It's okay." I replied, "I heard it. That's what matters, right?"
"Right." He chuckled. I turned, heading up the steps onto the porch, "So I take it you had a good day?"
"Yeah." I nodded a little, "I always do."
"I think he's good for you." He added, "An awesome influence. Since he can say everything we've been saying all along, and you actually listen to him."
"He says it in a different way." I pointed out. He allowed that with a small shrug.
Before I even knew it, January had passed and half of February had followed. I was actually nervous seeing Mikah this time. I wasn't afraid, but nervous. That wasn't going to stop me, but it did make me wonder. He seemed fine, just like he always was.
"So." Mikah said as soon as the most recent customer left, "Doesn't your family mind how I've stolen you?"
I smiled a little, "Not really. I mean, they've never told me to stay put."
"I'd miss you." He said, "Especially with how close you are to them. That's another thing I've noticed about you. The way you talk about them, it really makes it seem like.. I don't know, like they're saints or something."
"Is that weird?" I asked, wincing a little.
"Not at all." He assured me, "It just really makes me want to know them more. They seem really interesting."
"There's definitely more to them than I've said." I admitted, shrugging a little.
"I'm gathering that." He replied, smiling a little, until it faded, "I've been pretty curious, Leandra. Where do you come from?"
"Washington." I answered immediately.
"That isn't what I mean." He shook his head a little, "Your story is bigger than you're letting on."
I knew what he meant. Normally, this kind of subject was off limits. He'd never expressly asked about it before. Conversation with him was always light, and rarely strayed this serious direction. Somehow, that didn't stop me from wanting to answer him.
I hesitated just a moment, "Let's just say.." I paused, "I know how bad Alyssa was hurting."
"You were beaten? Like her?" He asked, and I knew that bothered him.
"It wasn't exactly the same." I replied, "Alyssa and you were beaten because your mom couldn't keep her temper." He gave me a nod, still clearly upset by the thought, "I was beaten for fun. Because I'd been born." I could see it. There in his eyes, his emotions changed rapidly. Shock, confusion and anger, and back to shock.
"That's horrible." He murmured.
"Every day." I mumbled, "Well, unless I was too sore to move already. Then he'd just smack me somewhere I was already bruised or something. I wanted to help Alyssa, because I know what it's like to be bruised over ninety percent of me, and I know how bad it hurts to have to move while bruised black. I didn't want to see hers get that bad. I didn't want to see hers get any worse. I just couldn't ignore it."
"And that was your stepdad?" He asked, leaning on the counter.
"My stepdad." I nodded, "I guess I owe him." I kept my eyes down as I slowly paced the length of the counter, "If it weren't for him, and what he'd do, I wouldn't be with my family right now. I owe my family my life."
"Wow." He murmured, and I glanced up, "That really is amazing." I could tell he meant every word, "That they'd help you."
"Especially when they really didn't have to." I added, "I've got to be the luckiest kid in the world."
He sighed, "How can anyone so horrible exist in the world?"
I hesitated. What could it hurt to admit it now? "You've actually talked to him before."
"Who?" He asked, "Your stepdad?" I nodded. He frowned in confusion.
"Remember that day? When I ran out?" Understanding came to his eyes, "It wasn't because Carlisle called me. The guy that came in.. That was him. I knew he had been around for awhile. I just didn't expect to see him."
"So wait." His tone was firmer now, "You're telling me that.. With all he's done to you, he's not in jail?"
"He's good at not getting caught." I admitted, and he sighed heavily. For once, I couldn't tell what he was feeling. His eyes were down, and he slowly shook his head. What would he say to that?
"You should have said something." He finally told me, "I could have done something." That wasn't what I expected. He sounded almost mad, but I knew it wasn't at me. I was good at telling that by now.
"Trust me." I replied, "There was nothing you could have done."
"I could have tried." He said, shaking his head. I forced a smile.
"Thanks, but I wouldn't want you getting hurt because of me." I told him, "He's a dangerous guy." Just how much, he didn't even know.
"I'm used to that." I frowned a little at his reply, "I think I could handle him."
What did that mean?
"I wouldn't want you to try." I admitted again.
"And hold on." He wasn't eased, "He's been around?" I nodded a little, "Why?"
"Long story short," I sighed, "To get back at me for telling on him and ruining his life." That really stunned him, given the way he turned a little. Dropping that weight on him was something I really didn't want to do.
"That certainly explains how protective your family is." He mumbled quietly. I nodded again.
"I didn't know he was around the night Alyssa spent the night." I explained, "But the others did. That's why they were so mad about us running off." He nodded as well, understanding now.
"And that day," He prompted, "You came here by yourself, knowing he was around?"
"I didn't know he was that close." I argued, "For all I knew, he could have been halfway across the city somewhere." He allowed that, "But it meant a lot to me. I was willing to risk coming here to talk to you. It was important to me."
"It was still dangerous, Leandra." He told me, "You shouldn't have risked it like that. You shouldn't be risking it right now."
"He's back home already." I replied, "He's not around anymore."
"How do you know?" He asked, and that was something I couldn't tell him. Not because I didn't want to, but because it wasn't my explanation to give. He continued, "You don't know that for sure."
"Just don't try, okay?" I asked, "Please?"
"I know what he looks like now." He told me, "If I see him again, no guarantees, princess."
At his insistence, though, I left before it got too dark outside. He hugged me goodbye, and told me he'd be watching from the corner until I got to the park. I didn't want to let him go this time. Like I was afraid of having to survive the night without talking to him.
I had to ask myself. Why was I so nervous about leaving his side? Sure, I dreaded it every time I had to leave him, but today was worse. I didn't want to.
"Be careful." I told him, and he frowned a little, before he smiled.
"Don't worry about me, princess." He replied, "I'll be alright."
With that, I went home. I got inside the house, sighing tiredly as I landed on the couch beside Emmett. Who seemed particularly bored that night. The TV on some movie channel, showing some action movie. Stuff getting blown up, car chases, and everything.
"Where is everybody?" I asked Emmett, leaning against him.
"Hunting." He answered, boredom in his tone, "They'll be back before morning."
"You didn't go with them?"
"And let you burn down the house?" He asked in return, chuckling a little.
"I'll probably be going to bed soon anyway." I muttered, as if on cue, yawning.
As it turned out, I didn't even make it to bed. I fell asleep right there on the couch with him, and he didn't seem to mind. Leaning against his arm, I didn't get the best nights sleep. If I slept at all.
I should have gotten up the first time I woke up, but I didn't. I didn't want to move, or be alone, which was a change. That hadn't happened in awhile. There for awhile, I could almost consider myself normal.
I woke the next morning to the family returning before dawn. Emmett hadn't even moved.
"Has she even been to bed?" Carlisle seemed unhappy at my apparent all-nighter.
"Nope." Emmett answered as I fell to the side, stretching deeply, "I would have been lonely, and so completely lost without her snoring."
"Ow." I yawned a gasp, immediately lessening my stretching, "Leg cramp. Ow, ow." Carlisle shook his head.
"After breakfast, Leandra, I want you to go upstairs and get some rest." Carlisle told me, and I nodded, in the middle of another stretch. Esme, also unhappy, walked away. Toward the kitchen.
I snoozed for just a bit longer, laying across the couch, until Emmett stood up and pulled me up with him. Carrying me over his shoulder. I was getting used to being carried this way. He paused, sitting me upright at the table.
"Special delivery." Emmett told Esme, "She's a little less than awake, but that's okay, right?" I rubbed my eyes, trying to wake up. It was incredibly hard to even keep my eyes open. They burned with how tired they were.
"I'm too tired to eat." I mumbled, looking up at him.
"Next time, I'll take you hunting for breakfast." He told me, "I'll catch you a squirrel or something. It'll keep you awake when it fights back."
"Ew." I muttered, crinkling my nose.
"What? No blood for you?" He smirked, and I crinkled my nose again, shaking my head.
"No thanks." I muttered, "Not yet."
"That's right." He grinned, sitting beside me, "You've had blood before."
"Yes, sir." I mumbled lightly. I knew he was referring to the vision, so it didn't bother me to answer. I didn't mind answering what I could.
"How old were you again?" He asked, interested.
"Seventeen." I replied, and he smiled a little before laughing in confusion.
"So you're telling me, that the entire dream, you'd never once felt like it was a vision?" He asked, and I shrugged. I'd never been asked that before.
"Well.." I murmured, "From what I can remember, no. It felt so real to me. It was real to me, except that I was actually asleep on my bedroom floor."
"What were you like as a seventeen year old?"
"There isn't much I remember." I told him honestly, "Not about that time, because I was so different, but.." I paused, thinking. He waited patiently as I did my best to recall, "I was protective. Of not just you, but.." I frowned, "Someone else too. There was someone else."
"Ooh, did you have a mate?" He grinned, and I thought about it.
"No, I don't think that was it." I said, "But this person was important to me. More important than anything or anyone else." The more I struggled to see, just like with every time before, my head started to hurt. In a different way this time, "I hate how I would have done anything for them, but I can't even see who it was."
"It'll come to you, shorty." He assured me. I couldn't help but keep trying though.
"Mikah was there." I mumbled without even thinking, and that caught his attention. It caught my attention too, because I was suddenly so sure of it, "Mikah was there." I looked to him, with a frown, speaking again, "He was there, but.."
"I thought you said you never came with us when we left?" Emmett asked, confused.
"I didn't." I said, "He wasn't there until.." I trailed off. I ignored the now severe ache in my head, "He was there, but he wasn't human."
I was pushing myself too hard, but I had to see this stuff. At least regarding Mikah. I couldn't see absolutely anything else, but his face. I knew he was there, though it was really only a glimpse. A hint or two.
I was shocked, surprised as I started to cry. Emotions from the vision coming forward, at least from what I remembered of seeing Mikah. It was too far ahead in the vision, further ahead than I was meant to see yet, but he was there. That's why I hadn't realized yet how I'd seen him before.
I suddenly deeply missed him.
"He was there." I murmured through a sob, "I don't know why, but I do know that he wasn't human."
"He was a vampire?" Emmett asked, and I nodded. Tears trailing softly down my cheeks. I gasped a quiet sob, shaking my head. Trying to control my emotions again, "Why are you crying?"
"I want to remember more." I bawled, deeply frustrated, "But I can't." It wasn't a rare thing for me to cry more when I was tired. The more exhausted I was, the worse my emotion got, but it was rare for me to cry much at all anymore. Especially while talking or even thinking about Mikah.
"It's okay, shorty." He seemed upset that he'd upset me, "Breathe." I wasn't mad, so I allowed him to tell me that. I wasn't mad, but frustrated, and the only way to describe it was heartbroken. I desperately wanted to see more, but it was too far ahead. I couldn't see anything but Mikah, and feel the emotions I felt. It hurt so much, and not just physically.
Just like with the Cullens in the beginning. Knowing I knew them from the vision I had, and remembering what it felt like to live with them. To be safe and protected.
I compared knowing Mikah was there, to how I felt knowing the Cullens were there. It was undeniable.
"He was with us." I said, looking to Emmett, "He was around. All the time."
"So he was here?" He asked, "In the family?" I sniffled hard, nodding before another round of sobs stole my breath. Why was this upsetting me so much? Maybe in the vision, I felt more for him than I did now? Maybe I knew him even better?
A brief memory from my time as a seventeen year old, told me he was there too. One bigger glimpse only upset me more. I saw him standing there, holding something in his arms and smiling at me. In that way that he does. He was happy. What was he holding? I pushed harder. I so suddenly had to know.
"Breathe, shorty. You're scaring me." Emmett sat straighter now, and Esme was suddenly at my other side. I paid zero attention to them, though. Forcing through the pain, now blinding, just to see what he was doing there in that memory. It was all that mattered to me now, to see what Mikah was holding.
I forced through the pain, holding my breath in an effort to control it, and I looked harder. Pushing forward against that memory. It hurt so bad, both emotionally and physically, but I needed to. More started to come through, and I almost had my answer. I was so close, so close to seeing what it was, until my efforts suddenly stopped.
I didn't understand how Emmett was suddenly holding me, telling me to wake up. I heard him, I was awake, but I didn't want to be, so I let myself fall back to sleep. Why was I suddenly sleeping? I couldn't remember, and I found I didn't care.
"This is why we do not push her." Alice was upset. Why was she upset? "Her mind is young. She's young."
"She pushed herself." Emmett was defensive. Why was he defensive?
"You probably made that entire vision disappear." She was blaming him, "Do you know how much valuable information that could have had?"
"It's not his fault." Esme was the one holding me now, "He even asked her to back off. Please stop arguing."
"That vision could have helped us." Alice wasn't quite done yet.
"Shut up." I mumbled without opening my eyes, "You're loud."
"Leandra." Alice was suddenly right beside me, not at all concerned by my telling her to shut up, "You're awake."
"Not by choice." I mumbled with a frown, "Stop yelling at Emmett."
"Leandra, you've been unconscious all day." That made me open my eyes. I winced immediately, literally flinching back at the bright light in the living room. The lamps were on, meaning the daylight was gone. I turned my face into Esme's shoulder, not appreciating the renewed pounding in my head.
From what I could see in that brief and blurry glance, everyone was there. Carlisle stood beside the couch, Alice to Esme's left. Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie across the room.
"Ow." I mumbled, squeezing my eyes shut.
"You pushed yourself way too hard this morning, Leandra." Alice's voice was softer now, relief in her tone.
"So suddenly, it's not my fault?" Emmett was irritated.
"Please shut up." I grumbled, "You don't know how much this hurts." I honestly felt like throwing up, the pain swirling through my head radiated through my entire body, turning my stomach with it.
It was silent for a few minutes while I worked on opening my eyes. When I could, it was only for a second, and only because Rose had gone through, and turned off most of the lights. Leaving one dim one on in the corner. I glanced to her when I could, grateful.
I trembled, but I didn't know why. Probably a side-effect of the worst migraine I'd ever had in my life. I never thought this much pain was possible in a headache. It only took a few minutes of feeling this pain to make me regret waking up. I cried, though I knew it would only make it worse. I couldn't help the tears, though. It hurt so bad. For pain to be bad enough to make me cry was certainly something.
I'd learned recently that I actually had a high pain tolerance, which wasn't so surprising to find out, but just because I could tolerate a lot of pain at once didn't mean I disliked it any less. This was beyond anything I'd felt recently. Easily the worst headache I'd ever had by far.
I glanced over as Carlisle sat to my other side, looking over at him for a second until my eyes had to close again. It was only then that I realized my nose was bleeding again, the pressure I felt in my head probably too much. I felt the drop of blood sliding over my lip and instantly caught it before it could fall, covering my nose and mouth tightly. Worried now, but not about myself.
"Emmett." Carlisle spoke, "Go get a towel." He wasn't upset, surprisingly, and one glance to Jasper told me he was okay. Through the dizziness and pain, I had to consider the situation then.
He lost control at Bella's birthday party, because he wasn't prepared. Could it have been that he wasn't prepared, because I'd decided to distract him the second before she cut her finger?
My attention was taken by Carlisle moving a little closer, and pressing the towel over my nose. Moving that one thought to the back for now. Oddly enough, he didn't place any pressure over my nose or try to stop the bleeding, just holding it there to catch the blood that escaped. I reached a hand up, trying to hold it for him, but my hand trembled too much and I really couldn't have held it myself anyway.
"Breathe, honey." Esme reminded me as my eyes closed again.
"Breathing hurts." I sobbed, which was true. Deep breaths made the pain flare, and I didn't want that, "I've never felt like this before." Blinking tears from my eyes, I knew I needed to stop crying.
"You can't push yourself that hard, Leandra." Alice told me, "This is why. You can't handle it."
I tried to stop crying, but it was so hard. Carlisle moved, helping me sit upright, which was both harder and more painful for me to do. Supporting the back of my neck and making sure I stayed upright, but the temperature of his hand helped significantly. I hadn't even noticed how warm I was.
"Leandra, look at me." Carlisle requested, and I did. Looking over at him, holding his gaze as long as I could before I had to close my eyes again, "Where does it hurt the most?"
"Everywhere." I whimpered.
"Can you see?"
"It's kind of a little blurry." I admitted, "But it's better than it was when I first woke up."
It was silent for a few moments longer, and they could tell by the way my crying slowed that the pain was easing in intensity. My nose continued to bleed for a few minutes, but I wasn't feeling any more dizzy than I had been before it started. It felt, to me, like the pressure eased more the longer my nose bled, but even I knew that one would have nothing to do with the other, and it was more likely that sitting upright like I was was helping the most.
The more the pressure eased, the more I calmed down.
"Your blood pressure was way too high." Carlisle eventually told me quietly, "Whether that's what caused the migraine or if it was caused by the migraine, I don't know, but your blood pressure is what caused your nose to bleed." I nodded gently, leaving my eyes closed. I didn't want to risk opening them and making my head hurt worse again.
"I must ask you," Carlisle spoke again, "Not to try that again. Now that I know what can happen if you attempt seeing more than you're meant to see, I don't want you attempting it anymore."
"Edward was right." I mumbled behind the towel. It was like the more the pain lessened, the more dizzy and confused I got. I knew that would take awhile to shake off, but it bothered me.
"He was right." Carlisle confirmed, "Your physical boundaries are there for a reason. Don't push them again."
"I won't." I replied quietly. My head still hurt indescribably bad, but I could think. One or two thoughts at a time, but other than that, nothing.
"It's my fault we're here." I said, and by one glance, I knew Carlisle was confused.
"What do you mean, Leandra?" He asked, but I hesitated. The train of thought I had been on was gone. What had I been getting at? I frowned, trying to think through the dizziness, until I spoke again.
"Mikah." I mumbled.
"Don't you be trying to think about him." Emmett immediately said, "He's what got you into this mess."
"No." Unfortunately, I started to cry again.
"Don't cry." Carlisle told me, "Leandra, try not to cry." I couldn't help it. Thankfully, Jasper decided to help. Only a few tears managed to fall before I was calm again, but it was enough to restart the nosebleed. It was probably the sniffle I gave that did it, though.
"I want to see him." I mumbled, still behind the towel. Carlisle readjusted it, flipping it over, and that was enough to push Jasper back a step.
"You're not going anywhere, shorty." Emmett grumbled, "Geez, you were just practically in a coma for almost twelve hours, and you want to see him right now?"
"Yes." I replied tiredly.
"Get better first." He told me.
"Emmett's right." Carlisle sighed, shaking his head, "You're not going anywhere for some time, so please just try to relax."
"But-"
"Leandra." I shut up at his tone, but I sighed too.
I stayed quiet now, focusing on keeping my eyes shut, and keeping my breathing as calm as I could. It was silent around me as well, nobody having anything to say that they hadn't already said. Even after the bleeding stopped.
Just like with the bloody nose I'd gotten almost a year ago now, I had to stay sitting up for quite some time. I was allowed to lean back against Esme again, but I wouldn't open my eyes to look around, and while I rested them, I only managed to fall back to sleep. At first, that worried Carlisle, and I was quite irritated at being woken up, but I couldn't blame him. Especially since I'd spent the whole day out cold without being able to be woken up.
Over the course of the next two days, I slept almost continuously. Each time I woke up, my migraine was a little easier to bear, and I could think a little more clearly. While I slept, I didn't dream, thankfully. Stuck inside my mind for so long, it would have been torture if I'd had to dream, too.
Carlisle, of course, had been there the entire time. Checking on me periodically, but letting me rest. I was too tired now to really talk much, but I was given water and something light to eat whenever I was awake, before falling back to sleep for another six or seven hours straight.
Thursday morning was when I'd pushed myself too hard, and Sunday morning, I was finally awake long enough to eat something more filling. Though my migraine was gone, my head still felt sore. My mind ached in a strange way, and it was still a little difficult to really think or focus, but as the day went on, it became easier, and I started to feel more like myself.
Sitting up in my room, still quite tired and recovering, but I was upright, and I was awake. That was a definite plus. I sat watching the snow-globe again, something I hadn't gotten to do in a few days.
I never expected things to go so wrong so quickly.
"Leandra." I looked up at the call downstairs, "Come downstairs, please." It was Carlisle, and confused, I sat there for a moment. He sounded worried. There was no way I could have gotten into trouble, since I'd been here the whole time. He wouldn't be asking me to leave my room without a very good reason. Carefully, I left my room. I found it was pretty easy to move around now, compared to the other day.
Descending the stairs, I frowned as I saw Alyssa standing there, Esme closing the door behind her. Alyssa was crying, very clearly very upset. Instantly, I worried. For someone like Alyssa to cry at all was an odd thing for me to see.
"Hey." I mumbled, coming to stand beside her, "What's wrong?"
"I was wondering if you've seen Mikah?" She sniffled, "Like, at all within the last two days?" Surprised, I shook my head.
"What happened?" I asked, and she couldn't reply right away. Her tears were scaring me, "Is he okay?"
Carlisle offered for her to sit, which she accepted. I sat down beside her.
"What happened?" I asked again, "Is Mikah okay?"
"I don't know." She cried, shaking her head, "Nobody's seen him."
"What do you mean?" I had to ask. I felt like I couldn't breathe, and my mind was running around in panicked circles. Vaguely, I noticed Jasper and Alice both descend the stairs off to the side.
"He and Jonathan got into a fight." She explained tearfully, "Not just an argument, but Mikah hit him. He hit him, really hard."
"He did?" I asked, surprised. She nodded, "Why?"
"I don't know what it was about." She sniffled, "But it wasn't pretty. There was blood everywhere. Emily was crying, because she saw everything, so I made Alex take her upstairs while Sammy and me stayed."
I didn't know what to think. My silence prompted her to keep talking. Obviously still shaken up, it took her a few seconds before she spoke again. I partially understood where she was at emotionally. I'd been this upset before. Many times. Silence was best when it came to sorting out thoughts.
"I've never seen Mikah so mad before, telling Jon he was way out of line." She paused for a breath, "There was so much yelling and moving around.. I-I didn't know what to do, so I just stayed out of the way."
I nodded a little, "That was probably smart."
"I should have done more." She shook her head, "I should have tried to calm him down." Her tears tried to renew for a second, but I had a strong suspicion that Jasper was helping with that. She continued.
"B-But I stayed out of the way." She whimpered, "Sammy was busy trying to keep them apart, holding Jon back as much as he could and yelling at me to help him, but I was just.. I guess I was too scared to move. I yelled at them, but that didn't do much. I've never been so scared in my life. It was like.. I don't know. T-There was nothing I could do. Nothing worked, until dad came running in."
I could picture that. I'd probably be too scared to move too.
"So what happened then?" I asked.
"Dad came over, and pushed Sammy away." She answered, "He pushed Mikah back, and pushed Jon toward the front door. There was more yelling, Jon yelling at dad and dad yelling at Jon, but I couldn't see what was going on. I don't even remember what they were saying." She took a deep, shaky breath, "I tried to tell Mikah not to follow them, but he did anyway. Like he couldn't even hear me. I even tried to grab his hand, but he just shook me off."
That was saying something. Mikah would never just ignore her like that unless he had a damn good reason.
"Dad took them both outside, but Sammy and me, we were too scared to follow." She went on, "Jon came back inside after a minute or two, and he hit Sammy, just for asking him what his problem was. I'm surprised he didn't break his nose. I tried to help Sammy, but he just pushed me away and went upstairs. I looked out the window, since I was still too scared to go outside."
Nervously, I looked up at Esme. The way Alyssa was explaining it, it sounded like everything had just come undone. Out of the blue, everyone had just lost it. Just a big mess of yelling and panic that she had absolutely no way of stopping.
"And Mikah?" I asked nervously, looking to Alyssa again.
"Dad made Mikah get in the truck, and he took him somewhere, but that's the last time I saw him."
"Are you sure?" Such a stupid thing to ask, but that was all my mind could come up with. She didn't even seem to notice how stupid that question was, though.
"I'm sure." She whimpered, "He never came back. I haven't seen him since they left. Dad came back later. After everyone was in bed, but not Mikah. I even waited up, because I thought he was going to come right in, but.." She whimpered, trailing off. She was hurting, and I couldn't blame her.
Instantly, I worried. Mikah and his dad had never gotten along. Mikah admitted that himself, and if Mikah was already upset about whatever he and Jon had fought about, so many things could have gone wrong.
"I'm sure he's fine." I mumbled anyway, glancing to Esme again. I didn't know how to comfort Alyssa. Not with how much that news scared me. I didn't know what to say to her.
"He's never been gone this long before." Alyssa's tears restarted, "I don't know what to do. Nobody is as worried as I am, and they won't do anything to find him. Alex is worried, yeah, but not like me. Sammy doesn't care, and Jon won't even talk about it. All I get when I ask about it is their bedroom door slammed in my face."
"I'm sure he'll turn up." I told her, "Maybe he's just.. I don't know.. Off somewhere, calming down."
"But he doesn't do that." She insisted, shaking her head, "He doesn't leave us for this long. I know him, Leandra. Probably better than any of us. This is not like him. He's never gone for longer than he has to be for work. He always comes home as soon as he can. Always."
I needed to calm down if I was going to help her.
"What do you think happened?" Thankfully, Alice spoke up. She could probably handle this a lot better than I could.
"I think my dad did something." The way she said that without a hint of doubt worried me.
"Like.. Hurt him?" I asked, and she nodded, "Why do you think that?"
"Because Mikah's always standing up for us when the older kids start picking on us or when dad starts yelling at us, and he's always the one that tells dad he's not doing enough. They're always getting into it."
She had to have been really worried to admit that right in front of everyone. I looked up at Esme once more, her worry probably mirroring mine. I had to take a several seconds to think. My mind was still recovering, and this news really didn't help.
"Have you looked through his things?" Jasper asked.
"Yeah." I agreed, "Maybe there's something there that'll tell you where he could have gone."
"Not yet." She sniffled, her eyes lightening, "Think he'll mind?"
"Well if he's gone, he's not around to care, is he?" I pointed out. She sniffled again, looking down.
Taking a breath, I looked out the window at the afternoon sunlit yard, knowing I'd be risking a lot going there alone. I couldn't take my brothers with me, but I wasn't willing to sit around and wait for evening. I stood up, "Let me get dressed, and I'll go with you."
"Leandra?" Alice asked, but I ignored her. She didn't flat out tell me not to go, so I looked to Esme.
She didn't tell me not to go either, so I dashed upstairs. As much as I could dash, anyway.
I had to take a few seconds just to stand there in my room, covering my face for the entire time I paused. I couldn't believe this. Not yet. I knew, however, that whether she needed me to or not, I had to stay strong for Alyssa. She was terrified enough for the both of us, and coming to me had obviously been a last resort. How was I supposed to do that, though, when this news scared me so bad?
"Leandra?" Carlisle had followed me. I looked back at him, seconds from tears, "I want you to be careful." I couldn't help it. Stepping forward, I hugged him. He returned it.
"Be careful when you go over there." He told me, "You've been through a lot in the last couple of days, and I don't want you to push yourself too much. Be careful how you approach them." I nodded a little, but couldn't speak yet, "Please. Choose your words carefully, because if I know you, you won't be thinking about their feelings." I wasn't quite sure what he meant by that, but I'd try to remember what he said.
With a deep breath, I held it in and forced myself to stop crying. One of the few times that'd ever worked. I let him go, and turned around. Once more in search of clothes. He'd left the room to let me change, so I threw on the first things I found, and my light jacket. I jogged back down the stairs.
"Be careful." Esme repeated Carlisle's earlier request, and I nodded.
We left through the back, and this time, our trip wasn't a leisurely one. We both slid down the hill on our hip, pushing ourselves up at the bottom, and running. Something had to be there. Some sort of hint, or clue as to where he'd go. I believed her wholeheartedly that this wasn't like him. Those kids were his life. There's no way he'd leave them without a word.
When we got to her house, I stepped inside ahead of her. My nervousness wasn't going to stop me this time. I wasn't stopping to wait.
Up the stairs, I found Jon standing in the doorway of the boys' room. Standing, leaning against the door frame, his back to the hallway. Completely ignoring Alyssa's hand attempting to stop me from moving for him, I went up to him, shoving him forward as hard as I could.
"Where's Mikah?" I demanded as soon as he turned around, surprised. He looked down at me, smirking.
"I don't know where the little shit ran off to." He told me, and I glared.
"Leandra." Alyssa was behind me, "Don't."
"You know." I barked up at him, "And you better start talking, or-"
"Or what?" He interrupted, standing straighter, "What are you going to do about it?" His tone suddenly intimidated me, and I couldn't think. I fell silent, despite how I wanted to keep talking, "That's what I thought."
I suddenly felt brave again, "You can't do anything to me."
"I will if you enforce that." He countered easily, "Keep talking, little bitch." I took a tiny, involuntary step back.
"Leandra, come on." Alyssa whimpered, "Please." I wanted to listen to her. I wanted to listen to my own head, telling me not to push it, but unfortunately for me, I couldn't.
"Where is he?" I demanded again, "What'd you and that psychopath dad of yours do to him?"
"Watch it." Jon was defensive of his father, "You better think hard, little girl, what you're accusing us of."
"I know exactly what I'm accusing you of." I replied sharply, "What'd he do to him? Where is Mikah?" Behind him, both Sammy and Alex's attention had been taken in the room. Sammy didn't seem so smug anymore, hearing me demanding answers. Sure enough, his face was bruised. Jon had really done a number on him.
"Jon?" He called, "What's she talking about?"
"Do you know where Mikah is?" Alex asked as well.
Jon wasn't pleased, "I'm losing my patience-"
"I don't care!" He took a sharp breath in, raising his hand as if to hit me, and though I did cringe, I didn't back down.
"You have three seconds to get the fuck out of my face."
"I dare you." I growled up at him, "My brothers would-" He cut me off with the hardest slap I'd gotten in a long time. The sound echoed through the ringing in my ears, just like I always remembered it doing. Among the echo, I heard both Alex and Alyssa's surprised and upset cries of protest.
The left side of my face erupted in pain, and I fell to the side. Squeezing my eyes shut against the dizziness, I struggled not to cry as I smelled blood. Taking slow, deep breaths through the pain. Alyssa kneeled beside me, and I couldn't help noticing how she did cry. Bringing my hand up, I wiped the blood from just under my nose. Dammit, I thought I was done bleeding from my nose.
With a pang of sadness, I perfectly recalled the day Mikah had had to help Alex with his own bloody nose. That just helped me. Made me more determined.
"I don't see your brothers here, you spoiled little shit." Jon snapped as I finally looked up at him, "This was their mistake for letting such a big mouth little brat loose without them around." He chuckled, and squatted down as I pushed myself up slightly, "Maybe that'll teach you not to fuck with the big boys."
I don't know what I was thinking. I obviously wasn't.
"That's it?" I forced a laugh, "Wow, I expected more than that from such a big boy." His eyebrows rose, and he smiled in a way I didn't like. He moved like he was going to grab me, but I flinched, so he stopped.
"Don't tempt me, kid." He warned me, shaking his head.
"Fuck you." I snapped this time, "You're pathetic." I received yet another slap. Harder this time, I fully fell over.
"Whoa." He chuckled, standing, "That was a good one." He shook out his hand, shaking his head as he laughed. Alyssa was in harder tears now, helping me sit up. I was dazed, dizzy as hell, but more pissed off than anything.
"What the hell, Jon?" Alex demanded this time, pushing passed him to kneel with me beside Alyssa. His eyes still on Jon, he glared, "Pick on someone your own size, asshole."
"I'm okay." I told them, but Alyssa shook her head. Sobbing.
"Any more questions?" Jon demanded of me, kneeling back down and grinning.
"Just one." I mumbled around blood over my lips. He waited, "Do you have life insurance?" That question seemed to confuse him, so I smiled, "You're going to need it the second my brothers find out about this." Once the last word was out, I spit my blood in his face. Only receiving an equally as hard backhand in response to that.
"Bitch."
That one was a little hard to recover from. I whimpered, unable to truly hide my tears this time as I turned my face into the dark carpet of the hall.
"That's what I thought." He told me, and turned. Descending the stairs.
"I'm so sorry." Alyssa whimpered, helping me as I struggled to sit up.
"Ouch." Alex mumbled, looking over my cheek.
"How bad is it?" I had to ask.
"Your brothers are going to lose their shit." He told me, and I winced. I looked up at Sammy standing in the doorway of their room, watching us in the hall. Taking a deep breath, trying to steel myself against whatever he was going to say.
"What do you want?" I snapped at him, unfortunately my voice trembled lightly.
He took a breath as well, "Bathroom's up the hall. You might want to clean yourself up a little." As if reminded, I reached up, touching the blood on my lip. I nodded a little, and he nodded as well. It seemed like he was going to leave me alone for right then. I sure wasn't complaining.
I was a mess. Three hits to the same cheek was more than enough to warrant the bruising across my face. Under the light pink of my swollen skin, a light green shade, darkening to a shade of deep purple towards the center of it announced the bruising already on its way.
"Shit." I whispered, shaking my head.
Twice, he'd hit the same spot, as there were only two clear impact spots. One closer to my upper cheek, right near my eye, the other a little lower. The backhand had been to the upper cheek area, as I clearly remembered feeling that one. If I didn't get a black eye from this, I'd be very surprised. So far, it looked like I was in the clear, but I wouldn't count on that the more my bruises developed.
I wiped the blood away, grateful for the fact that my nose didn't feel the need to keep bleeding. I knew the bruising was going to get darker. Probably before I even got home. There was no way they wouldn't see this.
I couldn't console Alyssa enough. She felt so horrible, so incredibly upset, but I honestly didn't blame her. I had a feeling it would take some time before she learned that she and her brother were two separate people. His actions had absolutely nothing to do with her.
I took my time, doing what I came here to do. Helping her and Alex look for any clues as to where Mikah might have gone, but with Jon's behavior, I wasn't expecting to find much.
We looked through every part of his space Alyssa could think of. Not finding anything at all. Thankfully, not finding anything he wouldn't want us to see. After our thorough search, we sat together on the side of Mikah's bed, thinking. What now? I could almost feel it. The way she was losing hope.
"I'm sure he'll come back." I offered, looking to her, "I know he'll come back. He has to."
"I can't help worrying so much." She sniffled, "He's all I got. I can't be strong like him without him." I hugged her, hoping that was enough to comfort her.
"I've got an idea." I mumbled, standing, "I'm going to go see about something." She nodded, accepting that, "Oh, and don't be surprised if Jon gets beat up, okay? Just in case. I don't know what they're gonna do about this." I gestured to my cheek. Again, she nodded. She didn't care about that, obviously.
As it turned out, I wasn't home for thirty seconds before both Emmett and Jasper saw me. I had taken three steps in the door when Jasper was suddenly there. Angry, given his expression as he took my chin in his hand, turning my face to the left to get a clearer view of my right cheek.
"I'm fine." I mumbled, but I knew better than to think he'd believe that. Emmett's attention was taken by that, and he was suddenly there, looking closer as well. The growl he gave worried me.
"Who?" Emmett demanded, and I knew better than to avoid answering. Instinct, maybe.
"Jon." I replied quietly, and that was it, "B-But I pissed him off." He heard no word of that. He strode passed me with another quiet, but equally as deadly growl. Jasper immediately followed him, not wasting a second.
Neither of them told me to stay put, so I thought it would be a good idea to follow. Maybe if I was there, they wouldn't tear him apart.
Thankfully, the sun had just dipped behind the buildings in town, because Emmett and Jasper weren't stopping to worry about that. I trailed quickly behind them as they strode through town, having to run to keep up.
To my surprise, though, it was Jasper that lifted me when I started to fall behind. Probably because Emmett was too angry to hold me without smashing me. Given the three dents in their solid wood front door from his knock, he wasn't worried about being careful. He was intensely pissed off, and I was actually happy he didn't try to hold me.
Once Jonathan opened the door, I knew it was over.
"Hello, fucker." Emmett's tone was dangerous.
Jon took one look around, until his eyes found my smug grin.
"I told you." I muttered.
Turning, he tried to run back into the house.
"Where are you going, you son-of-a-bitch?" Emmett caught his arm easily, wrestling with the door Jon tried to close. Nearly knocking it off its hinges in his haste, shoving it open once more.
Emmett growled again, following him into the house, and swiftly, he delivered the first punch to the side of his face. Jon fell to the side, but Emmett wasn't about to let him go that easily. Unfortunately, they'd moved out of sight, and I couldn't watch anymore.
"He's not going to kill him, is he?" I asked, suddenly worried as I looked to Jasper. Jasper turned, stepping back down the front steps. Slowly walking back toward the street, taking me with him. Probably to get away from the blood being spilled behind us.
"I hope not." Jasper sighed calmly, "That's a whole lot messier than just delivering punishment."
Emmett eventually came back out with a warning.
"Hit my baby sister again. Next time, I won't be so nice." Was all he growled to him, but the fact that he said something at all meant Jon was still alive, so Emmett had to have used some restraint. Which was a relief.
"What was that about them letting a big mouth little brat loose without them, Jon?" I called back at the still open door, and only got a groan in response, "That's what I fucking thought."
Plucking me from Jasper, Emmett swung me around and placed me on his back. Carrying me like a backpack again. I clung to him, glancing back as we started for home again.
"That was scary." I finally admitted to Emmett, "Remind me not to hit your baby sister." I was trying to ease his temper, but it didn't work this time. His glare stayed straight ahead.
I hadn't seen him this way before. This was so different from the normal, light-hearted Emmett I was so used to.
"Sammy was nice to me." I offered quietly as a plus side, "He didn't say anything to me or anything. Well, he did, but it was just to say I should clean the blood off my face-" He growled, cutting off my attempt. I bit my lip, cringing internally, "B-But in a nice way. He was nice about it. I think he felt bad."
"I don't want you going over there again. At least not alone. Not without me." He told me, and I was too surprised at his tone to speak at first, "I want to be there to deliver instant punishment if anything like that happens again. As in, crush every bone in his hand, then rip off his arm and promptly beat him to death with it." Wide eyed, I just nodded, but he continued, "I mean it, Leandra. Not ever."
"Okay." I replied quietly, "I won't." The fact that he used my name told me he wasn't playing around.
"I let it slide this time, thinking neither of them would be stupid enough to push it." He continued, "I thought they would take me seriously, but I think now they sure as hell will." I took a breath, looking down.
"Sammy did." I said again.
"In fact, you're not going anywhere without me." He said, ignoring that and I glanced, surprised over at Jasper. He gave me a look in return that assured me. He'd probably talk to Emmett for me.
"Okay." I mumbled, not wanting to argue and get him pissed at me. So, this was what protective Emmett was like. I hadn't gotten to see this side of him yet, and as scary as it was, I knew I was pretty damn safe right where I was. I'd seen hints, like Edward had mentioned, but never this angry. This protective.
I doubted he knew how much it meant to me that he'd act this way, just for me. I smiled a little. I'd always known he was protective of me, but proving it like that might have been a bit overboard, but I didn't care about that.
I hugged his neck tighter.
"Thank you." I mumbled, and he sighed.
"Any time." He replied, his tone calmer now.
"How bad did you hurt him?" I asked, peering over his shoulder, trying to see his expression. He smiled a little.
"I'll be surprised if Carlisle doesn't have to do some damage control." Emmett replied, "Like paying some medical bills. I'm pretty sure I literally broke his face. It'll be a long time before he decides to come anywhere near you again." I winced, imagining that.
"Ouch." I mumbled, cringing.
"He's lucky I didn't decide to shove his head up his ass." He grumbled.
"Think Carlisle will be mad at you?" I asked, frowning. I didn't want him to get into trouble for avenging me.
"Probably a little." He said, "But seeing that bruise, he'll get it. Nobody hurts you, shorty, and gets away with it. No way."
As he predicted, everyone else was less than pleased to see me this way. Alice wanted to go over there as well, but Esme wouldn't let her. Emmett had already done a number on him, but so far, there had been no complaining phone call.
I sat there later that night with Esme and Carlisle, an ice pack over my face.
"I barely cried." I muttered, wincing a little as talking hurt, "I probably shouldn't have kept pissing him off, but I couldn't just let him think he won."
"Leandra," Carlisle sighed, "What did I tell you?"
"I couldn't help it." I mumbled in reply, "He knows. I know he knows something about where Mikah is. Which reminds me." I looked to him, "Do you think you could track Mikah? Find out where he is?"
Carlisle sighed, "That would be rather difficult to do."
"Why?"
"If he was taken somewhere by vehicle, there are any number of places he could be." He explained, "Travelling that way covers a scent quite a bit to begin with, but with that same path crossed by numerous others? Not to mention how much the scent has faded by now. There might have been a chance had we known to trace his scent earlier, but.." He trailed off, and I sighed, "It's too late, Leandra. I'm sorry."
I didn't blame them, as it wasn't their fault, but it was disappointing.
"I know it." I mumbled, "Alyssa is sure, and so am I, that he wouldn't just leave them. Those kids were his life. He raised them himself, practically on his own, from the time they were born. There's no way he'd ever just up and leave them."
"And you're positive his father had something to do with it?"
"Mikah and his dad never got along." I answered, "He told me, Alyssa told me, and I've seen it. I think it's because Mikah was never like him, or they were just too different. I don't know, but I believe them." I sighed, "Jon knows, though. I'm sure of it. I just wish I knew what it was Mikah and Jon fought about. Whatever it was, it was bad enough to make Mikah hit him. I've never seen him mad enough to want to hit anybody, except for that night when Jon was trying to convince Sammy to, uh.."
I hesitated.
"Well, since that night." I muttered.
"What happened?" Carlisle asked and I sighed.
"Sammy wouldn't have even looked at me twice if it weren't for Jon." I explained, "The night Alyssa slept over, and we went back to her place. It was Jon that put the idea into Sammy's head, and that made Mikah really mad." I didn't miss the glance shared between Esme and Carlisle. I knew what they were thinking, but I refused to acknowledge it.
"He's always been too nice." I said, looking down. I fixed the towel over the ice pack carefully. I didn't want to look back up yet.
"I agree." Esme sighed, "He's had to have quite a bit of patience if he's raised those kids." I nodded.
"Their mom ignored them all, unless it was to beat them." I murmured, "Their dad was always working, or yelling at them." Her expression saddened, "The only attention they ever got was from Mikah, and he was only eleven when Emily was born. He made sure they were fed, and had clothes to wear. He took care of them, and taught them all he knew. I can't blame Alyssa for being so worried about him. He kept everybody together."
I sighed, shaking my head, "Wherever he is, I hope he's okay." I couldn't keep the emotion from escaping, "If he's hurt somewhere.." I trailed off, shaking my head again. Esme reached over, hugging me. It hurt, and she understood. It hurt worse than any stupid bruise. I didn't care about that.
Maybe this was what Jasper had meant about me possibly getting hurt. He wasn't talking about physically, though that was probably a worry of his too. He meant hurt emotionally, but I doubted he thought it would be like this. This way. Crush or not, I worried for my friend. Instead of making me happy, thinking about him now just hurt.
I looked over, watching as Alice entered the kitchen. She offered a small, sad smile and took the seat to my other side. I appreciated that more than she knew. She knew I was hurting too. Probably more than I should be for someone that much older than me, and definitely more than I should be for someone I always insisted was only a friend.
"It'll be okay." Alice told me, stealing me from Esme to hug me instead, "You'll see."
I didn't believe her. How could it be okay? It didn't feel like it would ever be okay again. It hurt too much for it to be okay. It ached too much. That just made me start to cry. It wasn't fair.
Much later that evening, after everything seemed to settle down, I laid in bed. Being so tough earlier couldn't last, and I really cried now. Not because I was hit, and my face hurt. I cried, worried about Mikah.
What could have happened to him that he was gone for this long? Where would he go, and why would he leave? Nobody could answer me, and they knew how worried I was.
If Alyssa was this worried, I had every reason to be worried too. She knew him better than anyone else on the planet, and she believed firmly that something happened to him.
All I wanted was to know that he was okay. All I needed was to know that he was alright, and that he'd come back.
I knew, I was fully aware, that I shouldn't be crying like this over just a friend. My heart was broken painfully, my emotion making it hard to breathe. Each time, renewing as I thought about him again.
Crying quietly into my pillow, I cried myself to sleep for the first time in some time.
A/N: Aw. :( I miss him already.
THANK YOU! To those reviews on the last chapter! :D YOU'RE AWESOME! AWESOME! EMOSEWA! :D
Chapter Fourteen is still looking like the last one. :( Sadness! I was just getting comfortable in this one. It won't take too long, as it just needs a final go-over, but I can say that the fourteenth chapter is pretty.. Ridiculously long. I'm thinking it'll stay that way, unless I somehow decide to split it into another chapter, but I'm not sure yet. We shall see what happens.
Until Fourteen, my friends! :D