Chapter Fourteen
Being heartbroken was a strange emotion, and I was learning that.
It was the type of emotion that stuck like glue, clinging to me and filling the empty space in my stomach. A little like depression, but also very different. Sleeping didn't heal it, and it stayed around even after I sat up. Maybe even worse than what it was the night before.
It left a lump of emotion in my throat that wouldn't go away, threatening to reduce me to tears with every breath. What was worse, I physically felt like crap thanks to crying so much.
I'd slept deeply the night before, but too deeply. I woke with a headache. I knew this one was caused by emotion. Not near as painful as the migraine I had before, but it was painful. The kind that made my eyes hurt. I'd woken up feeling like this before, but not for awhile. My eyes sore, still puffy, and kind of sick to my stomach.
A shower did help. It gave me those few extra minutes to myself, and gave me something to focus on instead of the dull ache in my heart for a little while.
Once I was done, I went shuffling downstairs. Keeping my eyes only partially open most of the way, just to prevent running into anything as I sat down next to Emmett.
"What's wrong?" He asked, seeing my discomfort.
"Headache." I mumbled, not appreciating the sound of my own voice. That had stuck around, and it felt like moving too quick only made it worse.
"I hope that fuckwad didn't give you a concussion or something."
"No." I mumbled, sniffling and frowning, "I've been hit way harder than that before."
"In the head?" He asked, and I sighed.
"A few times." I mumbled, "Just not in awhile, I guess."
"How hard did he hit you?" Emmett asked incredulously.
"He used effort." I allowed, and shrugged a little, "My headache's already starting to go away, so don't worry. I think I just slept more than I'm used to."
"Just let me know if it starts hurting again." Emmett said, "I'll be happy to go hunt that fucker down again."
"I've never heard you cuss so much." I commented, yawning. Looking around briefly, "Where's Esme?"
"She and Carlisle had to go see someone." Emmett replied, "Carlisle got a call yesterday, and they figured it would be better to talk to them in person." He seemed reluctant to tell me much, and I frowned a little, "They'll be back soon."
"It's not about Jonathan, is it?"
"No." He said immediately, "No, don't worry about that." I nodded, believing him. I sniffled again, sadness tugging at my heart yet again. I whimpered, keeping my eyes down. The sound gaining his attention.
"Cheer up, shorty." Emmett murmured, hugging me into his side. I sniffled, fighting off the tears that wanted to fall. It hurt.
"You know you can talk to us." He offered, looking down at me.
"It was different with him." I admitted quietly, "I don't know why. It just was."
"He's not dead, shorty." He reminded me, "Just missing. He'll show up. Watch, and you'll see. You'll feel so silly for sitting around all bummed out." He reached over taking my chin and having me look up at him. My bruise must have gotten worse, so I looked down once more. I didn't want him to get mad again. Truth was, I hardly felt it anymore. The emotion I felt swallowed the physical pain whole.
"I miss him." I whimpered quietly.
"I know you do." He replied, "You'll be okay, though."
"It doesn't feel like it."
"You will." He assured me.
I didn't believe him, but I did appreciate his attempts. I knew it was stupid to feel like this, but that didn't stop it, and it made it easier knowing Emmett didn't think I was being stupid. He just let me cry on him.
By the time Carlisle and Esme returned, I wasn't feeling much better.
"How did it go?" Emmett asked.
"Later." Carlisle sighed, and the way Emmett squeezed me tighter to his side made me glance up at him. Shaking his head, Carlisle spoke again, "I have some calls to make."
Frowning, I watched him turn, "Carlisle?" He didn't pause. Continuing on for the office up the hall.
"Don't worry about it." Emmett told me.
"Any news?" Esme spoke up before I could ask about it.
"None." Emmett replied, and her expression softened as she looked to me.
"I'm sorry, sweetie." She sat to my other side.
"Where could he be?" I asked her, "It just doesn't make any sense to me. How could anyone hurt Mikah? Especially his dad. It's not fair."
"I can't answer that." She sighed, accepting my hug as I moved from Emmett's side to hers. It was subtle, almost unnoticeable, but she held me tighter than she usually did. She probably understood the way I felt, and it wasn't exactly unwelcome.
Unfortunately, I had no choice but to keep living. It was stupid to keep laying around whining. I took the day to mope, but after that, I forced myself to keep moving. I kept moving, but I carried the ache of missing him around with me.
The dull ache had lessened in intensity, but it was definitely still there. Like a bruise healing, or a wound trying to close. I didn't cry near as much anymore, despite wanting to. I couldn't lose the sense of emptiness.
I'd just gotten used to seeing him so often, and I now understood why Jasper was so concerned. I got it now. I'd counted on Mikah's company too much, and now that he was gone, I didn't exactly know what to do with myself. There was always the option of seeing Alyssa, but I had a feeling she didn't really want company.
So much time had gone by without me even noticing it. Almost two months had gone by since I last regained my freedom, and I had used it entirely on Mikah. Hardly stopping at all to think about how I was free again.
Jack was a subject nobody brought up anymore. At least not to me. His name was never spoken, Ken's either, and I knew they had been trying to keep me happy. To keep me from getting scared again. I knew, though, that Alice kept an eye in that area for any sign of what he was planning. Some sort of hint, finally taking my warnings seriously.
Without Mikah taking up every waking moment, I could get back to chores. So I did, but I was also pretty distracted. Waiting for the moment when Alyssa would show up and tell me he'd been found or had come home.
That never happened. I waited a week. My bruises faded significantly during that week, healing from the angry purple to a dull blue. I had to wonder, though. If I felt this bad, how badly was Alyssa hurting?
I did everything I could to keep busy, even choosing to do my chores slower, more carefully now. Esme didn't seem to mind letting me stay at the same task sometimes all day. She knew what I was doing, and didn't bother me.
What the hell was wrong with me, anyway? It was just some person. Vision or not. I didn't mope around this much when I had to leave Josh or Zack. However, no matter how hard I tried to talk myself out of it, I remained heartbroken. It wouldn't heal. A constant ache I couldn't shake off.
Time passed quicker after that first week, and March had arrived.
The second day of March, I took Emmett and Jasper with me that evening as I made my way through town. I'd been putting this off, hoping she would contact me first with good news, but since it hadn't happened yet, I had to go see her.
It was a silent trip, and though it was chilly out this evening, the clouds above us threatened rain. Thick and puffy, but it was too warm for snow. The first drop hit me, landing right on the end of my nose just as we got there.
Alex was the one to answer the door, sadness hidden in his tough expression. He didn't smile, only gestured that we come inside. I led Emmett in first, Jasper following him. One glance around told me that without Mikah, things were falling apart around here. The place looked like it hadn't been cleaned in two weeks, and Alex looked like he hadn't slept in just as long.
"Dad and Jon are at work." He told us quietly, "For about another hour and a half, so don't worry about them." I hadn't even given much thought to running into Jon, "Sammy hasn't come out of the room in three days, so I don't think you have to worry about him either. Aly is upstairs if you want to see her." I nodded sadly, "She's in her room."
"Thanks." I told him, and he forced a small smile, but it was so far from genuine.
I climbed the stairs almost hesitantly. How bad would it be? I pushed open their bedroom door, and I saw first hand how much something like this could effect someone.
On Mikah's bed, Alyssa sat half propped up on his pillows, holding a sleeping Emily draped across her stomach. I could tell in Alyssa's expression that she was so tired, and probably just got done crying herself. Probably for the thousandth time.
She looked up, gestured for me to wait.
Gently, she rolled Emily off of her, who rolled over and settled further onto the bed. Falling back to sleep as Alyssa slowly climbed off the bed.
She sighed, her expression so worn down it hurt me to see. Walking with me from the room, she quietly closed the door behind her. Just seeing her this way made me want to cry myself. The positive, happy girl I'd known was nowhere to be found in her run down expression, the aching look in her gray eyes.
"She finally stopped crying long enough to sleep." She told me quietly, "She misses him so much." She looked like she wasn't far from tears herself.
Sitting on the top step of the stairs, she looked down. I sat beside her. She was being so strong for the kids.
"No news?" I asked quietly, and she slowly shook her head. Well, at least they didn't get the news that he was dead somewhere, but I could easily see how that wouldn't be as relieving. As it was, he'd been gone for about two weeks.
Gently, I put my arm around her, and she took the offer. Leaning against me, laying her head on my shoulder, and started to cry. The sound of her tears made tears of my own come forward. It hurt me to see her hurting so much, without being able to help her this time.
Down the stairs, both Emmett and Jasper could see us. I met their eyes sadly, and given the way they met my eyes, they understood. A big part of this family was missing, and there was nothing I could do this time. I couldn't help her with this.
"Where is he?" Alyssa asked me, her tone so broken, "Where is my brother?" I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block my own tears from falling.
I didn't say anything to attempt to comfort her. She didn't need that. There was nothing I could say that would help. Not when something like this had happened. All I could do was be there. I hugged her tighter, knowing she needed someone to just be strong for her for a minute. I knew Sammy was useless. Jon and her father were the last people she wanted to see.
It was up to her to comfort Alex and Emily. That kind of weight would make her grow up. Everything Mikah was trying to avoid, but she would do it. She'd take over Mikah's role in their lives, as much as she could because she cared about her younger siblings. Once her hurt turned into a scar, she'd do it. She'd fill his role.
I looked up, watching as Alex slowly ascended the stairs toward us. Alyssa looked up also, lifting her head off my shoulder. Sitting to her other side, I watched as he hugged her to him now. To my slight confusion, I watched wordlessly as she leaned on him now.
And I saw it.
It wasn't just Alyssa who'd be growing up too fast. Alex was being the definition of solid for her, and I could see that this was nothing new. The sadness in his eyes was apparent, but he didn't cry. He didn't even seem tempted to cry.
For the briefest of seconds, I saw Mikah in him. Alex had obviously been learning from Mikah, and would pick up what slack he could. It helped, if only a little bit, to know that Alyssa wasn't alone. She hadn't been kidding when she said they were all pretty close, but I had a feeling this would bring them closer.
They'd be okay.
"Leandra." I looked over at Emmett's voice at the bottom of the stairs, "Come on. We have to go." His phone was out, and oddly enough, Jasper was already outside.
"But I just got here." I sniffled, frowning a little. It was very unlike him to rush me like this.
"Sorry, shorty." He said, "Something's come up at home. Let's go."
I looked to Alyssa, and she sniffled hard. Nodding.
"Go ahead." She said, "I'll be okay." I nodded as well, hugging her briefly. I hugged Alex too, just so he would know how much I admired him.
They didn't even let me walk. The second we left the house, Emmett picked me up. Walking at a fast pace, straight for home. I sensed the urgency, but when I asked, nobody answered.
I was still recovering from the emotion of Alyssa's house, so I could tell instantly the mood around here wasn't much better. Oddly, everyone was in the same room. Standing around the living room. Waiting on us to get back to complete the group.
Everyone, except for Alice. I looked around for her as Emmett set me back on my feet. Frowning, I couldn't find her. Maybe she was upstairs.
Not wanting to be in the way, I immediately sat down. Finding my usual place on the couch, I waited for someone to take pity on me and explain. Esme found the place beside me, and though I was confused, I really didn't want to ask. She seemed upset enough.
There was a certain type of depression settled around me, only adding to mine.
Sitting with Esme on the couch, she held me against her side, and I would glance up. I hated whatever it was that made her so sad. Esme should never be so sad. Everyone else seemed so down, too, but Esme was hurting. It made me want to cry for another reason other than Mikah for once. What was so wrong?
So I stayed with her. Letting her hold me, because I had to be honest, it did comfort me too. The TV stayed off now, which was very unlike Emmett. Carlisle stayed home, not leaving for his night job teaching, which was very unlike him. Jasper stayed with us, not leaving for his usual night time classes at the college or hiding away upstairs, and Rosalie sat with Emmett in the chair.
Everyone stayed in the same room, staying together now, which gave me the same sense of sadness I felt from Alyssa and Alex. How much they were hurting, and wanted to stick together.
For a hours, it was like this. Nobody moving, aside from Esme to stroke my hair. Nobody spoke, and I didn't want to break that silence. With Alice gone, I started to get nervous, though.
"Where is Alice?" I finally asked, "Why isn't she here?"
The second my voice made a sound, Rosalie stood up. Turning to leave.
"Sorry." I mumbled, watching her. I actually hadn't meant to piss her off this time. She headed right for the stairs, Emmett following her, and I felt horrible. Had something happened to Alice?
"She had to take care of something." Jasper murmured, and I knew not to ask what that something was. I really started to worry then. Did this have anything to do with Mikah? Or Jack? If it did, they'd tell me. Wouldn't they?
I didn't ask again. I laid my head back against Esme's shoulder, like Alyssa had done to me, and I started to cry. Whatever was wrong, it was something big, and it worried me. Nobody seemed irritated at me for crying. I had the worst feeling that if they could, they would too.
That night was one of the worst nights of sleep I'd gotten in awhile, and it lasted the entire next day. Deep into the next night when I fell asleep again. Alice had been gone almost two days now, and I didn't even know why. Too afraid to ask after Rosalie's reaction before.
However, I woke on the morning of the third day to find the mood had changed. I slowly descended the stairs, my bare feet not making a sound I could hear. All this tension was going to kill me if something wasn't different.
Nobody sat now. Everybody on their feet, discussing something that had my immediate attention. As half asleep as I had been before, just having woken up, I was wide awake now.
"Do you really think it'll be alright to go back?" Jasper asked, "So soon after leaving?"
"I believe we'll be just fine. We were hardly there at all." Carlisle replied, "I think it's what's best. Especially if Edward is coming home."
"Go back?" I asked curiously. I normally didn't interrupt, but my entire focus was wrapped around that answer, "Back home?" I didn't know what changed, but I couldn't breathe, waiting for a reply.
This emotion was so different from the heartbreak that had settled into place lately, and I suddenly felt more focused. Awake. Like I'd been less than alive these last two weeks, and the tension breaking suddenly broke away the heartbreak along with it, releasing my heart and letting it beat again.
"Well, we know shorty's vote." Emmett spoke up. Allowing a small smile. Overnight, something had changed. The mood had lightened, relief in their expressions. It was impossible not to feel it.
"Are we going back?" I asked, hesitantly hopeful as I carefully lowered one more step. I needed to know before I exploded.
Everyone waited, looking to Carlisle.
"Yes." He finally answered, "We're going back."
The abrupt change of my emotions made my head spin, but I didn't stop to focus on that.
"Today?" I asked, and he chuckled a little, "Right now?"
"I have a few things I need to take care of around here first, Leandra." He replied.
"As do you, I'm afraid." Jasper reminded me, and I thought for a second. Looking down, I realized he was right. The thought of leaving her behind deflated the excitement quite a bit, but I knew I couldn't just leave without saying something to Alyssa.
"You can visit." Jasper interpreted my emotions, "Now and then, we'll bring you to see her."
"But.." I muttered, "It won't be the same to her. Or me."
"I know." He replied, sighing, "But she'll understand." I hoped he was right.
"Why don't you go pack some essentials," Carlisle told me, "And you'll be the first to know when it's time to leave." I nodded and immediately turned. Heading up the stairs to pack.
"Just the essentials, Leandra." Esme repeated, "We'll come back for everything else later."
As sad as I was to have to leave Alyssa behind, my whole life was there. I'd been born in Forks, and lived my entire life under that nearly constantly cloudy sky. Up until six months before, I'd never lived anywhere else.
As crazy as it was, I couldn't wait to get back to getting rained on almost every day and hardly ever seeing the sun. I would leave the sunlight behind, and never miss it.
I grabbed whatever I could think to take, smashing it into my bag as fast as I could. Pajamas, jeans, shirts. Socks, underwear. My hairbrush, and my toothbrush. I shoved everything in the bag, not caring in the least about neatness or order. Sitting on the bag, I zipped it up, quickly got dressed, and dragged the bag to the stairs. Kicking it down, I followed with my snow-globe in my hand, and the stuffed turtle under my arm.
I kicked it down the second set of stairs, listening to it tumble down ahead of me.
"That was quick." Emmett commented, lifting it for me.
It was then that I learned Alice had taken Carlisle's car, so we only had two. Rosalie's and Emmett's. My bag was placed into the back of the jeep, so I gathered that I'd be riding with the guys, which I didn't mind at all.
Rose and Esme were going on their own, and I guess Rose wasn't as eager to stuff me into the back seat of her car this time. That was probably best with how hyped up I was. Esme was, no doubt, going with her to keep her company.
It took maybe a couple of hours before it was time to leave.
"Leandra?" Carlisle noticed my preoccupation. Standing in the front doorway of the house I'd been so eager to leave behind before, it was hard. I'd definitely learned a lot in this house, and it would always remain one of my favorites. As much as I'd gone through here, it would always have protected me.
"Come on." He urged gently, and I looked up at him briefly before nodding with a sigh.
Esme hugged me briefly in the front yard, and I knew they were going on ahead. I returned her hug, knowing full well I'd see her when we showed up, but I'd probably miss her the whole time we were travelling.
"Behave." She told me as I stepped back, looking up at her.
"No promises." I replied, and she smiled.
"I'll watch her, mom." Emmett called from where he stood situating the bags a little better in the very back of the jeep.
"I'm doomed." I joked, and he gave me a look.
"Don't make me babysit on you." He pointed at me, and I laughed. With a smile of her own, and a shake of her head, she hugged me again before turning. This trip was certainly going to be interesting.
Crammed into the back seat with Emmett, Carlisle and Jasper in the front seats, I was dreading our first stop. Nobody had mentioned it, but I knew full well where we were going first.
Outside Alyssa's place, we stopped, and for a moment, I just sat there. Trying to steel myself for this goodbye.
"We'll be right out here." Emmett told me, and the sunlight just passed the car told me he couldn't come with me. I nodded a little, taking a breath and climbing out. After today, they wouldn't have to worry so much about this.
To my relief, Alyssa was home. She opened the door, confused, until I hugged her. She returned it, but clearly didn't understand what it was for.
"What's going on?" She asked.
"We have to leave." I told her, pulling back, "We're going back." Her surprise was expected, and she glanced to the jeep parked across the street. I waited for her to say something, biting my lip.
"If I could stay, I would." Lie, but also partially true. I would miss her.
She had to take a minute. Unable to say anything at first. When she did, I could tell this was hard on her.
"I wish you didn't have to go." She admitted, and I heard the emotion in her voice, "But I get it." She sighed, "Come inside first. I want to give you something." I glanced back, and nobody seemed to rush me. Despite the darker tint, I could see them watching me. The discomfort I saw in Emmett's eyes, even from where I stood, told me he didn't trust me going inside alone.
"Just for a minute." She pressed, and I sighed. Nodding, I followed her inside. She led me up the stairs, and into her room. I watched her as she stepped forward to Mikah's bed.
"Mikah was going to give you this." She said, and I slowly crossed the room. Sitting beside her on his bed, "Before the fight that day with Jon. He'd mentioned a gift for you, as a sort of way to make up for all the birthdays he didn't get to be a part of so far, but I didn't think it was anything like this." That in itself was enough to make me want to cry.
Slowly, she reached over and pulled open the bedside drawer. Lifting out, and handing me a small box. Like the one she'd shown me that day, but a light purple color instead. I almost hesitantly raised the lid, looking in at the necklace.
"I know he'd still want you to have it." She told me, "Wherever he is."
I lifted out the delicate chain, the dark red flower pendant catching my eye instantly. The stones shined at me in a beautiful way, and I realized. The dark red was meant to represent my birthstone, which was the ruby. Over the dark red flower, was a line of white stones set into the shape of an 'L'.
"This was with it." She murmured, handing me a thin piece of paper. I unfolded it, looking at the words written on it. One sentence. Four words.
'I will do something.' Was all it said.
"I don't know what that means." She admitted quietly, "Do you?"
I couldn't breathe. So suddenly crying. A few deeply felt sobs escaping before I could stop them. Covering my mouth, I muffled them. I couldn't help it, and couldn't stop it.
"Leandra?" She asked, and I couldn't speak yet.
I had a feeling I did know. The last conversation I ever had with him, was about Jack. About how I should have said something the day Jack came into the store, so he could have done something. Could that be the reason he so suddenly took off? Could he have had his dad drop him off somewhere?
I couldn't help reminding myself. He never would have just left Alyssa without giving her some sort of explanation. Maybe he was going to, but got into the fight with Jon instead.
"I didn't find that until last night." She continued, no longer pressing, "It was hidden back behind the drawer here." She gestured to the bedside table drawer, "Meaning, he wanted to keep it safe. You made him happy, Leandra." I cried even more at those words, "I don't know how you did it, but you changed him. In a good way, don't worry, but he wasn't the same."
I honestly didn't know what to say to that. I just kept my eyes on the pendant. Watching it shake along with the rest of me with my left over sobs.
"And I lied." She said, and I looked up, "I lied when I said I didn't know what the fight was about. I heard the whole thing."
"What was it about?" I had to ask, sniffling.
"You." She replied quietly, "Jon was mad. He was mad that Sammy wasn't getting his way with you, telling Mikah all about how you kept leading him on, and that.. Well how you were nothing but a little slut that liked to cause trouble, after hitting him that night.
"Jon said something about Mikah having more of an opportunity to teach you a lesson about respect. Since, Jon said, you were too chicken to come back and face him, and how you liked Mikah so much." She paused as I looked down, "Jon wanted Mikah to be the one to stand up for Jon and Sammy, since Jon couldn't do it himself."
"That's when he hit him?"
"No." She said, "Jon told him to make it a good lesson, since he loved you so much." I shuddered, knowing what that meant. Mikah would never do anything like that. I knew that for a fact, "He hit him after Jon called you Mikah's new little whore."
I bit my lip, keeping my eyes down. Mikah was defending me. That's what started the fight.
"I'm sorry." I finally cried, looking over at her. Her expression softened significantly.
"I don't blame you, Leandra." She said, and I heard the truth in her voice, "I don't. I never did. That's just Mikah. I'd have been surprised if he didn't hit Jon for what he said." She paused, going quiet for a few moments, until she sighed, "We'll keep in touch, right?"
"Yes." I said immediately, hugging her again, "I promise."
Thankfully, she didn't object to me just giving her my e-mail address. She gave me hers, and we headed down the stairs together. I had to hurry this up or I was going to really lose it, and I didn't want to become a sobbing mess in front of her.
Taking the box with me, I stood up, shoved the box into the front pocket of my sweatshirt, and headed for the stairs. Just as Sammy was ascending them. He looked up, saw me and smiled. I recognized that smile, knowing full well he'd obviously recovered from his pity for me.
"Lookie here." He chuckled, blocking the way as I attempted to get by him. I kept my eyes down, certainly not looking for a fight, "Aw, what's wrong?"
"Sammy." Alyssa was obviously in no mood for his bullshit, "You saw what Emmett did to Jon. He's sitting right outside, and I know he wouldn't mind doing the same to you."
"Speaking of which.." Sammy mused calmly before grabbing my face and pinning me back against the wall with a thud, "I owe you for that. He couldn't see straight for a week. Almost got fired for missing so much work, but dad saved his job."
"He shouldn't have hit me." I mumbled, "It was his own fault."
"Let her go, Sammy." Alyssa demanded.
"I don't know what Mikah saw in you." He grumbled, shoving back and releasing me at the same time, "You wouldn't be so tough without those brothers, you know."
"You're wrong." I replied, "I can kick your ass any day of the week."
"Keep dreaming, baby." He muttered, eyeing me up and down, "You're lucky I'm in a good mood today."
"And you're lucky you won't have to see me again." I countered, "Do I have to slap you again to get it through your thick head?"
He narrowed his eyes, "I dare-"
I jumped, yelping in surprise as his statement was suddenly cut off. The sharp sound of the slap echoing up and down the stairs. He turned forcefully, hitting the wall beside me as he faced Alyssa. Had it not been for the hand rail, he would have probably fallen down the stairs. He looked at her, completely shocked by the look on his face.
"I'm tired of your shit!" It really took me off guard to hear Alyssa yell at him like that, and it really surprised me to finally figure out that she'd been the one to hit him. My eyes were wide as I looked to her.
"What the-"
"You want another one?" She snapped sharply, raising her hand, and that got him moving. He actually moved. Practically running up the stairs. Both Alyssa and I watched after him, before looking at each other. She huffed, "Sorry. You okay?"
"I'm fine." I muttered, still in a pretty decent state of shock, "Where did that come from?"
"No idea." She replied, "But it sure felt good." I couldn't help the small laugh.
"Poor Sammy." I said, "He's always getting hit."
"Maybe he needs to stop doing things that gets him hit." She pointed out, and I shrugged a little.
Shaking our heads, we descended the stairs the rest of the way. I knew full well Emmett had heard every word of that, but I was fine. Unscathed, actually, so he hadn't come running instantly.
Alyssa gave me another, tighter hug on the porch.
"I'll never forget you." She told me, "Or everything you did for us. I can't thank you enough, even if Sammy is nothing but an asshole to you."
"I won't forget you either." I replied, hugging her just as tight, "You gave me so much." And it was true. For however short of a time, she and her family gave me a human influence. Somehow, this bothered me more than leaving Josh and Zack. This was harder. Maybe because I'd gotten attached to her family, too? I saw her more than I'd seen Josh and Zack.
I suddenly wished I had more time, but I knew I didn't. I took a breath and pulled back. Forcing a smile as she forced one too.
"Thank you." I told her, "For everything."
She actually smiled a little, "Thank you. I'll see you around, Leandra."
"As often as I can." I replied, and she nodded.
Once back at the jeep, I crawled over Emmett to get into the back seat instead of getting in on the other side. Mainly because I desperately needed to keep crying. Already in tears before Emmett shut the door again.
Nobody commented as we left, understanding how hard it was for me to leave her. As a repeat of when we first left Forks, I knew I just needed to cry about it, but thankfully, Jasper offered a little help. It eased me enough to focus on everything else again. And this time, I had company back here in the back seat.
I did make one more request, however. One more stop before we left good, as this was just something I had to see for myself.
Carlisle sighed, but did as I asked. Pulling to a stop outside the corner store that Mikah was always working at. I climbed out, closing the door behind me as I steeled myself for what I'd see in there.
Pushing open the door, it jingling quietly and announcing my arrival. I couldn't describe my emotion as I looked immediately to the counter, and Mikah wasn't there. He wasn't standing there, greeting me with his usual smile or his soft words.
Instead, some older lady sat there, frowning in concern at my obviously heartbroken expression. Why was I doing this to myself? I knew he wasn't going to be here, but seeing someone else standing in his place bothered me more than I knew how to admit.
Before she could even say anything to me, I turned. Leaving the store again with slow tears still trailing from my eyes. I knew it bothered my family to see me like this, but after this, I wouldn't have a chance to look again. That was a very hard thing to come to terms with.
I climbed back in, shutting the door firmly behind me as I sniffled. Seeing for myself that he wasn't there made it real to me. He really wasn't around anymore, and unless he was dead somewhere, he would definitely have been back by now.
I realized at that point that I was grieving for him.
"Come on, shorty." Emmett murmured, "Don't cry. Why are you doing this to yourself?"
"I can't help it." I whimpered, keeping my eyes down, "He wasn't there."
"He's not going to be." He replied, his tone a lot gentler than I was used to hearing from him, "You knew that."
"I know."
"What is that?" Emmett asked, peering over at the box I picked up again, "Is that what Alyssa gave you?" I sniffled, nodding as I handed it to him, but that just upset me more. I watched him open it, looking at the necklace inside.
"Whoa." He chuckled, "He's got good taste." He held it out as Jasper turned to look.
"Alice is going to want to see that." Jasper smirked a little.
"It's my fault he's gone." I murmured, trying to calm down.
"No it's not." Emmett was the first to correct me, "Don't see it that way, shorty." He closed the box and handed it back to me.
"I have to." I said, "He wouldn't have hit Jon if it weren't for me. You heard her."
"Yeah, well.." He muttered, "He'd better be glad he wasn't home when I heard about that. Mikah hit him defending you. He was protecting you."
"I know." I mumbled, "So it's my fault."
"No it's not." He laughed, "Shorty, remember when you asked me if all boys played rough?" I nodded, "Well, the same goes for defending or protecting a female. For the most part, it's how the dude's raised, but sometimes, it's just instinct. Jon ran his stupid mouth, and Mikah snapped. How was that your fault? It's not."
That helped a little.
"And that's how you know Mikah's a good guy." He said, nudging me a little, "I like him."
"Why are you still talking about him like he's around?" I asked, looking over, "That bugs me. He's gone."
"Sorry, shorty." He smiled a little, and it got quiet.
For the first several miles, I couldn't help dwelling on how much I'd learned about myself during the last six months. Apparently, I was resilient. Whatever that meant. My gift was getting stronger, without me even noticing.
I'd been banned from trying to remember more than I should, and for the most part, I obeyed. I just couldn't help recalling what I already did remember.
I held onto remembering Mikah as much as I could. Standing there, smiling. I didn't push to find out what he was holding, no matter how important it was, but I remembered him easily. Would I still see him again?
In my vision, he was immortal. I suddenly felt better with one seamless thought. Maybe this was how it was supposed to happen. The only explanation of why he had been gone for so long without a word to anyone was that he had been turned.
That's what Emmett had been trying to tell me. He wasn't dead. Just missing. He'd show up. Of that, I was suddenly sure. Why hadn't I thought of this before? Maybe the silence of the car helped me.
I smiled, unable to help it, thinking about him. Instead of worrying, I'd just remember him. If I did manage to see him again, I'd be the happiest kid on the face of the planet.
"You could have said something." I said, looking over at Emmett. For a second, he seemed confused, until he grinned.
"I wanted to see you connect the dots." He replied, "Took you long enough, didn't it?"
"Shut up." I laughed a little, "I've been distracted."
"So stop worrying about him, would you?" He chuckled, "I hate seeing you so sad, and he's probably out there somewhere having the time of his life."
"So protective." I muttered, rolling my eyes a little.
"Someone's got to watch over you." He countered, "And beat the shit out of anyone who hurts you."
"What happens when you can't?" I asked, and he looked over.
"Why wouldn't I?"
"I dunno." I sighed, shrugging, "Just what if?"
"That'll never happen." He said, grinning, "Just say the word, shorty." I smiled, looking back out the window.
I also learned during this trip just how much I missed home. Once the obvious heartbreak eased, soothing itself, the excitement bloomed again. As difficult as it was to sit still, having Emmett next to me helped immensely.
I refused to let Carlisle stop for the night. I was far too excited, anyway. I had to get there as soon as we could. Just to see it again. Just to get home. That seemed like such a simple word when we weren't already on our way there, but now that we were, I missed it even more.
I asked the same question I'd asked when seeing that same billboard I'd seen before.
"If it's a gentleman's club," I muttered, "Why are there pictures of women on the billboard?" Emmett snorted, starting on a very amused chuckle.
"Don't answer that, Emmett." Jasper told him from the front.
"Oh, come on." He chuckled, "It's a decent question."
"Now I'm more curious." I admitted, looking over at Emmett. Jasper's reaction only made my curiosity stronger.
"Don't do it." Jasper warned from the front.
"Sorry, shorty." Emmett laughed, "I'll tell you when you're older. I don't feel like dying by Jasper any time soon."
I frowned, "But-"
"Trust me." He told me, "Not knowing what that is won't kill you."
"Fine." I muttered, sighing. I let it drop, looking out the window again.
Just like on our way there, we were making excellent time. Nearly straight shot, nearly no stops.
I only allowed one stop for food, and refused all the other offers. I cursed myself when we did have to stop to find me a bathroom. I ignored it for as long as I could, but it was a close call. I made it. By sprinting into the closest gas station, but I made it.
"Run, shorty!" Emmett called after me, amused.
"Shut up, Emmett!" I called back without pausing.
I didn't wait as long to speak up after that.
The day faded, and we continued on. When I did get tired enough to snooze, I just used Emmett as a pillow, or I curled up on the seat.
Morning came, and went, and the closer we got, the more edgy I got. I was excited, sleep so far from my mind. Before I knew it, we'd made a forty-five hour drive in less than twenty-four. Just by cooperating, and refusing to stop for longer than thirty seconds.
It also helped having Emmett there keeping me occupied.
Mini slap fights, which I'd always win, would break out. I'd shove him over when he'd 'unintentionally' take up too much room, and we'd bicker. He'd say something just to provoke me into a light-hearted argument. Just to keep me from being bored to tears. Probably once, I actually did get irritated, and fell silent for about an hour, but that was it.
I was so wide awake by the time we reached town, I doubted I'd ever sleep again. I never thought I'd miss this small town so much, but I really missed it. It was boring, plain, but it was where I lived.
My face was nearly against the glass, watching out the window the entire way through town.
"Hurry up, hurry up." I grumbled at one of the stop lights in town. It just had to take its time. Just to torture me.
"Calm down, shorty." Emmett chuckled, "Pace yourself." I'd waited six months to come back here. Pacing myself wasn't possible. I actually compared this feeling to the night Alyssa spent the night. All the sugar I'd consumed that night made me feel like this. This excited.
I leaned forward between the two seats. Pointing forward the second the light turned green.
With a chuckle, Jasper shook his head.
"Just run them over." I suggested with a glance to Carlisle, referring to the two cars in front of us.
"Get back here." Emmett laughed, pulling me back into the back seat with a light tug on my shirt, "You're distracting the driver."
"Come on." I whined, "Who cares about speed limits? I sure don't."
"Breathe." Emmett reminded me, and I took a breath, "You're going to make it. I swear. The anticipation isn't going to kill you."
"Yes it is." I fell over, across the middle of the seat, "I'm not getting any younger. We're so close."
"Carlisle, I suddenly feel the need to pull over and stretch." Emmett grinned.
"No." I kicked the back passenger door, "Don't you dare."
Emmett faked a yawn, and stretched his arms out. Nearly spanning the whole length of the back seat as he fell over. I recognized this trick, and instantly started hitting him as he landed on me. He'd pulled this several times during the trip.
"You're smashing me." I couldn't stop laughing, however. Me on my side, I only had one free hand to hit him with. My fight only increased as he reached over and tickled my side. Squirming, I managed to roll to my back, bringing my leg back and kicking him in the head.
"You're only making it worse, Emmett." Jasper pointed out with a quiet chuckle.
"I know." Emmett replied, "But I like to hear her laugh." And he heard plenty of laughs without much effort on his part. A poke here or there, and those laughs would renew, but one good threat would always stop the tickling.
"I swear, I'll pee."
He sat up instantly, giving me a look. I returned it as I sat up as well, glaring at him from across the back seat.
The fact that we slowly came to a stop took my instantly took my full attention, and I turned. Looking sharply out the window, noticing that we'd finally made it.
Esme and Rose had obviously gotten there long before we did, not having to stop at all except to get gas, and I was surprised to find they'd already gotten most of the furniture back in the house by themselves, given my glance into the house.
Out front of the house, I actually hesitated in getting out. I just couldn't stop staring at the house long enough to move. It was the most amazing thing I'd seen in so long.
Emmett and Carlisle greeted Esme and Rosalie lightly on the porch, but Jasper had noticed the fact that I hadn't climbed out yet.
Opening my door for me, he smiled a little, "Well?"
With an emotion in my throat I couldn't describe, I finally moved. Hopping from the seat carefully. I stared up at the house as if it'd been years since I'd been home. I loved it here. I loved everything about the house.
"Finally." I mumbled, catching Carlisle and Esme's attention on the porch. Cold rain poured on me, drenching me as I hesitated, standing there. They stood safe from the rain on the porch, looking down at me.
"Leandra?" Carlisle asked, concerned. My smile eased his concern, though. I noticed that immediately.
I couldn't begin to describe my happiness. Like I might explode at the amount of it. Like I wanted to cry, but I wasn't sad. Not in the least. I had missed it, but I wasn't sad about that anymore. It felt so strange to me. I felt like a completely different person, having changed so much since the last time I saw this house. I'd changed so much, but the house had stayed so much the same. The house was as much a part of my family as the family itself was.
Emmett, seeing me standing there in the rain, left the safety of the porch to join me.
My previous problems forgotten as he lifted me. Swinging me up into his arms easily, and sitting me on his shoulder. Spinning me around, slowly by his standards. I laughed, holding on as much as I could.
"I've missed the rain." I commented when he finally stopped, "I don't wanna go inside yet."
"Good." He said, "Because I don't either." I hardly noticed Esme taking my bag from the jeep. Quickly darting back up onto the porch with it to keep it from getting wet in the rain.
At first, Emmett kept me occupied by throwing me up in the air, and catching me as I fell back down. Probably showing off, because he could show off again without any possibility of anyone seeing.
The first toss, I wasn't having that much fun, and I was scared, until he caught me easily. He knew just how to catch me so it didn't hurt to land in his arms. He'd spin me when he caught me, making me dizzy before tossing me in the air again.
The second toss, and we'd gained the attention of the others by the sound I made. Somewhere between a squeal, and a laugh.
"Emmett." Esme scolded from the porch, but I knew she wasn't upset with him.
"Higher." I requested, grinning.
One more toss, and I swear I left my stomach below me. I trusted him not to let me hit the ground, but it was still scary going up that high. Being able to see into the second floor window was high enough for me.
He didn't throw me again, despite my constant breathless laughs.
"Leandra?" Esme called, smiling from the porch, "Come get changed." That meant my room was done. I fought from Emmett's arms, and ran toward the house. Nearly tripping up the steps in my dizziness, but recovering. I raced passed Esme, straight into the house and up the hall.
I paid no attention to everything else already back in the house. My sights were on one room in particular. I caught myself on the door frame, flinging myself through the open door. Straight across the room and took a flying leap onto my bed.
I sobbed loudly in happiness as I landed face down, trying to hug the mattress. I wasn't moving. My entire room was put back together already.
"I'm never leaving my room." I announced as I bounced a little.
"Off the bed." Esme laughed behind me from the doorway, "You're still wet."
"But it's my bed." I mumbled, not lifting my face off the mattress, "I'm never, ever, ever leaving it ever again. Ever. Never, never."
"Go take a shower." Esme laughed again, "Get warm, honey." I groaned, but obeyed. I was rather cold. Doing a roll off the other side of the bed, I gathered clothes at the speed of light, hardly realizing that Esme had already put my clothes away for me. Everything was right where I left it before we left six months ago. That elated me, and I practically ran into the bathroom.
I squealed in happiness this time, as it was just like I remembered it.
I couldn't begin to describe how happy I was to be home. Like the last six months were spent on some sort of hellish vacation. Though I did love the house in New York, I was never leaving this one. I loved it too much. It provided more of a sense of safety to me. This house defined the meaning of the word to me. It was private, but open. Lighter colors instantly brightened my mood. This house was home to me.
Happier, even, than I had been with Mikah. Happier than I was with Alyssa, or Josh. Happier than I'd ever been, just by coming home after spending so much time away from it. The way it looked, the scent, the sound of the rain outside the wide open doors, I loved it. The kitchen, the hallway, the rooms, the windows and the stairs, everything about it was my favorite thing.
My warm shower couldn't be rushed, though. It felt so much better than staying soaked to the skin in cold rain. However, I still had the energy I had before the second I got out.
Now in my pajamas, I squeaked as I crossed the hall again. Taking another flying leap, and landing directly on my bed again. Cuddling my pillow to me as I stopped bouncing. I squealed again, flopping over excitedly to face the door, and hugging the pillow closer.
I wasn't in there very long. Maybe just over an hour, just enjoying being home.
"Happy?" Emmett poked his head in. I grinned, my eyes still closed, nodding vigorously, "Good, now get dressed."
"I'm not leaving." I laughed, "Never, ever."
"Come on, shorty." He laughed as well, "We want to be there waiting when they get to the airport."
"They?" I asked, confused.
"Alice, Edward and Bella." He answered, "They're coming back." I wanted to ask where they went, but I didn't. I was too cooperative to care.
"O-kay." I whined, "But the second we get back, then I'll never, ever leave."
I rolled off the bed again, and closed the door in Emmett's face.
"Five minutes, shorty." He chuckled out in the hall.
I chose a pair of baggier jeans, and a sweater. I braided my long, slightly damp hair loosely down my back, and came running out within three. Taking yet another flying leap, and landing on the couch like I landed on my bed. The couch was a bit firmer than my bed was, though, and it knocked the breath from me for a moment.
"Well, this is a pleasant change." Emmett chuckled, probably referring to my behavior, "Who knew it'd be so easy to make you so happy?"
"I never wanted to leave." I reminded him, rolling over onto my back and looking up at him.
He smiled, watching me stand up on the couch, "I don't think you've ever been like this before."
Carlisle chose then to descend the stairs, and I smiled over at him. I wanted him to see how happy I was now. He returned my smile, a little calmer of course. Emmett chuckled, and turned to walk away, but I bounced up, landing on his back like a backpack. He caught me easily, supporting my weight so I didn't fall. Hugging his neck tightly, I laughed a little. He didn't seem to mind my happiness. Nobody did.
Least of all Jasper who stood back observing calmly. I knew it was a very welcome change for him too, especially after the last few weeks. Or months. Or as long as I'd known them. I'd never felt like this before.
"You sure are affectionate when you're happy." Emmett pointed out with a laugh, "Who are you, and what have you done with shorty?"
"I'm just so happy to be home." I replied with a grin, resting my chin on his shoulder. Closing my eyes, I sighed contentedly.
I knew I'd probably drop like a ton of bricks when this excited energy left, but for right then, I didn't care. I couldn't stop smiling, and my cheeks hurt.
I eventually had to let him go, so we could get going. I took one more lap around the house, but eventually jumped into the back seat of the jeep. The same seat I'd just left.
The trip to the airport was hard to sit through, mostly because there wasn't room to run around in the back seat, but I knew I couldn't run around the airport, either. It had already started to get dark by the time we got there, and Emmett didn't trust me not to run off, so he carried me most of the way.
Which was probably a good idea, because there were people everywhere, and he apparently didn't feel like putting a leash on me.
We'd gotten there with about ten minutes to spare, so I could see why Emmett had been in a rush. We got to the spot where we had to wait, which was pretty boring. So Emmett kept me entertained by sitting me on his shoulder again. Getting us a lot of looks and laughs by those passing by.
"Why did they leave?" I asked, unable to help it anymore.
"Long story short," Emmett answered, "Eddy lost his mind there for a minute. Bella had to help him find it." I accepted that answer.
"And Alice had to get her there so she could." I added, and he chuckled, nodding, "Now I'm all caught up. Was that so hard?"
"What do you mean?"
"Nobody would tell me anything." I grumbled, "I was losing my mind."
"Well, we didn't know exactly what the heck was going on." Emmett reasoned, "It's hard to tell anyone anything when we're just as confused, shorty."
"Oh." I muttered, "Yeah, and you being confused would have just confused me, and probably freaked me out. Then I would have been confused about why I should be freaking out, and confused at all about freaking out.." I trailed off.
"Exactly." He replied, "And with you dealing with so much, I sure didn't want to be the one tossing another thing in there for you to deal with."
"Good call." I told him,"But next time, at least tell me something so I'm not stuck thinking I'm about to die, or the world is ending. I didn't even know what to think, Mister. All I knew was that it was bad."
"I'll do my best." He chuckled. Shaking her head a little, Rosalie standing beside him looked away. I'd pretty much gotten used to her being annoyed with me by then, so I didn't let that bother me.
"And that's another thing-"
"Am I really being scolded by the ten-year-old?"
"Yes." I replied simply, "Now can I finish?"
"By all means." He replied with another chuckle.
"Nobody told me that moving back here was possible." I said, "I would have seriously loved to know that like.. Months ago."
"I didn't think it was." He reasoned, and I patted his head.
"I'm not done." I grumbled, and he shut up, "I didn't think I'd ever see here again. I was freaking born here. I think I should have been told that we'd come back eventually.
"You could have just said, y'know, that eventually, we'd come back. Sure, there would have been a whole lot of bugging to come back at first, but I would have shut up about it after awhile. There I was, all thinking I'd never come back here, then all of a sudden.. Not that I'm complaining."
He grinned, "Sure sounds like it."
"I'm not complaining." I corrected, "I'm just making a point. Do you know how rough that was on me? Look, I'm getting gray hair. I think I aged thirty years just during that drive."
"Wow." He chuckled, "Oh no."
"And that reminds me." I spoke up yet again, but before I could continue on with that thought, Emmett dropped me from his shoulder. Catching me before I could really fall. I yelped, but wasn't too upset with him.
"Slow down." He laughed, "You're going to talk yourself out."
"First, you want me to talk more." I glared, "Now you're telling me to shut up? Make up your mind, man!" He tickled me, and I squirmed to my feet. Gaining enough freedom to move away a few steps. I returned to his side, glaring pointedly at him.
Once Alice, Bella and Edward got there, Emmett and I stood back while everyone else greeted them, and Esme started in on Edward's scolding. Relieved, of course, and once again, I couldn't stop smiling. Getting to see this, everyone else getting reunited, I sensed the intense relief, and I knew it had been a tad more dangerous than Emmett was letting on.
Emmett set me on my feet only to take his turn greeting Bella. Freeing me enough for me to hug Alice. She greeted me by returning the hug with a small laugh.
"We're home now." I told her, grinning.
"I heard." She replied, returning my grin, "That must be why you're so happy." I nodded.
"Not just that." I added, "But you guys are back." I looked over, meeting Bella's eyes. The other human in their life, I knew they cared about her as much as they cared about me. Glancing back, I laughed a little, "Sorry. I'm hogging her."
I released Alice so Jasper could greet her again, kissing her gently. I smiled a little, landing back beside Esme this time. She placed her arm around my shoulders, hugging me into her side as I held her hand. Watching.
Despite the way I usually never saw Edward, it had easily felt like something was missing for the last six months, but not anymore. I couldn't help it, however. I greeted Edward with a hug once I had an opening, which he returned with a chuckle.
I realized then. Bella had been what was missing before. During Christmas, when he seemed so tired, as if he'd lost the one reason to exist. That was Bella. His reason to exist was Bella. It was then I realized just how much they meant to each other.
"Thank you, by the way." I told him, "A million times, thank you."
"For?"
"What you did for me during Christmas." I replied, "I never got to thank you. You were gone before I could."
"I was so worried I'd overstepped." He admitted.
"Not at all." I said, "You don't know how easy you made it for me. There's no way I could have explained that on my own. Trust me, if I'd wanted you to shut up, I would have told you to." I looked up at him as I stepped back, "You're sticking around, right?"
"It's safe to say." He agreed with a smile. I returned his smile.
"Good." I said, giving him a nod, and turning. Esme lifted me, probably to keep me from wandering too far, "Because you cause enough trouble to keep things interesting." His smile widened, and I grinned in return. That seemed to amuse everyone else, too.
We didn't spend that much time at the airport, actually. We just had to be there to greet them. Like any family would. Edward was brave enough to be the one to take Bella home.
I did crash hard. I never even made it home before passing out. I fell straight to sleep in the back seat on the way home. I never woke up while being brought into the house, and I never woke up to my shoes being pulled off or to being placed in bed. I was out cold.
A/N: Yes. I split it. Sue me. :P (Just kidding- Please don't.)
I know this chapter is a little short compared to my others, but the other chapters' lengths should be enough to make up for this one's lack of length, right?
Luckily, the next chapter isn't going to take very long, because I pretty much edited it all together. When it got to be over 20k Word(s), I knew I had to split it.
THANK YOU to my reviewer of chapter thirteen! :D THANK YOU!
Fifteen (or Fourteen-Part 2?) will be along shortly. :) Expect a pretty decent change in that one. I know. Finally, right? Yeah. It still amazes me the way adding one little detail can change so much.
Until then, my wonderful readers! :D