I needed to hear it from Dexter

I knocked on the door and when there was no answer so I went to see if the door was unlocked and it was. I barged into the lounge area to find Dexter absent from the room. I searched all the rooms in the house until if finally came to his bed room. The door was pushed around but not completely closed and so I pushed it open.

I found Dexter tucked into bed sound asleep not having gotten out of bed after out tryst this afternoon. He looked so peaceful and beautiful in his sleep that I couldn't bring myself to wake him. I slide off my bag and shoes, putting them to the side of the door and walked to the bed and slipped under the covers next to Dex. I snuggled up to his side and kissed his forehead. He stirred and shifted, slipping his arms around me in his sleep, hugging me close to his chest and whispered my name. "Legacy." He said and I smiled, liking the fact that he thought about me in his sleep.

A sat there for a while, but then I heard a yawn and brought my head up to see a surprised face smiling back at me. "I thought that you left."
"Well, if you don't want me here, then I'll just go." I made to get up and leave again but Dexter pulled me back down, slamming my back into his chest and into a spooning position, his arms wrapping around my waist. I could feel his erect penis on my back and I smiled to myself. "I never said that I didn't want you here C. I will always want you here in my arms." He said and kissed my neck, sighing as he smelled my hair.

"Your hair is different." He stated and I grunted in agreement, I had let it grow out over the years and now it came down to just above my bottom. Before it was shoulder length but I kind of liked it long. "I like it." He said and he played with it, lifting it up into his hands and twirling it around his fingers. I got distracted by him and his embrace and forgot all about the reason I came back to see him in the first place.

I needed to know what the dark black of his aura meant, why he had killed those people, and where he had been while I wasn't here. I needed to hear him say it. I could feel Dex and his happiness at my presence but I also felt a playfulness that hadn't been there when I saw him last, ten years ago. I realised that maybe he had changed more than anyone knew. He might be dangerous, unstable.

I pulled away and sat up, turning around on the bed to face him. I looked him square in the eyes and made sure that he was paying attention. "You need to tell me what happened Dex." I said in a serious voice and he winced, all the playful ness and happiness draining out of him and what replaced it was a mix of guilt, hatred and self-loathing. When I felt that last one I hugged him; hard.

I couldn't bear to see him hate himself and I vowed then and there that whatever he had done, that I would forgive him. He needed me and right now I didn't want to let him down. I let go and sat back up again facing him but this time I took one of his hands in mine and squeezed it tightly, reassuring him that everything was going to be ok. He looked at me with adoration in his eyes and started to think of where to start.

Dexter's POV

I had to tell her, I just had to. But how could I word it in a way that she would understand. She would run away screaming if I told her the truth outright and bluntly. I needed her here with me, to help me get back to the way I was before. I wanted to change, to be the Dexter Vex I was when I met her. I was confident, strong, and happy but now I was the total opposite, weak, horrible and bitter.

So I started at the very beginning, when she left. "When you left me so suddenly, I was distraught, I couldn't function properly, didn't get out of bed for days. Finally after Ghastly came over to see if I was ok, he found me drunk, passed out in my room. He helped me sober up but that only let the pain of losing you flood back into me. I tried for so long to control myself, to behave, but all I wanted to do was let out my frustration and anger.

"I tried to distract myself with work and… and other people." I couldn't bring myself to say that I had slept with other people. I was ashamed of myself. The look on her face though, told me she understood what I was saying and sadness crippled her features. "I was angry at you, for leaving the way you did. It took me a while to realise that it wasn't your fault but I was still mad. Mad that I couldn't help you or see you, that I couldn't touch you. I thought about you every second of every day and finally I cracked.

"I was out on an assignment with Valkyrie and Skulduggery was going to meet us later on. We nearly had the bad guy but I was distracted as I saw a book on the ground of this guy's house that you had told me to read. Then I started thinking of you and didn't notice when Valkyrie had been shot. I snapped out of my daze and searched for the person who had shot her. I summoned purple electricity into my hands and threw it at them.

"I literally lit a guy on fire and stood there watching him scream with pain as the flames consumed him. There were others coming out now and I was in a rage. I punched and kicked and fought my way through them and at the end they were all dead. I didn't control myself and wound up killing people just because I got distracted and let my anger get out of control. I turned around to see Valkyrie standing next to Skulduggery looking at me with shock and horror at what I had done. It seemed that Skulduggery arrived while I was occupied.

"I had just killed five people and right in front of them. And Skulduggery was furious. You have to understand that I knew it was wrong, but the animal side of me got out of control and I couldn't stop. In the war against Malevolent this quality in a sorcerer was needed to become a warrior but only if it was directed at the opposing side. When you left me a war had started inside me, going from sane to insane at the flick of a switch. I was like that during the war too and it re-emerged.

"Skulduggery had me taken to trial for murder and he has held a grudge against me for all this time because I got distracted and let his partner get hurt. I was sent to prison for a year, a whole year of doing nothing and thinking about you some more. It hurt so much that finally I couldn't take it anymore so I tried…. I tried to kill myself… but at the last minute your face came into my mind and I realised where would this get me? What if she comes back only to find out that I had died?" I turned over my wrist to show her my scar. She looked down at my scar and ran her fingers over it, a look of worry furrowing her brows.

She leaned down and kissed my scar softly and then looked back up at me. "March 25th 2019 at 2:00 pm." She said and I stared at her. How did she know when I had done it? She couldn't possible. "I felt it. I was with Cassandra, practicing reaching out to feel people's emotions. I got as far as the sanctuary, but I felt something familiar and hurt so I followed the feelings. I found you and felt what you did. I felt the pain and suffering and I wanted so badly to go to you in that moment that I tried but Cassandra locked me away. She said I was too unstable and she was right. My magic came out and I couldn't control it at all. I hurt her Dex. I broke her arm.

"I knew you were alive so I decided to stay a bit longer. The next time I tried to find you like that you were gone, too far away for my reach." She looked extremely sad as she recalled the memory. I couldn't believe it. I had hurt her, by hurting myself. How stupid was that? I should have known but of course I was too caught up in my own pain that I hadn't been thinking about anyone else at all, not really. "I left after that. I went to America with Saracen, who was the only one who understood my pain. He lost his lover thirty years back and was sympathetic. We stayed there for five years, not doing much other than drinking, gambling and other things…"

I wanted to erase every memory I had of me cheating on Legacy but I couldn't and I felt so guilty now that she was back. "Saracen wanted to come home and so we did. I went to the sanctuary to get an update from Ghastly, who spoke to Cassandra on a regular basis but refused to tell me anything about you. I found out that you were coming back in a week. The timing was too perfect but I wasn't ready to see you.

"When you showed up at my door I thought I was dreaming. I couldn't believe my eyes. You looked so different. You have grown up a bit, not much though because of your magic, but you look at least four years older than when I last saw you. It was a surprise. A very nice surprise, but a surprise none the less. I have missed you so much Legacy and I just hope that you can forgive me for all the awful things that I did."

Legacy POV

I was astounded at how honest he was when telling his story. And I felt so guilty for making him feel this way. I had loved him and he had loved me, but it caused him so much suffering. I thought he would have moved on and found someone who could love him without hurting him but he hadn't. I was grateful for that. I could forgive everything he had done because he was honest with me and I couldn't really blame him for seeking comfort in sex. I had done the same only my outlet was a vibrator and not a human being. At least he was mine now.

"I don't blame you for the things you've done Dexter, I understand why you did them. I am so sorry for putting you through all of that. I…" A tear ran down my cheek as I said this; I couldn't help but feel responsible for all the terrible things Dexter had to go through after I left. I felt a hand on my chin and it pulled my face up to face Dex's. He looked at me with a smile on his face, meek as it was, it was still a smile. I felt love sweep over me like waves of a heater, coming from Dex. I always found that happy feelings were warm or hot and malicious feelings such as hate or anger were colder. He looked straight into my eyes and said "I love you so much for thinking it is your fault. For feeling as though you did something wrong, putting me through all of this. But it wasn't you it was the magic. You are not to blame."

I nodded, crying fully now as the weight of his words sunk in. It wasn't my fault. Then whose fault was it? Was it my parents fault for shocking me into having the surge early when they died or the fact that their lives were taken away for a reason I didn't yet know, by someone who was once considered an ally of the Irish sanctuary. I didn't really understand it all and I was so confused. The emotions of all the people I hadn't seen in so long were making me tired and I needed time to be by myself and think.

"Dexter, I need some time." I said and he let go of my chin and sat back against the head board. He looked sad and I felt that flow through me. I shut off my sensitive abilities and stood up. "I need to think without other people's emotions clouding my judgement. Every time I feel something, it is always overpowered by everyone else's thoughts or feelings and I need a break." I leaned down and kissed him on the fore head and lingered there for a moment. I stood back up and grabbed my stuff from beside the door, going to leave. Suddenly I felt a hand grab my arm and spin me around, a body pressed me up against the door.

He seemed to do this a lot, I realised as I looked up at him, seeing anger in his eyes. "Dexter, I am not leaving you or giving up on us. I just need to be by myself for a while. Not long, maybe a week or so to get everything straight in my mind." He grunted and I took that to mean that he understood. Whether or not he thought it was a good idea was apparent also, as he was trapping me here in his arms, with no way of getting out. I didn't mind so much, as I missed the feeling of his arms around me but I needed to clear my head and I couldn't do that with him next to me, distracting me. He kissed me hard on the lips and I melted into it.

Our mouths moved together in a rhythm that was familiar but I pulled away after a while. He growled at the loss of my lips and I sighed as it felt too much like a goodbye. I put my hands on his chest and pushed him away from me gently and he got the picture. I opened the door and walked out, down the hall way and to the front door. He followed me all the way there and I turned to face him, not really wanting to leave but knowing it was my only option otherwise I would get too overwhelmed, as my magic was still hard to control when around other people, especially ones who had such loud emotions such as Dexter Vex.

He grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers stepping closer to me, but not touching me anywhere but at my hand. I leaned in a bit as I took a deep breath, not being able to help myself. "I will never not be thinking about you, for every moment that you are gone. Come back soon my love." He whispered into my ear and then dropped my hand. I turned and walked out the door, feeling his gaze on my back as I walked towards the elevator. I didn't look back as I knew that if I did I would run into his arms and never leave. This was the best thing for me now and I had to do it, no matter how hard it was for both of us.