AN1: For those who don't know the extremely talented Avanwolf started writing again. That author said this story was the inspiration to pick up writing fanfiction again which completely blew me away. True story; the very first Twilight fic that I ever read was Luminescence by Avanwolf over in AO3. I'd never even read the books or watched the movies at that point but the story blew me away and got me hooked on the fandom. It's still one of my favorite fanfics I've ever read. I also have to credit that particular fic with getting the idea of the Victoria/Bella pairing in my mind and it hasn't left since.
If you haven't checked out any of the stories by Avanwolf you need to do it now. They are both incredibly amazing and deserve to be read by everyone. Trust me and do yourself the favor ;)
AN2: This is the longest chapter yet coming in at over 8k. Enjoy!
00
Bella didn't want to go back into the school where people would see her crying; her day had been mortifying enough already without the added questions and embarrassment. Instead Bella made a split second decision. Her things were already stored in her locker so she would just walk home. Or walk somewhere else as long as it was away from where she was right then. Point was she wanted to leave the school and in her distraught state doing so on foot seemed the best way to do it.
If she kept moving maybe she wouldn't have to face all of it at once.
She walked past the parking lot half expecting some teacher to yell for her to stop but no one ever did. It didn't even occur to her to take the car since it had been Victoria who had driven them to school. With a feeling like her heart had literally broken in two and red faced with tears Bella took off in the general direction of the house they were living in.
Bella walked slowly for a while in a daze, part of her mind finding refuge by trying to analyze everything that had happened. Why it had happened seemed important. In some ways it was perhaps a little masochistic but Bella was the type of person who'd rather know something painful than know nothing at all. One question kept cropping up in her mind over and over again.
Why did it hurt so damn much?
Rejection was a new feeling for Bella. She had sort of, kind of, put herself out there for Victoria even if it had been a heated slip of the tongue. What the hell had she been thinking? Obviously she hadn't been. She'd fully been expecting Victoria would reject her as soon as she'd opened her mouth. What she hadn't expected was the way she had been cut down; Victoria had let her know in no uncertain terms exactly how she felt about her. The vampire was disgusted with her and wouldn't even contemplate dirtying herself by touching Bella. The girl could handle Victoria not being attracted to her (she thought) but the vitriol with which the redhead had cut her down had utterly crushed the sensitive Bella.
Maybe the fears she had been having the day before had already come true. Maybe she had waited too long before deciding to do something about the collar and Victoria had already grown to resent and hate her. If that was the case could Bella really blame her? It hadn't been until just recently that a conversation with the vampire had made her face up to the cruel unfairness of Victoria's situation. Sure she had always known in a way but she had allowed herself to go on in denial and blissful ignorance pretending there was nothing wrong in their own little world. Now maybe she was paying the price for letting it go for so long.
Was all of it really worth the struggle? The constant fight to survive? Bella was tired of it. She was tired of the constant fear. She was tired of being constantly on the run. She was tired of always being unsure where she stood with the only person she loved and had left in the world. Except that question had been answered hadn't it?
Victoria hated her. The only rock in her life was disgusted by her. Bella was more than a little bit disgusted with herself.
None of that would change her plans though. She still couldn't let Victoria just die whenever she did. Bella would start researching a way to remove the collar safely the very next day. Then Victoria would leave. Or maybe the vampire would kill her first before she left. At that moment the idea didn't sound so bad. Bella would rather be killed by Victoria than by whatever stooge of the Volturi eventually caught up with her. Then she wouldn't have to face the aftermath of the vampire leaving.
It wasn't like she had much to live for. The life she had wasn't much of a life. Why should she keep running when sooner or later the Volturi would eventually catch up to her anyway?
Drowning in her increasingly depressing thoughts Bella failed to notice when it began to rain. The girl wandered aimlessly, turning down one road and then the other without really noticing or caring where she was going. Her life was a stressful and danger filled one and suddenly feeling like one of the few safety nets she had was tenuous at best was allowing many of her fears and insecurities climb their way from the recesses of her mind and assault her full force. The litany of everything she had lost and suffered in her short life suddenly became a mantra as Bella felt herself fall further into a hole of self-pity and doubt.
Bella didn't even notice as a silver Volvo pulled up next to her. It followed her for almost half a block before the occupant rolled down the window and called out to her.
Bella turned and looked blearily at hearing someone call her name. She stared for a few moments without comprehension before she gathered her wits and her brain started working well enough to respond.
"Alice?" she asked sounding incredulous. The tiny vampire was looking at her with a look of concern and sorrow clearly etched on her face. Alice took an unnecessary breath before speaking in a concerned tone.
"I don't remember much about being human but I do remember it's supposed to be really bad to be out walking in the cold rain. Get in the car Bella. I'll give you a ride home or wherever you want to go" she said and the obvious caring in her voice almost made Bella burst out into fresh tears.
Bella hesitated and shuffled a little, wrapping her arms around herself. "I'm not supposed to be alone with vampires" she protested weakly not looking Alice in the eye.
Alice gave her an incredulous look. "You're alone with a vampire all the time" she said slowly.
"I know I mean, it could be dangerous…" Bella rambled, knowing she wasn't making a lot of sense. Alice's concerned face came back.
"Look Bella, if I was a vampire who wanted to hurt you it would be the easiest thing in the world to snatch you up off a deserted street in the middle of a downpour. If I wanted to hurt you I would have done so already. I just want to help. Now please Bella will you get in the car?" asked Alice pleadingly. It was clear from Bella's face her resolve was starting to crack.
"I don't want to get your seats wet" protested Bella one more time.
"I have some towels here. And even if you ruined the whole car it would be worth it. Now come on get in already before you get sick."
Bella hesitated a moment longer. Looking around she realized she had no idea where she had ended up. It was also pouring rain and she was just starting to notice just how cold she really was. Her fingers felt numb and she was starting to shiver. Reluctantly she went to the passenger side and got in the car with Alice.
The little vampire looked relieved when Bella sat down and closed the passenger door behind her. Noticing that Bella was shivering she turned up the heat in the car as high as it would go and set it to full blast. Alice reached in the back seat and handed the wet girl two thick towels. Bella wondered why a vampire would keep towels in the backseat but didn't ask.
"Thanks," Bella murmured, doing the best she could to dry herself off.
"Well I wasn't just going to leave you out there in the pouring rain all by yourself," she said in a chiding tone as if it should have been self-evident.
They sat in silence for a few moments as Alice pulled the car away from the curve. Bella did her best to dry her hair and the car's impressive hot air conditioning was already starting to take some of the chill from her bones.
"So-" began Bella sounding unsure, "were you just driving by or…?"
"Or did I have a vision of you looking like a soaked rat in the rain? Nothing so dramatic. We saw you through the cafeteria windows leaving the school on foot. When it became clear you weren't coming back several of us wanted to leave and look for you but in the end I kind of insisted it should be me. I am going to be your best friend you know," she said with a teasing smile.
"And you just went out driving around looking for me?" asked Bella sounding incredulous.
"Of course. Why wouldn't I? If I'd had some other way of finding you easier I would have done that instead but you have to make due with what you got," she replied saucily.
Bella was quiet for a long moment. "Thanks" she murmured.
"Well," began Alice in a softer tone "you were looking mighty upset when you left. I knew it was going to rain and I thought maybe you could use somebody to talk to. That's the sort of thing friends do right?" she said sounding a little unsure, as if she wasn't really sure what it was that friends were supposed to do.
Bella gave Alice a little smile. "Yeah. I think most people would say that qualifies as something a good friend would do."
Alice's smile was radiant. "Well I'm glad I did it then."
They were quiet for a little while after that, Alice driving in random directions and the both of them lost in their own thoughts. For Alice knowing the right thing to say was a little bit of challenge. She usually always knew what results she would get ahead of time but with Bella she was in the dark. Eventually the short haired vampire ventured to ask what was on her mind.
"So what happened?" she asked.
Bella let out a breath. "Not sure I wanna talk about it."
"Does it have something to do with a certain red headed vampire?" asked Alice cautiously.
Bella let out a little huff of what might have been laugher. "Is it really that obvious?"
"Kinda, yeah. You went off to talk to her and next thing you're walking off the campus in tears. It wasn't hard to piece two and two together."
"Oh God," said Bella feeling mortified "did everyone see that? I didn't even realize I walked right past the cafeteria windows."
"You were a bit far so only us vampires really got a good look at you. Emmett got really upset. Edward seemed torn between wanting to go after you and wanting to go find Andromeda. Luckily we eventually got him to do neither. He's a nice guy but he's too much of a hothead."
"They really got upset?" Bella asked, her tone disbelieving.
"Yes really. Emmett took a real shining to you when he met you, I think the fact you were willing to joke with him even though you were really uncomfortable kind of endeared you to him. As for Edward well… he did ask you out. It's probably safe to assume he likes you based on that," said Alice a little reluctantly.
Bella made a little thoughtful noise at that, part of her disbelieving that these people she had just barely met gave two figs about her. Still, somehow, hearing that they did managed to make her feel just a tiny bit better. She looked at the small vampire next to her. Bella still didn't really know why Alice cared at all about her but she was grateful for it. Who knew where she would have ended up wandering around in the rain?
"I don't think I was thinking very clearly when I stormed off," admitted Bella reluctantly.
"Pretty sure that's a young human's prerogative. It's much the same with newborns. Too many hormones and not enough thinking at times. If your heart is in the right place that's all that really matters."
"Not with me. I can't afford to just let my emotions make me do something stupid," said Bella.
"Why not?" asked Alice, a little surprised by the statement.
That's when Bella realized that maybe she'd said too much. Her current state wasn't making it easy to keep her guard up and keep what she was supposed to be saying and not saying straight. She couldn't tell Alice that acting stupid could draw attention to herself and get her killed. Not that she thought she would fight all that hard to defend herself at that very moment.
"I just can't. It's complicated" she said, too emotionally drained to try and come up with any convincing lie.
Alice didn't look too convinced or happy but let it go. They drove around in silence for a few more minutes before the vampire spoke again.
"So you're really not going to tell me what the fight was about?" asked Alice.
Bella thought about it. There was no way she was going to tell Alice the whole story. She would have to reveal things she wasn't willing to right then and the whole thing had been far too humiliating for her to want to talk about. Bella liked Alice, was beginning to like her a great deal actually, but if she opened up that can of worms it would make all the Cullens more curious and that was the last thing she needed.
Still, Bella strangely found that she did want to talk about it even if it was in vague and general terms. She thought carefully about what she would say before she began.
"Our relationship has always been a complicated one. I thought maybe there was something there that wasn't. Things got heated between us and things got ugly and hurtful. I think she almost killed me with what she said" said Bella with far more candor than she had planned. She sniffled as moisture threatened to gather in her eyes again.
Alice's face was so sympathetic and somehow that made Bella feel better and worse at the same time. The vampire gave her a long searching look before her face turned resolute.
"We need to get you some dry clothes and you need someone to talk to. I'm taking you to my house."
Bella visibly paled at that. As comfortable as Bella was starting to feel with at least one of the Cullens she wasn't ready to be in a house full of them.
Alice must have correctly interpreted the distress on her face because she continued in a more placating tone. "Don't worry no one will be at the house except for Esme. She's the kindest and most harmless out of all of us and I really think you should talk to her."
"Why?" asked Bella genuinely bewildered.
"Esme just… always knows what to say. I guess you could say she's sort of like the family therapist. I don't think I can do much to make you feel better if you can't or won't talk about what's going on but Esme can. She can help you make sense of whatever is going on and I guarantee you it will help. Please just trust me? I really hate seeing you like this and not being able to do anything about it" said Alice looking at her with big pleading soulful eyes. She seemed genuinely distressed that she couldn't do anything to help Bella with her current emotional crisis.
Bella hesitated but she only lasted so long under Alice's wide eyed look. She was far too emotionally drained and exhausted to put up much of a fight. Part of her knew Tori would not be happy but she pushed that though painfully to the side. Bella didn't feel like being too concerned about what Victoria would and would not want her to do right then and there.
The human girl slumped in her seat and closed her eyes. "Ok Alice. Let's go to your house."
00
Esme took one look at Bella before rushing over and enveloping the girl in a hug. Bella went stiff as a board at the unexpected contact.
If Esme noticed her reaction she completely ignored it.
The Cullen matriarch pulled back but kept her hands on Bella looking her over with concerned eyes. "Dear you're soaking wet and you look like you're freezing! We need to find something for you to change in to."
Bella swallowed and shifted, feeling somewhat overwhelmed by the amount of motherly concern being shown. "I'm fine" she argued half-heartedly though in truth she wasn't. As soon as she had stepped out of the pleasantly warm car she'd started to feel deathly cold. Esme however would have none of her excuses.
She grabbed Bella's hand and started leading her gently up the stairs. "I think you're about my size. How about I set out some clothes for you and you can take a hot shower? Then I should make you something hot. Do you like tea?" she asked, her voice full of sincerity and concern.
Bella could only nod absently overwhelmed by this near total stranger mothering her and treating her like she was one of her own. She glanced back behind her where Alice was trailing behind them. The petite vampire gave her a reassuring smile and a little shrug of her shoulders which Bella took to mean this was par for the course with Esme. Too overwhelmed by her day to argue Bella allowed herself to be led and decided to just accept whatever came next.
Esme ushered her into a bathroom on the second floor and reached into a cabinet to get her a thick luxurious towel. She handed it to her with a tenderness that should not have existed in something as simple as handing another human being a towel. For a moment Bella was overwhelmed by memories of her own deceased mother.
"Go on and take a hot shower. I'll go find you something to wear and leave it in here for you. Then when you're ready come downstairs and we can have a little tea, ok?" said Esme gently.
Bella just nodded as she hugged the towel to herself. Alice who was standing behind Esme just gave her a little mouthed see you in a bit. Both the vampires left and closed the door behind them leaving Bella alone in the strange bathroom.
The house was warmer than outside but it wasn't exactly balmy either. Bella quickly got out of her wet clothes and got in the shower putting the hot water as high as she could stand it. It didn't take long for her to feel like she was beginning to thaw and it occurred to her that fall in Washington wasn't a place to go about soaking wet outside.
Bella closed her eyes and propped herself up against the wall of the shower with her eyes closed. What was she even doing there? Part of her screamed she was being unbelievably stupid being in that house all by herself. She still had her rings and bracelets but no wand, no coat and no Victoria. She could defend herself but didn't like her odds. On the bright side if the vampires let her leave without a fuss maybe that meant they really were as nice as they appeared.
Bella heard the door open and Esme's voice spoke. "I hope what I picked out is ok. Just something warm and comfortable. Alice mentioned you might want to talk. Take your time and I'll be downstairs. Call if you need anything and I'll be able to hear you."
The girl nodded in the shower before she realized Esme couldn't see her. "Thanks" she said feeling a little awkward having the other woman in the bathroom while she was in the shower. Bella didn't relax until she heard the door close.
She didn't linger too long, cleaning herself with a mango scented body wash and deciding to worry about her hair when she got home. Stepping out of the shower she saw that Esme has laid out a thick comfortable pair of sweat pants along with a simple shirt, socks and a sweater. They all looked very expensive and she felt a little awkward putting them on since she had never wanted or bothered with anything nicer than could be found in a department store. She noticed her wet clothes were gone. It seemed that Esme's household mother hen routine was no joke. She wouldn't be surprised if her clothes were washed and dried before she left.
As nice as it was it mostly made her nostalgic for a time when she did have a home and family of her own.
Bella hesitantly made her way downstairs half afraid someone would jump out of the shadows and demand to know what she was doing in their house. No one appeared however, out of the shadows or otherwise, and when she reached downstairs she found Esme seated in a small breakfast table reading a magazine. As soon as she came in sight Esme put down the magazine and motioned for her to come over.
"Please sit. I made us some tea and I'm also told human American girls like to eat ice cream when something is troubling them. I set some out just in case you wanted any."
Indeed there was a pot of tea on the table and two pints of some fancy brand of ice cream, one vanilla and one chocolate. It seemed no one had told Esme that tea and ice cream went horribly together but it was such a sweet gesture she couldn't bring herself to turn it down. Quietly she scooped half a scoop of each flavor into the bowl in front of her and went about mashing the two flavors together. She always liked her ice cream to be more cream and less ice.
She noticed Esme was actually sipping tea and felt compelled to ask her about it. "You drink tea?" she asked curiously. Vampires generally abstained from anything except blood. Well Victoria drank alcohol sometimes but she didn't know how normal that was amongst their kind.
"Occasionally. It wasn't really pleasant at first but I found myself in a situation where it would have been suspicious if I didn't drink tea with a group of chatty socialite women. Eventually the taste kind of grew on me. No one else in my family will touch it though. Do you like tea?"
"I do" Bella replied. While she didn't always go out of her way to make it she did like it. It was her substitute for coffee as she normally she couldn't stand the stuff without gobs of cream and sugar. Just to be polite she sipped the steaming cup of tea in front of her. She had no idea if it tasted good or not since the flavor all went to hell when mixed with the ice cream she had just been eating.
"It's good," said Bella with a small smile. She was pretty sure it was good. It smelled expensive and good at any rate.
"I'm glad," said Esme with an indulgent smile "do you want anything else to eat? We have a fully stocked pantry full of things. We need to buy all sorts of groceries on a regular basis as to not arouse any suspicion so we have plenty in case you're hungry."
Bella shook her head. As she spooned more ice cream into her mouth she looked around and noticed something was missing.
"Where's Alice?" Bella asked.
"She left to give us a bit of privacy. You remember what my ability is don't you Bella?" asked Esme as she sipped from her cup.
"I remember. Look into the hearts and souls of others right?" asked Bella. She was starting to relax around Esme, the ice cream she was eating doing more to put her at ease than she would have thought possible. It was kind of hard to imagine yourself in danger when people were feeding you ice cream.
Esme nodded. "I like to think of my gift as understanding people. Things like their loves, desires, motivations and what's truly important to them. It gives me something of a unique perspective that is hard for me to explain to other people. One of the things it does help me do though is help people work through their problems and difficulties. It's a side effect of my gift but one I find to be nearly priceless."
Bella took a moment to digest that. "So you want to help me then?"
"Yes. Very much."
"How? And also why?" asked Bella bewildered.
Esme just shrugged. "You are very beautiful on the inside Bella and that alone makes me want to help you. I think it's also in my nature to try to help people when I can. As a vampire there are only so many people I can offer any kind of help directly. Trust me I may be doing something nice for you but you're also doing something rather nice for me by allowing me to help."
Bella was just the tiniest bit annoyed that Esme assumed she would take her up on her offer but she let go of that feeling almost as soon as it cropped up. If Esme thought she could help, what did she have to lose? Bella was aware enough to realize she was in a bad emotional place right now and would probably end up doing something stupid without a little perspective. Not to mention she felt like death warmed over. Maybe Esme and her magical vampire shrink powers were something she needed.
"Alice probably told you but I'm not really comfortable talking about what happened," said Bella hoping that wasn't some kind of deal breaker.
"That's fine," said Esme with a smile "you don't have to talk about what happened. You just have to talk about how you feel."
"Ok," said Bella putting her spoon down in her now empty bowl "so, um how do we do this?" she asked a little nervously.
"Well now we talk. Would it be ok if I started out asking you a few things?"
"Sure I guess."
"Can you tell me how you're feeling right now about the disagreement you had?"
Disagreement? That was a sanitized way of putting it. Bella sighed sadly. "Ugh, lost. Heartbroken. Afraid. Wounded. Disappointed. Angry and resentful. And probably about fifty other things I can't find words for right now."
Esme hummed in understanding. "Why was it so bad this time? Surely the two of you have had fights before."
Bella let out a deep sigh. "I accidentally let something slip that made me feel very vulnerable. Then she responded to that in the most cruel and painful way I can imagine" Bella shook her head. "Thing is I don't think she was lying to hurt me. I think she was telling the truth and that just makes it a hundred times worse."
Esme was quiet for a minute and sipped a bit of tea before she spoke. "What was your emotional state when these things were said? The both of you?"
"I don't know. We were both angry I guess, arguing really heatedly. It was pretty bad to be honest."
"So heated you said something you didn't quite want to say?"
"Well, yeah."
"Have you always made the best decisions when you're upset?"
"No."
"In the same vein I'd wager the same is true for Andromeda. Bella you can't take to heart things said in anger. People very often say things they don't really mean when they're upset."
Bella wasn't convinced. "Maybe she wouldn't have said what she did unless she was angry but she did mean what she said. I'm sure of it," said the girl wilting in her seat.
"How do you know?"
"What?"
"How do you know for sure that she really meant what she said? You said she was cruel on purpose. How do you know she didn't make up what she said to deliberately hurt you?"
Bella was quiet at that. "I-I don't know."
"Don't you think that's maybe a possibility?"
"Ugh, I guess so. Maybe." She said but didn't sound entirely convinced.
Esme regarded her for a long moment. She put down her cup of tea and her tone shifted from sympathetic and maternal to a slightly more lecturing tone.
"The human mind is a funny thing, riddled with habits and tendencies that often seem to have no basis in logic or reason. It is often all about emotion and emotion can be both our greatest friend and source of pleasure and our worst enemy. One of the more interesting tendencies people have is that they are often quick and eager to believe something they are afraid of is true. When someone is afraid they are being lied to they often start to see liars and deception around every corner. If someone is afraid of being betrayed something innocuous can turn into definite proof that someone is out to get them. For many it is a natural tendency to believe all our worst fears will come to pass."
Bella absorbed all this with a little frown. "Why are you trying to convince me of this? You didn't hear what was said. You don't know."
"I'm trying to convince you that the hurtful things said in a moment of anger do not necessarily represent someone's 'real feelings' that they have been hiding from you. That's just your fear talking. You won't really know how she feels for sure until you ask her again once she's calmed down. You can see the sense in that can't you?" asked Esme kindly.
Bella looked down and nodded. What Esme said made sense even if her first impulse was still to think the worst and go down a pit of despair.
The elder vampire reached out and took hold of Bella's hand surprising the other girl. She locked eyes with Bella and the witch found herself entranced in those kindly yellow orbs.
"I've seen inside the both of you" said Esme, her voice taking on a quiet and gentle authority that could not be doubted "and I can put your mind at ease by telling you this; whatever was said, whatever was done Andromeda doesn't hate you. She may be conflicted or confused about her feelings for you but she could never truly hate you. Be patient with her. Her life has been a lot harder then you know."
00
It wasn't much longer after that when Alice came back. She must have seen something she liked because she was all smiles when she came up to where Esme and Bella were still sitting.
"It went well?" she asked enthusiastically looking back and forth between them.
"I think so" said Bella a little self-consciously. And she wasn't lying. While she wasn't nearly up to a hundred percent she was no longer teetering on the edge where death sounded like a reasonable option. Bella still felt awful but she was going to listen to Esme's advice. She needed to sit down and have a talk with Victoria when neither of them was riding high on charged emotions.
There weren't words to describe how much she wasn't looking forward to that but it really was something that needed to happen.
"Everyone should be getting home soon. We should get going if you don't want to get swamped by everyone," said Alice.
She was glad Alice was thinking of these things. There was no way she could handle dealing with a crowd of vampires right then. "Ok. Yeah let's get going," she said giving Alice a little grateful smile.
Bella stood and Esme stood with her. The elder vampire walked them to the door. Bella turned to say goodbye and found herself wrapped up in another hug. This time Bella only tensed for a few brief seconds before she relaxed into the embrace.
"Thank you Esme. For everything. I mean it," said Bella, her voice sincere and heartfelt.
"You're welcome dear. Anytime you want to talk my door is open" said Esme. She pulled back from and looked with concerned and affectionate eyes. "Just one last piece of advice if you don't mind" said Esme "don't let your issues with Andromeda consume you. Find something else to do, something just for yourself. It would be good for you and eventually good for your relationship as well."
Bella took a deep breath. "Maybe I'll do that" she said sincerely. With one last grateful smile Bella turned and followed Alice out the door.
The drive out of the property was quiet, Alice sensing that Bella needed time to process and sort everything out. Before long though the pixie vampire had to break the silence.
"So um, where do you live?" asked Alice.
Bella looked over with some surprise. "Tori thought for sure you guys would have tracked down where we were staying the very first day."
Alice looked a little guilty at that. "Well Jasper did but I only know the general area. I'm not sure exactly which house it is."
Bella gave her directions. It didn't take long in tiny Forks for them to arrive at their destination. To Bella's sudden dread their car was in the driveway. Victoria was home.
"Here," said Alice holding out her hand "give me your phone."
Bella gave her a questioning look but did as she asked. Alice proceeded to input a lot of things at vampire speed for almost a minute.
"There, now you have my number and contact information along with that of my whole family. If you need to get away for a while just call me and I'll come get you. We can hang out or something. Ok?"
Bella felt a lump in her throat. "Thanks Alice. You really are pretty good at this friend thing."
Her answering smile was like the sun coming out. "Well I try. Good luck. I'll see you soon."
Bella surprised the vampire by reaching over and giving her a quick hug before letting go almost as fast. Feeling a little awkward at her spontaneous show of affection Bella quickly got out of the car. With one last wave Alice drove off leaving Bella alone in front of the house she was staying in.
The teenager faced the door and took a deep breath. Time to face the music.
00
Bella expected Victoria to be mad when she walked through the door. She had disappeared in the middle of the day, been hanging out with some of the Cullens alone when she'd been told not to and had turned her phone off as soon as she had left the school. Visions of anger and broken furniture filled the teen's mind.
Instead she found Victoria sitting on the couch in the living room watching television, a rare thing for her. Her red eyes slid towards Bella as the girl closed the door and stood by it awkwardly, fully expecting a dressing down and mentally preparing herself to give back just as good if she had to.
Instead of anger Victoria's face showed concern and worry. She deliberately scented the air and a small frown crossed her brow.
"Alice and Esme?" she asked calmly. How calmly she seemed to be taking this was throwing Bella off balance.
"Yeah," she replied cautiously as if she were talking to a wild animal.
"You were at their house" said Victoria calmly yet again, though there was a hint of accusation in her voice.
"That's right" said Bella, feeling that she had done something wrong but unwilling to apologize for it at the same time.
Victoria studied her for a long moment making Bella fidget nervously in place. A sudden look of pain crossed Victoria's features and for the life of her Bella couldn't figure out what it was for. As soon as the look came it was gone again replaced by her familiar impassive mask.
"Just don't do it again," was all she said before turning back to the television and seemingly ignoring Bella.
Bella was confused but unwilling to push her luck. Even though there were extenuating circumstances she knew what she had done had been irresponsible. She quickly walked past the couch and headed to her room.
"Bella" Victoria's voice called out to her from behind as she was halfway to her room. Bella froze and waited for her to continue.
Victoria seemed to struggle with her words before she finally spoke. "You know getting too close to them can't end well right? We'll have to move soon but even that isn't the biggest problem. If the Volturi find out the Cullens know you they will most likely demand that they hand you over to them. No matter how much they might like you they won't risk the Volturi destroying their whole family for your sake. There are reasons I was trying to warn you not to get too close."
Bella clenched her fists fingernails digging painfully into her hands. She hadn't thought about that but it was obviously true. It hurt. Until that moment she hadn't realized how quickly she had become attached to Alice and Esme both, Alice who wanted to be her best friend and Esme who felt something like a surrogate mother.
But they would never put their family in danger for her. How could she expect them to? She wouldn't want anyone doing that for her. Bella would feel terrible if anyone did.
"Just don't get any closer to them than you have to" said Victoria in an uncharacteristically gentle tone. "I-… I don't want to see you getting hurt" she said, and it sounded like the admission cost her something.
Bella however only heard the words. She whirled on Victoria, looking incredulous. "Well it's a little bit late for that isn't it?" she spat putting all her anger and frustrations into the words. Without waiting for a response she stormed off into her room slamming the door behind her.
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In her room Bella fumed. In her own head she ranted and raved. She even cried some more for good measure. Since arriving in Forks everything had been so intense it was overwhelming. Bella needed to take some time by herself to make sense of it all so she didn't feel like she was going crazy.
Once she had been alone Bella had gotten irrationally furious that Victoria had just acted like nothing at all had happened between them when she got home. Like she hadn't just humiliated her and crushed her and made her run off in tears earlier that day. An apology would have been nice even though she couldn't remember the last time she heard Victoria apologize for anything. Or at least… something. Anything. Some acknowledgement of what had happened would have been nice.
She was also reeling from the realization that none of the Cullens could ever truly be people she could care about unconditionally and rely upon. It was a heavy blow and one she honestly should have seen coming. It was so obvious, why hadn't she realized it before she'd started getting attached? She had been warned but she hadn't listened.
It was all too much and Bella realized with dread that nothing would be resolved if she didn't follow Esme's advice and sit down and have a very uncomfortable conversation with Victoria. Bella knew she needed to do it. She just wasn't going to do it right in that moment. Or maybe even that week. The prospect was just too daunting. Hadn't Victoria crushed her enough already? Because she was sure that would be the outcome of their talk.
At some point in the evening she heard the front door closed and knew that Victoria had left for a while. Part of her sagged in relief that she was out. Normally it brought a sense of comfort and security to know that Victoria was in the house with her but that day it seemed to be just the opposite. Now that Victoria was gone she could maybe do something she had been thinking about.
Esme's other piece of advice had been to do something for herself and not dwell on the situation with Victoria. She was also upset with Victoria and didn't feel like following all her rules. Bella wanted to do something different. She wanted to do something fun. Bella was a little nervous about what she was going to do but resolved to do it anyway. With that in mind she picked up the phone and dialed.
"Hello?" came the voice from the other side.
"Edward? Hi it's Bella. Listen did you still want to go out and do something?"
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Bella had insisted they go out the very next day, Thursday instead of Friday. Edward probably thought she was just eager to go out with him and she didn't correct him. The truth was that as soon as she had agreed to the date over the phone a ball of dread had started building in her stomach. Tori was not going to take it well. Maybe she should have thought it through a little more before agreeing to go on the date. She didn't think she could have lasted an extra day with the building anxiety inside her.
The next day at school was something of a blur and she and Victoria didn't say more than two words to each other. Edward seemed very enthused about their upcoming date during first period and Bella smiled and said she felt the same even though she was already having second thoughts. It had been an impulsive decision to agree to the date but she felt it was too late to back out now.
Alice didn't say anything about the date even though Bella was almost a hundred percent sure she knew. She didn't know if it was Alice's intuition or her visions that let her know Bella didn't want to talk about it but either way she was grateful. However the concerned looks she caught Alice occasionally sending her way didn't do a great deal to put her mind at ease.
When she got home it was a few hours before Edward was supposed to pick her up at six. Bella took her time to shower, put on some light makeup and dressed casually. She wasn't sure what message she wanted to send so she just settled on jeans and a nice top. After some debate she decided to put on her enchanted leather jacket. It was something of a security blanket and she already felt jittery enough about the upcoming date. After some further debate she decided to leave her wand at home. If Edward saw it it would be hard to explain and she wasn't exactly helpless without it. It just meant she would have less flexibility with her magic.
A few minutes before six Edward texted that he was waiting outside. With a deep breath Bella texted him that she'd be out in just a few minutes. Running her fingers through her hair and gathering up her courage and stepped out of her room.
As she neared the front door she didn't see Victoria anywhere. Maybe she could sneak out without the vampire finding out?
"You can't go out." Came the familiar voice behind her.
Well so much for that idea.
"What?" asked Bella. She was already getting her hackles up. If Victoria didn't care for her then she couldn't tell her what she could and couldn't do.
"Wherever you're going you can't go. It's dangerous." Victoria said simply.
Bella whirled to face the vampire. "How did you find out I was going out with Edward?"
A look of genuine surprise crossed Victoria's features. "You're going out with Edward? I thought you'd be meeting Alice for girl time or something stupid like that."
Bella crossed her arms in front of her. "Well I'm not. I'm going out with Edward. On a date. And like I told you yesterday you can't stop me from dating whoever I want."
Victoria's fingers curled into claws. "You stupid, infuriating girl…" she hissed out "I just told you you can't go. It's dangerous."
"You always think everything is dangerous. The Cullens are nice people."
"I don't mean it like that Bella. I mean it the other way. I'm the one who can sense if we're walking into something dangerous remember? Wherever you're going right now could get you killed. You're. Not. Going," said Victoria punctuating her statement by stepping directly into Bella's personal space.
At any other time Bella would have listened to Victoria's warnings without questions. Her powers had saved them and kept them one step ahead of danger countless times before after all and Bella knew that. This time however Bella still wasn't thinking entirely rationally given what had happened the day before. Instead of heeding Victoria's warning she chose to look at it in the worst possible light.
"So this is what it's come down to? You're trying to manipulate me into not dating like you want me to by saying my life is in danger? Well excuse me if I don't believe you. It seems mighty convenient that I'm suddenly in danger. If I'm so disgusting to you why are you trying so hard from keeping me from going on a date with somebody else?" replied Bella hotly.
Victoria's eyes widened in surprise at her answer before they narrowed on her, her eyes going from cherry red to the color of dark blood. "I know we have some issues to resolve right now but I never kid around when it comes to your safety. Grow up. This is more than about you having a stupid infatuation with that mentally deficient pretty boy animal drinking child."
Bella however was unmoved. "Is that all you have to say? Well screw you Victoria. I don't believe you, and even if it's true I can take care of myself. Goodbye. I'm late for my date." With that Bella turned and stalked towards the door.
Bella got two steps before she felt a hand grab her arm. She cried out in surprise as Victoria flung her none too gently towards the couch. The girl hit the back of her legs on the couch and ended up sitting down heavily. When she looked up she found Victoria looming over her, her eyes threatening to change from red to black. Bella just gaped at the redhead for a few moments. Victoria had never manhandled her unless it was a life or death situation.
"Stop being an obstinate ass. If I have to keep you here by force all night then that's what I'm going to do. I am not letting you walk out that door," she said, her voice getting deeper and more gravelly as her emotions rose.
Bella swallowed, suddenly feeling intimidated. "You've never pushed me around before," she said, sounding young and a little wounded.
"I've never had to before. You usually just do what you're told."
Something about that statement rubbed Bella the wrong way. "Maybe I don't just want to do what I'm told."
"That's just too bad. I'm still not letting you leave. You're obviously too emotional to properly look after yourself right now."
"And who gets to decide when I get to make my own decisions? You?"
"Do you see anyone else around? But we're getting a little bit off topic. Pull out your phone and tell Edward you won't be going out with him. Now."
Bella pulled out her phone almost without thinking about it, that's how used she was to following Victoria's instructions when she got that tone. She was going to dial Edward's number when she hesitated. Was she really doing this just because Victoria told her to?
No. If Victoria was going to be out of her life eventually she needed to start feeling more independent. She couldn't continue to just let Victoria make all the decisions like she had in the past. Agreeing with Victoria right then felt too much like giving up and going back into her old routine. If Victoria truly despised her that wasn't something she could bear to do.
Resolve filled Bella's eyes. If she was going to go on that date there was only one way she was going to be able to walk out that door.
"Step back please," she said quietly lacing a tiny bit of magic into her voice.
Victoria roared at her, a loud and menacing sound that made Bella tense up in instinctive fright. Her eyes turned pitch black and her fangs dropped as she stared hatefully at the girl. Still Victoria was powerless to resist the magic of the collar. With slow hesitant steps the vampire stepped backwards giving Bella some room.
As Bella stood up she avoided meeting Victoria's gaze. She felt guilty for doing this but she wasn't about to be bullied into not going on this date by Victoria.
When Bella looked up the vampire was looking at her with eyes so angry and hateful the girl wanted to run and hide on the opposite side of the house. Before she could speak Victoria beat her to it.
"You retarded, useless, incompetent meat bag. You're going to get yourself killed. If I could I'd kill you myself for doing something this stupid. Maybe it would be better if you did die and put us both out of our misery." She spat her words and they were heavy with scorn, anger and loathing. Despite their problems the words still hurt Bella deeply.
Bella took a deep shaky breath. She would not start crying right then and there.
"Stay at least five miles away from me while I'm out on my date. Don't bother me while I'm on my date." She hesitated before adding "I'll see you later."
Victoria said nothing but just stood, seething, unable to do anything about it. Feeling the heavy weight of guilt in her chest Bella left to go on her date.
She just hoped that Port Angeles and Edward would let her forget about what a mess her life had become for a few hours.
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"It's finally finished father."
"Did you get them all?"
"Yes the detection grids are up in all the big cities on my list. Kent, Yakima, Renton, Port Angeles-"
"Yeah yeah you don't have to do through the whole list. Well I suppose all we have to do now is wait."
"You sure the girl will show up?"
"If your information was good. Sacrificing a witch would have been quite the waste if the information turns out to be a dud. Still it's worth the risk for the amount of money that's on the line."
"And after she shows up?"
"We load up the buses with the boys and go hunting. She's young but supposedly very powerful. This is gonna be loads of fun."
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Dun dun dun! I really hoped you liked it. Next chapter the **** really hits the fan. Like always more reviews mean faster updates :)