AN: Sorry for the long wait! But i finally got this one up and plan on a couple more in the next few days! Hope you enjoy!
"You're very welcome Barnes. You can call me Tony, or you know anything that shows off my awesomeness?" The billionaire moved closer and comradely shook his hand.
He gave a perplexed look and glanced over at Barton who snorted and shook his head. "He won't even call me by my given name yet, besides, he would totally agree with me and call you Shellhead."
"No not another one!" Stark moaned jokingly as he pulled away and began to move around, gathering tools. "You can't become Katniss's best friend! No way! Hey wait; if you're Steve's best friend, you're not a total tight ass like Capsicle are you?"
Barnes was unsure how to respond to him, but it didn't take long for James to be laughing in the back of his head.
'Steve? A tight ass? Ha! He's the biggest punk that has ever lived. Think of all the fights he's been in.'
'All of those were for good reasons though, right?' Barnes wondered, trying to concentrate on a particular one.
'Course they were, always in defense of someone else. Doesn't change the fact that he was lucky to only be arrested once!'
A strange feeling bubbled in his chest and then Barnes was laughing, a solid picture of Steve's bruised and pissed face as he lectured him while the blonde stood in the downtown police station coming to his thoughts. He clutched his stomach, the new feeling almost painful, as he laughed until he couldn't breathe.
Barton and Stark were staring at him as he slowly calmed his breathing, both of their expressions almost afraid.
"You okay there buddy?" The latter asked cautiously. "Did I break you?"
He shook his head and took one more deep inhale to right his breathing. "Yes I am fine. The laughter was at what you said. I was remembering the time Steve got arrested for starting a bar fight."
"What!" They both exclaimed.
He nodded a look of deep concentration on his face as he focused on the details. "I drug him out dancing for some reason, and he was at the bar where these huge guys were harassing a lone dame. I think he pretty much told them to fuck off and leave her alone, and then was in a fight with half the bar. I had to bodily drag him away, but then he and the two guys were arrested."
The other two burst into their own explosions of laughter and Stark shook his head with a look of disbelief. Barnes resisted a sigh and lifted his arm almost pointedly.
The engineer took a deep breath to calm the laughter and then gave a couple belated chuckles. "Damn. And here I was thinking that Steve was all goody-two-shoes."
"Why would you be so certain of that? As far as I remember that man ignores rules, instructions, and common sense more than is healthy."
"No not like that. We know he makes his own rule book. He's just like, the rescuing kittens from trees; help little old ladies across the street, no sex till marriage kind a guy."
'Correct him.' James said with an obnoxious tone. 'You know Steve's had sex.'
He groaned internally. Wasn't he unsure if his more intimate memories of he and the Captain were real or not? Couldn't he possibly be inventing things his subconscious wanted to be true?
'Just trust me. I haven't told you a false memory yet have I?'
James was right there, so he sighed and returned his attention to Stark.
"Steve and I have had sex." As soon as he said it, his expression turned comically wide. Like every other memory he had voiced out loud, this one came back to him too, not just as an impression or feeling. He knew it was a memory.
"Shit Barnes!" Tony exclaimed, dropping the tools in his hand to the floor. "You can't just spring something like that on a man!"
Barnes ignored him for a moment, the heavy realization that he truly had loved his Captain, that they were actually in love, hitting him hard. He didn't know how to respond, how to think, and most of all, how to feel that love again. It was daunting and painful and he was once again filled with the urge to just run and hide for the rest of his life.
'Conterproductive!'
'You are a broken record!' He thought angrily but gave a resigned sigh and looked back to Starks face.
"What were you saying?"
Stark grinned and gave him a perplexed look. "Are you sure we're talking about the same Steve? Also, where the hell do you keep going?"
"He's talking to James. His subconscious, memories, whatever you wanna call him." Clint supplied for him. "It's how he keeps everything straight in his head."
"Huh. Well that's pretty cool. So, same Steve right?"
Barnes snorted and nodded his head. "Only Steve we both know. He and I were in a romantic relationship for," he hesitated and sighed when no number came to mind, "well a long time I think. Marriage is illegal, so of course we had sex."
"You're killing me here!" The billionaire cried with a laugh. "Arrested and illegal sex, damn so much blackmail! I like you Barnes, you're my friend. I decided."
"Okay?" he stated, startled by the man's declaration of friendship.
Stark just continued to chuckle and shake his head in amazement as he got back to work. He lifted Barnes's arm and went straight to fixing up the damage. "So insane. I'm still having a hard time processing this. Any more awesome stories?"
He shrugged his right shoulder. "Hardly any are there. Sometimes words or thoughts trigger them, but it's not a lot."
"You obviously love him. Why don't you want to see him?" His voice was slightly muffled by the mask he put on to avoid sparks, but Barnes had heard him loud and clear and sighed.
"Not like this. A huge part of me is the Winter Soldier still. I can't be around him while it lurks behind my mind. It's not safe."
"Don't you have the other part of your brain? James or whatever?"
"He really isn't enough. I associate him, his thoughts, feelings, memories anything he can do really as Bucky. And myself, the one speaking to you, controlling my body, well I'm still the Solider. When I smile, laugh, feel anything really it's like doing so for the first time. I'm still learning what life really is."
"Hey I get it. Gotta feel human before you can even think of restarting a relationship." He glanced over Barnes's body and then added. "You got any clothes?"
He nodded. "Yes Barton bought me some this afternoon before we came here."
"From Walmart?" His question was accompanied by a look of disgust and Barnes gave him a confused look.
"What's a Walmart?"
"It so wasn't Walmart." Barton stated with an offended glare.
"What's a Walmart?"
Stark laughed at his expression. "This gross obnoxious over rated awful corporate chain of stores that carries pretty much everything from groceries to car parts. The clothes there are terrible."
'One store has all of that!'
He voiced James's thought and received two grins.
"Sure does! You know that shop we went to, how big it was?"
Barnes nodded the overwhelming feeling still very present on his mind.
"Well it's like that, with the bright shiny lights and huge space with lots of people, but it carries more than just clothes."
"Sounds awful."
"See he agrees!" Stark exclaimed with an exaggerative wave of his arms. "Where'd you take him anyway, Kohl's?"
"Macy's."
Stark snorted. "Not much better! I could buy you some real clothes! Pepper can take you, she'd love that!"
"Pepper?"
"His girl." Barton answered. " She's a riot! Only person on this planet that can keep this one in line."
"Psh don't need to be in line!" Tony said brandishing the sauntering tool like a weapon. "But really Barnes, she would love you!"
"I have clothes; you don't need to buy me things." Barnes muttered guilt and a small bit of shame creeping up on him at the thought of taking money from him. "I don't really deserve your money."
"Nonsense! You totally do!"
"I'm really grateful for the offer Stark, but I have to decline. I have a sufficient amount of clothing. Barton was really kind to purchase me things."
Stark lifted the mask off his head and set that and the tools down. "If you say so. Change your mind you'll let me know?"
"I will." He agreed even though he knew that his opinion on the matter wouldn't change.
"Good man!" The billionaire said happily, patting the newly fixed lower arm and then standing and moving to a section of the room that appeared blank, but after a wave of the hand was filled with sudden holographic images and strange lasers.
Barnes made a startled movement at their sudden appearance and Stark gave him an apologetic smile.
"Didn't mean to startle you. Think you can come here real quick? I'd like to get a scan of the arm so I know what I'm working with."
He shot a look to Barton who nodded reassuringly. "Nothing invasive Barnes. The little lasers are just going to scan your arm and take pictures of it pretty much."
"Wow Legolas, way to simplify my awesomeness." Stark bemoaned, but gave Barnes a smile. "He's right though, you won't even feel it happen."
He gave a relinquishing nod and stepped into the laser's sight, lifting the metal arm up at his side. He watched as the red lights danced over it and almost gasped as a picture began to instantaneously form before their eyes.
Once it was finished he dropped the arm to his side and watched Stark lift a hand and tap on the holographic metal plates. He touched it lightly and then spread his hand, causing the diagram to explode open reveling the inside workings.
"I color coded it." Stark explained as he gestured to the large tangle of colored lines surrounding a dark mass in the middle. "The dark part is like a core, it's pretty much the arm's substitute for a bone." He explained. "There are so many different metals and alloys in it that my system wasn't able to distinguish it, but that's not really important. I'll be making a far better one anyway."
Barnes nodded in understanding, his eyes locked on the image and Starks hands as he talked.
The man then tapped on a cluster of red at the top of the shoulder. "These are your actual nerves. They are woven so tightly into these things," he tapped on the first section of yellow, "that removing this is going to be a risky process. I'm probably going to have to bring Bruce in to help, but he's bad ass too so no worries."
He hesitated at the thought of another person, but James quietly reminded him that Banner was another one of Steve's team and could be trusted, so he gave Stark another understanding nod. "Go on."
"Okay then." He went back to the yellow lines and frowned. "All of these power the arm. They're what are responsible for control, feeling, and stuff like that. Pretty much artificial nerves. They vary with function, that's why they are different shades."
He highlighted the five blue lines that extended from fingertip to a central part of the shoulder and glared at the hologram. "These I don't know what they are. They don't seem to be doing anything at all."
"They were a tracker." Barnes answered emotionlessly. "They put one in after I ran from an assignment to Cooney Island. Guess I was trying to get close to Steve even then. I ripped it out and smashed it the same day the Hellicarriers fell."
"Where was it?" Barton asked his tone appalled.
"My shoulder, behind the shoulder blade. It hooked into the arm. I had to cut it out." His frown at the thought turned into a tiny smirk. "Hurt like a bitch."
He added James's impression of the event knowing that being completely nonchalant on pain wasn't a human reaction.
"Damn!" The archer exclaimed, giving him a concerned look.
"Yikes Solja Boy!"
"What?"
"Never mind really outdated pop culture reference." Stark said waving it away. "There won't be any of those in your new one I promise. The core will be thinner too, lighter. I have a bit of vibranium left, and I'll use the rarer metals of this one." He tapped the image for emphasis. "The outer part I'll make even lighter, almost weightless okay? I'll make it so you can't tell the difference between the metal and your real flesh and blood one okay?"
"You can do that?"
"Sure will! I'm making you an arm Barnes, not a weapon. Hell, I can even make you an artificial skin to cover it if you want."
"Really!" Relief flooded him and he glanced down, lifting the two arms to study them together, only faintly able to picture what they both looked like covered in skin.
"Yeah totally. You won't be able to wear it always; you'll have to take it off to clean it, let it breath, fix the metal all that jazz. You'll probably also have to have help putting it on and taking it off, but yeah I'll make it as normal as possible." He glanced at Barnes's right arm and then added. "Think I can scan the real one so I can get the skin tone right?"
Barnes nodded, amazed that the engineer could do all of this. He lifted the arm to repeat the process from before.
"Fantastic!" Stark cried as the scan was done. "Now all I have to do is get started! You guys going to stay on Birdbrain's floor?"
"Nah, we'd rather stay at my apartment." Clint answered. "It'll be easier for us, also just in case Steve comes by you know. Barnes won't feel any pressure or awkward or anything."
"Sure thing." Stark smiled at them and waved. "Just come back in like a week okay? Now skedaddle! Let me get to this!" He grinned as he ushered them out and Barnes couldn't resist grinning back.
Late that night Barnes found himself once again standing before a mirror. It had been just a short four days since he had gone to the museum, since he had last stared at his reflection trying to see Bucky Barnes in himself and the sight he saw now was drastically different then it had been that day.
The haunted shadows in his eyes were beginning to recede and he was starting to see what Stark and Barton kept saying. A human being.
He could see his face clearly with his hair pulled behind his head, the bangs sweeping to the side, but despite the lightness in his eyes his face still appeared to be gaunt. His eyes were sunken and skin was ashen. He hated seeing what he knew was once a handsome healthy face so damaged, but he knew that only time would change it.
He actually had that time now. Not just the time, but the resources and motivation to fix himself. He had hope.