A Worm in the Apple
By Neville Longbottom
It's true, and I'll admit it. I love Harry Potter. In fact, I love him more than you can believe. So this is why you'll forgive me for what I am about to do. I am going to hurt Harry Potter. But please understand, it will be all for the greater good in the end. It will be for our love, the purest love there is. Harry never showed any real interest in me, my advances were always denied. I can't tell you how many nights I went to bed in tears over him. I am a tortured soul, yearning for love outside of my Gran's. I want a partner. Someone handsome, good-looking, and most of all, attractive. Someone strong and brave, who'll protect me from all the cruelty in the world. And that's why Harry owns my heart. However, I know for a fact Harry Potter wanted someone other than poor, round little Neville. He wanted that aristocrat bastard Draco Malfoy. And I was always left on the side, a forgotten pair of gym socks, slightly browned and with a hole in the big toe. But now I have a way to get rid of ALL the competition. That Malfoy snob may hold Harry's heart, but today I saw something unspeakable. Harry was kissing another boy in the washroom! I'd never seen him before but it doesn't matter. Tonight I will tell Malfoy what I saw and Harry will be doomed to never have a chance with him! Unless that is-
HARRY POTTER AGREES TO MARRY ME!