Disclaimer: Twilight World belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

Selfishness

"Jacob." His sister whispered softly. Jacob gave a small grunt in response. She hesitated before taking a step forward. Jacob growled and she jumped back. She gave out a sigh and turned to leave.

"Jacob, I know it hurts, but you have to at least eat." She said softly. Rachel waited for a response. When he didn't make a sound, she gave out an exhausted sigh and closed the door behind her. She stepped into the kitchen, and her father looked up to her. He raised an eyebrow, and she shook her head.

"Dad, I'm not really hungry, but you should eat. It's still nice and hot. I'm going to Paul's apartment, don't wait up." She said, heading for the door.

"Okay." Billy nodded his head.

"Thank you for dinner, and trying." He gave her a small appreciative smile. Rachel returned the smile and left. Billy rolled to the table and ate alone in silence. Tears quietly ran down his face; his family was falling apart. Oh, how he wished Sarah was still there, she would know what to do.

Rachel walked briskly to Paul's place, when she bumped into a warm embrace. Her heart jumped, before she realized who it was. She smiled and hugged him back.

"I missed you." He said gruffly. She frowned, and pulled away.

"I was only away from you for two nights." She said. Paul pulled her to him and kissed her passionately. When he pulled away, they were both breathless. Their foreheads touched and they felt each others warm breaths entangle between them. Rachel closed her eyes and savoured the familiar, warmth they gave each other.

"That's two nights too much." He whispered. Rachel sighed, and pulled away and gave him a peck in the lips before grabbing his hand. With that, they started walking back to Paul's apartment.

"You know, if you already missed me after two nights, I wonder how Jacob must feel." She thought out loud. Paul gave a pained expression, when he remembered the night Jacob phased when it was his shift to patrol. He squeezed Rachel's hand softly and walked closer to her.

"It's excruciating." He said bluntly. She nodded her head, already knowing what the answer was. They arrived at his apartment and cuddled on the sofa. Paul turned on the television, but Rachel wasn't paying attention. She was worried about her little brother. Paul sensed her discomfort and turned the television off. He turned to her and gazed at her beauty.

They've been together for about three and a half years. It wasn't a smooth ride in the beginning, it never was. Paul hated being controlled, and loved the attention he got from the girls in La Push. He loved the single life, and he had a bad temper that no one could tame. He wasn't fond of Jacob, but only because of his attachment issues with the vampire-wannabe. Imprinting with Jacob's independent older sister was something he didn't expect. He didn't want to imprint because it was something that could control him. Not only that, but now there's also Jacob to go through. Rachel, on the other hand, was an independent woman, who didn't take bull from anyone. She wanted a future, a career, and she wasn't going to be under any man. Falling in love was not part of her plan, and especially not with one of her little brother's little friends.

When Paul saw her, he knew he imprinted. He tried to hide it, and he successfully did for about a month before he exploded with the emotions he kept in. The more he tried to hide it, the less he could control his temper, and one day he just snapped. His curiosity got the best of him. He followed Rachel for a whole day, and Rachel being a smart woman, caught him. She was really angry, and he thought she looked beautiful furious. He couldn't help himself, and he captured her lips with his. She freaked out even more and stormed away from him.

Of course, the next day Jacob came and attacked him. He was about to fight back, when the thoughts and feelings he's been keeping away from them came flooding out. Jacob was pissed off, but made no moves to keep his attack. Everyone knew in ten minutes. Billy explained to Rachel what happened, but she didn't agree with it. She ignored him for a week, but she couldn't forget the kiss they had. Finally, he went up to her and apologized for his actions. He asked for a compromise; they would start clean, and she agreed.

For whole month he flirted with her, courted her, and finally she agreed on a date. It wasn't long after that, that they became a couple. Now, Paul thought they were ready for another step forward.

"Rachel?" He interrupted her thoughts.

"Hmmm?" She asked distractedly. How was she going to help Jacob?

"Rachel." He said firmly, capturing her attention.

"Sorry, I'm just so worried about him." She apologized. He nodded in acceptance. He took her hands in his, and cleared his throat. He was starting to get nervous. Maybe this was a bad time. He shook his head, no he wanted to ask this now, it felt right.

"Would you move in with me?" He said, looking her in the eyes. Rachel's heart started beating rapidly. Her hand started to sweat, but she smiled. She nodded her head.

"Yes!" She exclaimed, launching herself at him. He caught her, and they both felt a little bit of relief and happiness. After a while she suddenly stopped smiling, and started frowning again. Paul pouted.

"What's wrong?" He asked. She faced him.

"I just feel bad for feeling so happy, while Jacob's so broken." she explained. Paul caressed her face gently with his massive hands. She leaned into them, and he smiled.

"I'll try talking to him." He promised, making her snap in attention.

"You will?" She asked enthusiastically. He nodded his head in confirmation.

"Thank you! I love you." She jumped on him again. He laughed, catching her.

"I love you more." He said. She grinned, and kissed him roughly. He smirked, loving this side of Rachel. If it would make Rachel stop worrying, he was going to talk to Jacob. He'll talk to him tomorrow.

The next day, Paul pounded on Jacob's door. When Jacob didn't respond, he opened the door. Jacob gave a low growl, and Paul rolled his eyes. He walked in and turned on the lights. He cringed when he saw Jacob.

Jacob was thinner, frail, and just broken. He was sitting against the wall, his hand hanging uselessly on the floor. He had huge bags under his eyes, his skin was paler and death was a better picture than his face. Jacob didn't even look at him. His heart went out to his brother, but he wasn't here for touchy stuff. It was time he got some tough love.

"Get up." Paul demanded. Jacob looked at him for a second, before sliding into the fetal position. Paul sat down on the bed, and stared at the broken piece of man in front of him.

"Look, I know it hurts. You probably think death would be better than all of this pain." Paul tried to empathize. Jacob, for the first time, responded. He sat back up, and glared at Paul.

"You know nothing of the pain I feel!" He barked. Paul raised an eyebrow.

"It's like drowning in lava, but I just won't die. It's like my heart has been cut open and alcohol was poured all over it, and it feels like a fresh wound every second. You don't know what pain is until you lose her." Jacob broke down. Paul hardened his heart, and kept his face blank.

"It's not all about you. It's about your family and the people that love you too." Paul said, surprisingly calm. Jacob glared at Paul, but made no move to threaten him.

"Your sister is worried about you, and your father is in the brink of breaking down as well. He's been weaker lately, have you noticed?" Paul asked, knowing the answer. Jacob felt shame and worry enter his consciousness. He didn't like it, and hated Paul for bringing it out. Jacob growled loudly.

"Get out! I don't need to listen to you!" Jacob yelled, standing up to physically remove the other man from his room.

"Afraid of the truth? Ashamed with your selfishness?" Paul asked, not moving from his spot. Jacob stopped and felt the fury leave him. Paul was right. He sat back down, tired from the energy he exerted. Paul was shocked that Jacob didn't continue on, but kept his face carefully blank.

"I don't know what to do." Jacob said coarsely. He was so confused. He was only nineteen years old, and the trials he has faced was too much. One year ago, he thought all he had to do was move on from Bella, and Adalie would come back. He thought it would all work out in the end. He has been ready for Adalie for five months now. There hasn't been any news about her. She didn't come back. She hasn't mailed him or contacted him. Had she really moved on from him, or worse, was she gone from this world? Jacob winced, when he thought of that possibility.

He had been in a catatonic state for a few months. It was when his inner wolf won out, and realized he had lost his soul mate. He felt ashamed for not think of his family, but the pain was too much to bear.

"Have you tried contacting her?" Paul asked. Paul thought that Jacob probably did, but it didn't hurt to ask. Jacob's eyes widened. Paul's jaw dropped.

"You mean, you haven't even tried emailing her?" Paul shouted. Jacob shook his head sheepishly. His heart started beating rapidly with hope. Could it be as simple as that? Jacob ran for his laptop, and waited impatiently for the computer to load.

"Unbelievable." Paul whispered, aghast. Jacob ignored him, and wrote Adalie a short note:

My Dearest Adalie,

Where are you? How are you? I miss you. I'm sorry. Please come back, or at least give me your address and I'll come to you. I love you. I love you so much. The pain of losing you is unbearable, and the only thing that's holding me back from leaving this life, is the thought of seeing you and being with you once again. If you still hate me, that's okay, just tell me your fine. I just need to see you. Please email me back. I'll be waiting for you forever. I love you.

Forever only yours,

Jacob

He sent the message, and stared at the screen, waiting for her return email. Paul rolled his eyes.

"You are dumb" Paul said with no emotion. Jacob ignored his comment and looked at him with worry.

"What if she doesn't email me back?" Jacob asked.

"Then look for her. She ran away? Run after her. You're supposed to be her soul mate. You know where she is, you just have to look hard. Follow your heart!" Paul shouted, exasperated from Jacob's idiocy.

Jacob closed his eyes realizing how ignorant and arrogant he has been. He had a lot of growing up to do. How could he have thought all he had to do was wait for Adalie? How could he have not thought of looking for her? Why has he been so wrapped around himself? This wasn't how he was raised, and it's not the kind of man he wanted to be. He needed to stop being an immature kid, and start making the right decisions. He looked at his future brother in law.

"Thank you." Jacob said. Paul shook his head.

"It wasn't entirely for you. Stop making Rachel so worried." Paul said firmly. Jacob nodded.

"I'm sorry. I'm glad you imprinted on her." Jacob said. Paul smiled, but it faded quickly.

"I'm not me you should be apologizing to." Paul said. Jacob nodded in understanding. He had let a lot of people down. He had worried them, and he needed to stop dragging people into his personal problems.

Paul got up and headed for the door. Before he closed the door behind him, he turned to Jacob one more time.

"Before you leave, tell your family. Also, bring someone with you. It'll make Rachel worry less." Paul advised, closing the door before Jacob could respond.

Jacob sighed. He stared at the screen for one more hour, while thinking about how he could solve his problems, before finally getting up. Every step he took felt like walking on thorns, every breath felt like drowning in water, every beat of his heart felt like it was being cut open, but he was going to keep the pain to himself now. He plastered a fake smile and left his room for the first time in months. Billy took one look at his son, and he knew his son wasn't feeling the slightest bit better, but at least he was trying. He was proud of him.

"Dad, I'm real sorry." He said softly. Billy nodded his head, and rolled onto the kitchen table.

"Let's eat. You need some nourishment." Jacob kept his smile the entire time, and tried to make small talk with his dad, while eating. Billy looked healthier already. The door opened and Rachel walked in. She stopped abruptly, shocked at the scene before her. Jacob smiled her way.

"Hey Rach. Thanks, and sorry for making you worry. Paul's a great guy, he really cares about you." Jacob apologized. Rachel already knew that, but she smiled in appreciation anyway. She sat down on the chair, and started to eat with them.

"Hey, are you pregnant? You look at little bloated." Jacob joked. Rachel bit into his bait, and scowled.

"Shut up! I'm not fat." She snapped back. Jacob laughed, though it was half hearted. Rachel put her tongue out, before laughing with him. They continued their friendly banter for the rest of the night. It would have been like old times if Rebecca had been there. Billy was smiling the entire time. He wished Sarah was there to see how strong their kids were. His heart felt full with happiness for the first time in years.

Author's note:

Thank you for reading, and I hope you liked this chapter.

It's set up differently, as you can see, but I'm experimenting a little.

As always, I would like to thank all the reviewers, and as promised, a little pain for Jacob. Don't worry, there will be more.

Thank you to all who favourited this story, alerted this story, or gave a review. A special thanks to those who review.

Please give a nice comment or some constructive criticism. This is actually my first long story, so any advise would be helpful. Thank you!