Oh, the habits of my heart, I can't say no. It's ripping me apart. You get too close, you make it hard to let you go.

Nick glanced at the clock mounted on the wall of the large room once again, tapping his foot impatiently. It read 3:59 PM. Time wasn't moving nearly as fast as it should be, and yet, it was moving too fast. Had it already been a whole week since his last visit to the prison? He had promised Matty that he'd visit as often as he could, though this had only been his fourth time since he turned himself in.
Nick had started out coming to see him every other day-just to check in, see how he was adjusting-but after they ran out of small talk, things would just get awkward and quiet. They hadn't quite resolved things yet, but at least they were on good terms again. Franky had definitely been the knife that had separated them, but neither of them were willing to let her go; they both loved her too much.

The alarm blared once, signaling that it was now visiting hours. He took a deep breath, preparing himself for whatever would come of today's conversation.

"Nick," greeted a familiar voice from a not-so-familiar face. It took Nick a moment to realize that the man before him was indeed his brother.
"Matty? You look shit." Matty had had some stubble growing out the last time he'd seen him, but now it was almost a full beard, and his hair was now reaching his shoulders, pieces hanging in front of his sunken face here and there. His dark eyes encompassed by the puffiness of someone who hadn't slept properly in days. Matty pulled the chair out from under the small metal table and sat down. "Nice seeing you, too." He scoffed. "How's dad?"
"Still pissed, but I think he's getting over it." Nick slid his open pack of Marlboros, offering him a smoke. It looked like he needed one. "Cheers, mate," he said, sliding one out of the package. Nick handed him the lighter, and he lit the end, inhaling deeply, letting the smoke settle within his lungs before blowing it out contentedly.
"So," he said after taking another puff, "have you heard from Franky at all?" Nick flinched at the name. He knew she'd come up sooner or later, he had just hoped he'd be more prepared when she did.
"Erm, no. I haven't. Not since the party." It wasn't exactly a lie. She hadn't answered or returned any of his calls since she'd left, so technically he hadn't heard from her. Other than what Alo had told him he had heard from Mini, anyway. It was clear she didn't want to speak to him, so eventually he gave up trying to reach her. Though a day hasn't gone by that he's stopped thinking of her. You can run away all you want, Franky, but you'll never leave my mind.

Matty let out a sigh of relief. "Good. It's better that way."

Nick narrowed his eyes. "And what is that supposed to mean, exactly?"
"I mean, you don't need that in your life, Nick-" He gave him an incredulous look. "You don't know what I need," Nick snapped, balling his hands into fists. "I do, little brother. And it's not that. You're too good for her."
"I'm too good for her? And what, you're not?"
"Her and I are the same, Nick. It's why we make sense. She's been trying to make you see that." He reached a hand across the table, meaning to comfort him, but Nick moved away. "You deserve better."
"Fuck you, Matty. You think you're any good for her? You're not. You're the reason she went to Luke. If she'd been with me, she wouldn't have gone with him. None of it would have happened." He swallowed hard, pushing the bad memories out of his head with brute force.

"Yeah, but you didn't want her then, Nick. Did you? And she didn't want you either." Matty folded his arms across his chest, curious for an answer he already knew.
"I did, but you were in the way. You're always in the way, and you always have to have what I have. First Liv, then Franky. You just can't stand to see me happy, can you?" "No, Nick, it's not like that-"
"It's exactly like that, mate. But not anymore. Franky's gonna come back, and she's going to choose. She's going to choose me because she knows we're right for each other. And you won't be able to do a sodded thing about it because you'll still be here, rotting in a cell."
"Nick."
"No, Matty." He stood up, staring down at his brother with daggers for eyes. "I'm leaving. And I'm not coming back." He grabbed his coat from the back of the chair and stormed off, leaving Matty speechless.

Nick rounded the corner of the alley, slamming his palms into the concrete of the wall in anger. He spun around, pressing his back to the wall, and pulled out his smokes, lighting one, his fingers shaking from adrenaline. He inhaled sharply and whipped out his phone, hesitating for a moment.
"Fuck it."
His fingers dialed carefully, and he held the phone up to his ear, waiting.
Ring, ring.
It was a sound he had grown accustomed to in the past couple of weeks. The endless ringing and finally a click saying the caller could not be reached. It had become a sort of soothing lullaby.
Ring, ring.
"Nick?"
He jolted out of his reverie, nearly dropping his phone in the process.
"Franky?" He mumbled, his cigarette wobbling between his lips. "Franky, you there?" He half-believed he'd made it up.
"Yes, I'm here. I'm-I'm back in Bristol, Nick." His heart swelled with hope. Finally.
"Shit, Franks, I-can I see you? Can we talk? I-I need to see you." The words came out in a giddy jumble, but somehow she had managed to understand what he was getting at. "Tonight. Meet me at the pub, okay? We can have a drink and talk. I need to talk to you, too." She sounded strong, confident. As if she had been planning this conversation for weeks. As if she'd been thinking about him for weeks.
"Yeah, what time?"
"8 o'clock? I've got to see Mini first. She doesn't know I'm back yet." He smiled. "I'm glad you're back, Franks. I've missed you." Her breath came out softly from the receiver. "Me too. I've got to go, but, 8 o'clock, yeah?"
"8 o'clock," he repeated.
"See you then, Nick." The line clicked off.

Once again, time had seemed to be against him. The following four hours hadn't seemed to come soon enough. He had left for the pub 30 minutes prior to when they were to meet, too hyped up to sit at home any longer. He had shaved, put on a clean shirt, and even combed his hair. He'd never been so nervous in his life. It's not like this was a first date or anything. He and Franky were way past that, or at least they had been. Suddenly, he felt nauseous. Maybe she wasn't ready to pick up where they'd left off. Maybe she wasn't ready to love him again. Maybe she was just here to break his heart.

He ordered a beer from the tap, chugging more than half of it at once. He felt the warmth of the alcohol radiating throughout his body, a familiar buzz setting in, calming his nerves.

She came in at 8 on the dot, her hair damp from the light rain that had just begun to fall. She removed her blue outer coat, revealing a lighter shade of blue jumper dress with a black, long-sleeved knit underneath. Nick's breath hitched, and she strode towards him casually, her face letting nothing escape but a small smile. He stood as she approached him.
"Hi," she said simply. She wrapped her thin arms around his torso, bringing him into an embrace. He followed, placing his arms around her small frame, gently at first, but then a little more fiercely, longingly.
"I've missed you so much, Franky." He choked. She released him, looking into his eyes. "I missed you too." She motioned for him to sit down and ordered herself a beer as well.
"How was visiting with your family? I tried to ring you, but..."
"Yeah. They're fine. Great, really. I'm glad I went." She nodded to herself. "Well," he breathed, "If it's what helped you sort things out, I'm glad you did too." He placed a hand against the side of her face, and her mouth twitched. From what, he wasn't sure.
"Drinks?

After two or three beers, she finally spoke again: "Listen, Nick. I realize it hasn't been easy, and I know now that was I was doing to you and Matty wasn't right. I love you both, but...I can't." His face fell slightly, anticipating what she was going to say next. "I think, maybe-shit, no. I know that it'd just be best if we went back to being mates." She looked up at him. "Nick?" He blinked a few times, bringing moisture back into his eyes. He hadn't been aware of the fact that he had been staring at the condensation forming on their glasses the entire time until just then. He cleared his throat, and placed a hand on her arm.
"Yeah. Best mates."
She looked surprised. "Really? You're okay with that?"
"Sure. It's not like you're going to go running back to my brother, anyway, because he's in jail. So I'll be just fine. We'll all be just fine." The bitterness in his tone was unmistakable.
"Nick-"
"No, I mean it, Franky. You want to just be "mates"? Fine then. We'll just pretend we never even happened. Just as long as you promise you won't go back to my brother because he fucked you up, Franky. And he'll keep fucking you up and he won't give a shit about it." The blood beneath her cheeks boiled.
"I was already fucked up, Nick. He didn't do anything to me."
"No. Promise me."
"Nick, I-"
"Promise."
She sighed, her voice coming out soft, barely discernible. "I can't."
Nick stared at her for a moment, and she him. After what seemed like an eternity, a simple "Okay" was all he had to say as he made his way to leave.
She grabbed the sleeve of his jacket, forcing him to stay. "Nick, come on. You have to understand I'm just doing what's best for you both."
"I don't give a damn about, Matty, Franky. But you do. And that's the problem." She said nothing, unable to disagree with either of those statements, and released him from her grasp, letting him walk out of her life.