Sakura had bad dreams that night.

At first she was just walking down the streets of Konoha, looking into shop windows at their various displays. But when she passed by a stall selling masks, like for a festival, she saw her own eyeless face staring back at her.

She reeled back with a shriek, but the mask was unmistakeably her face. It had her soft pink hair, her lips, even the tiny scar on her cheekbone. How is this possible? She thought, forcing herself to look away.

The whole rack of masks were the same, hyper-realistic and creepy. The next one along, she found, was Umeko. It had the long dark hair and perfect oval face of her henge. In a way, this mask was even more horrifying, because Umeko really had been artificially constructed. In a sense, she was a mask.

There were other masks on display. She recognised her face when she was much younger, and still had long hair. There was the painted face of The Blossom's mural. The long blonde hair and forehead seal of her mentor, Tsunade. Even Kakashi's cloth half-mask was there, an odd contrast to the full human ones. There was even one face she didn't recognise: a brunette girl, maybe in her early teens, with purple stripes on her cheeks. She wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean, but looking at it caused her heart to race.

"Care to try one on?" The street vendor was right behind her. Their face was a complete blank: she couldn't properly look at it.

She shook her head. "No, thank you."

The vendor seemed surprised. "Oh? Do you really like that one you've got on?"

Sakura's hands flew to her face, and she raced to the mirror hanging on a nail at the edge of the stall. But before she could look at her face, the mirror shattered and the dream changed…

Now everything was swirling red and black, seas of blood and storms of darkness. Shards of mirror glass whipped around her face, stinging her eyes. She tried to scream but her mouth clogged with dark liquid, causing her to choke and cough. She scratched at her mouth with her hands, but there was a thick layer of cloth covering it over. She tried to wipe the glass and blood from her eyes, but it only made it hurt worse, sending shooting pain into her left eye. She was sure the pain would kill her any second. But she didn't want to die in such a place, with no friends to carry her body back home. She collapsed to the damp ground, breathless and in agony. And the ground swallowed her up…

She was back at the Blossom, or at least watching the main bar at the Blossom play out before her eyes, like a scene from a movie. She couldn't turn her head to look in any other direction. In fact, she couldn't move anything at all. It took her a moment to realise that she had become the painting of the beautiful pink-haired woman. She was frozen in a graceful pose under an eternally-blooming tree. It was rather peaceful, if she didn't think too hard about the compulsion to move.

She could see her mother working behind the bar, and wished she could call out to her. There was also the lodger, Kenta, there too. He seemed to be admiring Sakura the mural as he sipped his tea. Sakura felt uncomfortable under his gaze; like he knew she was trapped there in the painting but wouldn't help her free. After a moment he got up and walked toward the wall where Sakura stood trapped. Her mother continued what she was doing. Kenta smiled as he approached, looking straight into Sakura's real eyes. She didn't know what scared her so much about the man, but her peaceful feeling had entirely evaporated and had been replaced with desperate panic. Her ninja reflexes were telling her to flee or fight, but she remained frozen and beautiful under her tree. He was so close now he'd be able to touch her. Slowly he extended his hand…

Sakura shot up in bed so suddenly that her blanket went flying across the room like a ghost. Gasping, drenched in sweat and with enough latent adrenaline to punch a hole through anything that came at her, she stood in a fighting stance on the end of her bed for a few rapid heartbeats, before her brain caught up with her and she slumped back.

She was too worked up to go back to bed, so put on a dressing gown and went to make herself a cup of tea. The sun had barely crested the horizon, and would take a little longer to rise high enough over the buildings of Konoha. But she could see well enough, and even the small amount of light helped soothe her troubled heart.

What did the dreams mean? Why had they visited her now? Was it guilt from deceiving Kakashi and then leaving him without explanation? It had seemed the kindest thing to do in the long run; the longer she was Umeko, the longer she risked hurting him. Or worse, doing something really stupid like falling for him.

Perhaps that was the real cause of her dreams. She was being punished for liking her secret identity more than her real one. As Umeko she felt mature and feminine, everything she felt she lacked as Sakura. In truth, she was about the same age as Umeko looked. She had been an adult for a while now. But in the eyes of others she still felt like a freakishly-strong, highly professional medic nin, who couldn't be viewed by other shinobi as a proper woman when she was stitching up their naked bodies, or beating them up in a sparring match.

Or worse, what if people still saw her as the gangly pre-teen with long hair and no real abilities? She worried that Kakashi sometimes saw her like that, which was probably why he had never bothered giving her any extra training like he had with the boys. Granted, Sasuke and Naruto were confirmed prodigies, but it still occurred to her to feel hurt by Kakashi's neglect. Naruto's words that night, about Kakashi training them all into powerful ninja, only felt half-true. His training had been important, but it hadn't been what made her powerful. Tsunade's personal instruction and several years of dedicating herself to becoming someone who could protect her loved-ones had done that.

Umeko had managed to get closer to Kakashi in two nights as a civilian than Sakura had gotten in several years as a kunoichi. It had felt weird to see him differently, as an equal, as a man. It had felt even weirder to be seen by him as a woman. But it had opened her mind to a frightening and alluring possibility: that she could be something more than what she was. Was that what she wanted? And was Kakashi the man she wanted it from? If her nightmares were anything to go by, the answer was probably no. But perhaps it was her approach that was flawed. If she wanted to befriend Kakashi, have him view her as an equal, it would only be meaningful if he saw her. The only way Kakashi should see her was as Sakura. If he didn't care to get to know Haruno Sakura, then she needn't bother herself with getting to know Hatake Kakashi.

There was a knock on the door of Kakashi's apartment. He hadn't been expecting anybody, and people didn't just drop by. Especially not so soon after his getting discharged from the hospital. He wondered if it was Tsunade, changing her mind about his release and coming to drag him back to that antiseptic-smelling hell. He almost let himself believe it might be Umeko, before silently reprimanding himself. Even if she knew where he lived, she had seemed pretty determined that they would never again cross paths. She probably had a husband or something, that didn't like the idea of her getting friendly with strange shinobi.

Of all the people he had imagined, Sakura hadn't come up. But there she stood, looking kind of tired, but holding up a bag of what smelled like good food.

"Tsunade told me you'd been released. I figured you probably weren't in the mood to cook, so I made some rice balls."

Kakashi cocked his head to one side, trying to understand this new friendliness in his estranged student. He held his hand out for the bag. "Thanks. You didn't have to."

Sakura pulled the bag back out of reach. "Actually, I was thinking we could go for a walk. It's a nice day, and you've been cooped up for ages. How about a sort of picnic… thing?"

The silver-haired jounin thought about a polite way to decline. Even if it meant missing out on food, the prospect of a random picnic with Haruno Sakura, on a day that he felt particularly antisocial, didn't really appeal to him. But she saw his hesitation, and the sudden glimmer of hurt in her eyes seemed so surprisingly intense that he felt compelled to please her.

"Yeah, sure. Just let me grab my vest."

She knew exactly where to take him. There was a clearing not too far from the entrance of Konoha, where she occasionally went to train, or even just relax. There was a small lake, more like a large clear pond, where she could walk out to the centre and practice her forms. She had only recently decided to hone her elemental ninjutsu; after so long building up her taijutsu and medical jutsu, she felt like a new challenge. And it had indeed been challenging. She hadn't even been sure what her chakra nature was. She'd bought the special paper that was supposed to reveal it (Naruto had mentioned it once when Kakashi was helping to train his wind style a few years ago), and had been surprised when it turned soggy in her hand. She wasn't sure what she'd expected, but she had never noticed a special affinity with water before.

But after doing some research, alone in the Konoha library, Sakura decided it made a degree of sense. Water-types were generally intelligent and adaptable, inclined toward healing, and approached obstacles with perseverance and patience. It was actually a little gratifying to see what she had always quietly thought to be her finest qualities, reflected back at her in her chakra nature. She set about learning and practicing the seals for some basic water release jutsu. They were tricky to get right, especially when learning them out of a book. But she was able to make two water shuriken before she got drained, and had even managed to make a small amount of mist once. She looked forward to the day that she could surprise everyone by producing a Water Dragon Bullet, one of the first water release jutsu she had ever seen. That had been on her first mission with Team 7, when Kakashi had promised to protect them with his life. Of course, that day was a long way off, but that only made her keener to get back into her usual practice regime.

"Here we are. What do you think?"

Sakura stepped into a small clearing with what appeared to be a natural spring in the middle. It was ringed by a cluster of trees, creating a rather cosy atmosphere. Kakashi was indeed impressed; he hadn't known this place existed, so close to the village.

"Yeah, it's pretty. How long have you known about it?"

Sakura shrugged. "Found it a little while ago, by accident. At first I just came here because it was nice and quiet," she told him as she unpacked the rice balls and knelt on the grass beside them, "but I also do a bit of training here these days."

"Really? Doesn't seem like there'd be enough space." Kakashi couldn't imagine Sakura punching up the idyllic little clearing. He grabbed a rice ball and wolfed it down while Sakura was looking the other way. "So why'd you bring me out here?"

She paused, apparently considering her response. "I dunno really. It's just a nice place, and it seemed a shame to keep it to myself."

"So nobody else knows it's here?"

"I mean, others have probably stumbled upon it at some point, but you're the first person I've told about it."

Kakashi frowned. "That's really nice of you, Sakura-chan, but you didn't have to."

She seemed surprised by his response. "I know. I wanted to."

"It's just, I know things were tough with the hospitalisation and all, but I don't need… pity or whatever this is."

"Why would I be doing this out of pity?"

"Why would you be doing it at all? I don't know. We're not exactly close these days. I haven't been your captain for years."

"We haven't been 'close' ever," she replied, and Kakashi sensed a lot of hurt behind her words. He held up his hands in a gesture of dismissal.

"That's not true, Sakura-chan. You were my student. I like to think we were all close at some point. Times have changed, but I haven't forgotten Team 7. Actually, just last night I ran into Naruto, and-"

Sakura stood up so fast that Kakashi was actually surprised into silence. He wasn't sure his reaction was due to his out-of-action sharingan or an underestimation of Sakura's growth as a ninja. Her hair looked particularly fluffy, like a cat puffing up its tail in defence. Kakashi wondered if she would try to hit him. But when she spoke, she sounded unnervingly calm.

"What's Sasuke's chakra nature?"

The unexpectedness of the question threw Kakashi. "What?"

"You heard me; what elements does he use?"

"Fire and lightning, but-"

"And what about Naruto?"

"We both know he's wind-natured, what's your p-"

"And what's my chakra nature?"

Kakashi swallowed. To be honest, he couldn't know for sure, having never asked or tested her himself. He knew she was waiting for him to crumble and admit to that though, and he didn't want to give her the satisfaction. Anyway, all the clues were there for him to figure it out easily enough.

He smiled confidently. "You're earth-natured of course," he said, as though surprised she didn't know. "For all that I've been a horrible teacher these past few years, it doesn't take a genius to notice the way you can move earth with your chakra." He gave her an offended look, hoping she felt guilty for ever doubting his knowledge of her.

She stared at him for a long time, as if reading what little she could see of his face. He felt a sudden surge of sympathy for the people he had examined with the sharingan, for he finally understood what it meant to be completely stripped bare by someone's eyes alone. He met her piercing gaze defiantly, until finally she blinked and looked away. She laughed mirthlessly, apparently dissatisfied by what she had seen in him.

"You really don't know anything about me, do you?" she said, amazed. "All these years I thought you were trying to understand the way I worked just as much as you were with Sasuke and Naruto." Her eyes were bright but free of tears as she spoke, something that surprised Kakashi.

"You know, when I first started working with them, I was so terrified of being left behind. I used to dream that the rest of Team 7 had gone off on a mission and hadn't bothered to wake me up and tell me. I used to have nightmares about getting trapped somewhere, and nobody coming to find me." The pink-haired kunoichi clenched her fists at the apparently painful memory. "But then I woke up and I thought no: Kakashi-sensei swore that he wouldn't let anyone die. He promised to protect us with his life. And I swore that I would become someone you would be proud to protect."

"Sakura…" Kakashi began, unsure how to respond. The unexpected picnic had taken an even more unexpected turn.

"But then you did leave me!" she cried, throwing up her hands, "First Sasuke, then Naruto, then you! You all went away and left me here!"

"I didn't go anywhere!" Kakashi defended, finally finding his voice.

"Yes you did! You ran away with Sasuke to drown in revenge. You journeyed all over the country with Naruto and Jiraiya. You forgot that I was still here, still close enough to help. We were all we had left, and you just walked away."

"I gave you Tsunade. I personally asked her to consider training you. I did what I could to give you the best opportunity in your career. You didn't need me, Sakura."

"I needed you," Sakura said, and the softness of her voice contrasted deeply with the shouting of before, "Maybe not always with my career, but with life. You barely talked to me every time you saw me. You made some stupid excuse every single time I suggested we take a walk together, or share a meal, or train. It got to the point where I stopped asking." She faced away from him now, and Kakashi could only wonder at her expression.

What could he tell her? That he had been afraid of failing her, like he failed the other two? That he truly had believed she didn't need his help like they did? It would have been a weak lie. Sakura knew the truth; that Sasuke and Naruto were strong, and interesting, and special, and in the end Sakura had just been the extra teammate that he didn't have time for, that got handed over to Tsunade when she was the only one left to give his time to. Even when they had reunited with Naruto and Sai as the new Team Kakashi, he'd been more interested in developing Naruto's overflowing potential than he had been in Sakura's progress. She had already exceeded his expectations at that point, to be honest.

It was an awful truth to realise; even more so because it was clear Sakura knew it too. She turned back to look at him once more, and he found himself unable to meet her gaze.

"I'm sorry, Sakura-chan. I did neglect you. You deserved a great teacher, and you never got that from me."

"No, I'm sorry," Her voice sounded so lifeless that Kakashi couldn't resist the urge to look at her. Her eyes were like unpolished jade, cloudy and unfocused. "I should have realised it was too late to get to know you now. It's too late for you to get to know me. We just… don't mean that much to each other." She seemed to be resolving herself to a major decision. Kakashi wanted to stop whatever it was, change her mind; but he wasn't sure it was his place, if it had ever been.

"Goodbye, Kakashi-sensei. For the record, saving your life wasn't anything sentimental, so you shouldn't feel embarrassed by it. I did it because the medic's code states that we must never give up on healing our comrades; only their death will stop us trying to save them. Just so you know."

She began to walk away in the direction of the village. Before she left the clearing, she paused and turned back, as if she had forgotten something. "Also, for what my opinion is worth, you should accept the transplant. Your sharingan is powerful, but that's exactly why it's so unstable. I can tell it hurts you; it doesn't have to, though. For once, think about what you'd gain as well as what you're afraid you might lose."

After a brief, neutral smile, she turned away once more and disappeared among the trees. Kakashi stayed in the clearing a while longer, in the vain hope that he could channel its serenity into his own turbulent mind. Why did everybody seem to be leaving him lately? And why did he seem to care? Umeko was a stranger and Sakura was estranged. It was a surprise they'd been willing to be a part of his life at all.

Nevertheless, he felt like someone had stabbed a fishhook through his gut and was tugging on the line. What made these women so special? What made his emotions so suddenly intense?

Sakura got just out of earshot before she burst into tears. She berated herself for caring so much. Honestly, she shouldn't have been so surprised by such an outcome. There was no reason for Kakashi to have been interested in the real her; it made far more sense that it was Umeko's beauty and mystique that had attracted him all along. And even so, why should she care so much? What made Kakashi so special? What made her feelings for him so suddenly intense?