Chapter 8

Confessions & Secrets

"I'll grab my coat and we can go." Bones was already taking off her labcoat before Booth could even respond.

"No." It came out fast and firmer than he intended which he saw immediately by her startled look. "I'm taking Sweets."

"But, I'm your partner." Disbelief, shock, worry, fear, possessiveness, anger, insistence she was flooded by emotions which seemed to gather in the pit of her stomach.

"You are." He moved closer. She stepped back. That charming smile wasn't going to work, not now, not with this.

"What did Cullen say?" It hit all at once. Booth had met with him this morning and never contacted her afterwards, he'd come over to the Jeffersonian instead, obviously to tell her in person. That couldn't be good. A panicked, frantic look grew in her eyes.

"Everything's fine, Bones."

"That's not an answer, Booth. What did he say?" Booth rubbed his face and came around the couch in her office to sit down motioning her to join him. Folding her arms over her chest she stood still. Letting a deep sigh escape him he tried to figure out the best way to tell his partner about his meeting with Cullen.

Booth had arrived early. Cullen was late. The combination led to a level of tension and anticipation that Booth hadn't experienced for quite some time. Not that anyone could tell from the outside. From the outside he was a picture of tranquility. Leaned casually forward elbows on his knees or leaning back arms folded across his chest. The inside was a completely different story.

He wasn't actually worried about telling Cullen about his relationship change with Bones. He was pretty sure Cullen would pat him on the back and tell him it was about time they got their shit together. The pregnancy, however, he wasn't as sure about. He might get a raised eyebrow and some pretty serious chiding or he might be told Bones was sidelined until it was over. Probably a little, "You should know how to keep that from happening by now, son."

He let out a long held breath. How? Bones said that Angela asked her how it could have happened. He smiled slightly as he considered her sciency answer.

"Booth, it's not that surprising when you consider your virility. Though the tests were done three years ago I am positive an analysis of your semen today would yield similar results." There was a sweet smile and that charming low laugh of hers. "28.8 million sperm in a mere 3 milliliters, Booth. You are extremely virile." It seemed like a sense of pride oozed from her as she rehearsed those statistics from long ago. It may have come unexpectedly but at least they did it the old fashioned way he reassured himself.

Unexpected, it had been unexpected. Neither one of them had intended to make love that long night when Vincent Nigel-Murray died. While it was a good excuse for not using protection it wasn't one he could use. They'd made love within reach of his nightstand and a drawer with condoms that had been sitting there. They had been tied so tightly in the moment, there was no thought of timing or their relationship or protection. It was it's own moment, suspended in time. It wasn't explainable. Inexplicable as Bones would say and it seemed like trying to explain it would be breaking a sacred trust between them.

Sweets. Booth took in a long measured breath. Sweets had been right about one thing. A single kiss and the dam had definitely broken. Maybe not even a kiss, a single touch. His hand slipped under that ratty old sweatshirt onto the deep hollow of her lower back, he felt her smooth cool skin under his hand, it took his breath away, and hers. He heard it followed closely by that beautiful hum of acceptance. And when he felt her hand reaching for his skin, that was it. At first just his hand wandered, needing to explore the deep scoop of her lower back, the one he'd traced and retraced in his mind a million times. Then, encouraged by her sweet responses he couldn't resist reaching, pressing his lips to her forehead, to her temple, to her cheek until they brushed her lips and her lips brushed his. They teetered on the cusp of a complete change in their lives and without hesitance they jumped. With each kiss their hands gained purchase. Clothes pushed aside, kicked away, buried deep under the sheets and blankets that shielded them from a world they wanted nothing to do with.

Booth found himself flexing his hand open and closed then shaking the memory off as he tried one more time to refocus himself. He cleared his throat trying to pull his mind back away from the memory of that night but he was too far gone. The long gentle slope of her waist and hip, her strong lean back, her chest pressed firmly against his own, he retraced every inch of her in his mind. Every inch had begged to be worshipped and he did just that. The desperate need to be together, to comfort and love, to feel every sensation of making love. The night was a validation that they were alive. It was panic that one of them could have easily been mourning the loss of the other. It was a promise to not waste one more minute being apart.

"Booth." Bones, his Bones, whispered soft and breathy in his ear. "Booth." Her voice filled his mind with every experience that had been theirs over all the years. "Booth." It filled him with uncontrollable love and passion and need.

"Agent Booth." Cullen's secretary, Lucy, called out. He didn't hear her at first, so completely lost in his thoughts and memories. Flashes of Bones, their bodies wrapped and twisted together, grabbing, clinging to one another. She'd called out his name in this tone that both begged and demanded all at the same time. He was powerless to it.

"Booth." Bones' irritation jolted him back to the present and the reality he didn't want to confess. "Why won't you answer me? Why are you taking Sweets and not me? What happened?"

"It's not Cullen, okay, it's just that, you know, you have this new body here in the lab and I know how you are about that and Sweets can handle this one so you can stay here a-"

She cut him off with a long steady stare of disbelief.

"You're hiding something from me, Booth. You think I can't tell, after all these years, you think I don't know?" Her eyebrows raised high on her forehead waited impatiently for a response. "I know I'm bad at reading people but I am not bad at reading you. What happened with Cullen?"

It wasn't Cullen. It was him. He was worried about being able to protect her in the field, her and the baby. Especially after what had just happened last week. The stitches still healing on her forehead was a quite vivid reminder for Booth. But he didn't know how to tell her that without being greeted with a swift and immediate angry response full of reassurances that she can take care of herself, that she's strong and capable. Maybe he didn't have to tell her that right now though. Maybe he could just tell her about Cullen and leave his concerns for later.

"Agent Booth." Lucy's sharp voice seemed less echoey and distant this time. It pulled his attention immediately as his eyes came up to meet those of Cullen's secretary, standing and leaning over her desk. Looking more than a little indignant she waited until she had his full attention before she continued. Booth started to stand in response. "Agent Booth, Deputy Director Cullen just wanted you to know he will probably be another ten to fifteen minutes but he's on his way." Booth acknowledged her with a nod and a thank you then settled back in his chair.

He was anxious to get this over and report the outcome to Bones. She acted calm but he knew she'd be fretting about this. It had been a huge fat part of their past. It kept them separate for so long. Before Hannah, before Maluku, on the steps of the Hoover he barely had a chance to tell her he wanted to give this thing between them a chance before she tried to stop him with her patented excuse, but they won't let us work together. Then, only moments after she'd denied him, she asked him with those penetrating, pleading eyes if they could still work together. He never could tell her no.

Rubbing both hands over his face Booth took a breath and reached for his phone. He prayed to God that she wasn't right about the FBI not letting them work together. It would break her heart if Cullen wanted to separate them or sideline her during her pregnancy. It would break his heart to tell her.

Cullen's running late. I'll let you know when I'm done.

Slipping his phone back in his pocket he tried to relax, dropped his shoulders, readjusted his legs, redirected his mind. Tried anyways, redirecting his mind wasn't easy. It was all Bones today. A little baby bump was noticeable to him now. The thought of it made him smile. She couldn't wear any of her pants, they were all too tight or uncomfortable. Unfortunately, it didn't stop her from trying pair after pair on every morning. Too big for her regular clothes not big enough for maternity clothes, she'd told him all about it. Her frustrations endearing. He spent a great deal of mornings wiping her tears and soothing frustrations. She'd taken to wearing skirts mostly and lived in trenchcoats or her labcoat. All an effort to hide. This thing, their partnership, Cullen, Sweets, it all had to be handled. It had become an undercurrent of pressure that pushed every little thing to the edge.

While Sweets knew, at least Booth was pretty sure he knew after the whole scene at Emmett Madison's apartment he wanted to be done with the whole conversation about it. Right now it hung in the air, nothing concrete. They had a therapy session later. They'd address it then, he was sure of it. He should have an answer from Cullen before then and hoped to pull Cullen out like an ace up his sleeve. That was the plan anyways, his plan.

Booth found his impatience growing and found relief as Cullen rounded the corner to his office. Booth was up and his hand out to greet Cullen as he brushed past Booth on the way to his office.

"Good morning, sir." Booth straightened himself quickly. Deputy Director Cullen motioned for Booth to follow him into his office.

"Okay, okay." Booth tried to appease Bones. "But come sit down, okay?" Sitting down meant bad news to her. Reluctant she made her way across her office and sat down angled so she could see him clearly. "Details, right?" She nodded.

"It was good. He was Cullen, you know, always pretty staunchy and serious. Shook my hand, congratulated us, said he'd take care of it. The fact that we've worked together for so long and that you're not technically FBI worked to our favor. Told me to just keep it professional at work and it shouldn't be a problem."

She looked relieved, letting out a long slow breath and smiled.

"Then I told him about the pregnancy." Sucking in a large breath she held it in an act of nervousness. "He didn't say anything, really freaked me the hell out." He chuckled a quiet anxious laugh. "Then paged Lucy and asked her to get Noble up to his office immediately."

Booth watched as Bones' eyes widened. Her heart raced.

Cullen wasn't as congratulatory about the pregnancy. "What the hell, Booth, didn't waste any time there did you?"

Booth's answer was simple. "No, sir." Then they waited in silence for Noble to join them. Booth hadn't had that many interactions with Noble. This wasn't the way he wanted this to go.

She was holding her breath. Booth reached over and grabbed her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "No matter what they do or say, Bones, you are my partner, you always will be." He wanted to hold her, kiss her, comfort her the way he could when they were at home but they couldn't not here, not yet. "Then he told Noble with me right there in front of him. Noble was pissed, I think mostly that I went over his head. In the end, they said whether you can still go out into the field during the pregnancy is the Jeffersonian's decision."

"In the end?"

"Yeah, there was lots of back and forth but it all worked out. I talked to Cam and she didn't see any reason you couldn't keep working in the field, you know, until, you can't. But."

"But?"

"But, I think we need to really consider, you know, case by case, bit by bit, so you and the baby can be safe."

"I am fine, Booth, I can do anything I could do three months ago, anything. That is not going to change. I am an extremely competent woman. I am more than capable of doing the work and protecting myself, pregnant or not pregnant." She was pulling away, up, and pacing, lecturing. It was a day for everyone to put him in his place and it was getting really old.

"Hey, hey." He chased her. "Hey, I never said you weren't capable, okay? I know you're totally capable, Bones." Turning to face him, he caught her eyes and in that moment he understood. She needed work to be stable, normal, unchanging because everything else wasn't. He could see it in her eyes. "Hey, you know what? Forget Sweets, you come with me, okay?" He was close and reaching for her but resisted. Professional, right?

"I'll go call him and tell him we'll just see him at our session tonight. You get your coat and bag." Smiling weakly he took a couple steps out of her office. His shoulders tense and tight, he'd just have to up his game, be extra vigilant to protect them as long as he could and have the rest of this conversation later in her pregnancy.

She nodded and smiled, he watched her relax, watched the look of satisfaction and confidence wash over her. He loved her. There was no doubt he loved her.

It worked out, that day, there was no real threat to the interviews or locations and eventually Booth found himself relaxing, even getting lost in the beautiful routine that was them. By the time they made their way to Sweets' office they'd had a nice early dinner and were busy bantering back and forth.

That's how they stumbled into Sweets' office. Satisfied, relaxed, the last of their arguments happily dying out as they settled on his couch. Sweets wasn't relaxed. He seemed awkward and unsettled. Booth noticed before Bones, who took her cue from him looking back and forth between the two men, trying to understand the tension.

It was their first therapy session with Sweets since the scene at Emmett Madison's had gone so horribly wrong. In the days that followed they barely saw Sweets which they accepted happily. It was all good until now, both wondering if the nervousness they saw in him was about their relationship. Had Cullen or Noble talked to Sweets? If so he didn't say and the tension just got worse as they danced around what seemed like the obvious.

"I gave Justin's family the name of a good therapist and victim's services info." Sweets threw out information to fill the air. Small talk and long uncomfortable stretches of silence were quickly becoming unbearable for everyone.

"Good." Booth tried to keep conversation going and as far away from the change in his relationship with Bones. He wasn't ready yet. "Good. He'll need that."

"His parents." Sweets picked his words carefully. "They're really poor but they seem like good people. I think they'll do their best to help him." Booth nodded.

"If money's an issue." Dr. Brennan offered eagerly then pulled back suddenly more cautious. She'd learned to tread lightly on financial issues having found offering to use her considerable wealth to help people often made situations more awkward. "Money shouldn't keep him from getting the best care given what he's already been through. That can be taken care of."

She looked pointedly at Sweets making sure he understood her offer to pay for services to help the young boy who'd been abducted by Emmett Madison. Abused but not killed, found locked in a large plastic dog kennel in the garage beneath the suspects apartment. Finding him alive had been the highlight of a long dreary case.

"I'll keep on top of it." Sweets assured her. "I'll let you know." Then without skipping a beat Sweets dove in.

"So, Dr. Brennan, how are you feeling? I heard they kept you overnight for observation, a possible concussion or something like that."

"I did." She'd tried desperately to get them to release her but the doctors recommended she stay and Booth agreed with them, making it impossible to leave. For the baby's sake he kept telling her, better safe than sorry. Fingering the itchy stitches on her forehead she bit her lip before answering. "I'm fine though." Pausing she swallowed hard. "Thank you for asking."

"That's good, that's good." They thought he was going to bring up their relationship next, they'd prepared for that, but he didn't. Sweets had no intention of discussing that right now he had another mission. "I want to talk about the whole hospital thing." Her whole body stiffened as she tried to hide the panic in her eyes. "Why, Dr. Brennan, why didn't you want to go to the hospital? And I don't want the sciency excuse."

Booth reached for her hand squeezing it tight in his own.

When she spoke it was soft but firm. "Sciency isn't a word, Dr. Sweets, and I make no excuses for my choices." She sat up straight, pulled her hand away from Booth's, and set her carefully folded hands gently in her lap, deceptively calm, ready for a fight.

oooooo0ooooo

A/N I hit the place with this chapter that I just had to let it go. Special thanks to Snowybones who edited this for me because in all actuality she edited two chapters - the first one was all finished and done when I decided something was missing and went back and wrote a completely different chapter 8 LOL Her patience is unmatched. The good news is that chapter 9 is almost done. I am just going to tweak a few things and add a bit to it and it will be ready.

Thank you so much for reading and for all the kind reviews. The are the fuel that keeps me going when I am so tied in mental knots that I want to scrap the whole thing! I am like that hellacious plant in Little Shop of Horrors screaming "Feed me!"